Nice Guys And Players Excerpt:
Women, regardless of their race or class, tend to put men into two categories, select and non-select. The men in the select group are generally handsome, successful, and charismatic. These men can walk into a room full of 100 women and 70 of them will find the men attractive. These are the men women will be most receptive to. The men in the non-select group can walk into a room full of 100 women and are lucky if 10 women even notice them. These
men are generally invisible to women.
Jonathan is one of the select. He is handsome, has a muscular build, a high paying job, dresses stylishly, has a beautiful condo in an upscale neighborhood, and owns a late model luxury car. Jonathan knows he’s the man and is
conceited. When he walks into a club, women go crazy. They display their legs, breasts, or whatever they think will draw Jonathan’s attention. Women even go up to Jonathan and ask him to dance. They may buy him a drink.
Jonathan takes for granted he will walk out of the club with the woman of his choice.
Barry is one of the non-select. Barry is average looking on a good day. He has a slim build, average job, cheap looking clothes, shares an apartment in a working class neighborhood, and doesn’t own a car. Barry is the type of man who will one day be a millionaire but doesn’t act like it because of his modesty. Barry will walk into a club and women won’t even glance his way. Barry will ask several women to dance and they will turn him down only to dance with another man a few minutes later. The few women who do talk to Barry want him to buy them expensive drinks. At the end of the night Barry leaves the club the same way he arrived, alone.
The key thing to remember about the select and non-select groups is that it is all based on the woman’s perception.
In ten years Jonathan may be overweight, without a job, and back living with his parents while Barry may be a millionaire businessman with a mansion and built like Tyson Beckford. Barry is the better based on his personality and ambition but he doesn’t have what it takes to attract women to him at first. A man has to be attractive in some way to have a woman choose him initially. Women don’t have the time or energy to check out every single man they come across. Women try to determine on first look whether or not a man has it going on. At the very least, women try to determine if the man is worth getting to know. When women talk about the shortage of good men what they really mean is there is a shortage of men in the select group.