Podcast: Becoming the Nice Player
Big Rom Replay: That Cool Dude
The following blog was originally published on June 8, 2014.
There are different types of players out there. Different groups of men use different methods to effectively attract and seduce women. The most obvious ones use looks and status. You have the Dexter Goodbars of the world who use raw sex appeal to get women. That never fails. Works a little too well. Ask me how I know. Then you have the Eric Money’s of the world. Oh wait I haven’t told you about Eric Money have I? Eric Money is that successful cat who had to work his way to the top. He wasn’t born with good genetics like Dexter. Eric had to work hard to keep his body tight and his grooming on point. Eric had to develop the confidence that comes from a man succeeding in life. He also needs to have that status with the professional career (doctor, lawyer, accountant) with a big house/condo in an exclusive neighborhood with the latest model luxury car. Eric can turn on women enough sexually and can take care of her material needs. Eric Money is the man women want for the long term. I’m going have Eric do a guest blog soon.
Then you got Larry Gamer. Larry gets the least amount of play from women even though he thinks he gets the most. After all he has attended numerous seminars on how to pick up women, and he reads all the books. On top of that he is on several websites and social media pages soaking up game. Larry isn’t a pretty boy like Dexter and can’t afford one thousand dollar tailored suits like Eric. Larry just got his game. So he goes and hits on every reasonably attractive woman he sees, young and old for a couple of weeks until he runs into Jane Basic who is inexperienced with men but still isn’t inclined to give up the goodies to anybody other than Dexter or Eric. Larry’s decent enough though so she lets him slob her down and suck her breasts. Of course Larry gets on a player website and makes it seem like Jane fucked him like a porn star.
Of course, I don’t have to say too much about Charlie Nice. He could give a guided tour of the friend zone. Being nice is Charlie’s game though. He believes what women say publically and in the media about what they want in a man. Now many men think these women are lying publically. They’re not. The message is just not meant for the Larry Gamers and the Charlie Nices of the world. When women say they want “nice guys” they want Dexter and Eric to give them some attention. Dexter’s too busy looking at the tattoos on a woman’s back and Eric is taking another vacation in Brazil.
See there’s another cat out there I haven’t talk about. There’s some outliers in the male population. One of them is Jimmy Cool. See Jimmy ain’t fine like Dexter. He ain’t bone ugly either. He alright. A woman will hold his hand walking down the street and introduce him to Big Mama. He doesn’t have Eric’s status and money. He keeps a steady job though. He can keep his rent and car note paid. He doesn’t run game like Larry. Jimmy got better things to do than chase women who don’t want him all day. Jimmy has never really seen the inside of the friend zone like Charlie. If a woman is his friend, she’s his friend. There’s no ulterior motive on Jimmy’s part. Once Jimmy sees a woman as a friend she becomes like a sister to him and he doesn’t have any sexual desire for her. At the same time even if a woman doesn’t see him as a romantic partner she never friend zones him because by Jimmy’s nature the potential is always there for more. So what’s Jimmy’s secret? He’s just a cool ass dude.
Let me be raw about it. Too many of you bamas out here are too pressed for pussy. Men are stressing the hell out of women. Seriously, nothing gets on a woman’s nerves more than a man who’s in her face and she doesn’t want him. Now most women will try to be polite about it and let the man know in different ways that she isn’t interested. Some men think they are doing something by being persistent anyway. Usually the Larry Gamer types. See Jimmy is Dexter’s cousin. He knows that when a woman chooses a man she will find a way to let him know. So Jimmy sits backs and do what he do. If she chooses he decides whether he wants to choose her back and they go from there.
That’s the thing about a woman’s choice, a man can try to influence it by hitting the gym, making some money, or running some game. Ultimately though it’s the woman choice though. A man can’t control the woman but he can control himself. A cool dude isn’t going to stress because a woman isn’t sexually interested in him. That's life. A cool dude knows that every woman isn’t going to want him. He just moves on. If the woman is good peoples he may allow a friendship to develop. If not, whatever. They go live their lives.
Being cool is not about wearing the latest fashions, and knowing the latest slang. Being cool is simply about at peace with a particular situation. Being cool is about being calm within yourself. A wise person knows not to take anything personally. In martial traditions, the warrior is taught how to stay calm in the midst of battle. By staying calm he can gain victory. It’s the same thing with men pursuing women. Too many men get upset when a woman rejects them and go through all sorts of emotional turmoil. The cool dude is like whatever.
Let me school you for a second about rejection. Rejection is a beautiful thing. A woman will tell a man where he stands as a man right away. The smart man learns from rejection. Personally I have grown more from women who have rejected me than women who have cooperated with me. When a woman rejects a man she is telling her truth. The man may not agree with it but it’s her truth. She is a mirror showing him who he is and what he needs to work on. I mentioned in a previous blog that a woman rejected me for sex because of my weight. Now what if she had sex with me anyway which women will sometimes do even if they are not attracted to the man? I wouldn’t have thought about losing the weight, I wouldn’t have attracted the very sexy women I would later get, I wouldn’t have my sons bothering me right now about getting on the computer while I’m typing this, and I wouldn’t have the impact I’ve had on people’s lives with my books. I accomplished a lot because I was cool with a rejection.
On another tip Women are simply attracted to cool men. The average woman has a lot of emotional turmoil. Very often they will gravitate towards that man who radiates a cool, calm energy. That man they can just “chill” with. Now say a man doesn’t have looks, money, or game. By cultivating that cool vibe he can draw women to him like a magnet. Say you have a woman, Vanessa Brickhouse. She has a beautiful face, and that thick/slim type of body where she is at that middle point between fat and slim. She can’t walk down the street in peace. She can’t even relax at a family gathering because Uncle Junior is always trying to feel her up. Vanessa don’t have too many female friends. Women don’t want the competition and some of her attached friends don’t want her around their boyfriends/husbands. She spends a lot of time by herself. So Vanessa’s in a grocery store wearing sweats and a baseball cap when she notices Jimmy Cool going through the kale greens. Jimmy glances her way and goes back to picking out greens for his Grandmother. He then leaves the section. Vanessa sees him in a couple of sections and he still ignores her.
Finally, she sees him in the ice cream section and she acts like she’s looking for the same thing. They strike up a conversation. Vanessa notes that Jimmy isn’t coming on strong to her, he’s calm and controlled. She does feel sexual heat from him because she sees his print. No heterosexual man is THAT damn cool. Vanessa even in sweats got a phat ass. Despite that Jimmy is very respectful by keeping his eyes on her face. They talk, they vibe, and they decide to meet at a coffee shop later. Later at the coffee shop they vibe so much that they decide to continue the conversation at her place. From the living room they make it to the bedroom.
Now what did Jimmy do? By being cool he allowed Vanessa to get comfortable in his presence. The average woman is defensive and unable to relax with men. That’s because the average man is trying so hard to get in a woman’s panties that she can’t let down her guard. In order to truly sexually arouse a woman a man has to let her be free in his presence. In this society we force women to wear masks to cover their sexual faces. The man has to be cool and calm to the point where a woman feels safe in taking off her mask. A man has to not only be cool within himself but cool with a woman’s sexual nature. Most men are judgmental. They want a woman who can fuck them like a porn star but then call her a slut when she actually does so. That’s not cool. Let me tell you something about me. I know what I know about women because I don’t judge them sexually. Women will tell me everything once they see how cool I am. There are a bunch of cats out here who call themselves “Red Pill” who think they know the real deal with women. They don’t. They see PARTS of the reality but not the big picture. The big picture would cause a lot of men to commit suicide. The shit is cold-blooded when you really see it. That’s all I say about that.
Anyway if you a man and you know you’re not 6’2” with pretty eyes and an eight pack. You don’t have that six figure job and loft condo in an exclusive neighborhood. You don’t have tactics and techniques which may give you a fighting chance. That’s okay. Learn to be cool with women. You might not ignite that instant spark but sometimes that slow building fire is just as good, even better.
Alright y’all be cool.