Podcast: Finding The Right Woman
Think On This
This is something sexually frustrated men really need to think on. These are direct quotes from my books. Take your time with this.
A woman feels good when she is aroused. A man who can appeal to a woman’s senses and mind will usually be chosen. An aroused woman is under a powerful influence. She is under romantic intoxication. Romance, when you break it down, is nothing more than a form of arousal. Those flowers, dinners, and getaways are designed to arouse women. Romance novels are popular for that reason. Romantic intoxication is worse than any other addiction. Women will change personalities while addicted to romance. They become more excited, their skin tingles, they get butterflies, and they begin to glow. Women have left their families, jobs, and friends to feed this addiction. A woman will sleep with her best friend’s husband while romantically intoxicated. Players can keep a woman in a state of romantic intoxication. Nice guys fail to do this. A man skilled in the art of arousal, yes, it is an art, can manipulate a woman to the point where he can get anything he wants from her. Good, responsible men need to develop their arousal skills not only to keep their women happy but also to protect them from the more predatory players. The man who masters the art of arousing his woman need not fear competition.
From Nice Guys and Players
One of the biggest complaints women have about their relationships with men is that they are not being sexually fulfilled. This is part of the reason so many women chase after Mr. Goodbar. He is perceived to be able to satisfy women. Sometimes a woman may not be completely satisfied even with a Mr. Goodbar. A woman’s sexual satisfaction partly falls on her own shoulders so the fault is not entirely the man’s even though a woman may want to believe this. Many women have issues with sexuality that must be dealt with before they can truly enjoy sex. A discussion of these issues is a book in itself. Men, however, must develop themselves and their sexual techniques to the best of their ability.
From Sexual Chemistry
One of the most talked about issues in male-female relationships is the subject of good girls and bad boys. The reason good girls fall for bad boys is the sensuality projected by these men. These men, be they rock star, pro athlete, or drug dealer are connected with their primal maleness. This alone sets them apart from most men. To make it in any profession be it music, sports, or illegal activity, a man has to have control over his primal instincts. Rock stars, no matter how crazy they act, have to practice their music and deal with business matters. Pro athletes have to practice many hours because they may be cut from the team for making a costly mistake during the game. Drug dealers have to be very disciplined or they wind up in jail or dead. Applied to interactions with women, the man is turning the women on by his primal maleness but his disciplined nature keeps his primal maleness from harming her.
From Meeting Attractive Women
Using the term, “Mr. Goodbar” is not a random piece of slang. One woman said it meant a man had a good dick. Not really. “Mr. Goodbar” is more of an allegory of what women experience with this type of man. Most women like chocolate and I don’t mean in a racial sense. Give most women something with chocolate in it, be it a candy bar or an ice cream sundae and they will derive great PLEASURE from eating that chocolate. Some women will even get mild orgasms from eating chocolate. Mr. Goodbar is a human version of that piece of chocolate. She wants to indulge as much as possible in his presence. Her body chemistry will literally change when she is around this man. This chemistry produces a state of euphoria in the woman that is similar to the feeling a person gets when they drink alcohol. The woman in Mr. Goodbar’s presence is in a state of romantic intoxication. An overwhelming majority of women are addicted to getting this feeling of intoxication, this euphoria, this PLEASURE. Women are just like junkies in this regard. Instead of tapping their arms for their fix, they tap their thighs. The Players and Bad Boys are not delivering this drug on a street corner. These men are delivering this drug in bedrooms, offices, storage rooms, and sometimes in back alleys.
Here’s something deep for you. The key to where a man stands with women is his ability to deliver this drug, this euphoria, this intoxication. We will call this drug, “Pleasure.” The biggest mistake most men make is not knowing how women see them. Many men see themselves as Alpha Males. They will have kick-ass manager jobs or successful businesses making big money. They will be above average in looks and height. They will have homes and cars. Same type of men I described in the previous section. Yet they will struggle in their relationships with women. They may get sex but not from the Dimes. They may have to settle with the Plain Jane with a slight attitude. These men don’t get the best women because they are unable to deliver the Pleasure. When the average woman is looking at a man she is looking for clues that he can deliver that good stuff. Many men despite what they have going on for them materially and how confident they are they don’t think in terms of delivering Pleasure. Indeed most men when they get a little bit of money feel like women should fall over them. They see the woman as an accessory to their lives, a trophy to be won if the woman is a Dime. Knowing that women judge men according to their ability to deliver Pleasure it then shines a different light on the sexual hierarchy of how women see men.
From A Player’s Eyes
Think on this.
The Beautiful Ones
Back in the late nineties I was working on an interesting book project. It was a novel about a subculture of extremely beautiful people and the problems they face. Hey, hey, hey, don’t laugh. If you watch any television show on the CW network you would think this subculture really existed. I’ve always had a fascination with subcultures. Sometimes I even think of getting a formal sociology degree even though I took more than a few of these classes in school. That might be something to do.
Anyway as part of my research I put an ad in a local newspaper looking for “extremely attractive men and women for a research project.” I only talked to a few individuals. A couple were looking to get paid and a few more I played phone tag with. The few I talked to included an attorney who said he didn’t get taken seriously in court or while playing sports and another guy who was a gay intellectual with an astronomical IQ. No joke. This dude was on some serious deep esoteric, intellectual stuff that suggested to me he was born maybe two centuries too soon. He was talking about concepts found in the classic movie, The Matrix, three years before the movie came out.
Since I didn’t get enough people from my ad I talked to some male and female friends who other people would consider extremely physically attractive. I emphasize the term PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE. Beauty is in the eye of beholder and also how someone comes across. For example, someone who physically wouldn’t stand out in a crowd can still be considered attractive if they have charisma and great grooming. Some people become more attractive as you get to know them. These types weren’t going to be the focus of my novel.
I was interested in those rare individuals who have what I call optimal genetic beauty. They have a great bone structure that transcends race, nationality, and culture. Indeed, many of the individuals I interviewed and knew personally were multiracial. There were also a few I interviewed who could be said to be the optimal genetic representative of their racial phenotype. One was a muscular chocolate brotha who had women swooning. Women would see us talking and then take me to the side and ask, “So who’s your friend?” Another was a pale Irish redhead whose skin looked like porcelain. There’s actually some science behind what I just wrote but it’s some really deep stuff I don’t go into publicly.
The angle I was going to take with my novel was about the inner life of physically beautiful people. Using my chocolate buddy as an example, so many women used to ask me about him I thought about pimping him. Seriously this dude used to have women just throw themselves at him. Thing was he was laid back and even shy. What I really found interesting was that women would think and ask all sorts of things about him based on his physical appearance and they would be off by miles. He got plenty of sex but he really wasn’t a classic player trying to juggle multiple women. He was just a good person. Many women thought that because of his looks that he was womanizing dog. Naw, he was more of a serial monogamist.
He was just one example. What I found most was that these beautiful ones faced a lot of stress because of their looks especially the women. Extremely beautiful women have a reputation of being airheads with nothing to do but look good. A few seem like they deserve this reputation upon first meeting them. Getting to know them though I found these women to be deep and fascinating individuals. This has always been the case. For example, I knew one very beautiful young woman who was working as an exotic dancer. Physically she was a traffic stopper with her face and body. She was also voracious reader who could probably hack a government computer network. I remember her telling me, “Rom leave those PC’s alone! Get yourself a MAC.”
Many of the beautiful ones have a deep inner life but because of the culture we live in people don’t really care. The whole PUA/Seduction industry is based on getting these extremely beautiful women. Any street harassment an average woman faces is magnified for the extremely beautiful woman. I remember when I worked at a health club in downtown DC and I almost had to throw hands with a man who followed one of the workers into the club. This worker have a very beautiful face and the body of video vixen. Outside of her physical appearance she was very sweet person.
Things can be almost as bad for physical attractive men. There is a subculture of men on the internet who feel if they get plastic surgery to improve their looks they will finally get women. Maybe, but there are many physical attractive men feel differently. The thing about the physically attractive man is that he typically is not a player. Most are genuinely nice men who won the genetic lottery. Most womanizing men are not drop dead gorgeous. On average, womanizers are plain looking men with good bodies and nice clothes. Looks matter to women but not necessarily extraordinary looks. A reality is that while women may stare at and lust for a gorgeous man, actually talking to one may not happen. Most women are intimidated by a very good looking man. The average woman doesn’t want to be around a man who looks better than her. Even in cases where this does happen any insecurities she has will come to the surface.
Also physically attractive men typically do not have incentive to develop the skillsets of player. Though most women are intimidated there are still going to be some aggressive women. In all these stories in the media about female teachers having sex with male students we always see the pictures of the women. I guarantee that if the pictures of the boys were shown they will be pretty boys with toned bodies. A man used to aggressive women will typically get caught up with one woman who takes care of his needs. Other physically attractive men will have nerdy interests and mannerisms. Some women will be this way as well. I recall a conversation I had recently with a very physically attractive but awkward young woman who is a regular at comic book conventions as a cosplayer.
I think about these beautiful ones as I think about the more average people who chase them. There have been whole subcultures that have developed for the purposes of having sex with extremely beautiful women. Quiet as it is kept there are also a few subcultures of women who are focused on admiring and securing extremely handsome men. These subcultures can be found on social media if one knows where and how to look. It’s amazing to me how people try to discount looks and yet so many people are not satisfied unless they have a mate who is very physically attractive. Even people who are in nominally loving relationships will step out if given an opportunity with a Beautiful One.
Honestly that’s normal. Two things need to happen though. First we need to stop pretending that looks, especially good looks, don’t matter. It’s a politically correct and a marketing lie for dating companies that needs to be put to rest. Second, people need to remember that Beautiful Ones have personalities and quirks just like anyone else. For the person that has to have a Beautiful One they have to get past the looks and focus on the personality. Sometimes the personality is even more beautiful than the outer shell.
One issue extremely attractive men and women have always said to me is that they want to be seen as human. Too many people treat the Beautiful Ones as objects and not as human beings who need love, affection, and companionship like everyone else.
As far as that novel, read the final product in my serialized story, Those Eyes. For a long time the working title of the book was, The Beautiful Ones.