Rom Wills, Author
  • Home
  • All about Rom
  • Podcasts
  • Meeting Attractive Women
    • A Player's Eyes >
      • Sexual Chemistry
      • Something For The Ladies
      • Nice Guys and Players
    • Those Eyes
  • Signed Book
  • Game Kings Documentary
  • I'm Not Playing
  • Nice Guys and Players University
  • The Sankofans
  • Starting From Zero
  • Nice Guys and Players Network
  • Contact Rom
  • Donate

Big Rom Replay: That Cool Dude

8/6/2016

3 Comments

 
            The following blog was originally published on June 8, 2014.    

********************

       There are different types of players out there.  Different groups of men use different methods to effectively attract and seduce women.   The most obvious ones use looks and status.    You have the Dexter Goodbars of the world who use raw sex appeal to get women.  That never fails.  Works a little too well.  Ask me how I know.   Then you have the Eric Money’s of the world.  Oh wait I haven’t told you about Eric Money have I?   Eric Money is that successful cat who had to work his way to the top.  He wasn’t born with good genetics like Dexter.  Eric had to work hard to keep his body tight and his grooming on point.   Eric had to develop the confidence that comes from a man succeeding in life.   He also needs to have that status with the professional career (doctor, lawyer, accountant) with a big house/condo in an exclusive neighborhood with the latest model luxury car.   Eric can turn on women enough sexually and can take care of her material needs.  Eric Money is the man women want for the long term.  I’m going have Eric do a guest blog soon.


          Then you got Larry Gamer.   Larry gets the least amount of play from women even though he thinks he gets the most.  After all he has attended numerous seminars on how to pick up women, and he reads all the books.   On top of that he is on several websites and social media pages soaking up game.   Larry isn’t a pretty boy like Dexter and can’t afford one thousand dollar tailored suits like Eric.   Larry just got his game.  So he goes and hits on every reasonably attractive woman he sees, young and old for a couple of weeks until he runs into Jane Basic who is inexperienced with men but still isn’t inclined to give up the goodies to anybody other than Dexter or Eric.   Larry’s decent enough though so she lets him slob her down and suck her breasts.  Of course Larry gets on a player website and makes it seem like Jane fucked him like a porn star.   

         Of course, I don’t have to say too much about Charlie Nice.  He could give a guided tour of the friend zone.   Being nice is Charlie’s game though.  He believes what women say publically and in the media about what they want in a man.   Now many men think these women are lying publically.  They’re not.  The message is just not meant for the Larry Gamers and the Charlie Nices of the world.   When women say they want “nice guys” they want Dexter and Eric to give them some attention.  Dexter’s too busy looking at the tattoos on a woman’s back and Eric is taking another vacation in Brazil.

          See there’s another cat out there I haven’t talk about.   There’s some outliers in the male population.   One of them is Jimmy Cool.   See Jimmy ain’t fine like Dexter.   He ain’t bone ugly either.  He alright.  A woman will hold his hand walking down the street and introduce him to Big Mama.   He doesn’t have Eric’s status and money.   He keeps a steady job though.   He can keep his rent and car note paid.   He doesn’t run game like Larry.  Jimmy got better things to do than chase women who don’t want him all day.   Jimmy has never really seen the inside of the friend zone like Charlie.  If a woman is his friend, she’s his friend.   There’s no ulterior motive on Jimmy’s part.  Once Jimmy sees a woman as a friend she becomes like a sister to him and he doesn’t have any sexual desire for her.   At the same time even if a woman doesn’t see him as a romantic partner she never friend zones him because by Jimmy’s nature the potential is always there for more.  So what’s Jimmy’s secret? He’s just a cool ass dude.

         Let me be raw about it.  Too many of you bamas out here are too pressed for pussy.  Men are stressing the hell out of women.   Seriously, nothing gets on a woman’s nerves more than a man who’s in her face and she doesn’t want him.   Now most women will try to be polite about it and let the man know in different ways that she isn’t interested.   Some men think they are doing something by being persistent anyway.  Usually the Larry Gamer types.  See Jimmy is Dexter’s cousin.   He knows that when a woman chooses a man she will find a way to let him know.   So Jimmy sits backs and do what he do.   If she chooses he decides whether he wants to choose her back and they go from there.

         That’s the thing about a woman’s choice, a man can try to influence it by hitting the gym, making some money, or running some game.  Ultimately though it’s the woman choice though.   A man can’t control the woman but he can control himself.   A cool dude isn’t going to stress because a woman isn’t sexually interested in him.   That's life.  A cool dude knows that every woman isn’t going to want him.  He just moves on.  If the woman is good peoples he may allow a friendship to develop.  If not, whatever.   They go live their lives.

          Being cool is not about wearing the latest fashions, and knowing the latest slang.  Being cool is simply about at peace with a particular situation.  Being cool is about being calm within yourself.  A wise person knows not to take anything personally.  In martial traditions, the warrior is taught how to stay calm in the midst of battle.  By staying calm he can gain victory.   It’s the same thing with men pursuing women.   Too many men get upset when a woman rejects them and go through all sorts of emotional turmoil.   The cool dude is like whatever.   

          Let me school you for a second about rejection.  Rejection is a beautiful thing.   A woman will tell a man where he stands as a man right away.  The smart man learns from rejection.   Personally I have grown more from women who have rejected me than women who have cooperated with me.   When a woman rejects a man she is telling her truth.  The man may not agree with it but it’s her truth.   She is a mirror showing him who he is and what he needs to work on.   I mentioned in a previous blog that a woman rejected me for sex because of my weight.   Now what if she had sex with me anyway which women will sometimes do even if they are not attracted to the man?   I wouldn’t have thought about losing the weight, I wouldn’t have attracted the very sexy women I would later get,  I wouldn’t have my sons bothering me right now about getting on the computer while I’m typing this, and I wouldn’t have the impact I’ve had on people’s lives with my books.   I accomplished a lot because I was cool with a rejection.

        On another tip Women are simply attracted to cool men.  The average woman has a lot of emotional turmoil.   Very often they will gravitate towards that man who radiates a cool, calm energy.  That man they can just “chill” with.   Now say a man doesn’t have looks, money, or game.  By cultivating that cool vibe he can draw women to him like a magnet.  Say you have a woman, Vanessa Brickhouse.  She has a beautiful face, and that thick/slim type of body where she is at that middle point between fat and slim.   She can’t walk down the street in peace.  She can’t even relax at a family gathering because Uncle Junior is always trying to feel her up.   Vanessa don’t have too many female friends.  Women don’t want the competition and some of her attached friends don’t want her around their boyfriends/husbands.   She spends a lot of time by herself.   So Vanessa’s in a grocery store wearing sweats and a baseball cap when she notices Jimmy Cool going through the kale greens.   Jimmy glances her way and goes back to picking out greens for his Grandmother.  He then leaves the section.   Vanessa sees him in a couple of sections and he still ignores her.   

          Finally, she sees him in the ice cream section and she acts like she’s looking for the same thing.  They strike up a conversation.   Vanessa notes that Jimmy isn’t coming on strong to her, he’s calm and controlled.   She does feel sexual heat from him because she sees his print. No heterosexual man is THAT damn cool. Vanessa even in sweats got a phat ass. Despite that Jimmy is very respectful by keeping his eyes on her face.   They talk, they vibe, and they decide to meet at a coffee shop later.   Later at the coffee shop they vibe so much that they decide to continue the conversation at her place.  From the living room they make it to the bedroom.  

           Now what did Jimmy do?  By being cool he allowed Vanessa to get comfortable in his presence.  The average woman is defensive and unable to relax with men.  That’s because the average man is trying so hard to get in a woman’s panties that she can’t let down her guard.  In order to truly sexually arouse a woman a man has to let her be free in his presence.   In this society we force women to wear masks to cover their sexual faces.   The man has to be cool and calm to the point where a woman feels safe in taking off her mask.   A man has to not only be cool within himself but cool with a woman’s sexual nature.   Most men are judgmental.   They want a woman who can fuck them like a porn star but then call her a slut when she actually does so.   That’s not cool.  Let me tell you something about me.  I know what I know about women because I don’t judge them sexually.   Women will tell me everything once they see how cool I am.   There are a bunch of cats out here who call themselves “Red Pill” who think they know the real deal with women.   They don’t.   They see PARTS of the reality but not the big picture.   The big picture would cause a lot of men to commit suicide.  The shit is cold-blooded when you really see it.   That’s all I say about that.

           Anyway if you a man and you know you’re not 6’2” with pretty eyes and an eight pack.  You don’t have that six figure job and loft condo in an exclusive neighborhood.   You don’t have tactics and techniques which may give you a fighting chance.   That’s okay.  Learn to be cool with women.   You might not ignite that instant spark but sometimes that slow building fire is just as good, even better.

           Alright y’all be cool.
3 Comments

Nice Guys and Players Excerpt: Sexual Chemistry

1/31/2016

3 Comments

 
                 In the fifteen years since the publication of Nice Guys and Players I've had discussions, comments, and reviews on various sections of the book.   The only exception though has been the chapter titled "Sexual Chemistry."  Only TWO reviews in fifteen years have even referenced this chapter.  Even then only one sentence was quoted.    I find that ironic because it's probably the ONE chapter in the book that a man seeking to improve with women NEEDS to read.     The following are a few excerpts from that chapter.

**************************

           Now it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty.  Let’s talk about sexual issues.  Sex is the one area that causes more trouble in a relationship than money or nosey girlfriends.  Sex is really the major difference between a nice guy and a player.  The most consistent statement by women about the nice guys is that they are not good in bed.  If they were good in bed they wouldn’t be nice guys.  They would be called Mr. Right.

            The nice guy has read through the previous chapters and learned some stuff and the player has read through thinking about what he could add.  Both have taken steps to improve themselves.  So here you have a man who has worked out, bought some nice clothes, shined his shoes, and is more aggressive and confident.  Women start to check him out.  He manages to have sex with a woman.  After they are through he is on top of the world because the woman was so fine.  She would have had more fun watching paint dry.  Despite the promise of a great night of passion she was left high and dry.  Now what?

            The sexual needs of many women are usually unmet EVEN when they are in steady relationships.  Too many men only want to get theirs and may be fooled by women faking orgasms.  The biggest single reason players get attention even when women know they are rotten is that the player is perceived to be better in bed than the nice guy.   Now I can hear the nice guys now.  “But I’m so romantic.”  “I make love in hotel rooms with rose petals and fine wine.”  “I take two hours in foreplay.”  Fellas, all of this is irrelevant if you don’t turn on the woman to begin with.

            One of the sad things about sexuality in American society is despite the fact that it’s so much a part of our culture nobody really talks about what it really takes for satisfaction.  It is especially sad that many relationships are destroyed because both men and women are not being satisfied.  There are too many books out there about sexual satisfaction that to me are too clinical.  Let me break it down for everybody.  Sexual satisfaction by Rom.
 
*************************
             A woman feels good when she is aroused.  A man who can appeal to a woman’s senses and mind will usually be chosen.  An aroused woman is under a powerful influence. She is under romantic intoxication.   Romance, when you break it down, is nothing more than a form of arousal.  Those flowers, dinners, and getaways are designed to arouse women. Romance novels are popular for that reason.  Romantic intoxication is worse than any other addiction.  Women will change personalities while addicted to romance.  They become more excited, their skin tingles, they get butterflies, and they begin to glow.  Women have left their families, jobs, and friends to feed this addiction.  A woman will sleep with her best friend’s husband while romantically intoxicated.  Players can keep a woman in a state of romantic intoxication.   Nice guys fail to do this.  A man skilled in the art of arousal, yes, it is an art, can manipulate a woman to the point where he can get anything he wants from her.   Good, responsible men need to develop their arousal skills not only to keep their women happy but also to protect them from the more predatory players.  The man who masters the art of arousing his woman need not fear competition.

            Unfortunately, too many men don’t feel it’s their job to make women feel good.  Too many men believe all they have to do is be responsible and stay out of trouble.  They feel the woman is responsible for her own happiness.  To some extent she is, but all women, regardless of how strong they think they are, need a man in their lives.  And men need women.  There are men out there who are confident, aggressive and look good.  They fail with women because they don’t take any actions to make women feel good.  Then they get mad at the women for not wanting them.  Women want men who can make them feel good.

            Women have dual sexual needs.  Most women are only partially aroused because most men don’t satisfy both physical and mental needs.  This is why most women don’t have orgasms on a regular basis.   A woman must be fully aroused to reach orgasm.  That’s why many women have two men in their lives:  The Player to take care of their physical needs and the nice guy to take care of their mental needs.

*************************

              Plenty of men are handsome, charming, and confident.  These men get attention from the ladies because of these qualities.  Despite these qualities, these men may still have trouble arousing women.  These qualities are important but more is needed.   To generate sexual chemistry with a woman a man must be able to release his inner masculine.  Men today are a mere shadow of what they could be.  Many men are putting on a façade to get along in life.  Many are wearing masks to conform to the social and political climate.  This is especially the case when men deal with women.  Men in the four categories behave this way.   Mr. Goodbar plays to the sexual needs of women.  The Masked Man hides his true face.  The Nice Guy believes that women will come to him if he is nice enough.  The Gamesman is busy playing games. All of these men are suppressing their inner masculine energy.

            So what is the inner masculine energy?  Let me break it down. Just as the inner feminine energy is receptive, the inner masculine energy is assertive.  Sperm goes out from the man.  The inner masculine is protective.  It desires to protect those associated with it. The inner masculine is disciplined. The inner masculine is will power.  The inner masculine faces its fears.  Most men in American society suppress their inner masculine. As a result of political and social changes over the last few decades in American society, men are burying their true selves.  Many men are not protecting their women and children.  Many are abusing their families.  Too many men are not assertive.   They are passive in the face of everyday life.  Many men are not disciplined.  Many lack will power.  A man in touch with his inner masculine will have a burning desire to control his own destiny.  He will want to control his life.   Which man in the four categories can truly say they control their life?  Mr. Goodbar? His ego is in control.  The Masked Man? He is afraid to show his true face.  The Nice Guy?  He is playing a game of make believe.  He believes women should want him because he is so nice. The Gamesman?  He is all about lies. The man who expresses his inner masculine is the Real Man.  He is real because he expresses his true self.
 


Purchase Nice Guys and Players
3 Comments

Different Worlds of Men

3/1/2015

1 Comment

 
            I lurk on a lot of websites, blogs, and pages on social media.   I like being a fly on the wall just to see what people think about different things.   As someone who studies subcultures I find the worldviews expressed in these different communities to be very fascinating.  Yes I call them communities because even how people interact in the comments section of popular blogs is the same way that people interact in the real world.   You have your dominant persons and you have your followers.   Even within the virtual communities there are cliques.    I’m not going to get to deep into the workings of virtual subcultures.   Well maybe in another blog when I need something to write about.  This particular blog I want to write about the different worlds of men.

            A foundation of my relationship books is the different categories of men.   What is interesting about these different categories is that they represent actual personality structures that have developed in this culture.   The development is the combination of nature and nurture.   Most men in the Mr. Goodbar category have good genetics.   Most have symmetrical and muscular body builds which naturally arouse women.   Women will naturally choose them.   Whether or not they take advantage of the good genetics is a matter of nurture.   A boy with good genetics growing up in a low income, crime ridden neighborhood is likely to grow up to be Mr. Goodbar.  A boy with the same good genetics who grows up in an upper class gated community is likely to be a Masked Man.   

            That’s some raw game there that I don’t give away for free.   The member’s only site is coming soon.

            Getting back to the different websites I lurk on I have found some rather interesting dynamics with regard to men in particular.   I check out some women’s web spots as well when I can find them.   Women as a group tend to keep their real juicy conversations away from prying eyes.   Women are real good at hiding their sexual faces despite what many men think.   How to read those sexual faces will be something else for the member’s only site.    Men though, we put it out there.   Most men tell everything whether it’s true or not.   I find the different worlds of men to be interesting in regard to how they interact with women.    I’ll share examples of some of these worlds.   I won’t give websites because none of these dudes are paying me to advertise for them.   I’ll use colorful nicknames.

            There one site I lurk on I’ll call “Incel World.”   Incel refers to “involuntarily celibacy.”   These are men who go long periods of time without sex.   From how they describe themselves they are not the most handsome or muscular men.    A belief in this community is that only the most handsome and robust men who they refer to as “slayers” get the lion’s share of sex from attractive women.   I emphasize attractive women because many Incels are only attracted to the most physically beautiful women and they have little to no interest in the average and ugly women who are more in their league.   These men spend an inordinate amount of time judging each other’s looks as well as the looks of “male models.”   This community is based on the primacy of looks, status, and money.   Intangibles such as personality and charisma are outside of belief system of this community.  

            Another site I check out every now and then is what I call “Scuzzy Playa World.”   This community is about that game.   These are lower end Gamesmen.   These men are about getting the pussy by any means necessary.   It doesn’t really matter the quality of women either.   The men in this community idolize attractive women like most normal men but are not above sex with any female with a pulse. From how these men talk I really don’t think most of them would pass up a drunk, average looking, overweight young woman who was on the autism spectrum.   Most people have met that one man who will stick his dick in anything female.   The “Scuzzy Playa World” is a whole community of such men.

            Several websites make up what I call the “Bitter Man Nation.”    These websites, blogs, and pages on social media are filled with men who spend their time bashing women.   These are typically men who are in the Nice Guy category who have started to act out after being constantly rejected not only by attractive women but average ones as well.    These men didn’t start off bashing women.   Indeed as a group these men at one time put women on pedestals.  That is until they’ve been friendzoned for the umpteenth time.  Another scenario is when they find out their prudish girlfriend who is making them wait for sex is doing the freaky-freaky with the local meth dealer.  At some point they snap.   Constant rejection can literally kill somebody.  Most male suicide is because of rejection.   The bitter men instead of slowly killing themselves have decided to strike back viciously.  

            One website I check out I’ll call the “Better Man World.”   These men as a group are generally positive towards women.   In this community these men are dedicated to improving themselves not just for women but for themselves in general.   The men in this community are likely to talk about business and making money as they are about women.  They recognize that everything is connected.   These are not men who were blessed with great genetics.  These are average dudes who know they need to improve their bodies, work on their social skills, and make more money.    A key word used in this community is “upgrade.”   As far as women they idolize the most attractive women but also look for women who have “their minds right.”   Men in this community will skip over a woman with the pretty face and phat booty if she brings nothing else to the table.  

            Now one community I’ll call “Poly World.”   This community is UNDERGROUND.  A search engine will not find this community.  A man has to be INVITED to be a part of this community.   The men in this community go beyond what is taught publically as game, dating advice, or seduction.   The conversations in this community isn’t about dressing well, working out, or what type of game to run to get a woman.   The men in this community are typically involved in relationships with three or more women at any given moment.   The conversations in this community focus on how to manage multiple women.   The typical complaint in this community is having too many women and dealing with the drama that brings.   

            Here’s the interesting thing about all of this.   The men from these different worlds RARELY interact with each other socially.   There are invisible boundaries that separate these worlds.  It is in a man’s true nature to set up boundaries.   These boundaries range from the personal space of a man to being the citizen of a particular country.   When men join with other men they set up a boundary.   Boys who live on a particular street will set up a boundary based on that location.   They will have loyalty to the boys on that street and see others as outsiders.   Street gangs are nothing but boundaries.   Many boundaries are set up around religious and political themes.   The Samurai were a boundary as were the Nazis as well as ISIS.   The boundaries of the communities I just outlined are set up around having the same mindset about relationships with women.   

            Boundaries like everything in life have good and bad sides depending on the perspective of the men.   A boundary can be good if it promotes personal evolution.   At the same time it can be bad if it prevents a man from learning something new.   Using the above examples I provided the boundaries are preventing many men from growing.   A great example is the Incel World and the Poly World.  One group of men has trouble getting any woman while the other group has to limit the number of women they are willing to deal with.   The Incels could learn a lot from the Polys but the boundaries would prevent this.  One issue is just the perspective.   It’s hard for two people with two different perspectives to communicate.  Two, race would be a boundary since the Incel World is primarily white, and the Poly World is primarily Black.   Yet there is something in the Incel perspective that is valuable because looks are a factor in mating decisions.  The Poly perspective is valuable for the most part these are average looking men.   Yet that conversation isn’t happening.

            The Bitter Men could learn a lot from the Better Men.   The Better Men have been rejected but instead of becoming mad they were inspired to improve which helps them in life period.   Better Men can learn from Bitter Men because Bitter Men do have a tendency to call out negative behavior in women.   Yet the boundaries are in place.   The groups are not interacting.

            One good thing about scuzzy playas is that they are realistic and pragmatic.  Many men have problems with women because they are looking for the perfect Tens.   Women who would be rated a Ten without the help of makeup, body shaping clothes, and someone good with Photoshop are rare.   The average woman in Western society is short and slightly overweight.  Most women are average looking.   Yet they are still very good women who have a lot to offer a man.   With the right makeup and clothes many of these women are very attractive.   Many men lose out on these women.  The scuzzy playa will talk to that woman even if she is wearing sweats.   The scuzzy playa has a lot to teach.  

            The takeaway I want a man to get from this blog is to go outside your boundaries or better yet expand them.   Any man can have several boundaries.   “Circles within a circle.”   To navigate life a man needs to have knowledge.  As a former pimp once said to me a man had to be in the streets.  What he meant was that a man needs to know what’s going on in the world.   Most men don’t grow because they stay in their little worlds.   Personally I know a lot about different things because I’m always exploring to gain knowledge.   Knowledge brings me power to move through life with authority.  

            Fellas, go visit some new worlds.

1 Comment

The Real Man - The Real Deal

12/21/2014

0 Comments

 
 The following is an excerpt from my book Sexual Chemistry - Nice Guys and Players Level II:                       

           
In Nice Guys and Players, I added a fifth category to the four categories of men.   The fifth category of man I called The Real Man.

 
*************
 
            I had mix feelings about including the Real Man category.  On one hand I was glad I did because quite frankly there are a few men who do not fit into one of the four main categories.  A man goes into the Real Man category after he evolves out of the four main categories.   My first book was geared to evolving men into the Real Man.    On the other hand the inclusion of the Real Man category let many men off the hook.  In seminars and talking with individual men, many would say that they are the Real Man.   Yet their aura and actions would suggest otherwise.   Many people will seriously believe that they have their act together when this is far from the case.   I let the men believe what they wanted to but in reality they were far from being in the Real Man category.

            The following is, as a friend would say, the “Real Deal Holyfield” definition of a Real Man:

            The Real Man is the man, who has developed all three components of sexual chemistry i.e. his inner masculine nature, his sexual charisma, and physical/organic appearance. These components are not only fully developed but they are under the full control of a man’s will in the sense that his libido serves him and not the other way around.   The Real Man is the man who has fully developed his will and is able to make the correct decision at the crossroads.

            The Real Man is the one who has mastered the art of discipline.   Outside forces cannot control this man.  This man does not take action based on emotion. This man does not let his sex drive control him.   He does not play games or wear a mask to hide his true face.   He is not a passive bystander in the game of life.   He is a hawk who soars above the crowd.  

            The key to understanding the Real Man is in relation to how he controls his sex drives.   The key word here is “control.”   There are many men who believe they control their sex drives when in reality they are suppressed.  For an example let’s use two different men, Eric and Gary.  Eric is a 30 year-old man with a good body build, average looks, and a pleasant demeanor.   He is an avid reader of the Bible and he spends a great deal of time at his church.   His parents were very strict as he grew up.  Eric’s main peers are primarily people from his church.  Eric is a virgin because he is waiting for marriage and he believes that pre-marital sex is a sin because of what the church, his parents, and his peers believe.   Now Eric may believe he is a Real Man because of his discipline in sexual matters.  

            Gary is a 30 year-old man with a good body build, average looks, and a pleasant demeanor.   Gary comes from a broken home and though he believes God exists Gary has no desire to step foot in a church.  Gary never knew his father and his mother paid little attention to him as he was growing up.   As result Gary fell into a bad crowd.   He was sexually active since he was ten.    By the time Gary reaches adulthood he had slept with more women than he could remember.   As Gary gets older, however, he begins to be pickier about the women he deals with.   By the time he is thirty Gary decides to not have sex until he meets a woman who would be good marriage material.

            Now which man is the Real Man?   If you picked Gary you are correct.   A Real Man controls his own sexual drives because he makes the decision to do so.   If someone controls their sexual drives because of outside influences they are not really in control.   Using the above examples, Eric may think he is control of his sexual drives but in reality he is suppressed.  The agents of suppression in this case are church doctrines, his parents, and his peers.  Eric believes that pre-marital sex is a sin.  Therefore he doesn’t have sex because he has a fear of sinning.  His parents and his peers support this fear.   Looking at it another way Eric would not have kept his sex drives under control if the fear element was not present.  

            Gary on the other hand, controls his sexual drives based on his personal decision.   He was not forced to do it by outside forces nor was fear a factor.  Gary’s issue was a loss of control of his sex drives.  He simply got tired of having meaningless sex with different women.   Outside factors did not play a role because Gary’s peers and certain factors in society supported Gary’s previous lifestyle.   If anything Gary is going against the grain.   By making the decision to be celibate until finding a woman who was marriage material Gary gained control over his sex drive.

            The vast majority of people in society tend to fall either into the category of fear being a factor in their sexual life or a loss of control being a factor. The factors are subconscious in nature.  Someone may think fear or loss of control is not present in their personalities but honest self-examination or more importantly, honest friends, will show one or the other to be the case.   The four categories of men each fall into one of the factors.  For Nice Guys fear is a factor in their sexual lives.  This fear can come from a number of sources.  It can be religious, psychological, or cultural.  The result is always the same.  This fear will have a suppressive effect on the sex drive of the Nice Guy.   The Gamesman is the opposite.  They have a loss of control issue, which is why Gamesmen will try to hit on every woman in their vicinity.  The Gamesmen are being guided by their sex drives and not the other way around.  The Masked Man will either have a loss of control issue or a fear issue.   The mask will cover up these issues.

            Mr. Goodbar is interesting in that he doesn’t have the fear factor that would suppress his sexual energy but he also doesn’t have as big an issue with the loss of control issue.   As a group, Mr. Goodbars are more a balance of the two with a slight lean to the loss of control side.    Keep in mind that one of things that attract women to Mr. Goodbar is that he is a challenge.  Mr. Goodbar has the ability to resist the advances of women.   In other words he has some level of sexual discipline.   Of the four groups Mr. Goodbar has the greatest potential to evolve into the Real Man.  All it takes is a greater development of his will.

 

            The Real Deal about the Will

 

            Many people walk around feeling like they have a strong will.   They will point to their accomplishments or their material possessions or that they can be stubborn.   These same people will have problems with addictions, infidelity, and a host of problems that plague them.  Many stubborn people feel they have a strong will when in reality they may be stubborn because of pride or a false belief imposed on them by outside forces.  The will is the ability to make a decision without coercion from any source whether it is outside factors or inner factors such as emotions and libido.  The vast majority of people make decisions based on greater society, their peers, their emotions, and a host of other factors.  The sad reality is that the overwhelming majority people do not have control over their lives.  The current of life is simply sweeping them along.  The following examples will illustrate my point.

            Donny is a man whose will is asleep.  He dresses according to the latest fad because everybody else is doing it.  Donny constantly gets into bad relationships because they are dictated not by common sense but rather by his lust.   He drives an expensive car he can’t afford because he sees other people with the same car.  He believes almost everything he hears that comes from a source he believes to be authoritative.  Donny never stands out in any crowd because he never does anything apart from the crowd.   Everything Donny does is dictated by outside forces. 

            George has an awakened will.  George dresses according to his personal tastes and he isn’t concerned about the latest fads because he realizes that fads always fade out leaving him with more clothes than he needs.   George always has positive relationships because even though he has a strong sex drive he doesn’t allow it to make his relationship decisions.   He will skip over the woman with the knockout body and take the woman who may be slightly overweight because she will be better for his personal growth.  He picked his car based on reliability and affordability rather than popularity.  George never believes something simply because he read it or heard it from someone claiming to be an authority.  He always checks out information for himself and determines whether it can have positive application in his life.   George always stands out in a crowd because he is not content to blindly follow others.

            The Real Man is the man who has fully developed his will.   There is no partially or little bit to this.   When I say fully I mean fully.  If a man takes actions based on fear he has not fully developed his will. Wayne dreams of starting a business because he can’t stand his job.  Instead of actually starting a business Wayne comes up with several excuses such as keeping the bills paid, job benefits, inability to get a business loan, etc.   All the excuses are superficial.   Wayne doesn’t start a business because he has a fear of failure.   His decision not to start a business is dictated by fear.  

            Another man, Trevor, wants to start a business.   He is not able to do so because instead of taking the steps necessary to get a business started he is busy spending his money recklessly and chasing women.   He can’t figure out why he can’t seem to get going.   Trevor isn’t restrained by fear.   He is confident he can make it in any business.   Trevor’s problem is that he is not disciplined enough to focus on the mundane aspects of starting a business. 

            Steve is a man with a fully developed will.   His wants a business providing health services to people because he feels it’s his life purpose.   He doesn’t have any fear issues and he is very disciplined.  He doesn’t allow outside factors to control his decisions.  

            The will is about freedom.  Freedom to make a choice based on what’s best for one’s self.  This choice isn’t based on emotion because emotions often override common sense and cause us to do things that will be detrimental in the long run.  The divorce courts are full of people who made decisions based on emotions.  The will is about making a decision free from outside coercion such as friends, family, institutions, and inner coercions such as lust or other emotions.  Sometimes our friends and family want us to do things based more on their views and biases as opposed to what is best for ourselves.   A man with a fully developed will is his own man. We all have individual paths to follow.   More than anything else the will is about making the correct decision at the crossroads.

 

            The Crossroads

 

            In the “Real Deal Holyfield” definition of a Real Man I said the following:

            The Real Man is the man who has fully developed his will and is able to make the correct decision at the crossroads.

The crossroads is that the key point in everyone’s life where they will make a decision that will affect the direction and quality of their life until they reach the next crossroads.   Crossroads are both major and minor events with major implications.  Sometimes we are aware of these implications and most often we are not.  Major crossroad events are college graduations, moving to a new city, a marriage ceremony, the birth of a child, the death of a loved one, and other major events in one’s life.   Minor crossroads events can be taking a different path to work or not talking to the person sitting next to you on a train.   All crossroads events are life altering even if a person doesn’t realize it at the time.  The major ones are obvious. Events like college graduations and marriage are new beginnings in people’s lives.   Events like taking a different path to work or not talking to the person next to you on the train are minor but can have major implications.  For example, taking a different path to work may seem minor and nothing eventful may happen in the person’s life for a long time.  If, however, that person took their regular path to work they would have been killed in an auto accident.  By not talking to the person sitting next to them on the train a person may miss out on a potential mate or some other opportunity.  

            It tough to know when one is at a crossroads situation.   It takes some practice and reflection on one’s life.   I would suggest all men and women reading this take the time out to look at the major events in their lives good and bad.  Some of these situations were the crossroads while the rest of the situations resulted from making a poor decision at the crossroads.   People are at the places they are in life because of their decisions at key points in their lives.   People frequently made the wrong decisions in their lives because instead of using their will to make the best decision they allowed outside forces to decide for them.

            With regard to relationships many men make the wrong move at the crossroads.  The vast majority of men make decisions based on their libido as opposed to what’s in their long-term best interest.   Now don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with the libido.  The issue is whether the libido is the master of man or man is the master of the libido.   For example you have two men, Kevin and Calvin.  Kevin is led by his libido when he reaches the crossroads.   He will see a woman with a bomb body and drop everything to chase her.   Kevin’s biggest priority is chasing women.  Everything he does in life is geared to women.  As a result he doesn’t have much going for him otherwise.  A bomb body turns on Calvin as any other man.   Calvin, however, will weigh going after the woman with other considerations in his life.   If going after a particular woman will not interfere with his overall life objective he will precede.  If he feels that a woman will take him out of his life objective he will leave her alone.   By exercising his will Calvin has avoided many of the pitfalls relationships can bring.

            We all come to the crossroads.  These situations involve making a choice.  The choice is the difference between success and failure in any situation.   We are able to make the best choice when we have the will to resist being coerced by emotions, family, friends, or society.   Most of us make poor choices, which lead to lackluster lives.   The only way to truly succeed in life is to develop the ability to make choices free of coercion.  

            Let’s Get Real  

            It’s time for men in society to develop their will.  With society in the state that it’s in we cannot have men who are content to lead mediocre lives.   It’s the time for leaders, and not followers.  It’s the time for heroes who are going correct the ills of society starting from their corner of it.   It’s time for men who are going to make a difference.  It’s time to get real.  Many men will say that they are the Real Man but when they reach the crossroads their actions do not back up their words.  It’s time to walk the walk.

 


         Click here to order a signed copy of Sexual Chemistry.
0 Comments

That Street Harassment Thing

11/9/2014

4 Comments

 
            Social media has been abuzz lately over the video of the young woman walking through the streets of New York and getting catcalled over 100 times.   At least that’s what we’re told since apparently there was some selective editing done.   Once again the subject of street harassment has been brought front and center for people to express to moral outrage over.   Me being me I have looked at the issue and want to share my perspective.

            The main issue with street harassment is NOT that it happens.   The real issue is that women are being harassed are getting attention from men that they do not find ATTRACTIVE.   If one pays attention to the commentators and videos complaining about harassment the main issue is that women are getting UNWANTED attention from CERTAIN men.    I don’t say this lightly.   When I speak I do so based on actual life experiences.   Let me share some things.

            Back in the nineties when I worked in downtown Washington, DC, I used to meet women in the streets a lot.   A whole lot.   I got phone numbers, dates, and sex from women I met initially on the street.   Even in my books I talk about how to meet women on the street.   Now to be clear the way I met women was decidedly different from walking up to a woman saying “hey beautiful,” or even “hello.”    I used to meet to women at either bus stops or subway stations.   Often a woman would strike up a conversation with me while sitting next to me on the bus or train.  Another scenario that happened a lot is that women would simply say “hello” or otherwise just start conversations while I was walking down the street minding my own business.   Even to this day an occasional woman will see me on the street or especially in a mall and say “smile.”   I keep a serious look on my face most of the time.

            It was extremely rare that I initiated a conversation with a woman on the street.   One time I did was in the nineties when I worked near the White House.   I’ll call the woman Celia.   She was tall, about 5’10”, had a pretty face, and big shapely legs.  Shapely legs drive me crazy.   She could literally cause accidents.   It was of the rare times I used real game to connect to a woman.   I was walking by the bus stop when I saw her and I walked past her without saying anything.   I didn’t even looked back.   I just looked at my watch and noted what time she was at the bus stop.   The next day she was there again and I still didn’t say anything.   A few more days went like this.   After a couple of days I walked by and just said “hey” and she responded by saying “hi” and we left it at that.   After a few days of this I stopped and said, “We always say hi to each other.   We should at least know each other’s name.”   We exchanged names.   A few days later phone numbers.  Maybe a month or so later we went out on a date. 

            Now someone may say why I took my time with her.   One I read the situation.  The reason she was at that particular bus stop was that she was constantly getting harassed at the bus stop that was closer to her job.   She was pretty and built like a brickhouse.   The combination is a magnet for catcalling.   I knew that men were constantly hitting on her.  By walking past her without saying anything I did several things.  The most important thing I did was set myself apart from other men.   Then by walking past her I allowed her to get used to my face and to give her a chance to choose me.   I knew she chose me when she would smile when she saw me coming.   Also a very important factor was that I always had on a suit when I walked past her.   This brings me back to a point I mentioned at the beginning of this blog:  The main issue with street harassment is UNWANTED attention from CERTAIN men.

            People who follow my blog and have read my work know I divide the male population into four major categories in terms how women see them.  Two of the categories are select meaning that women will seek them out for relationships.   Two of the categories are non-select in that women generally do not seek them out for relationships.   The two select categories are Mr. Goodbar and the Masked Men.   Goodbars are select for the most part because women find them very good looking.  There are a few exceptions.   Masked Men are men that LOOK successful.   The two non-select categories are the Nice Guys and the Gamesmen.   Nice Guys lack the looks or look of success that will turn a woman on sexually.   The Gamesmen are in the same boat.   Each group of men will interact differently with women on the street.

            Goodbars RARELY say anything to women on the street.    A man in the Goodbar category typically gets harassed by WOMEN in the streets.   Some women are extremely aggressive when they see a man they find physically or sexually attractive.  Ask me how I know.   Goodbars also have to be concerned with gay men hitting on them.    The average Goodbar will ignore all but the most physically attractive women when he is out and about.

            Masked Men are not going to be inclined to say anything to women on the street.   Masked Men are successful men and as a result tend to be elitist.   In the eyes of men commenting on the street harassment issue on social media, blogs, and websites, most of the women complaining are average looking at best.   Masked Men want trophy women.   It’s very rare a successful man will be seen walking around with anything less than a woman who looks a fashion model.   If a Masked Man is even on the street they will about business and will generally ignore most of the women around them.  

            Nice Guys are generally not going to say anything to women on the street.   Nice Guys as a group are not that aggressive.   They will generally be too shy to approach.   At most they may look, but the average woman wouldn’t feel threatened.   Nice Guys are the invisible men of the dating world.   Women simply don’t see them.

            Now those Gamesmen.   Any real discussion about street harassment has to focus on them.   Every single man I have seen in a street harassment video has been a Gamesmen.   I can tell this even in cases where the faces are blurred.   Goodbars will tend to have superior body builds.   Masked Men will be dressed well.   Nice Guys will be dressed plainly.   Now please understand what I mean when say Gamesman.   The Gamesman is non-select.   He doesn’t have the looks or the money to attract women.   He would normally be invisible to women like the Nice Guy except for one key factor:  he is aggressive.   At some point in his life the Gamesman realized that the only way he was going to fulfill his sexual needs was by being aggressive in his dealings with women.   Formally or informally he had to learn some game.   One aspect of that game is to approach as many women as possible.

            Most women are going to reject the Gamesman.   He knows that and is quite frankly cool with that scenario.   The Gamesman if nothing else has a thick skin.   It’s part of the game.   Here’s the thing.   Say a Gamesman says hi to twenty five women in a single day.   Twenty Two of them are annoyed beyond belief and will complain about being harassed.   Two of the women will engage him because it’s easier and some women do like the game.   One woman will give him her phone number because the Gamesman may be the only man to show her any attention.   Guess what.   Twenty four women rejected the Gamesman but in his eyes he wins because one gave him her number.   The Gamesman repeats this process for a month and he will end up with five to ten serious prospects.   There are Goodbars and Masked Men who don’t have that many prospects in a month.

            Gamesmen are going to keep talking to women in the street because in their eyes it works.  Bottom line.    Now there are extreme cases where a woman’s life can be in danger.   People will say we have to criminalize street harassment for that reason.   Okay let’s say we criminalize it.   Has criminalizing rape which is a way worst crime stopped it?   Has criminalizing child molestation stopped it?   Even if street harassment was criminalized, which incidentally some of it is anyway as touching somebody can be considered an assault, would that stop it?   A man has more to gain than to lose by hitting on women in the street.   Even if the laws are on the books how often would they be enforced?   Say a woman feels harassed, she calls the police, and goes back to the spot and finds the man she feels harassed her.   Without witnesses or a cell phone recording it’s just one person’s word against another.   Police will not be inclined to arrest someone without evidence that a crime has been committed.  Also the possibility exists that someone could be falsely accused of harassment.   The accused could charge the accuser with slander and maybe libel as well.   As someone with experience in the court system, I can say that prosecutors will not want to be bothered with these types of cases.  

            Now to be clear I’m not saying just ignore street harassment.   I personally believe that men should limit who they talk to on the street anyway.   If a woman isn’t giving a man a blatant invitation such as a smile or she initiates the conversation he should just leave her alone.   Too many men are gassing up the heads of basic women and it really isn’t worth the trouble.   That’s what men need to do.   Women on the other hand need to examine their own actions in encouraging street harassment.  I don’t mean in terms of how they dress.  Women need to look at their selection criteria.   Boys evolve into Gamesmen because they no longer want to be invisible.   The only way for them not to be invisible is for women to change their criteria.

            Now I know women feel justified in wanting what they want.   Many women feel entitled to have that pretty boy or bad boy with the killer body.  Women feel entitled to successful men.   What I have seen over the years are attempts to shame men into engaging with less than desirable women.   One thing is shaming men into dating fat women.   Even though there are men who are genuinely attracted to larger women most really are not.   This is especially the case with Goodbars and Masked Men.   Yet many women feel like a man should want a less than desirable woman.   Friends and family will say, “She’s so nice though.”   Many men can attest to feeling this type of pressure.   Let’s turn this around.  There’s no real pressure on a woman to take a less than desirable man.   The complaints about the “shortage of good men” is really about the shortage of desirable men.   The largest category of men are the Gamesmen.    If women gave Gamesmen that same opportunity that they want Goodbars and Masked Men to give basic women I guarantee the incidents of street harassment would go down immensely.   All these men really want is a loving relationship.   Most of them are good loyal men.   No they not fine nor are they likely to become millionaires.   At the same time the women rejecting them are not fine nor are likely to be millionaires.      In many ways women are rejecting men who are their matches.

            Now let me be VERY clear.  I’m not saying women need to respond to men on the street.   Women do need to pay more attention to men in more proper venues such as churches, gatherings, cultural festivals, or wherever men and women gather.   Another good way is good old fashioned personal introductions.   If a man should give unattractive woman a chance, a woman should do the same.   Sometimes people find diamonds in the rough. 

            The only way to truly deal with street harassment is to change the relationship culture as it exists now.   Anything else is simply a waste of time and energy.

4 Comments

A Woman's True Desire

11/2/2014

3 Comments

 
            It seems nearly every week there is a story in the media about a female teacher getting into trouble for having sex with a male student.   I’m not going to get into whether the sex is right or wrong.  My only position is that it happens.   For every incident that is reported in the media there are hundreds that are happening every day.   For many young teenaged boys having sex with a hot teacher is a fantasy.   Now what’s interesting about the women who get caught is that when you look at their pictures you can’t help but think that they can get a handsome man with money.  Indeed many of these women will have husbands or at least boyfriends.   Like many things there is more to this issue of older women having sex with younger boys.   We have to go deeper on this one.

            I’m going to be honest with y’all.  I don’t personally see the big deal.   Older women going for young teenaged boys has been happening for a very long time.   When I was a teenager I had brief relationships with a couple of women older than me.  Even when I was in my early twenties I attracted the attention of older women.   One even “kidnapped” me.  Actually that happened a couple of times.  Yeah, that’s yet another book.  Anyway what was telling was not so much I attracted these women but what I had going on for me at the time.

            During my teenaged years and early twenties women probably didn’t see me as Mr. Goodbar.   I was nerdier in my appearance and demeanor.   I still had some cool points to me but I didn’t have the muscles or the fly clothes.   I used to wear these big glasses that covered half my face.   I definitely didn’t use what some would consider game.   Yes I could approach women and talk to them with ease but in each case these older women approached me.  I didn’t have money or status.  I didn’t even have a car.  I really hadn’t grown into my looks.  One older woman said I needed to lose that “baby fat” around my face.   Apparently the baby fat didn’t stop her from kissing me.  The way my overall presentation was at the time I shouldn’t have got any attention, let alone the attention of sexy older women.   At least according to conventional wisdom.  That’s another thing, the women I got attention from were the slim to shapely women who could easily get better looking men with money.   Some of them did have men.  

            Now someone reading this will either say I had some type of game or I’m lying.   I’m doing neither.   Think about something with these teachers getting with younger boys.   We can expand that to include older women who will have sex with their young neighbor who cuts their grass.   All mothers who have teenaged boys KNOW exactly who the cougars are in their neighborhoods.   Fuck the politically correct convo let’s get into some raw game here.   Women know how other women are and though they may not call other women on their bullshit in public forums or social media they know how some get down.   A normal mother is going to be protective of her baby boy and can take one look at a friendly neighbor and know the woman is already scheming on her son.   Many men think they know game.  Women are the game.   That’s why I have little sympathy when a woman says a man played them.    All that happened was that a man outplayed them at their own game.   Let me get off this tangent though.

            Here’s the thing.   There is too much misinformation floating around out there with regards to women’s sexuality and their desires.    The biggest single problem is that too many men believe that women don’t want to have sex as much as men.   One of the reasons for this the influence of Abrahamic religions on most of the world particularly Christianity and Islam.    Both religions fairly suppress a woman’s sexuality, especially some strains of Islam.   The Christian West is only a little bit better.    The views about a woman’s sexuality affect the overall culture of a society to the point where even if someone is an atheist their sexual views still reflect those of religious practioners.    Bottom line is that many men don’t understand a woman’s sexual nature.  

            A WOMAN’S SEXUAL DESIRE IS GREATER THAN A MAN’S.

            During the act of actual sexual intercourse the overwhelming majority of men according to published reports and private conversations with women are minute men.    A man who can go twenty minutes is actually extraordinary.  The average time is around seven minutes.   The average man once he has sex regardless of the time has to rest once he has ejaculated.    Women on the other hand can go for hours.   Not only can they go for hours but they can do so with multiple partners.    Let’s get raw.

            There are women out there who have had “trains” run on them.    For those who didn’t grow up in an urban environment, “running a train” is when a woman will have sex with multiple men one after the other.   In some cases these are gang rapes.   I’m not talking about that heinous crime.   I’m talking about cases where a woman will CONSCIOUSLY take on multiple partners.   There are even videos on amateur porn sites which show a woman having a train run on her.    Not saying it’s right or wrong, it just is.   The bottom line is that the average woman can have sex for hours.   Now the average woman isn’t going to be inclined to have a train run on her, but she will at least have a strong desire to be sexually satisfied.    So what does this have to do with older women going after younger boys?

            On a basic level the women are looking for satisfying sex.   The most important sexual skill for a man is simply duration.   When a woman is evaluating the sexual worthiness of a man one of the main things she is looking for is whether he can last long.    The one thing the teenaged boy brings to the table is vitality.   Just like a girl is at her sexual peak as a teenager the boy is at his sexual peak.   When it comes to sex women aren’t tripping over money.   Money doesn’t mean anything once the clothes comes off and two people are in the act of sexual intercourse.   So a man makes a million dollars and owns two luxury cars and a big house.  Sexually a woman wants to know if he can keep a firm stroke up for 30 minutes preferably longer.   Many men with money and status can’t do this.   Many trophy wives have affairs.

            Even a man with a handsome face and muscular body may not turn on many women.   Let me clarify this because I know this statement may seem to contradict much of what I write.   In GENERAL a man will get more attention from women with handsome face and muscular body.   If a man is having trouble with women the smartest thing for him to do is change his facial grooming and either put on muscles or lose weight.   That doesn’t always seal the deal though.   There are plenty of handsome, muscular men out there who don’t attract the number of women sexually someone thinks they would.   At best these men may get a wife or girlfriend who will still cheat on them or maybe a sidepiece or two.   The men who may have ten or more women in rotation are not always the most handsome or muscular.

            Many men out there use what they consider “game” to get women.   Let’s keep it one hundred.   Women see through a man’s games.   What men learn through a book, website or seminars women have been learning since they were babies.   That baby girl learned that when she cried or laughed a certain way this big person she would eventually call daddy would respond to her.   That’s where the manipulation started.   Then she watches her mother manipulate men for different things.   As she grows up she finds that if she dresses and behaves a certain way boys will do things in her favor.   My point is that any game a man has pales in comparison to a woman’s games.   Women see through a man’s games but play along because of lack of options.   Gamesmen are not the Goodbars and Masked Men that women want.   Women see these men as lames, clowns, or even simps.   An irony is that these men think they are on top of the game.    Men like this can only win by wearing a woman down.   A very significant number of women are not with the man they want to be with but rather the man who was the most persistent in chasing them.  

            What women ultimately want is the man or in many cases who is most sexually desirable to them.   That man is not always going to be the best looking or most muscular.   He may not have money or status.   In the case of teenaged boys, he will not have enough life experience to have that thing called game.   What women will look for is that man who looks like he can satisfy them in the bedroom.  The man or boy who looks like he can fuck will beat out the money man, the pretty boy, the muscle head, and the gamer.  

            I challenge anyone to show me otherwise.

 

 

3 Comments

Sexual Shadow World

10/26/2014

0 Comments

 
            I write a lot of things regarding male/female relationships that either doesn’t make sense to people or seems like I don’t know what I’m talking about.   There’s a reason for that.   The reason is one of perspective.   Most people can only relate to things that match their own worldview.   Indeed most people will only seek out information that validates their perspectives.   If something doesn’t validate their perspective they tend to reject the information.   That’s the reason why despite all of the books, seminars, coaches, and bloggers out there it seems like relationships are getting worse and not better.   Most commentators, including professionals, have only seen a part of the picture and not the whole thing.   There were some incidents many years ago that illustrate my point.

            When I first published my books I did a lot of seminars.   I remember two in particular that stand out because of the contrasts between the participants.   The first seminar was with a group of Black professionals.  The organizers of the seminar had read my book, Nice Guys and Players, and had pulled my character types out for role play among the participants.   They were scary spot on acting out the characters of the Nice Guy, Gamesman, and Masked Man.   When they got to Mr. Goodbar the characterization was off.  By miles.   An interesting thing happened.   When the discussion was focused on the first three types the conversation was lively even heated.   When I talked about Mr. Goodbar the place was quiet.  You could literally hear a pin drop.   The concept of a man who had women walk up and drop their panties was alien to most people of the room.  Well, except for the Goodbar in the corner working his magic on a Buppie with the phat ass booty.  He looked at me, gave me a head nod, and went back to work.   Like most things I’ve encountered in life I placed the moment in a mental file cabinet to pull out and think about later.

            The second incident came a few years later.   I was doing a seminar with some true to the game thugs.   These were men convicted of minor crimes and were only sitting down with me because a Judge didn’t leave them any choice in the matter.   An interesting thing happened.  Usually when I discussed my books and ideas with groups the information would be received with disbelief and at times ridiculed because it went against the belief systems of seminar participants.   At times I thought maybe I was the one who was off.   Then I come across a group of real thugs.   An interesting thing happened.   After a little bit of an introduction to my books these men opened up about their experiences and told me the contents of my books.   Not only did they know about Mr. Goodbar they were Mr. Goodbar.   These men were telling me some things that quite frankly a person would be hard-pressed to find a mention of in any form of media.  

            See here’s the thing.   In a previous blog I talked about men and women having two faces, a social face and a sexual face.   The social face is the one everyone sees.   That’s the face with the business suit, going to the kids’ soccer games, and being good neighbor by keeping the grass cut.   Most relationship advice, most discussions about Alpha and Beta Males, most conversations about what women want focus on the social faces.   The sexual faces are something completely different.   Socially, a person has a professional job, is a good parent, and neighbor.   They even go to church regularly.   Sexually that person is a swinger who routinely has sex with strangers.   The sexual face is how a person behaves in sexual manner.   A major problem in relationship discussions is that the focus is on social faces.   The whole Alpha Male thing for example is based on a social face.   The Alpha Male is supposedly the take charge, center of attention man who gets all the hot women.   This of course is based on the assessment of what such a man is doing socially.   The man holding court in a bar is only dominating socially.   There may be a few women feeling his vibe but trust me they may never go home with him.    Many socially dominant men are weak behind closed doors.   So why do I say this?

            I’m one of those people who has encountered a WHOLE lot of people in life.   I personally have been acquainted with many alternative sex workers.   We’re talking about Dominatrixes, and Tantric Massage workers.   I’ve also known phone sex workers, sugar babies, true gold diggers, escorts, and strippers.    These women have told me a lot about their clients.   We’re not talking losers living in their mom’s basements playing video games all day.   The women I talked to told me about encounters with men who were SOCIALLY Alpha Males.   Straight up, a dude living in his mom’s basement couldn’t afford most of these women.    It’s funny as hell to me that a whole subculture of men focuses on being the Alpha Males they see socially without knowing anything about the sexual faces of these men.    Let me share some things about myself to give the reader an idea about why I say the things I say.  

            In my early twenties I was where many men pay thousands of dollars to get.   This was back in the late eighties and early nineties.   I was at the top of that thing called game.   I had zero anxiety approaching women.   To use the street language of the time, I had a “smooth rap.”  On top of that my fashion and grooming game was A-1.  I also had the status of being of Black man with a degree who was pursuing a post graduate degree.   The only real weakness in my game was my weight.   Though I’m a natural mesomorph, if I don’t work out consistently I would gain weight.   The good thing about me gaining weight is that my body tends to gain evenly and not just in one area such as my stomach.   Even though I had extra weight on I carried it very well.   At most my weight gave me an average physical appearance which I was able to compensate for by having a smooth rap and wicked fashion game, especially with my shoes.  

            With my game at the time I was able to date and have sex with some very attractive and shapely women.   Now I had still had to put in some work to woo the women.   Nobody was sleeping with me on the first date, maybe fourth or fifth date.   Of course there were some rejections.  Also I did hear the words, “Let’s just be friends.”   There were plenty of women in what I call the “Not Sure Zone.”   Women in that zone will have a little sexual attraction for a man but not enough to simply drop her panties.   A man has to work for a woman in that zone.  Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he don’t.   Where I was at the time I thought I was at the top of the game.   I was getting a LOT of play from attractive women primarily in the six to eight range.   Even a few Nines and Tens showed some interest.   Then around 1991 I entered the Sexual Shadow World and had my mind blown.

            I had started running in the spring of 1990 because a Nine didn’t want to have sex with me because of my weight.   I was weighing about 230 and quite frankly getting a little sloppy.   During that summer my weight came down to about 215 and to be honest I didn’t think anything of it.   I was getting pretty much the same play I was getting before from women in the six to eight range.   Then some interesting things happened to take everything to a different level.

            The first was that I was in the application process for a certain prominent federal law enforcement agency.   I had passed the panel interviews and now had to prepare to pass a physical fitness test.   I was required to do a certain number of pushups, sit-ups, and to be able to run 2 miles under 16 minutes.   So instead of jogging I had to start running.   I had to train more intensely.  So starting in the winter of 1990 until the summer of 1991 I dropped even more weight.   I went down to 190 pounds of lean muscle mass.  I passed the test with flying colors.  I was walking around at my optimal physique as the sit-ups had developed my abs and the pushups had developed my arms and chest.   Women started going crazy over my body to the point where I would ROUTINELY get approached on the street.   Even had some young girls yell out their car windows while I was walking on the street.   So I had a body that was attracting women to me.   That was one part of the equation.   The second part came from some unique individuals. 

            In the summer of 1991 I encountered some sex workers.   For legal reasons I can’t get into the particulars but during that summer I learned a lot about the inner sexual nature of women.   It was some things not discussed in public and still isn’t.   On the internet now there are some men who called themselves “Red Pill” because they think they know the sexual nature of women.   They don’t and they’re deluded.   They’ve barely scratched the surface.  They don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.    Even some men who get a lot of sex don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.   But I digress.

            These sex workers gave me a real education.   I already knew a lot from women I had been around as a child but these women took me to a new level.   There were also one older man who gave me some insight.   One of the reasons I don’t hold what is taught as game on the internet in high regard is because of that man.   I’ll call the man James.   James was an older Jamaican who had a scary insight into how people behaved psychologically.   He could look at someone and tell you what’s going on with them.   He would mess with people’s heads just to pass the time.   He was especially adept at fucking or as he said “getting some punanny.”   He was talking about setting up a 900 line which was popular back then to tell men how to bring a woman to orgasm.   He was actually the first man I had met who was talking about satisfying women sexually.  Most men fail because they don’t look like they can or even care about getting a woman to orgasm.  

            The combination of the sex workers and James took me into the Sexual Shadow World.   In that world Mr. Goodbar is the Alpha Male.   Yet in the social world the same man may be a minimum wage worker or shy in a crowd.    In the Sexual Shadow World the men at the top of the pyramid are not the tall good looking men with status or game.   Physical appearance is important, indeed of supreme importance but not in the classic way that is important in the social world.   First of all a man’s face doesn’t matter as much.   In the Sexual Shadow World a good looking face is a bonus but not a necessity.   If one takes an honest look at the SEXUALLY attractive people they are rarely very physically attractive in the face.   There are exceptions but in general SEXUALLY attractive people have average faces.   Don’t believe me?  Take a real good look at the men and women who turn on people sexually.   All they have in common are great bodies.   Many are buttafaces.   A good looking face is more important for in the social world.   When it comes down to sex, a man just needs a hot body, a decent size dick, and some fair sexual skills.  

            In this case physical appearance is more about the body, the print, and how the man moves which gives the woman a clue about how he would be in bed.   See most of what’s in the media is focused on what women want socially.   The key to a woman is what type of man she lusts for.   A woman may publically say she wants a man who’s tall, with a good looking face, with status and a decent body.    Many women when presented with what they say they want may still reject the man.   The reason is that they don’t lust the man.  Indeed when many women say they love a man they are really saying they lust him.   Socially a woman may want that classic good looking man who seems dominant.   Sexually she wants that rough looking man with hard body and big dick who would pound her pussy like it stole something. 

            A key component to the Nice Guys and Players Philosophy is to be a man who can satisfy a woman’s social needs AND her sexual needs.   Despite the talk about there being a shortage of men many women who are even reasonably attractive have two men in their lives.   The first man is the socially acceptable boyfriend or husband.   The first man takes her out, spends money on her, and provides emotional support.   He is acceptable to her friends and family.  In many cases he is considered an Alpha Male.   The second man is one nobody knows about.   His only purpose is to satisfy her lust.   He might not be classically handsome, he may be broke, and truth be told not even have what is commonly considered game.   He can fuck though. Well.

            Now I’m not talking about theory here.   During the period I lived in the Sexual Shadow World I would say the OVERWELMING majority of women I dealt with had boyfriends.   As far as I know I didn’t mess with any women with husbands.  I say as far as I know because women lie more than men.  I did know some men who didn’t have a problem with fucking another man’s wife.  I seriously consider women hypocrites when they talk about cheating men.   When women are in lust they don’t give a fuck.  A woman will fuck her best friend and sister’s husbands in a threesome if she lusts them.   They will find a rationalization to satisfy their lust.   It wasn’t certain trashy women either cheating either.  It was something that crossed class lines and even subculture.   I’ve dealt with church girls, nerd girls, and princesses who cheated on their men.  Those goody-goody girls can be the worse.  The Sexual Shadow World is where that perfect Ten will do the freaky-freaky while tied up.  

            Here’s the thing.   Many men reject what I tell them because it goes against CONVENTIONAL wisdom.   There are men out there who think if they just get some plastic surgery all of a sudden they’ll get hot woman.   There are men who think if they behave in a dominant manner the women will drop their panties.   There are men learning game in their attempts to get hot women or any women.   The only thing a man needs to do is develop himself to the point where a woman will LOOK at him and say to herself, “he can get it.”   At the point the man needs to be present enough to pick up on her SEXUAL desire.  He then needs to be smart enough not to say something stupid and give what one beautiful woman once said, “Instant dryness.”

            The only game is lust.   If a man wants more and better women he needs to develop his overall physical appearance so that it generates lust.   The man also has KNOW that women want sex as much as men.  Indeed the truth is the more sexually attractive a woman is the more they will choose a man based on pure lust.  

            I just gave y’all some raw game.  I wonder who will pick up on it.   Hit up me here.

            Peace!

 

 

0 Comments

September 21st, 2014

9/21/2014

2 Comments

 
2 Comments

The Reality of Chasing Mr. Goodbar

8/24/2014

0 Comments

 
            In my writings and blogs I paint a relatively benign picture of Mr. Goodbar.  I’m also writing about him from a male and personal point of view.   There is a dark side to Mr. Goodbar that many women have and will experience.   This dark side is more the reality than a happily ever after ending.   Many women may chase Mr. Goodbar but only a few will end up with him.  Most women will get hurt, dogged, and quite frankly emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives.   This isn’t a romance novel where the heroine wins the love of the Alpha Hunk.   The reality is a woman crying by herself, or with girlfriends wondering why Goodbar won’t return her texts.

            This is what I see out here as far as sexual dynamics.   Women are complaining about a shortage of “good men.”   Yet when challenged these women admit to having good men who are interested in them.  Some of these women are even married to a good man.   The women should really just say that they are looking for a man who deliver what a mentor of mine calls “Romantic Intoxication.”   

            Romantic Intoxication is the state of euphoria a woman feels when she is “in love.”   This euphoria comes from a combination of lust and the hormones women release when they really feel good.   Many mistake these feelings for love when it is really no different from a man giving a woman a highly potent drug.   Women don’t really love the man but rather the feeling they get from being with the man.   If women could get the same euphoric feeling from hugging a pumpkin, we would see books and movies with titles like “Addicted to Pumpkin” and “Fifty Shades of Pumpkin.”   Mr. Goodbar’s real secret is that he is skilled at inducing a state of euphoria in women.   That’s it.   Women place men into different categories according to their ability to romantically intoxicate.  

            Mr. Goodbar is at the top of pyramid because of his combination of looks, personality, and sex appeal.   His greatest skill, however, is that he has a highly developed understanding of women.  I devote a couple of chapters to this in my book, Nice Guys and Players, the chapters are called “An Understanding of Women,” and “Sexual Chemistry.”   A man can improve his success with women just from reading those chapters.    Anyway, Mr. Goodbar is like a piece of chocolate or an ice cream sundae.  Women want to indulge as much as possible.

            The Masked Man doesn’t deliver the same level of intoxication based on looks and raw sex appeal.  Masked Men may look good but because they are successful they tend to be more focused on making their money which means they are more serious minded.  Serious minded men are not going to approach a woman whispering sweet nothings and promising a good time.   Women tend to be attracted to Masked Men because of their money and stability.   Mr. Goodbar may be sexy and all but many are also living in their mother’s basement and men who are caught up in having sex with a lot of women tend not to be as focused on making a lot of money.   There are exceptions but many Mr. Goodbars are just sexual playthings for many women.   When women want grown men they tend to go for the Masked Men.   That’s a whole other set of issues I’ll get into with another blog.

            Gamesmen and Nice Guys are non-select because they don’t give women that state of euphoria.   That’s why women can be around a man who wants them, adores them, and has real love for them and they will put the men into the dreaded friend zone.   Some women may still deal with non-select men for lack of better options but will treat these men poorly.   These men usually get dropped or cheated on as soon as Mr. Goodbar returns the text.   Yet another blog. 

            Now I’ve observed that many women have no problem chasing Mr. Goodbar.  Some will even argue that they are entitled to having these sexy men.    What’s not being talked about how Mr. Goodbar truly views these women.  This shit gets deep when you think about it.  A woman will cheat on her hardworking, devoted, nice man with Mr. Goodbar and then have the nerve to justify it.   Her girlfriends will support her choices.   I’ve seen cases where even her husband will support her.  Now the woman is all happy.  She’s having her multiple orgasms, walking around fully in that state of romantic intoxication.   All of sudden, she gets real sad.   Mr. Goodbar has moved on to greener, and quite frankly, slimmer pastures.   The woman is distraught, maybe on suicide watch as her girlfriends (and sometimes husband) try to console her.   Mr. Goodbar on the other hand simply doesn’t give a fuck.

            Here’s the reality of Mr. Goodbar.   He has so many women chasing him, offering him sex and money, making it easy for him to the point that he can be deal with women on his terms.   The most common scenario is that when Mr. Goodbar tires of a woman he dismisses her.  Kind of like a maid.   If he is relatively nice he may tell her.  Most just stop calling or texting.    MOST women cannot hold Goodbar’s attention.  

            One major issue I see in this culture’s sexual dynamics is that most women feel like they are more sexually desirable than they actually are.   Women feel like if they are in halfway decent shape, have a decent face, nice clothes, and some material things that they should get the top shelf men.   Really their heads have been gassed by Gamesmen and Nice Guys.   Mr. Goodbar really sees average looking women as merely physical gratification, a mere notch above masturbation.  

            Many women for whatever reason don’t get the concept that men can be picky too.   I see these TV specials and articles with women talking about how wonderful they are and how come men can’t see this.  The irony is that some men do see how wonderful they are but women put these men into the friend zone.   Mr. Goodbar has all types of women coming at him.   He can afford to be picky.   Like any normal heterosexual man he is going to be moved by the woman who can get his dick the hardest.   So if he has a choice between the pretty fitness chick with the flat stomach and “dat ass” and the Plain Jane with twenty extra pounds around her stomach who do you think he is going to choose?   Keep in mind that beautiful women with great bodies want to feel that euphoria as well as any woman.  Indeed they will feel it more because they are in better shape.

            Oops I just gave away a great game secret. 

            Some women know this so when they deal with Goodbar they know they have to make it easier.   A Plain Jane knows that she can’t insist on Goodbar taking her on an expensive date because he has zero incentive to do so.   She may have to tell him straight up she’ll suck his dick or pay his way on the date.  Some may buy Goodbar some clothes or let him drive their cars.   Plain Janes are at the mercy of Goodbar.   A few may have to allow Goodbar to do things sexually with them that they would slap another man for even thinking about.   Even with all of that Goodbar will still come and goes as he pleases.   The number of women in arrangements like this is actually quite high.    

            There are many women who initiate divorce from their good men in order to get with Goodbar.   Then they end up getting their hearts broken when Goodbar dogs them out.  The lucky ones get to go back to their husbands.   The rest get screwed because their husbands have enough self-respect to kick them to the curb.

            Women really need to think about their choices.   Now some women get mad when a man tells them they need to look at their choices.  I say this though.  Women don’t have to heed what myself or any other man says.    Go ahead and do you.   See understand that men have a selection criteria as well.   The top thing on that criteria is physical appearance.   The second thing is personality.   The only thing that might make a man relax his physical requirements is a great personality and that’s usually only the case when the man is more emotionally mature.   Even those mature men still like “dat ass.”   But I digress.

            The reality of Mr. Goodbar is that MOST women will never have a shot at him.   He’s a fantasy figure.  The only women who have any sort of chance of winning Mr. Goodbar are the most physically attractive women.   And that’s usually when Goodbar is older and ready to settle down.   See the movies, romance novels, and comedians turned relationship experts got most women thinking they have a chance.   Even the women who do get with Mr. Goodbar are likely to have their feelings hurt and will deal with the repercussions for the rest of their lives.   A few women may even take their own lives.  

            Women have to let go of romantic illusions and start facing reality.

0 Comments

July 13th, 2014

7/13/2014

0 Comments

 
0 Comments

    Archives

    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013

    Categories

    All
    50 Cent
    90 Day Rule
    9-5
    9 - 5 Job
    Abundance Mindset
    Acculturated Prostitution
    Adinkra
    Adonis
    African American
    AKAs
    Aliens
    Allah
    Alonzo Harris
    Alpha Fux
    Alpha Hunk
    Alpha Males
    Amanmere
    Amazons
    Amish
    Anacostia
    Andrew Carnegie
    Animal Rights
    Apex Predator
    A Player's Eyes
    Apollo 13
    Arousal
    Attractive Women
    Aura
    Ausar Auset Society
    Author
    Average Joe
    Bad Bitches
    Bad Boys
    Bane
    Bangers
    Barbershop
    Barbie
    Barry White
    BBC
    BDSM
    Beautiful Men
    Beautiful Women
    Beauty Industry
    Best Self
    Beta Bux
    Beta Males
    Bible
    Big Handsome Men
    Billy Dee Williams
    Bimbo
    Bi Polar
    Bitter Men
    Black America
    Black Barbie Dolls
    Black Christian
    Black Elite
    Black Men
    Black Professionals
    Black Relationships
    Black Subcultures
    Black Women
    Blame Game
    Blessing
    BMW - Black Man Wokring
    Bodybuilding
    Bodymen
    Body Positivity
    Book Publishing
    Bookstore
    Boris Kudjoe
    Bourgie
    Boyfriend
    Boyfriends
    Brazil
    Buddy
    Buffalo Wings
    Bullying
    Buppie
    Butch Lesbians
    Buttaface
    Cable Box
    Cable TV
    Captain Sav'em
    Caretakers
    Carnal
    Cells
    Champion Road Arena
    Cheating Women
    Chick Magnet
    Chocolate City
    Christian
    Christmas
    Chubby Chasers
    Clark Kent
    Clowns
    Coaching
    Coffee Shop
    Coffer Shop
    College Basketball
    Cologne
    Col. Sanders
    Comic Books
    Complusion
    Conscious Brothas
    Content Creators
    Cool Dudes
    Counterfeit Persona
    Coyote
    Craft
    Creep
    Cuddling
    CW Network
    Danish Women
    Dark Girls
    Dating
    Dating Coach
    Day Job
    Deltas
    Demographics
    Demon Lovers
    Denver Broncos
    Denzel Washington
    Depression
    Destiny
    Dexter
    Dexter Goodbar
    Dick
    Dimes
    Divine Man
    Domestic Violence
    Dominatrix
    Dominican Republic
    Dominic Republic
    Donald Trump
    Do Right Man
    Do Right Men
    Eagle
    Earl Nightingale
    Early Christianity
    Earned Income Credit
    Easter
    E-books
    Educated Black Men
    Education
    Edutainment
    Ego
    Elites
    Energy Drink
    Entitlement
    Entrepreneur
    Esoteric
    Evolution
    Exercise
    Expo
    Failure
    Faith
    False Beliefs
    Fashion Industry
    Fasting
    Fathers
    Father's Day
    Federal Law Enforcement
    Feminism
    Feminist Porn
    Feminists
    Feng Shui
    Fetish
    Filet Mignon
    Fine Men
    Fitness
    Fix My Life
    Food Services
    Foshoenergywork.com
    Four Weddings
    Franchise
    Freak
    Friday Night Tykes
    Friend Zone
    Game
    Gamesman
    Gamesmen
    Games Women Play
    General Patton
    Genetically Modified
    Genetic Alpha Male
    Genetic Beta Male
    George Subira
    Gifted
    Gifts
    Gigolo
    Global Domination
    Goal Setting
    God
    God Hand
    Gold Diggers
    Golden Rule
    Goodbar Clans
    Good Black Men
    Good Girls
    Good Girls And Bad Boys
    Good Goody Girl
    Good Guys
    Good Looking Men
    Good Men
    Government Job
    Gratitude
    Grown Women
    Gye Nyame
    Gym
    Gym Sales
    Healer
    Healing
    Health
    Health Club
    Heart
    Heru
    Himbo
    Holiday Season
    Holistic Living
    Holy Men
    Honesty
    Honeymooners
    Hot Women
    House Of The Man
    Humility
    Hunter
    Husband
    Husbands
    Huslter
    Hustler
    Hyper Capitalism
    Hypergamy
    Icon
    Idris Elba
    Illuminati
    Imhotep
    Incels
    Independent Women
    Inferior Man
    Infidelity
    Intellectual
    Internet Radio
    Invisible Men
    Involuntary Celibacy
    IQ
    Iwa Pele
    Iyanla Vanzant
    Jamaican Restaurant
    Jay Williams
    Jazz
    Jeremy-meeks
    Jesus
    Jewelry Store
    Joe Thomas Sr.
    Joy
    Jr.
    Jujumama
    Kemetic
    Kentucky
    Kentucky Fried Chicken
    Kenya K. Stevens
    Knowledge
    Kwanza
    L.A. Banks
    LaCoste
    Ladies' Man
    Lames
    Leslie Ersdaile Banks
    LGBT
    Life Coach
    Life Purpose
    Little Black Book
    Little Girls
    Loneliness
    Lookers
    Looks
    Lothario
    Lottery Mentality
    Loverman
    Lover Of Many Women
    Macks
    Magic Mike
    Male Dating Advice Industry
    Male Exotic Dancers
    Male-freaks
    Male Model
    Male Strippers
    Mandingo
    Marine
    Marriage Counselor
    Masculine Self Development
    Masked Man
    Masked Men
    Massage
    Maury Show
    Media
    Medicine Black Elk
    Meeting Attractive Women
    Meeting Beautiful Women
    Men's Clothing Store
    Mental Health
    Mentors
    Merchandizer
    Mesomorph
    Metaphysical
    Metu Neter
    Michael Baisden
    MLM
    Moment Of Clarity
    Monetize
    Money Management
    Money Men
    Moses
    Motivation
    Movie Scripts
    Mr. Goodbar
    Mr. Right
    Muhammed
    Muslim
    Napoleon Hill
    NASA
    Natural Blueprint
    Natural Hair Show
    Negro Bed Wenches
    Netflix And Chill
    New England Patriots
    New Year's Eve
    New Year's Resolution
    Nice Guys
    Nice-guys
    Nice Guys And Players
    Non-Select Men
    Nursing Home
    Okomfo Anokye
    Oldest College Football Player
    Olympian
    Omari Hardwick
    Omar-little
    Paper Route
    Parable Of The Talents
    Passion
    Paternity-testing
    Patriarchy
    Peacocking
    Pennsylvania Dutch
    Personality-disorder
    Phobias
    Pickup-artist
    Pimp
    Plainjane
    Plain-jane
    Players
    Playstation
    Polo
    Polyamorous
    Polyarmory
    Poon-hound
    Popeye
    Porsche
    Post-office
    Poverty-mindset
    Power
    Power-compeny
    Power-tv-show
    Prettyboys
    Pretty-boys
    Prettyricky
    Pretty-ricky
    Print-on-demand
    Prison-body
    Pua
    Public-access
    Pusherman
    Queen-of-spades
    Racism
    Rasta
    Raw-game
    Rbg
    Real-man
    Red-pill
    Relationship-experts
    Relationships
    Relationship-seminars
    Religion
    Resilience
    Responsible-men
    Restaurant
    Reverent-intelligentsians
    Revolution
    Rico-suave
    Right-attitude
    Rites Of Passage
    Rocks
    Romance
    Romance-novels
    Romanticintoxication
    Romantic-intoxication
    Rom Wills
    Rom-wills
    Running-a-train
    Russell-price
    Russians
    Sales
    Sales-commission
    Salesmen
    Samurai
    Scandinavian-women
    Schizophrenia
    School-shootings
    Sea-turtle
    Seduction
    Select-men
    Self-love
    Sellout
    Seminars
    Senior-services
    Sensual-bohemian
    Sensual-bohemians
    Sex
    Sex-abuse
    Sex-addiction
    Sex-tourism
    Sexual-charisma
    Sexualchemistry
    Sexual-chemistry
    Sexuality
    Sexual-magnetism
    Sexualpresence
    Sexual-presence
    Sexual-shadow-world
    Sexual-subculture
    Sex-with-students
    Sexy-woman
    Sexy-women
    Shallow-hal
    Shamans
    Shaming-tactics
    Shango
    Shantam-nityama
    Shophar
    Short-story
    Side-hustle
    Side-job
    Simps
    Singer
    Skits
    Slayers
    Smartphones
    Smart-phones
    Smart-women
    Smith-machine
    Social-class
    Socialintelligence
    Solitude
    Solstice
    Spiraling
    Spirit Of Man
    Spiritual-development
    Spiritual-path
    Spring-cleaning
    Starbucks
    Starting-from-zero
    Star-trek
    Star-wars
    Steriods
    Steve-harvey
    Steve-walters
    Street-cats
    Street-game
    Street-harassment
    Streetsoldier
    Style-consultant
    Subcultures
    Success
    Successful-men
    Sugar-babies
    Sugar-daddy
    Sunday-morning-podcast
    Sunday-morning-simulcast-with-rom-wills
    Superior Man
    Swag
    Swag-cats
    Swingers
    Talent
    Talent-agent
    Tantra
    Tantra-brothas
    Tattoos
    Tax-refund
    Teddy-bears
    Teen-club
    Thanos
    The-bible
    The-force
    The-house-of-the-man
    The-perfect-man
    Therapy
    The-right-man
    The-sun
    The-universe
    The-wolf
    Think-and-grow-rich
    Third-eye
    Thirsty
    Thoroughs
    Thot
    Thots
    Thugs
    Tiara-harris
    Tipping
    Tithe
    Tom-brady
    Touch-football
    Toxic-people
    Trades
    Training-day
    Trends
    Trophy-women
    Tyler-perry
    Tyra-banks
    Uber
    Upstream
    Validation
    Vampire-huntress-legend
    Vampire-huntress-legends
    Vampires
    Vasectomy
    Vegan
    Vending
    Video-games
    Visualization
    Vitality
    Wall-street-traders
    Warren-moon
    Warrior
    Wastehistime2016
    Wealth
    Webinar
    White-knight
    Why-men-become-dogs
    Winston-churchill
    Wisdom
    Womanizers
    Women
    Workshops
    Writing
    Xfiles
    Yao-nyamekye-morris

    RSS Feed

Copyright 2025 (c) Romuald P. Wills