The following excerpt is from my latest book, "A Player's Eyes." The response to the book has been outstanding. I want to thank all of my supporters. Many have contacted me privately about the chapter in the book titled "Pretty Boy Problems." I included the chapter because many men feel like if they just look good they wouldn't have relationship problems. Yeah a good looking man gets more attention but more attention can sometimes mean more problems.
In my life I have a met a few men who women considered physically attractive above and beyond the rest of the male population. Even other men would look at these guys and say the dudes looked good. Now conventional wisdom would suggest that these men made out like bandits with women. Anybody looking at them would assume they had harems. Naw. The pretty boys I’ve met in my life have either been very monogamous or very single. Yes they had a whole bunch of women lusting after them, in some case even butch lesbians. Lusting after someone is one thing. Actually having sex with that person is another. One thing with Pretty Boys is that they will have trouble because many women are intimidated by them.
Many women are very insecure. They can strut around like Amazons ready to conquer the world and whatnot. They can make a business deal in the morning and then go home to their big expensive houses and whip up a fabulous dinner for themselves to eat while they watch their big screen TVs. Yeah many women are dripping strength and confidence until they meet that drop dead gorgeous man who’s tall and buffed. That same woman who just addressed executives at a board meeting has trouble saying hello to the man as he walks by. If she does speak she’ll stutter and once he walks by she’ll rush home to change her panties because she peed on herself. It’s not that women don’t want Pretty Boys. It’s just that the butterflies are doing the tango in their stomachs. Just like men get anxiety around beautiful women, women get it worse around beautiful men.
Even in situations where a Pretty Boy will take the initiative and approach a woman there are still problems. Even the most beautiful of women really don’t think they’re beautiful. Some will even think they are ugly. So when a Pretty Boy approaches them the first thing they are thinking is, “Why is this fine man approaching me?” A woman will assess that man’s looks and assume that he already has ten girlfriends. Some women will even reject this man because despite his looks they don’t want to be a part of a harem. This is just one scenario.
Another situation I’ve observed a lot is when a Pretty Boy is in a social group where women have time to check him out. Now they’ll ask about him and may even be in a position to talk to him. They already see he is handsome. They talk to him and find out he is also very intelligent and also has a cool personality. It comes out that the man is single and doesn’t date a lot. What women will do in this situation is start asking, “What’s wrong with him?” In a woman’s mind a fine man should always have a woman or at least some prospects. They may start asking questions to see what’s wrong with him. Something will always be wrong because the dude may look good but he is still human. Some women magnify a small fault into something major. Then there’s the one stigma Pretty Boys have to deal not only from women but from men as well. People will wonder if he is gay.
I’ve heard women just straight up call a very handsome man gay even if he doesn’t show any signs of being a homosexual. Some women even look for it because they are looking for some flaw. This stems from their own insecurity. Men on the other hand are just jealous because this Pretty Boy is typically getting more attention than they are. Many men have a bad habit of putting another man down in front of women. Brotherhood goes out the door when a pretty face, big tits, and a phat ass are involved.
A Pretty Boy will have trouble with women because it takes a while for women to get comfortable around them. For that reason Pretty Boys tend to be monogamous. They tend to either get with an equally beautiful woman or the more average woman that had a chance to click with the personality of a Pretty Boy.
It’s because of the problems that the Pretty Boys face that the men who legitimately have high sex counts tend not to be drop dead good looking. An honest look at the men who get a lot of sex the most common denominator is a better than average body build. These men, the Goodbars, will be considered handsome but it’s not a raw bone structure type of handsome. I thought so at first and said as much in my first book. One thing about me though is that I will change my stance on something when presented with a better perspective. I wrote Nice Guys and Players, back in the late nineties. Since that time I have met and interacted with several high sex count men. These men would be considered above average handsome but their looks were more the result of a conscious cultivation as opposed to winning the genetic lottery. The Goodbars made themselves more handsome. Still, it was the type of handsome that women felt comfortable with. Let me share some wisdom I wrote about in Nice Guys and Players.
In Nice Guys and Players, I mentioned I learned a lot from a buddy I called Jim. I never forget what Jim told me about why beautiful women would always like me. He said, “Rom, beautiful women will always like you because you don’t look better than they do.” That was some powerful wisdom and the reason I never considered myself any more than decent looking. Beautiful women loved my ass to death. I’ve had homely women who would try to play me while model pretty and stripper sexy women would blow up my phone. Why knock what worked? The key with me though was that beautiful women were comfortable enough around me not to be intimidated.
One may wonder why I’m talking about Pretty Boys. It’s not really about the Pretty Boys. The issue is more about men who feel like their genetics work against them. Many men who know that looks matter feel like they are not handsome enough or tall enough to attract beautiful women. Something that is not talked about enough publically is that there is a growing industry for male beauty products and also plastic surgery. I’m not going to knock it but I will say this. Every single man is a Mr. Goodbar to some woman. The facial features that some women may consider ugly on one man are considered beautiful by other women. I’ve met some very beautiful women who stated a preference for men under 6 feet tall. I’ve seen them with the men and I can tell when a woman is really feeling a man. Even with body builds all women don’t want a muscular man. It’s not a case of them settling. Some women prefer slim men. A few like fat men. Many, many women like a man who is somewhere between muscular and fat. Women will say, “Damn he thick!” I know a very beautiful woman who’s so sexy that I’ve seen her put men into trances. One dude made up a poem about her on the spot. She would only mess with men she called ugly. She popped out three kids for her ugly husband.
Now someone may say this invalidates the notion that looks matter. Not at all. A woman SEES that a man is short, slim, thick, decent looking or ugly. She is still making a determination based on LOOKS.
For the men reading this work on what you have. Don’t worry about the Pretty Boys as they got their own issues.