In my books and blogs I talk about different categories of men and how they relate to women. For the most part women agree with the characterizations. There have been many occasions when a woman has offered even more categories. Some of these women will also complain about the games that men play in order to get sex. Okay that’s cool. The only issue I have with this is that many women try to come off as if they are innocent actors in the world of sexual politics.
Women got their stuff too. I would even argue that with that thing called Game the average woman runs circles around most men. As I raise my sons I’ll probably spend more time teaching them how to spot a woman’s games than I do on showing them how to get a woman. Though there are several games women play there is one game that women run that is actually socially acceptable. That game is Acculturated Prostitution.
I was first introduced the term by Master Yao Nyamekye Morris in his landmark book, Amanmere. Acculturated prostitution is a socially acceptable form of prostitution. The acculturated prostitute isn’t out on a corner wearing sexually provocative clothing taking money from men in return for sexual favors. Indeed most acculturated prostitutes will get highly offended if a man offered them money right up front. The game of the acculturated prostitute is to use her sex appeal to get favors from men. Sometimes she will imply that she will sleep with the man if he pays her bills. She may sleep with a man if he takes her to a fancy restaurant. On a job the acculturated prostitute will use sex appeal to get a raise or a favorable work assignment. Female servers at restaurants may use their sex appeal to get bigger tips from men. I actually know women who were instructed to be extra friendly to male customers. These are the most subtle examples.
The more blatant acculturated prostitutes are the gold diggers and the sugar babies. There is a whole subculture of women who focus on getting a professional athlete. These women will know more about a superstar athlete than the most hardcore fan. They also know the travel schedule and hotel accommodations of these men. Quiet as it kept certain professions such as Wall Street Traders have groupies. As far as sugar babies there are websites that openly connect young women with older wealthy men. I find it interesting in that many people will have a moral issue with men paying for sex with street walkers, in brothels, or engaging in sex tourism. Yet the same people are silent on the acculturated prostitution that goes on around them all the time. The sex tourist, the John, the horny supervisor, and the rich athlete are all paying for female companionship.
Indeed with the acculturated prostitute she will stand up in a public forum and say that a man has to have a certain amount of money to have the pleasure of her companionship. This man could be extremely intelligent, have a great moral character, be very responsible, and have a sense of humor. Yet many women will reject this man because he makes a modest income. The bad part is we accept that as a culture.
I remember I went on a date with a woman back in the nineties. I half-jokingly said something about going Dutch to gage her thinking. This woman stopped smiling and said that she would be offended if a man didn’t spend money on her. I nodded my head and said, “Okay that’s fair. Would you be offended if the man after he spent money on you told you to get on your knees and suck his dick?” She got real quiet then. We didn’t discuss money anymore after that. I’ve known many women who have slept with a man not because he was sexy but because he spent money on them. Yet those same women will complain about men going to places like Brazil for sex tourism.
I’m bringing this up because in the media there is so much focus on the actions of men and what we are doing wrong in relationships. I was on a panel discussing relationships back in the nineties. A woman in the audience stood up with much attitude, pointed her finger at me, and complained that men were always throwing money at women. She wanted to know why men did that. I looked at her very calmly and said, “Because y’all take the money.” After the forum three women came up to me privately and told me how they got money from men. These weren’t women who dressed like strippers or ratchets. These women looked like church ladies.
The problem with acculturated prostitution is twofold. One, it creates dysfunctional relationships. An acculturated prostitute doesn’t have to develop her character. She only needs to maintain her shape and ability to pick out clothes to make her butt look real nice. She’s not looking for a partnership, she’s looking for a sponsor. It’s a business arrangement. Yet many acculturated prostitutes will go on national television and wonder how come they can’t find a “good man.” I personally think that the real reason many American women complain about men going to places like Brazil or the Dominican Republic is that these men won’t spend money on them. Indeed, I’ve listened to the complaints of Black women about Black men who dated interracially. I’ve never heard a complaint about losing a Black man with good character to a white woman. The complaint always centers on a “white woman getting that brotha’s money.”
A bigger problem with acculturated prostitution is that it turns men into tricks. There are thousands of dating coaches, seduction gurus, relationship workshops, websites, and blogs that provide information and advice to men for the express purpose of getting women. Most men don’t feel like doing all of that. Let’s get raw. A man knows that if he got enough money he can get pussy from an attractive woman. Many men will simply go straight to a prostitute. Other men through experience will discover that many women on the dating landscape are acculturated prostitutes. Why should a man develop his character? Why should he be respectable? In some cases why even be law abiding? Anyone who really knows the drug game knows that many boys turn to drug dealing because the money attracts beautiful girls. Instead of honor and integrity men focus on getting money by any means necessary.
I addressed acculturated prostitution because many people are looking for solutions to the relationship problem out there. It would be trite for me to say that women should stop the practice of acculturated prostitution. It’s just one symptom of a bigger problem. The only real change comes when we start looking at issues realistically and start thinking about how we are contributing to the issue. Men complain about “Thots” and yet many will pay the utility bills of a sexy woman. Women complain when men call them hoes but will talk trash about a man who cannot afford to take them to an expensive seafood restaurant. Popular songs are even made about broke men.
Acculturated prostitution is just one issue we need to seriously examine if we really want functional relationships.