I’ve talked about in the Why I Don’t Teach Game blog series that I spent my early childhood in a dysfunctional environment. That’s only part of the story. When I was placed in my Grandmother’s custody as a ten year old, we moved into new house in more middle class neighborhood. Instead of being around mental patients, low level criminals, and sociopathic 8 year-olds, I was now around young professional families with well-behaved children. Took me awhile to adjust but it gave me a different perspective on life. Eventually I would attend a prominent all-boys Catholic school where most of my peers came from middle to upper middle class backgrounds. It further enhanced my perspective on life especially with relationships.
Going to an all-boy school was good for me in two ways as far as my future relationship life. First being at an all-boy school meant I could focus on school work without being distracted by the presence of a female. Many teenage boys don’t do well in school because they are more interested in impressing girls than focusing on their studies. I learned how to take care of business and not be pressed about girls. Second, I learned how to be aggressive with girls outside of the school. If there was a party I was either there or knew about it. If I met a girl at a party or on the street I had to get her phone number right there on the spot. I couldn’t watch her for weeks from the back of the classroom. I didn’t get to watch her in the school cafeteria. No girls in the school meant I couldn’t hesitate when I met them outside of the school. My experience at the all-boys school taught me not so much how to overcome fear but how not to have it to begin with.
So by the time I reached college I had experienced the dysfunctional underclass and the striving for excellence middle class. After my college and post graduate studies I moved in a world of upper middle class mores and attitudes. Particularly relevant were the attitudes towards dating and relationships I observed with the many women I encountered both romantically and platonically. See there is the belief that women want bad boys, thugs, and lowlifes. When men in particular make these statements they are only going on what they see. They see women with lowlifes. They see women with men with bad dispositions and multiple tattoos. So when someone like me comes by and says the whole “women wanting thugs” thing is blown out of proportion I’m looked at like I’m crazy. Not crazy though just stating what I have seen. And I’ve seen some things that would turn the average man’s stomach.
The main problem with the “women wanting thugs” viewpoint is that some men and surprisingly many women are seeing things from a limited perspective. Let me use an example from the animal kingdom; ants and a hawk. Imagine the world of an ant. His world is in someone’s backyard not extending too far from the ant hill. The reality of the ant is whatever is in that backyard. The hawk’s world however extends for several miles. He not only sees the ant hill in the backyard but the ant hills in several backyards plus other animals including humans and their houses. The hawk has a better perspective of the world around him. In human terms many people are ants and a few people are hawks. I say without conceit that I’m a hawk.
Applying it to this notion that women want thugs I know it’s overstated because I have seen and more importantly experienced the big picture. One of things that is not talked about in a straight –forward manner is class influenced behavior and its effect on male-female relationships. I mean we’ll call men thugs and women ratchets but I don’t think people think about the overall implications of these terms. Without turning this blog into a major dissertation I will state that “women wanting thugs” is a primarily underclass mating practice. I roll my eyes when I see professional men especially complain about women wanting thugs. The reason I roll my eyes because I question why a gainfully employed professional man would want the type of woman that would find a thug attractive. So many men are complaining about women wanting thugs that I don’t think they are paying close attention to the actual women.
The women who tend to find the thugs attractive are usually women from similar underclass backgrounds. This is even the case when the woman is a college educated professional. I’ve met plenty of degreed women who were physically beautiful and spoke like they grew up in a privileged environment. I get them nice and comfortable and their whole demeanor changes. Their body language and even their speech intonation changes and I find out they came from the underclass and worked their way out. A lot of women are like that. Women in general tend to be attracted to the types of men they grew up around. If they grew up around thugs they will tend to always be attracted to that energy. Indeed many women from the underclass look for that thug energy in a suit and tie professional.
Here’s the thing now. Most women did not grow up in an underclass environment. A majority of the women in this culture grew up in a middle class, church going environment. I emphasize the word “church.” Other than class affecting relationships, a person’s religious upbringing will influence their mating choices. That’s a future blog. My point is that because of her background a woman may not find a thug anything other than physically attractive. Now I know I talk about the importance of physical attraction but physical attraction is balanced out by social attraction. Let me explain what I mean by social attraction by using an example.
A woman named Abby meets a man named Abdul. Abby is very attracted physically to Abdul and the attraction is mutual. Abby wants to do nasty things to Abdul’s muscular body. They talk a few times and Abby decides to move on. She was turned on by Abdul physically but socially she is turned off to the point that her vagina stops tingling. See Abby is a socially conservative Christian girl from a solid middle class background who is in law school. She is a fifth generation college graduate and moves in a world of affluence. Abdul is from a dysfunctional family that experienced several generations of poverty and he has done prison time. In jail he converted to Islam and despite that he still has many street mannerisms. Abby was taught to mate from the neck up while Abdul let’s his dick make relationships decisions. Physically Abdul and Abby may have been compatible but socially they were very incompatible.
By the way though I've stated that I won't teach game I just gave away a major principle that a man can use to get sex from a women. Hit up my contact form if you can figure out what it is.
Women in general tend to mate within their social class or higher. The practice of women mating with a man in a higher social class is called hypergamy. The average woman is always looking to trade up. The women who get with thugs, if you really look at them, don’t have the ability to do better. Even if they are otherwise physically attractive a conversation with them will reveal why a professional man would not want to get with them. Quiet as it is kept upper middle class successful men are very picky. Some Joe Schmoe on the street may have sex with whatever woman makes herself available but a successful man making six figures, with a big house, luxury car, and stock portfolio has too much to lose to be indiscriminate with where he sticks his dick.
Now one argument that men who complain about women wanting thugs may have is that despite what I just wrote the thugs are not so much getting women but they are getting the most physically attractive women. Actually they are not. I say this from personal experience. As I said I used to move in more affluent circles and still have some connections to those worlds if I need something. Why I don’t move in those circles anymore have to do with my present philosophical beliefs. But I digress.
When I was younger and going to parties I observed two things: the social class of the party goers and the level of attractiveness. In the late eighties I used to go to some hotel parties given by some affluent men. They would give four parties during the year at different luxury hotels. They never put flyers or any other advertisements and yet their parties were always packed. You had to know somebody to find out the party locations. The women at the parties were typically upper middle class professionals who rated as nines and tens. One party I brought a couple a female friends who were more average in appearance. My friends didn’t like the party because there were so many “Black Barbie Dolls.” The women at these parties were drop dead gorgeous with fit bodies and classy attitudes. These women wouldn’t give a thug the time of day unless he was extremely attractive. Even then the thug wouldn’t get any further if he opened his mouth and start spouting some ghetto nonsense.
My point is that too many men are worried about the actions of women who are not even the top of line. The women on these social networks with the big juicy booties and multiple tattoos are not top of the line. Yeah they get a man’s dick hard but trust me most of them will not age well. Women who deal with too many low-level men never age well and their looks will fade. On the other hand upper class women tend to maintain their beauty well into 60’s and 70’s, even beyond.
Let’s forget about the women for a second. Too many men use the “women want thugs” thing as an excuse not to improve themselves. It’s too easy to find a website or social network page where men are complaining about the thugs. It’s easy to complain. Thing is the women who go for thugs are going to go for them anyway. More power to them. My message to men is to leave them alone. A man should focus his energy on improving himself, and finding social circles containing beautiful classy women. I know those booty models are sexy. I’ve met some middle class women with bodies that will blow away the booty models. Many of those women are saving their sexy bodies for genuinely good men. I’ve even known some that prefer so-called corny men. Stop hating on the thug for getting a ratchet woman. Build yourself and look for classy women.