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2015 Big Rom Blog of the Year: Stand With Me

12/27/2015

1 Comment

 
This blog was first published on April 5, 2015.  The response was overwhelming.  It was a call for change.  I want to thank everyone who supported me in 2015.   Let's rise and transform together in 2016.

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            For the most part my blogs are directed at a broad audience.   I have readers from all over the world.  They are men and women, all races and nationalities.   So I write in very broad terms when I discuss relationship issues.   This particular blog will be different in that it is directed at Black men.   It is nothing against any other gender, race, or nationality.  I need to speak on something that is particular to Black men.  

            My last blog, was entitled “Do Right Men Win in the End.”   It spoke to a particular class of Nice Guys who are just really good individuals.   Men who may not have movie star looks or six figure incomes.   Men who are not into playing games in order to get into relationships.   My contention was that these men win in the end in that they end up with positive relationships.   The blog was shared on social media by some faithful readers.   The response was very positive. Even the criticism was very constructive and gave me some things to consider.   Many Black men saw themselves in the blog and contacted me privately to share their viewpoints and most importantly their stories.

            I have heard you.  

            I understand your pain.   In the media we always see images of Black men either behaving badly and in other demeaning ways.   The only real exception are shows dealing with sports.   Even on the internet a video of a Black man acting stupid is likely to go viral and get thousands of likes and comments.  Yet stories of private schools sending 100% of their Black boys to college barely register on the radar.  How often do we see that?   We always see stories or status updates where women, our beautiful sistas, are constantly saying “Black men ain’t shit” or “Where are the good Black men?”   Those are some of the nicer comments.   Many Black men have said, “I’m right here and I’m doing something with my life.”   Many Black men, many Do Right Black Men, are walking through life feeling invisible.   So why are they feeling invisible?   Let's get raw as to the reasons why.

            Many of these brothas aren’t looking like Idris Elba or Boris Kudjoe or whoever the flavor of the day is.   These brothas are not pushing late model luxury cars with six figure salaries.   In the Black community the pretty boys and money men are the alpha males.  It has nothing to do with character, integrity or responsibility.   That’s why a man who has 34 children by several woman can get a reality show on a network owned by a Black woman.   A man who was irresponsible can be economically empowered and a Do Right Man who believes in marriage before having children can’t get a fucking “Attaboy!”   Worse that brotha may be called corny or lame for not having any children.

            That whole being corny or lame is something else Do Right Men have to deal with.   I knew a man who was educated, a professional, tall, muscular, and handsome.   He was an overall good person.  Yet his wife separated from him because she considered him “corny and lame.”   I guess the gold tooth married man she fell in love with who cursed her out regularly was “cool.”   Many Black men feel they have to have tattoos and a thug persona in order to attract Black women.   Even though I have gone on record to say that Black women don’t all chase thugs it happens enough for the average man on the street to draw this conclusion.   The bottom line is that the Do Right Man is not feeling the love.   That’s where Brazil comes in.

            There’s been a big deal made about Black men who travel to places like Brazil and the Dominican Republic on sex vacations.   Something that is not being said is all the men going to these places are not always dealing with sex workers.   There are many Black men who marry women from these other countries.    Even though many American Black women may not see it this way the women in Brazil are still Black and quite frankly many practice cultural and spiritual traditions that go back to the African continent.   I’ve talked with several men who have traveled to Brazil and the like.   They are not going for sex.   Let me say that again.  These Black men are not traveling to Brazil for sex.   They are traveling for validation.   They are traveling to be acknowledged.   They are traveling so that for at least a few days they are not invisible.   Just like women need attention so do men.   I’ve known men regardless of race who may frequent particular restaurants because they know the waitresses will at least smile and be nice to them.   Many men suffer depression because women don’t see them.

            There’s many things I could say.   Thing is there are numerous blogs, websites, and social media pages that talk about these issues and more.   Other than a few paragraphs in the context of this blog I really don’t care to add to the complaints.   As a result of my life experience I see things from a different perspective.   In my life on the surface I’m quite sure I seemed like the classic Do Right Man but I really wasn’t.   No I didn’t have tattoos and I didn’t look like the popular image of a player.   Indeed many women I dated said I had that “Clark Kent” thing going on as I used to wear big glasses.   Behind closed doors I was tapping that ass.    Many of the woman I dealt with had boyfriends.   A couple were separated from their husbands.   I was the villain in some stories.   That’s why I roll my eyes when women complain about cheating.   Women are way better at it.  Ask me how I know.

            The thing is if I see a problem I do something about it.   There’s a problem in Black male/ female relationships.   Every few years a major television network will do a special on the problems.   It’s become a multi-million dollar industry.   It will probably grow into a billion dollar industry.   The “experts” are not going to solve anything even if they have legitimate answers.   There’s too much money to be made.   For example there are many Black male relationship commentators who make their money telling Black women what they want to hear.   These men aren’t going to jeopardize their book deals and TV shows to be honest with Black women.   Indeed the industry is about telling people what they want to hear.   If there’s going to be a change it needs to come from the grassroots.   This is where the Do Right Men come in.

            Anyone who has followed my blog for a long time know that I study the social dynamics of different subcultures.   The problem in Black male/female relationships is really a problem with the subcultural matrix.   Black America as a whole exists as a subculture within the larger White American mainstream culture.   There are many dynamics that occur in Black relationships that do not exist in the mainstream culture.   A great example of this is that a Black person’s skin complexion and grade of hair affects their placement within the sexual hierarchy.   I talk a lot about men in the Mr. Goodbar category.   Most Black Mr. Goodbars are lighter in skin complexion with a grade of hair which suggests a mixed ancestry.   Colorism and hair politics play a role in Black relationships.    There are other examples as well.  The bottom line is that it all comes down to culture.   To me the obvious thing to do is to fix the culture, particularly the relationship culture.

            In mainstream relationships in general and in the Black community in particular women place men into two categories for dating and relationships, Select and Non-Select.   I’ve said this several times in my blogs.   In a nutshell the Select men get the panties and the Non-Select don’t.   The Do Right Men spend most of their time in the Non-Select category unless they build their finances and move into the Select.    The Do Right Men however are close to that borderline between Select and Non-Select.   They tend to get attention as women get older and get tired of being dogged by Select men.   Women get tired of dealing with mostly irresponsible pretty boys who have no intentions of committing.   Many women just use pretty boys for sex anyway.   Women then move on to the Money Men.  Women find out the hard way that Money Men are very hard on women.   A Pretty Boy may deal with a plain looking woman who is slightly overweight, especially if he needs a place to stay and she is extremely receptive.  The Money Man, however, only wants to deal with a Black Barbie.  Most Black women, indeed most women period, don’t look like Barbie.   Most Black women will not be able to be in a committed relationship with a Select Brotha.   Yet many want a committed relationship.   Do Right Men all of sudden start looking real good.  

            The first thing the Do Right Men have to realize is that the whole select/non-select thing is fluid.   A woman’s select group at 20 will change by the time she is 30 and change even more by the time she is 40.   Many men who are non-select at 20 start looking real good at forty.   If one thinks about it most male sex symbols in the entertainment industry are in their forties, fifties and even sixties.    Women tend to become unattractive as they age while men become more attractive.  So the first thing is that men have to have the mindset that no matter where they are currently at, the odds are ever in their favor to improve their station.   

            So knowing that things will get better the Do Right Men have to accept that they have the power.   A foundation of my books and blogs is that women choose the men.   That doesn’t mean men have to accept the choice.   A woman choosing a man doesn’t mean he has to choose her back.   He has the power.   Black women use many shaming tactics to get men to accept them regardless of physical appearance, prior children, and emotional baggage.   Whatever.   Stand your ground Do Right Men.   If a woman has to use a shaming tactic to get you to like her she ain’t worth shit.   A woman who is about something doesn’t have to shame men into wanting her.   A man will want her, weight issues and kids.   The women with the shaming tactics, let them burn.  

            The Do Right Man is the key to this whole system.   For a very long time I thought Mr. Goodbar was the key to changing this culture but experience and insight has caused me to change that viewpoint.   Mr. Goodbar is getting too much easy pussy to change anything.    That’s like asking a Lion to ignore a herd of antelopes.   The Do Right Man is the key because he’s the one who maintains some type of order.   A pretty boy may physically satisfy a woman for 20 minutes.   The Money Man may be able to take the woman on weekend getaway.   When it gets down the business of life and long term quality of living, that’s the Do Right Man’s domain.   The Do Right Man has to understand that he is the fallback and reject that position.    Women want to have their fun and then get a Do Right Man.   Screw that.  Don’t accept being the clean-up man.

            One thing many Do Right Men can do is start validating the Do Right Women.   In the Black community for all the talk of Black women being overweight and baby mamas, there are many women who go against these stereotypes.   There many single Black women who are at least decent looking, in good shape and don’t have children.  Some might have children and still have a lot going on.  All women don’t have children with trifling men.   Couples break up, that’s life.   Many Black women don’t want a pretty boy and are not impressed by a man’s money.   I’ve met many single sistas who want to build with a positive Black man.   Start validating the positive sisters and stop paying so much attention to the thots and ratchets.   So many Black men have blogs, websites, and social media pages where thots and ratchets are put on blast.  Too much time is given to women who quite frankly like the attention.    There are many women out there who are attractive and positive.  I know because that’s what I focus on.   I could probably get at least 100 such women in a room with little effort.   The Do Right Man has to focus on these women.

            It’s time for a change.   It’s time for the Do Right Men to come together to change this relationship culture.   To the Do Right Man reading these words.  Stand with me.   Let’s change this thing.   I want a world where my sons can be free to be their authentic selves without having to conform to a woman’s twisted version of masculinity.   I can’t do it by myself.   Stand with me.   I know the way.   Hit me up here and let’s rise and transform together.


1 Comment

That Style Game

12/20/2015

7 Comments

 
            I’m going to start this joint out with a few words from a beautiful woman, Kenya K. Stevens, CEO of Jujumama.com.
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            Men are so beautiful.  A fine man is like a morsel of well-prepared food – delicious and totally inviting.  Men of any race, size and age are even more appealing depending upon personal style choices, and enhancements that make a man just right.  A man’s personal style includes his clothing, his scent and choice of shoes, but can also include his vehicle, his walk and his personality.  A large element of style is also his physique.  Oh baby, you know the ones I mean, the well-groomed personal style, and clean-cut with a body to match!  Watch out ladies, I’m heating up as I even speak the words!  There is nothing more appealing to a woman than a man with a well-tailored personal style.  From the initial point of contact of men with all of these elements in place, we find ourselves completely entranced by his appearance and style and we simply go gaa, gaa, and find ourselves considering ways to get him to notice us and we mean business, right ladies?

            Male style and our attraction to it is actually an ancient ritual.  In many ancient cultures, it was the woman who chose the men.  Yes, it was the reverse of today’s modern courting style.  Ancient women were in the position to choose and men just sat pretty and waited for a woman to make her choice.  Men would dress their delicious, cut bodies with markings and jewels and dance the alluring warrior’s dance to attract a suitor in the village of women.  This ceremony might happen a few times a year.  During the dance and show of men, the women would come forward to choose their men.  A chosen man would literally dance more vigorously even after hours of dancing to show his excitement for being chosen.  Wow, do we not wish those days were back?  Well, in a way this tradition still exists.  Women today choose men based, first and foremost, on their sense of personal style.  If anyone tries to deny this, they need a reality check.
 
From Change your Man, pages 193-94
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            There are two major takeaways from this passage other than something I always preach which is women choose the men.   The first takeaway is that at no point did Kenya mention a man’s facial features.  This is major because many, many men feel that that they are not handsome enough to attract women.   This is not to say that women don’t like a handsome face but it’s not the only thing.  Far from it.  Yes looks matter to women but not so much as the face as it is the overall “look.”   When women check out men they are not only looking at his face but his haircut, his grooming, his clothes, and especially his shoes.   A man can probably get a good hug of off a nice pair of shoes alone.   This leads to the second takeaway.   A man may not be able to control his facial bone structure but everything else is within his control.

            ANY man develop his own unique personal style.   First of all any man can develop his body.   He doesn’t even have to be super-muscular.   Some women like slim dudes and many like thick dudes.   Even height isn’t a bar as many women will deal with a short man if his STYLE is appealing.   Women are more visually stimulated than is commonly believed.   Any man can experiment with different haircuts until he sees which one gets attention from the ladies.  He can experiment with facial hair.   He can work with different types of clothes until he sees what works.   He can even try different types of colognes.   Women love to smell a man.

            One would think that everything I’m writing is obvious but it’s not.   I’ve lost count of how many times I have seen men looking like bums approach women and then got mad when they were rejected.   Too many men think they can look any type of way and a woman will respond.  For example the other day a lady friend told me that a “homeless” man approached her and made her feel uncomfortable because he was coming on very strong sexually.   Now she didn’t know if he was actually homeless but she still made a judgement based on his appearance.   Now her reaction might have been different if he had on a nice tailored suit, fresh haircut, and a nice cologne.   She might have at least gave him her phone number.

            Another example I think of is this guy I knew years ago.   He had definite speech impediment and might have been on the autism spectrum.   He worked as a janitor.   Yet despite having trouble speaking clearly and having a low status job he had little trouble attracting women.   They loved him because he not only was genuinely nice but dude’s style game was off the chains.   His haircut was always fresh.   His designer eye glass frames fit his face perfectly.  His clothes were always so crisp you would think he was sleeping with the owner of a dry cleaners.   On top of that his shoe game was wicked.   This was his style just to empty trash cans.  He took it to another level outside of work.
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            It’s funny that so many men try to study Pimps in order to figure out what to do with women.   The same men don’t seem to realize that a MAJOR part of the Pimp game is their personal style.   If a man is turning on a woman visually she becomes very receptive to whatever is coming out of his mouth.  
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            This doesn’t have to be long one fellas.   Work on that personal style.   It has to be unique to who you are.  It’s trial and error to develop one but in the end women will thank you.
            

7 Comments

Big Rom Replay: Sexual Shadow World

12/13/2015

8 Comments

 
The following blog was originally published on October  26, 2014.   

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            I write a lot of things regarding male/female relationships that either doesn’t make sense to people or seems like I don’t know what I’m talking about.   There’s a reason for that.   The reason is one of perspective.   Most people can only relate to things that match their own worldview.   Indeed most people will only seek out information that validates their perspectives.   If something doesn’t validate their perspective they tend to reject the information.   That’s the reason why despite all of the books, seminars, coaches, and bloggers out there it seems like relationships are getting worse and not better.   Most commentators, including professionals, have only seen a part of the picture and not the whole thing.   There were some incidents many years ago that illustrate my point.

            When I first published my books I did a lot of seminars.   I remember two in particular that stand out because of the contrasts between the participants.   The first seminar was with a group of Black professionals.  The organizers of the seminar had read my book, Nice Guys and Players, and had pulled my character types out for role play among the participants.   They were scary spot on acting out the characters of the Nice Guy, Gamesman, and Masked Man.   When they got to Mr. Goodbar the characterization was off.  By miles.   An interesting thing happened.   When the discussion was focused on the first three types the conversation was lively even heated.   When I talked about Mr. Goodbar the place was quiet.  You could literally hear a pin drop.   The concept of a man who had women walk up and drop their panties was alien to most of the people in the room.  Well, except for the Goodbar in the corner working his magic on a Buppie with the phat ass booty.  He looked at me, gave me a head nod, and went back to work.   Like most things I’ve encountered in life I placed the moment in a mental file cabinet to pull out and think about later.

            The second incident came a few years later.   I was doing a seminar with some true to the game thugs.   These were men convicted of minor crimes and were only sitting down with me because a Judge didn’t leave them any choice in the matter.   An interesting thing happened.  Usually when I discussed my books and ideas with groups the information would be received with disbelief and at times ridiculed because it went against the belief systems of seminar participants.   At times I thought maybe I was the one who was off.   Then I come across a group of real thugs.   An interesting thing happened.   After a little bit of an introduction to my books these men opened up about their experiences and told me the contents of my books.   Not only did they know about Mr. Goodbar they were Mr. Goodbar.   These men were telling me some things that quite frankly a person would be hard-pressed to find a mention of in any form of media.   

            See here’s the thing.   In a previous blog I talked about men and women having two faces, a social face and a sexual face.   The social face is the one everyone sees.   That’s the face with the business suit, going to the kids’ soccer games, and being good neighbor by keeping the grass cut.   Most relationship advice, most discussions about Alpha and Beta Males, most conversations about what women want focus on the social faces.   The sexual faces are something completely different.   Socially, a person has a professional job, is a good parent, and neighbor.   They even go to church regularly.   Sexually that person is a swinger who routinely has sex with strangers.   The sexual face is how a person behaves in sexual manner.   A major problem in relationship discussions is that the focus is on social faces.   The whole Alpha Male thing for example is based on a social face.   The Alpha Male is supposedly the take charge, center of attention man who gets all the hot women.   This of course is based on the assessment of what such a man is doing socially.   The man holding court in a bar is only dominating socially.   There may be a few women feeling his vibe but trust me they may never go home with him.    Many socially dominant men are weak behind closed doors.   So why do I say this?

            I’m one of those people who has encountered a WHOLE lot of people in life.   I personally have been acquainted with many alternative sex workers.   We’re talking about Dominatrixes and Tantric Massage workers.   I’ve also known phone sex workers, sugar babies, true gold diggers, escorts, and strippers.    These women have told me a lot about their clients.   We’re not talking losers living in their mom’s basements playing video games all day.   The women I talked to told me about encounters with men who were SOCIALLY Alpha Males.   Straight up, a dude living in his mom’s basement couldn’t afford most of these women.    It’s funny as hell to me that a whole subculture of men focuses on being the Alpha Males they see socially without knowing anything about the sexual faces of these men.    Let me share some things about myself to give the reader an idea about why I say the things I say.   

            In my early twenties I was where many men pay thousands of dollars to get.   This was back in the late eighties and early nineties.   I was at the top of that thing called game.   I had zero anxiety approaching women.   To use the street language of the time, I had a “smooth rap.”  On top of that my fashion and grooming game was A-1.  I also had the status of being of Black man with a degree who was pursuing a post graduate degree.   The only real weakness in my game was my weight.   Though I’m a natural mesomorph, if I don’t work out consistently I would gain weight.   The good thing about me gaining weight is that my body tends to gain evenly and not just in one area such as my stomach.   Even though I had extra weight on I carried it very well.   At most my weight gave me an average physical appearance which I was able to compensate for by having a smooth rap and wicked fashion game, especially with my shoes.   

            With my game at the time I was able to date and have sex with some very attractive and shapely women.   Now I had still had to put in some work to woo the women.   Nobody was sleeping with me on the first date, maybe fourth or fifth date.   Of course there were some rejections.  Also I did hear the words, “Let’s just be friends.”   There were plenty of women in what I call the “Not Sure Zone.”   Women in that zone will have a little sexual attraction for a man but not enough to simply drop her panties.   A man has to work for a woman in that zone.  Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he don’t.   Where I was at the time I thought I was at the top of the game.   I was getting a LOT of play from attractive women primarily in the six to eight range.   Even a few Nines and Tens showed some interest.   Then around 1991 I entered the Sexual Shadow World and had my mind blown.

            I had started running in the spring of 1990 because a Nine didn’t want to have sex with me because of my weight.   I was weighing about 230 and quite frankly getting a little sloppy.   During that summer my weight came down to about 215 and to be honest I didn’t think anything of it.   I was getting pretty much the same play I was getting before from women in the six to eight range.   Then some interesting things happened to take everything to a different level.

            The first was that I was in the application process for a certain prominent federal law enforcement agency.   I had passed the panel interviews and now had to prepare to pass a physical fitness test.   I was required to do a certain number of pushups, sit-ups, and to be able to run 2 miles under 16 minutes.   So instead of jogging I had to start running.   I had to train more intensely.  So starting in the winter of 1990 until the summer of 1991 I dropped even more weight.   I went down to 190 pounds of lean muscle mass.  I passed the test with flying colors.  I was walking around at my optimal physique as the sit-ups had developed my abs and the pushups had developed my arms and chest.   Women started going crazy over my body to the point where I would ROUTINELY get approached on the street.   Even had some young girls yell out their car windows while I was walking on the street.   So I had a body that was attracting women to me.   That was one part of the equation.   The second part came from some unique individuals.  

            In the summer of 1991 I encountered some sex workers.   For legal reasons I can’t get into the particulars but during that summer I learned a lot about the inner sexual nature of women.   It was some things not discussed in public and still isn’t.   On the internet now there are some men who called themselves “Red Pill” because they think they know the sexual nature of women.   They don’t and they’re deluded.   They’ve barely scratched the surface.  They don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.    Even some men who get a lot of sex don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.   But I digress.

            These sex workers gave me a real education.   I already knew a lot from women I had been around as a child but these women took me to a new level.   There were also one older man who gave me some insight.   One of the reasons I don’t hold what is taught as game on the internet in high regard is because of that man.   I’ll call the man James.   James was an older Jamaican who had a scary insight into how people behaved psychologically.   He could look at someone and tell you what’s going on with them.   He would mess with people’s heads just to pass the time.   He was especially adept at fucking or as he said “getting some punanny.”   He was talking about setting up a 900 line which was popular back then to tell men how to bring a woman to orgasm.   He was actually the first man I had met who was talking about satisfying women sexually.  Most men fail because they don’t look like they can or even care about getting a woman to orgasm.   

            The combination of the sex workers and James took me into the Sexual Shadow World.   In that world Mr. Goodbar is the Alpha Male.   Yet in the social world the same man may be a minimum wage worker or shy in a crowd.    In the Sexual Shadow World the men at the top of the pyramid are not the tall good looking men with status or game.   Physical appearance is important, indeed of supreme importance but not in the classic way that is important in the social world.   First of all a man’s face doesn’t matter as much.   In the Sexual Shadow World a good looking face is a bonus but not a necessity.   If one takes an honest look at the SEXUALLY attractive people they are rarely very physically attractive in the face.   There are exceptions but in general SEXUALLY attractive people have average faces.   Don’t believe me?  Take a real good look at the men and women who turn on people sexually.   All they have in common are great bodies.   Many are buttafaces.   A good looking face is more important for in the social world.   When it comes down to sex, a man just needs a hot body, a decent size dick, and some fair sexual skills.   

            In this case physical appearance is more about the body, the print, and how the man moves which gives the woman a clue about how he would be in bed.   See most of what’s in the media is focused on what women want socially.   The key to a woman is what type of man she lusts for.   A woman may publically say she wants a man who’s tall, with a good looking face, with status and a decent body.    Many women when presented with what they say they want may still reject the man.   The reason is that they don’t lust the man.  Indeed when many women say they love a man they are really saying they lust him.   Socially a woman may want that classic good looking man who seems dominant.   Sexually she wants that rough looking man with hard body and big dick who would pound her pussy like it stole something.  

            A key component to the Nice Guys and Players Philosophy is to be a man who can satisfy a woman’s social needs AND her sexual needs.   Despite the talk about there being a shortage of men many women who are even reasonably attractive have two men in their lives.   The first man is the socially acceptable boyfriend or husband.   The first man takes her out, spends money on her, and provides emotional support.   He is acceptable to her friends and family.  In many cases he is considered an Alpha Male.   The second man is one nobody knows about.   His only purpose is to satisfy her lust.   He might not be classically handsome, he may be broke, and truth be told not even have what is commonly considered game.   He can fuck though. Well.

            Now I’m not talking about theory here.   During the period I lived in the Sexual Shadow World I would say the OVERWELMING majority of women I dealt with had boyfriends.   As far as I know I didn’t mess with any women with husbands.  I say as far as I know because women lie more than men.  I did know some men who didn’t have a problem with fucking another man’s wife.  I seriously consider women hypocrites when they talk about cheating men.   When women are in lust they don’t give a fuck.  A woman will fuck her best friend and sister’s husbands in a threesome if she lusts them.   They will find a rationalization to satisfy their lust.   It wasn’t certain trashy women either cheating either.  It was something that crossed class lines and even subcultures.   I’ve dealt with church girls, nerd girls, and princesses who cheated on their men.  Those goody-goody girls can be the worse.  The Sexual Shadow World is where that perfect Ten will do the freaky-freaky while tied up.  

            Here’s the thing.   Many men reject what I tell them because it goes against CONVENTIONAL wisdom.   There are men out there who think if they just get some plastic surgery all of a sudden they’ll get hot woman.   There are men who think if they behave in a dominant manner the women will drop their panties.   There are men learning game in their attempts to get hot women or any women.   The only thing a man needs to do is develop himself to the point where a woman will LOOK at him and say to herself, “he can get it.”   At the point the man needs to be present enough to pick up on her SEXUAL desire.  He then needs to be smart enough not to say something stupid and give what one beautiful woman once said, “Instant dryness.”

            The only game is lust.   If a man wants more and better women he needs to develop his overall physical appearance so that it generates lust.   The man also has KNOW that women want sex as much as men.  Indeed the truth is the more sexually attractive a woman is the more they will choose a man based on pure lust.   

            I just gave y’all some raw game.  I wonder who will pick up on it.   Hit up me here.


            Peace!

 

 


8 Comments

Think On This

12/6/2015

0 Comments

 

            This is something sexually frustrated men really need to think on.   These are direct quotes from my books.  Take your time with this.
 
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            A woman feels good when she is aroused.  A man who can appeal to a woman’s senses and mind will usually be chosen.  An aroused woman is under a powerful influence. She is under romantic intoxication.   Romance, when you break it down, is nothing more than a form of arousal.  Those flowers, dinners, and getaways are designed to arouse women. Romance novels are popular for that reason.  Romantic intoxication is worse than any other addiction.  Women will change personalities while addicted to romance.  They become more excited, their skin tingles, they get butterflies, and they begin to glow.  Women have left their families, jobs, and friends to feed this addiction.  A woman will sleep with her best friend’s husband while romantically intoxicated.  Players can keep a woman in a state of romantic intoxication.   Nice guys fail to do this.  A man skilled in the art of arousal, yes, it is an art, can manipulate a woman to the point where he can get anything he wants from her.   Good, responsible men need to develop their arousal skills not only to keep their women happy but also to protect them from the more predatory players.  The man who masters the art of arousing his woman need not fear competition.
            
From Nice Guys and Players
 
*************************
 
            One of the biggest complaints women have about their relationships with men is that they are not being sexually fulfilled.   This is part of the reason so many women chase after Mr. Goodbar.  He is perceived to be able to satisfy women.  Sometimes a woman may not be completely satisfied even with a Mr. Goodbar.  A woman’s sexual satisfaction partly falls on her own shoulders so the fault is not entirely the man’s even though a woman may want to believe this.   Many women have issues with sexuality that must be dealt with before they can truly enjoy sex.  A discussion of these issues is a book in itself.   Men, however, must develop themselves and their sexual techniques to the best of their ability. 
 
From Sexual Chemistry
 
************************
          One of the most talked about issues in male-female relationships is the subject of good girls and bad boys.  The reason good girls fall for bad boys is the sensuality projected by these men.  These men, be they rock star, pro athlete, or drug dealer are connected with their primal maleness.  This alone sets them apart from most men.  To make it in any profession be it music, sports, or illegal activity, a man has to have control over his primal instincts. Rock stars, no matter how crazy they act, have to practice their music and deal with business matters.  Pro athletes have to practice many hours because they may be cut from the team for making a costly mistake during the game.  Drug dealers have to be very disciplined or they wind up in jail or dead.  Applied to interactions with women, the man is turning the women on by his primal maleness but his disciplined nature keeps his primal maleness from harming her.
​
From Meeting Attractive Women
 
*************************
            Using the term, “Mr. Goodbar” is not a random piece of slang.   One woman said it meant a man had a good dick.   Not really.  “Mr. Goodbar” is more of an allegory of what women experience with this type of man.  Most women like chocolate and I don’t mean in a racial sense.   Give most women something with chocolate in it, be it a candy bar or an ice cream sundae and they will derive great PLEASURE from eating that chocolate.   Some women will even get mild orgasms from eating chocolate.   Mr. Goodbar is a human version of that piece of chocolate.   She wants to indulge as much as possible in his presence.   Her body chemistry will literally change when she is around this man.   This chemistry produces a state of euphoria in the woman that is similar to the feeling a person gets when they drink alcohol.   The woman in Mr. Goodbar’s presence is in a state of romantic intoxication.    An overwhelming majority of women are addicted to getting this feeling of intoxication, this euphoria, this PLEASURE.    Women are just like junkies in this regard.  Instead of tapping their arms for their fix, they tap their thighs.   The Players and Bad Boys are not delivering this drug on a street corner.   These men are delivering this drug in bedrooms, offices, storage rooms, and sometimes in back alleys.  
            Here’s something deep for you.  The key to where a man stands with women is his ability to deliver this drug, this euphoria, this intoxication.  We will call this drug, “Pleasure.”   The biggest mistake most men make is not knowing how women see them.   Many men see themselves as Alpha Males.  They will have kick-ass manager jobs or successful businesses making big money.   They will be above average in looks and height.  They will have homes and cars.   Same type of men I described in the previous section.  Yet they will struggle in their relationships with women.  They may get sex but not from the Dimes.   They may have to settle with the Plain Jane with a slight attitude.   These men don’t get the best women because they are unable to deliver the Pleasure.   When the average woman is looking at a man she is looking for clues that he can deliver that good stuff.   Many men despite what they have going on for them materially and how confident they are they don’t think in terms of delivering Pleasure.  Indeed most men when they get a little bit of money feel like women should fall over them.   They see the woman as an accessory to their lives, a trophy to be won if the woman is a Dime.   Knowing that women judge men according to their ability to deliver Pleasure it then shines a different light on the sexual hierarchy of how women see men.  
 
From A Player’s Eyes
 
*******************************
 
Think on this.
 
 

 
 
 

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