Goodbar Land

            I had an interesting day yesterday.   I was out and about doing what I do.  I had several conversations with men about what men usually talk about if it is not sports, women.   One young man was telling me how tired he was feeling because his girl wore him out the night before.  He was also telling me how jealous she gets because other women check him out and that she always checks his phone.   He also had a lot of insight into the true nature of women.   Now this is a young Black male who society would label as a thug because of his braided hair and rough appearance.   I had a conversation an hour or so later with a muscular white man who had a lot of insight into women.   This dude was a self-described Poon Hound.   Watching his head swivel every time a woman walked past us was entertaining.   As he said, “I like women.  All women.”   This the type of cat who would fuck anything female that moves.   He walk by an aquarium the fish would stop swimming.  He walk outside the wind stops blowing.   Outside these two, I got texts throughout the day from men who get more women than they know what to do with.  It was a Goodbar type of day.   It very refreshing.

            As I’ve written several times I have talked with literally thousands of women.  What I don’t say is that I’ve talked with literally thousands of men.  Now when men get together the two main topics of conversation will be sports and women.   Indeed a man can go anywhere on the planet and connect with locals talking about sports or women, especially women.  I’m convinced a phat ass can bring world peace.   Now most of the conversations are men complaining about their lack of success with women.   I spend a significant amount of time listening to every negative thing possible being said about women.   Even online the majority of men’s social media pages, blogs, videos, and websites are talking negative.  This is the case even with sites dedicated to men improving with women.   I referenced a few of these sites in my blog, Different Worlds of Men.    There was one, however, I didn’t reference.   That world was Goodbar Land.

            I have yet to find a website that caters to Mr. Goodbar.   I’ve found some that are arguably close.   In my Different Worlds blog I mention Better Man World and Poly World.   These aren’t Goodbars though.  These are Masked Man types.   These are men who had to do a lot of work to become select.   There was another underground site I didn’t mention in that article that I was privy to that catered to real Pimps.   You had to know somebody to get the link for that site.  It still wasn’t a Goodbar site.   Contrary to popular belief the Pimps really don’t have as much insight into the female mind as a Goodbar.  Pimps are skilled at finding and managing women who are willing to sell their body.  Pimps are lousy at dealing with regular or what they call square women.   The image of the pimp is more in public consciousness.  Goodbar is something else entirely.

            I have a vivid memory of a seminar I did back in 2001 based on my book, Nice Guys and Players.   It was with a group of young Black professionals.   It was standing room only and a lot of energy.   A fun part of the seminar was people acting out in skits the different character types I had in my books.  It was all improv with a man and woman in each skit.  They were given a brief description of each character and they went to work.   The Nice Guy and Masked Man skits were good.  The Gamesman skit had me on the floor laughing.   Dude had legitimate good game which quite frankly is rare.   He later told me he had seven sisters who taught him a lot.  Anyway when they got to the Goodbar skit the man came on to the woman very aggressively and I stopped laughing.   It was all wrong.   I explained the problems of the interpretation and people looked at me as if I had an antenna growing out of my head.   

            Let me explain something about Mr. Goodbar.   He is the top of food chain as far as sexual desirability.   He is an Apex predator.   People think Pimps or Macks are the top dogs, the Alpha Males, but it’s really Mr. Goodbar.   The key piece with Goodbar is not that he chases women but rather they chase him.   Women actively try to seduce Mr. Goodbar.   This is an alien concept to most men who are not Goodbars.  Women already know even though they don’t talk about it publically and especially not in mixed company.   Goodbars don’t street harass or spend money trying to impress women.  Women will street harass and spend money trying to impress Goodbar.   Gigolos and Male Strippers are Goodbars who have gone pro.   I remember this one dude who telling me he had “arrived.”   He felt that since he was starting to get sex with decent women that he was the man.   He found out the hard way that he wasn’t.   He was getting women based on his salary, his home, and his cars.   He had arrived as a Masked Man, the mask being the resources but he wasn’t Goodbar.   A man knows he is Goodbar when women show up to his place with a trench coat on and nothing else.   A man knows he’s Goodbar when he get late night texts talking about, “What you doing?”   If a man has to open his wallet he’s not Goodbar.   Only a small percentage of men have it like that.

            Now many people think that Goodbar is probably a really handsome man that looks like a male model.   Not really.   First of all handsome is a subjective thing.  What’s handsome to one woman is ugly to another.   When it comes to dating advice, there is too much emphasis on facial features even when it is said, “Looks don’t matter.”   For people who believe looks matter they feel that as long as a man has a handsome face he will get attention.   I would say I’ve seen this to be the case when a man has an EXTREMELY handsome face.   Otherwise there are standard handsome men who have a lot of trouble with women.   The issue is not their faces.   The key to turning on a woman sexually is not the face.   There are millions of handsome men who are also seen as Nice Guys.   Facially many may be better looking to women than a Goodbar.   These men are also skinny or overweight.   The key ingredient for a Goodbar is not the face but his body.   What separates Mr. Goodbar from other men is his body.   More on that later.

            See a failing with many men in relating to women is that they are too much in their heads.   They are approaching women using logical thinking.   Logical thinking by its very nature is microcosmic.  It is left-brained.  It sees a small part of the overall picture.   It is thinking based on information.  It is limited if the information on a particular subject is limited.   For example, many men base their actions in relating to women on studies and statistics.   One example is the idea that fifty percent of Black women have herpes.   This is according to a Center for Disease Control study.   This study is based on actual test results.   Many men will base their logical thinking on this study when dealing with Black women.   The problem with this type of thinking is obvious to someone using common sense.   In order for the statement that fifty percent of Black women have herpes every single Black woman in the country would have to be tested.   A more accurate statement would be to say that fifty percent of the Black women TESTED for herpes had the disease.   A woman would only get tested for herpes or anything else for the matter only if they showed symptoms.   An analogy would be that a woman wouldn’t get tested for pregnancy unless she showed symptoms.   

            My point is that logical thinking is limited as far as relationships are concerned.   It’s good for professions which have well established rules, regulations, and standards.   Dealing with women is another thing entirely.   A man who is too much in his head will see a Goodbar at a bar say something to a women and see her immediately get sexual with him.   So the man in his head thinks, “If I say the same thing I will get the same result.”   Most “game” advice focuses on saying the right things to women.   So the man says the same things as the Goodbar and fails miserably.   Depending on where he is he may get kicked out of the club or even arrested.   What the man using logic didn’t see was that the Goodbar turned on the woman sexually before he even said a word to her.   The woman was turned on by the man’s body.   All the Goodbar had to do was pick up on the woman’s interest which leads to another difference between Goodbar and the rest of the male population.   Mr. Goodbar doesn’t think the same way as other men.

            There are actually four modes of thinking.   Logical thinking is one mode which is linear, left-brained, and microcosmic.   There is also analytical thinking which is abstract, left-brained and microcosmic.   It uses analogy to compare one thing to another in order to come to a conclusion.   There is a mode called synthesis which is holistic, right-brained, and macrocosmic.   Synthesis looks at the big picture and how different parts of the picture fit together.   People who have a lot of common sense are using synthesis.  Finally there is integration which is intuitive, right-brained, and macrocosmic.   People who use integration are the type that do things based on “gut feelings.”   They are drawing from their subconscious mind.   They can read a person or situation accurately without any outside information.   Most human innovations came from integration.    

            As far as the four categories of men, Nice Guys, Gamesmen, and Masked Men tend to use logical and analytical thinking.   Good for working in many professions and keeping a car running but not so good for dealing with women.  Relationships are a right-brain thing.   Men and even women who approach relationships using their left-brain are doomed to failure and at best a passionless coupling based on pragmatic concerns.    Goodbars tend to use synthesis and integration.   One way that I know when a man is a Goodbar or at least has the potential is that he can read women real well.   This isn’t the type of reads that are taught in PUA boot camps which treat all the women the same.  A Goodbar reads each woman as an individual and adjusts his actions accordingly.   Goodbar is using intuition and also a lot of common sense.   Goodbars know that women are into sex as much, even more than men.   Strangely, many men think women don’t want sex as much as men and are scandalized when women show how sexual they can really get.   Goodbar intuits a woman’s sexual interest.   Using common sense Goodbar realizes that just like men are attracted to a woman’s body, women are attracted to a man’s body.

            Many dating advice professionals will advise men to join a gym and get fit.   The problem is that the men will still approach women while still in their heads.   They still think some magic words or behaviors will turn on a woman sexually.   Here’s a reality.  The men who get the most panties thrown at them are not the brightest as group.   I thought so at one time because of a personal bias but if I’m being honest the men who get the most women are not that bright at least not in a left-brain logical way.   There are exceptions like in everything else.    The women are responding to the man’s body.   Just like a man wants to suck those breasts and grab that ass, a woman wants to lick that chest and grab that ass too.  Ask me how I know. Women as a group are DRAWN to a certain body type, which tends to be mesomorphic or very close to it.  The affect is literally magnetic to women.  Men who are not close to that ideal need to be extremely handsome AND tall.  For any man not at those ideals women will be a struggle and are doing well to simply get a cooperative girlfriend.   One thing Goodbar doesn’t do is overthink situations with women.   Women really aren’t that deep.  

            There is so much I can say.   For anyone trying to get into Goodbar Land hit the gym.   If you’re skinny add some bulk.   If you’re overweight lose some weight.   Even after you do all that learn to think differently.   I know many men want to take workshops and read books on women.   Many men will listen to other clueless men.   Ultimately every man needs to cultivate his intuition and common sense.   Follow those gut feelings.   There has been many beautiful woman I passed over because my gut feeling screamed, “Oh hell no!”   I have no regrets.   I always found out something negative about the woman later on.   Use some common sense.   Dealing with women in a cookie cutter manner is stupid.  Each woman no matter how similar she is to other women is still an individual.   You gotta read that woman.   You can’t follow a script.   If you are having trouble with women it’s not the women. It’s you.  You need to change your thinking because apparently it’s not working.  

            One final thing.   The man who just read this needs to ask himself some basic questions.   Does he want to live in a world where he has to remember lines, spend money, and chase women who may end up friend zoning him?   Does he want to live in a world where women show up to his door wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels?  

            Think on this.