I’ve been seeing an interesting theme the past few months. Well it’s a theme I’ve been seeing for many years since the late eighties. I’ve even touched on this theme here and there in my blogs over the past year from the male side of things. See I’ve been seeing many women online and in the real world complain not so much about a shortage of men but specifically a shortage of men with money. Women are meeting men just not the ones they want. It’s never been a shortage of men per se but rather a shortage of certain men i.e. good looking men with money. One thing I’m seeing is women kicking men to the curb because the men are broke.
Okay fair enough. A woman doesn’t have to deal with any man she doesn’t want regardless of the reasons. A funny thing happens though. After being alone for a few months to a few years a woman starts getting lonely for companionship. They’ll go on social media and start complaining about the lack of men in their lives with other similarly situated women. They give each other encouragement and hope. Then one day it happens. A woman runs into a handsome man with money. He’s tall, he has a career, a home, and a late model car. He even looks like he would be good in bed.
The woman has hit the jackpot as she can check off most of the things on her list. He might not be able to speak fluent French but nobody is perfect. The woman is texting all of her friends and makes a long status update on social media. Her joy, however turns to tears of frustration within a week. The man of her dreams doesn’t have the slightest interest in her. Truth be told she doesn’t register on his radar.
Many women want a successful man. Women want that man who already has his act together. They want the man who is already at the top of his profession. Many romance novels play into this desire. What many women fail to realize until it’s too late is that these Successful Men don’t want them back. See the average woman does not understand men let alone a Successful Man. Ironically even women who seem to be successful with men don’t really understand them. Beyond knowing that men want sex most women are clueless. I’m going to share some things about the psychology of the Successful Man so that women especially will understand why that fine man with E-class isn’t looking their way.
The key thing for a woman lusting for a particular Successful Man to understand is that that this man did not always have women lusting for him. Indeed most men who are successful did not reach a level of success until they were in their late thirties and early forties. Many might not “make it” until their fifties. Now unless these men were also exceptionally handsome with great bodies it is very likely that they went long stretches of their youth in a state of involuntary celibacy. In other words they weren’t getting any sex. A big part of a Successful Man’s drive to succeed is the desire to get sex. So this man is going through his horniest years without consistent female companionship. It is during these years that a man is either in school or if blue collar, in an apprenticeship where he is learning the skills that may bring him success later on life. He is laying the foundation for his future.
Here’s some game for the ladies: This is the period of time when a man is MOST receptive to being in a relationship with a cooperative woman regardless of her physical appearance or personality traits.
This is a very important consideration. A man may want a beauty queen or a pin-up girl but at this point he may settle for an average looking woman who could stand to either lose some weight or in some cases put on some. At this point a man will reach for the lowest hanging fruit if the woman is COOPERATIVE. In plain language the average man is not going to be as picky when he doesn’t have as much money and he knows he doesn’t have movie star looks. A smart woman with some common sense would grab this man. Yeah she might not be able to get dinners at fancy seafood restaurants on a weekly basis and she might have to rock knockoff designer bags from the flea market for a little while but the payoff in the long run is enormous. This is where many women get in trouble for two primary reasons. One, many women don’t want to be around a man while he is building his career or business and two which is even more of problem many women don’t know what a Successful Man looks like up close and personal.
The first thing is that many women don’t want to be a relationship with a broke man. It’s not because the man has some type of personality flaw. Most women see dating and the early stages of relationships as entertainment. Men are not chosen initially because they are responsible men with ambition to do great things. The average man is chosen because of the level of entertainment he can provide a woman. Dating is entertainment. Even if a woman chooses a man just for sex she is doing so for entertainment. When women consent to a date with a man they are looking for a good time. They are not thinking about buying a house or building a family. The woman is thinking about eating good food, watching a funny play, dancing, and possibly getting her back blown out later that night. Good food, plays, and dancing cost money. A man has to have the ability to spend a couple of hundred dollars to give a woman a nice evening. Now a man who is a student or is just making enough to get basic bills paid is not going to be able to date the average woman. The average man will be rejected because he doesn’t LOOK like he can afford to entertain a particular woman. Many women don’t even want to around men they perceive as broke.
Now one other issue that isn’t discussed is that many women really don’t know what a Successful Man looks like. Yeah a woman can read a story about a Successful Man and depending on their social circle and where they work may even encounter one. The issue is that women will typically only see the finished product. See despite what many women like to think about themselves they are average. They are average looking women living an average existence. On their own they will never be affluent and the overwhelming majority will never live their dreams if they even have any. An average woman will have trouble truly understanding a Successful Man for the simple fact that she didn’t do the work to get to a point of success. She sees the tall handsome man with the luxury car. What she doesn’t see is the hours of blood, sweat, and tears the man had to go through to reach his level of success. She aspired to an ordinary life. He aspired to an extraordinary life. An average woman would have seen this man when he didn’t have anything and not recognize his potential. How could she? It’s not her mindset. The women who recognize that potential are the ones who grew up with a successful father or male relative. Ironically a woman from an upper class background may actually be very receptive to a broke man with potential because they recognize the personality traits for success.
Let’s brings this back around full circle. A woman is looking for a Successful Man. Somehow she manages to meet one. She gives him blatant choosing signals and is rejected. The Successful Man may or may not even speak to her. The worst thing many women do is let a man get successful without them. An important thing for men is loyalty. Now many women say they are loyal to men which really means certain men. Women are loyal to good looking knuckleheads. Average looking men who don’t have money didn’t feel that loyalty. It’s important for a man to bond with a woman in order for him to be a relationship with her. Despite what women think a man doesn’t bond with a woman because of sex. A man can have sex with a woman he doesn’t like for years. A man bonds with a woman through the intangibles she brings to the table such as cooperation and loyalty. Many Successful Men when they needed cooperation the most did not get it. The Successful Man went through his toughest years ALONE. He finds out the hard way that he really doesn’t need women EMOTIONALLY. Now if his sex drive is normal he still needs women PHYSICALLY. This is where women catch hell.
That Successful Man isn’t looking for a life partner. He’s looking for a tight young body for physical release. Indeed many Successful Men will become Sugar Daddies or engage in sex tourism. If they do get married they will do so with trophy women. Average women will be rejected if they can even manage to get into the same social circle as a Successful Man. In the eyes of the Successful Man he sees the same women who once rejected him all of a sudden finding him attractive. This is something that these men highly resent. A few will dog out the women who once rejected them. It’s a vicious cycle.
If men and women really want change we have to really examine the values we are using to choose mates. Women complain about men judging them on physical appearance and yet the same women reject men because their bank accounts are small. Real change has to come by changing our overall cultural values. Changing our values will be a theme I will be discussing in future blogs.