The following is an excerpt from my latest book, "A Player's Eyes."
When I was seven years old my uncle came by the house to take me to church. My uncle was the coolest, smoothest dude I knew in my brief life up to that point. He was a police detective who rolled like Shaft and looked like Billy Dee Williams. Denzel Washington’s character, Alonzo Harris, from the movie Training Day had nothing on my uncle. So when he got to the house he looked at me and was visibly disappointed. My hair wasn’t combed. Before we left he made sure my hair was right and then we left for church. In the car he let me have it. He actually raised his voice to me. He talked about the importance of looking good. He then asked if I had a girlfriend. I told him no. I’m thinking to myself that I’m seven, what I need with a girlfriend. He told me if I had a girlfriend she would break up with me for looking so raggedy. That was one of my earliest lessons in the game of boy gets girl. The lesson was that looks matter to women.
In the popular culture and indeed in conventional beliefs there is the notion that looks don’t matter to women as much as they do with men. Even when women do say that looks matter they will put it low on the list of priorities of what they want in a man. I’m throwing a flag on that. Fifteen yard penalty for unsportsmanlike bullshit. The reality is that not only do looks matter but they matter more to women than they do to men. This is especially true in sexual matters. When women look for long term partners such as boyfriends and husbands they will look at personality compatibility, social class, money, religious affiliation, political views, education level, and even something as trivial as music tastes. The trick though is that they look for these things in men they find PHYSICALLY attractive. When women say that there is a shortage of “good men” what they really mean is that there is a shortage of “good LOOKING men.”
The looks women want in a man isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about how a woman’s body reacts to the physical nature of a particular man. Women already know what I’m talking about. For the man reading this think about it like this. How often has your dick got hard from seeing a woman with big breasts? Or a nice juicy phat ass? Or long shapely legs? Women are the exact same way. I’ve seen women go into trances because they saw a man with a big chest and big arms. Some women lose their mind if they see the calves on a man. Many women struggle to keep their composure if they see a man’s dick print and it looks like he is packing. Let me give some game here and not that bullshit that passes as game on the Internet being taught by men who can count the number of women they’ve had sex with on one hand. A woman can have an orgasm just from LOOKING at a man.
I had a friend years ago. She was what is known in urban communities as a freak. The more general term now would be “thot,” – “that hoe over there” for those not hip to contemporary slang. Yeah whatever. To me she was a sexually open woman with whom I engaged in phone sex with every now and then because she lived in another state. We would talk with each other in general about our sexual experiences. I remember we were talking one evening and she described a man she saw at a gas station. She said, “Rom this man’s aura was so strong that when I saw him I had to sit down on the curb.” Just from looking at this man she reacted as if she just had some good dick. Keep in mind that this man didn’t say one word to her. He might not have noticed her. Many women do this. They will see a man and something in them will shift. Over the years I’ve seen women stop in their tracks when they saw certain men. Reportedly if a woman’s pupils dilate, her cervix will contract. The contraction of the cervix is one type of orgasm a woman can have. Are you making the connection?
When a woman looks at a man she looks for sexual worthiness. Many women will publically admit that they know within a few seconds of meeting a man whether or not they will have sex with him. They will put him into a Select or Non-Select category. If she puts him into the Select category she will give him a chance to seduce her. At that point the man needs to avoid saying or doing anything stupid. If she puts him into the Non-Select category there is nothing he can do to seduce her. Even in those rare cases where a Non-Select man manages to get the girl so to speak he will find that she will treat him in an inferior way. Sex gets rationed and she will likely cheat as soon as a buffed pretty boy decides to return her texts.
Now when I say sexual worthiness a woman is looking at a man’s body build, his face to see if he is kissable, and even how he moves. To put it in the terms of a young woman I knew back in the day, “Is he fuckable?” Many men approach a woman thinking that if they say the right combination of words, make her laugh, or in some cases put her down they can seduce her. Sorry Charlie, that woman made her decision within five seconds of seeing you. If she talks to you anyway it’s more for her entertainment, and the number you just got may be fake, and if it’s real she’ll ignore your texts.
I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you.
Some men are still going to be in denial of what I just wrote. Even some sexually repressed women. I’ll get to the men in second. I’ve made an observation about women who say looks don’t matter. If they are not outright lying they are sexually repressed and honestly believe what they are saying. I’ve noticed one thing in talking with these women over the years. Well let me back up a bit. My smooth uncle taught me a lot about how to get information out of people. When he talked to crime suspects they would confess to crimes that he didn’t arrest them for. He would catch them for one thing and they would tell him about fifteen more crimes. His secret was that he would get them so comfortable they would become chatterboxes. I watched him growing up as he dealt with people so I learned the same skills. As an aside, old school players didn’t give seminars or have online videos. The only way to learn from them was if they let you hang around them. They rarely told you anything directly. With the sexually repressed women I would get them so comfortable around me they would tell me some interesting things. For them looks definitely mattered but the more repressed a woman is the more perfect a man has to be to turn her on sexually. Indeed one will find with these women that they tend not to have boyfriends or even a good maintenance man. They will tend to have a lot of males as platonic friends. Are you going to tell me that at least one of these men doesn’t have the personality characteristics she says are important? Think on this.
Men are in denial because of one major thing. The average man knows he is just that, average. A man can look in the mirror and can see he isn’t the tallest man, or the most muscular. The average man knows he isn’t going to make money with his face. Over the centuries men would focus on what they could control which was their ability to provide for a woman, their ability to protect a woman, and their ability to talk to a woman. What developed was the false belief that a man’s physical appearance wasn’t as important. It was always important to a woman but it was also important that she had food in her stomach. Women had to attach themselves to the man most willing to take care of them. What’s changed is that women don’t need a man to survive anymore. They can get their own money now and pay for what’s needed for survival. Women still need good dick though. Take away the “protect and provide” angle and the fuckable aspect of a man becomes more prominent. What has happened is that women are free to go after men based on nothing else but pure lust. Many men are still stuck in that 1950’s paradigm. Feminism and the sexual revolution took care of that. Now there are still women who look for a man to protect and provide for them but they are looking for him in buffed package.
Some men are reading this and are still going to be in denial. They will say something to the effect of money and being able to talk to women with “good game” as being more important than looks. They are still important, but they are secondary concerns. Some women don’t even care about those things. There are plenty of kept men out there. I’ve known a few such men in my day. The women will work on some high paying job and the role of the man was simply to stay looking good and fuck the woman’s brains out when she got home. That’s just the underground shit. The maintenance man game is a street hustle not talked about on the Internet and in most relationship forums and seminars. The most public equivalent are male escorts who advertise on the Internet. Knowing an actual street gigolo is roughly the equivalent of knowing real hitman. Yeah it’s that deep. That may be another book. Just to let you know that I’m not talking out the side of my neck about a woman’s sexual nature being more visual I’m going to provide a few real life examples which anyone of reasonable intelligence can explore on their own.
Let me share a story with you. When my book, Nice Guys and Players, was first published I sold several copies at an expo back in 2000. My girlfriend and I set up my vending table. As we were setting up we noticed that some very muscular brothas were setting up across from us. Their only product was calendars with their pictures in them. Maybe three other groups of muscular brothas set up near us as well. It turns out that these men were exotic dancers. What happened over the next two days confirmed what I had written in my book. Women were packed in our little section of the convention center where the expo was held. In addition to me and the dancers a photographer had set up a booth to take pictures. He stayed busy as young and old women would drag different dancers over to take pictures with them. Over the years I have known male strippers who made drug dealer type money. Half of them really can’t dance. There are videos on the Internet of women making it rain for male dancers. I’ve known about groups of women who would rent out hotel rooms and pay several thousand dollars for dancers to entertain them. They were doing more than dancing. These men weren’t there because of their financial portfolios or their stimulating conversations. These women wanted their bodies.
Another example is sex tourism. There’s a lot of talk of men going on sex vacations to different parts of the world. Many people publically act disgusted by the practice. What’s not talked about is that women engage in sex tourism just as much if not more than men. There’s been some videos about women going to places like Jamaica and Kenya as sex tourists. That’s been going on for years. I first heard about women being sex tourists in the mid-eighties from women who engaged in the practice. In the late-eighties I knew several men from the Caribbean who said they “knew” men who catered to tourists. It’s an unofficial economic engine in some places. Once again these women are not going for a stimulating convo. They want a man with a tight ass body. Women pay for what they value. If they weren’t turned on sexually by a man’s body there wouldn’t be male strippers and many Caribbean islands would have to replace a major economic driver.
Go in any major bookstore to the romance section. The male protagonists in these books aren’t soft body fellows with good hearts and lots of money. Whether the male romantic interest is a biker or a billionaire with issues the men are always described as physically attractive. If women weren’t turned on by a man’s looks the covers to romance novels would look very different. Many books have sold copies for no other reason than that there was a handsome man on the cover. On the cover to my book, Sexual Chemistry, I used a picture of myself wearing a wife beater. I was told by one of my distributors that many WOMEN bought the book, which is primarily directed at men, because of the picture. I did a book signing one time and a woman kissed the cover of one of my books and then tried to kiss me!
The final example I want to use may make people squeamish but it has to be said because not publically recognizing that women are sexually aroused by visual cues can have serious emotional repercussions for many men. Every week it seems there is some story about a female teacher being convicted of sleeping with an underaged boy. Now people may say the women were mentally sick or some other excuse that ignores the obvious. These women slept with these young boys because the young boys looked good to them. Every other explanation is bullshit and is best left to defense attorneys who are trying to keep their clients out of prison. In many of these cases the teachers didn’t just rape some young boy. In most cases these teachers were in relationships with these boys. These are just the teachers. Every neighborhood has at least one woman who the smart mothers in that area keep an eye on. A woman knows when somebody is looking at her baby boy in that way. Since the sixth grade at any given time I knew at least one teenage boy who was getting his dick sucked by a woman old enough to be his mother. This is a game my Grandmother hipped me to so I know all about it. I pay close attention whenever an older woman is around my sons. I will publically debate any man or woman on this issue because it’s personal for me. That’s all you need to know.
These older women ain’t getting with these young boys to be provided for and protected. What a teenaged boy have to offer a grown-ass woman? He doesn’t have any resources. He’s still sleeping in same bunk bed he’s had for years. He doesn’t have that thing called “game.” Real game is knowledge about life. A teenager regardless of how mature he may be otherwise only has limited life experience. He can’t game a grown-ass woman who has reasonable intelligence. The young boy has one trump card and one trump card only with the older woman: his body. Regardless of how a woman wants to rationalize the situation a young boy really has nothing else to offer.
The bottom line with all of this is that it’s the very nature of women to be turned on sexually by simply looking at a man. Looks matter and a man’s “look” matters. Not only are women are looking at a man’s body build, and facial features but are checking out his overall appearance. Women are checking out a man’s haircut, his facial hair grooming, his clothes, his jewelry, and especially his shoes. I’m going to play the race card here. Being fit and looking fly has been the base of the game learned in Black communities for decades. It’s still there. There’s a BIG difference between what passes as game on white male dominated Internet forums and taught in expensive seminars and what a Black kid in Chicago or Washington DC will know. What the inner city kid knows is that it’s about the look. If a woman doesn’t like a man’s look there is very little he can do to get her. This knowledge is shared in my books.
This is something sexually frustrated men really need to think on. These are direct quotes from my books. Take your time with this.
A woman feels good when she is aroused. A man who can appeal to a woman’s senses and mind will usually be chosen. An aroused woman is under a powerful influence. She is under romantic intoxication. Romance, when you break it down, is nothing more than a form of arousal. Those flowers, dinners, and getaways are designed to arouse women. Romance novels are popular for that reason. Romantic intoxication is worse than any other addiction. Women will change personalities while addicted to romance. They become more excited, their skin tingles, they get butterflies, and they begin to glow. Women have left their families, jobs, and friends to feed this addiction. A woman will sleep with her best friend’s husband while romantically intoxicated. Players can keep a woman in a state of romantic intoxication. Nice guys fail to do this. A man skilled in the art of arousal, yes, it is an art, can manipulate a woman to the point where he can get anything he wants from her. Good, responsible men need to develop their arousal skills not only to keep their women happy but also to protect them from the more predatory players. The man who masters the art of arousing his woman need not fear competition.
From Nice Guys and Players
One of the biggest complaints women have about their relationships with men is that they are not being sexually fulfilled. This is part of the reason so many women chase after Mr. Goodbar. He is perceived to be able to satisfy women. Sometimes a woman may not be completely satisfied even with a Mr. Goodbar. A woman’s sexual satisfaction partly falls on her own shoulders so the fault is not entirely the man’s even though a woman may want to believe this. Many women have issues with sexuality that must be dealt with before they can truly enjoy sex. A discussion of these issues is a book in itself. Men, however, must develop themselves and their sexual techniques to the best of their ability.
From Sexual Chemistry
One of the most talked about issues in male-female relationships is the subject of good girls and bad boys. The reason good girls fall for bad boys is the sensuality projected by these men. These men, be they rock star, pro athlete, or drug dealer are connected with their primal maleness. This alone sets them apart from most men. To make it in any profession be it music, sports, or illegal activity, a man has to have control over his primal instincts. Rock stars, no matter how crazy they act, have to practice their music and deal with business matters. Pro athletes have to practice many hours because they may be cut from the team for making a costly mistake during the game. Drug dealers have to be very disciplined or they wind up in jail or dead. Applied to interactions with women, the man is turning the women on by his primal maleness but his disciplined nature keeps his primal maleness from harming her.
From Meeting Attractive Women
Using the term, “Mr. Goodbar” is not a random piece of slang. One woman said it meant a man had a good dick. Not really. “Mr. Goodbar” is more of an allegory of what women experience with this type of man. Most women like chocolate and I don’t mean in a racial sense. Give most women something with chocolate in it, be it a candy bar or an ice cream sundae and they will derive great PLEASURE from eating that chocolate. Some women will even get mild orgasms from eating chocolate. Mr. Goodbar is a human version of that piece of chocolate. She wants to indulge as much as possible in his presence. Her body chemistry will literally change when she is around this man. This chemistry produces a state of euphoria in the woman that is similar to the feeling a person gets when they drink alcohol. The woman in Mr. Goodbar’s presence is in a state of romantic intoxication. An overwhelming majority of women are addicted to getting this feeling of intoxication, this euphoria, this PLEASURE. Women are just like junkies in this regard. Instead of tapping their arms for their fix, they tap their thighs. The Players and Bad Boys are not delivering this drug on a street corner. These men are delivering this drug in bedrooms, offices, storage rooms, and sometimes in back alleys.
Here’s something deep for you. The key to where a man stands with women is his ability to deliver this drug, this euphoria, this intoxication. We will call this drug, “Pleasure.” The biggest mistake most men make is not knowing how women see them. Many men see themselves as Alpha Males. They will have kick-ass manager jobs or successful businesses making big money. They will be above average in looks and height. They will have homes and cars. Same type of men I described in the previous section. Yet they will struggle in their relationships with women. They may get sex but not from the Dimes. They may have to settle with the Plain Jane with a slight attitude. These men don’t get the best women because they are unable to deliver the Pleasure. When the average woman is looking at a man she is looking for clues that he can deliver that good stuff. Many men despite what they have going on for them materially and how confident they are they don’t think in terms of delivering Pleasure. Indeed most men when they get a little bit of money feel like women should fall over them. They see the woman as an accessory to their lives, a trophy to be won if the woman is a Dime. Knowing that women judge men according to their ability to deliver Pleasure it then shines a different light on the sexual hierarchy of how women see men.
From A Player’s Eyes
Think on this.
The following is a chapter from my latest book, "A Player's Eyes." The title was based on a book I read back in the early nineties called "In Search of Goodpussy" by Don Spears. Check it out and really think about what I'm saying.
One of the first relationship books I read back in the day was by a gentleman named Don Spears. The book was called, “In Search of Goodpussy.” Yeah that was the title. The gist of the book was about how men, particularly Black men, were looking for love in their relationships. Don Spears covered a lot of issues that are still relevant today even though his book was published in 1991. One chapter was entitled, “Incompatibility and Unrealistic Expectations.” In that chapter he said the biggest reasons relationships fail is that the two people were incompatible with each other and that they had unrealistic expectations that such a relationship would work. Let’s look at the unrealistic expectation piece first.
The biggest single problem in male/female relationships is that most people are not realistic in searching for a mate. You have plain looking, average shaped women with boring personalities thinking they can get a top tier male. These women will not only reject men who are more in their league as far as looks and personality but they will do so with an attitude. Even when they manage to hook up with a Select Man in most cases they are not really compatible. Bomb sex doesn’t mean that two people need to be together outside the bedroom. Dude could just have that good dick which he shares with five other women. Yet Plain Jane thinks its love when she is really just a cool booty call. Then when Plain Jane realizes that Mr. Goodbar doesn’t love her all men become dogs until she starts to swoon in the arms of another sexy dude.
The bad part in all of this is that her Plain Jane girlfriends will encourage her in this. They know their girl don’t look good in those yoga pants and that she should stop doing her own hair. They will be the main ones saying that pretty boy don’t know what he’s missing out on. Her girlfriends ain’t being honest with her because they want to believe they can get a rich pretty boy too.
The irony is that Plain Jane will have an Average Joe who is feeling her basic looking self, even with the muffin top. She can even be in a relationship with him. Average Joe treats her well, holds her hand in public, and is even decent in bed. Of course her jealous girlfriends start getting in her ear about how she could do better. Average Joe is just a regular looking dude who could stand to lose some weight and needs to buy clothes from places other than a discount store. Plus her girlfriends are jealous that Jane has a man at all as no one is blowing up their phones or liking their pictures on social media. Jane starts listening to her girlfriends and kicks Average Joe to the curb for some minor shit. Story don’t end there though.
Few women will kick a man to the curb without having another man in mind. Jane has been checking out this tall muscular dude she has been seeing around the mall where she works, Dexter Goodbar. Dude starts being friendly to Jane after she had said hi to him every time she saw him for a month. Her sexual interest shows all over her face so Dexter marks her for sex somewhere down the road. Jane, being in her fantasy world thinks she has a chance so after getting rid of Average Joe she fixes her hair a bit and starts wearing body shaping garments under her clothes. She even shops for new outfits and finally joins a gym. Dexter takes notice and gives her his number. She blows up his phone and friends him on social media. They eventually have sex after he invites her over to chill. They go hot and heavy for a month before he decides to kick her to the curb. A Dime made herself available to him and he didn’t want to be seen in public with Jane anyway.
Plain Jane goes into depression because she realized that she was just a sex toy for Goodbar as he never went out with her. To add to that depression she finds out that Average Joe is now going out with one of the women who told her to get rid of Average Joe to begin with. The problem was Plain Jane wasn’t realistic as to who she was and the type of man she could actually get.
It’s just as bad for men. There are many Non-Select men who can probably get a decent woman. That woman will not be a Dime though. For every woman who is insistent on getting an A-1 man there is a woman who has enough common sense to be good with an Average Joe. Thing is, many Average Joes don’t want those women. Dude is plain-looking or even ugly. He isn’t tall, doesn’t have an athletic body, and has very little style as far as dressing. His personality is dull. Yet many of these men because they have a steady job with decent pay think they should get a Dime. Not just a Dime but a Dime who will fuck them like a pornstar. I’ve heard numerous Average Joes articulate this in one form or another.
These men don’t seem to grasp that a beautiful woman who is good at sex will want a similar man. A woman know she got a pretty face, firm breasts, a small waist, and a phat round ass. Good genes gave her the face and three hours in the gym, six days a week gave her the body. Her hard work on her job supplemented by men with big credit limits paid for her hair and tight dresses. The fuck will this Dime want with some homely, pudgy, or skinny dude who can’t engage her in a stimulating conversation? There are some men who honestly think a Dime wants a fucked up looking dude humping her for three minutes. A Dime more so than a Plain Jane wants Mr. Goodbar. The more a woman is in good physical shape especially internally the more she will be aroused by a man with a great body.
Many Average Joes, Good Guys, Nerdy Guys, and Gamesmen think they have a real chance with a Dime. It’s easier to lie to themselves instead of doing the work necessary to become desirable. After the Non-Select men get rejected for the umpteenth time they either withdraw from the game or take to the Internet where they can call women bitches and thots.
The problem comes down to people not staying in their lane. Many men and women want that ideal figure as opposed to the person they can actually get. So many men and women are chasing unicorns and then get depressed when they don’t find that special person. It’s not that the person don’t exist, it’s just that the person may not look like someone’s romantic ideal on the surface. I’m not saying go for someone who is physically unattractive to you. It’s just that often when people are chasing Dexter Goodbar or Julie Dime they pass over decent people right in their midst. People who are not only decent looking but have compatible personalities.
So many people out here are looking for surface shit. Thing is being attracted to the outer shell is normal and necessary in a balanced relationship. Notice I said balanced. Fuck political correctness, a person needs to like to look at their mates. The problem is that people put so much stock in the outer that they miss the inner. That’s why a lot of men and women get burned. You might like a person’s face and body but what if that person practices a value system that is in opposition to your own? The physical aspect of the relationship will be good for a few months but problems will occur once the value systems and personalities start to show themselves.
I’ve known several Dimes in my life. Some were compatible to my personality and some were not. It didn’t make anyone bad but any relationship with the incompatible women beyond sex would have caused me mental anguish. So many men chase these incompatible women anyway. Yeah they look good to family and friends but behind closed doors many men are getting their asses kicked emotionally. I’ve had men tell me the vile shit some women did to them and they would always end the conversation with, “she had a phat ass though.”
I’ve known a few extremely handsome men in my life. It would seem like they had it made. Nope they got their foul shit too. I’ve not only known these men, I’ve known their women as well. The women found out the hard way that all that glitters is not gold. Piercing eyes and a pretty smile have fucked up many a woman’s head. The problem was that women didn’t think in terms of compatibility. A handsome man making a woman laugh is just that, a handsome man making a woman laugh. If a man look good enough he could say “poo poo” in a monotone voice and the woman will think it’s the funniest and sexiest thing she has ever heard. A muscular body can make a man a comic genius to a horny woman. This doesn’t speak to whether they are compatible yet a woman will think they are right for each other.
Ultimately people need to balance how they choose a mate. First they have to be realistic. If a man is 5’7”, twenty pounds overweight, with an average face, and sporadic employment history it would be unrealistic for him to think that a 5’11” Dime with a killer body and high paying job is going to want him. The woman who might feel him may be plain looking with extra weight around her stomach. Thing is she is shorter than him and will tolerate his inability to keep a steady job as long as he treats her right. She even thinks he’s cute.
If a woman is plain faced, slim, without any curves or breasts, and dull personality it isn’t realistic to think she’ll get a tall muscular man with money and charisma. Only in poorly written romance novels does this happen. If she does get such a man he will likely use her to do things sexually his girlfriend or wife doesn’t want to do. The best man for this woman is someone who likes slim and quiet women who may be average looking with a modest income and equally dull personality.
Bottom line is that people have to have realistic expectations of potential mates and they have to be compatible.
The following excerpt is from my upcoming book, "A Player's Eyes." In this excerpt I explain the real reason women, particularly smart and educated women, fall prey to Players and Bad Boys.
The reason women get played is not because they lack common sense, love thugs, or have a sign on their foreheads that says, “Victim.” The reason women get played is because of their egos. The women who get played the most are the ones who think they are the bomb. Even though all women can and do get played there is one type that gets played the most. I will call that woman the Smart Woman. The Smart Woman is usually educated. If she isn’t educated she may have had enough intelligence to work her way up to a high paying job. The Smart Woman has money. She has a home and material goods. As far as physical appearance she will be somewhere between decent looking to slightly above average. She’s definitely not ugly but no one will mistake her for a Dime. From most men’s point of view the Smart Woman will be considered girlfriend or wife material. Now here’s where it gets interesting. I said “most men’s point of view.” The men who will indeed have a high regard for the Smart Woman will be the same men that most women see as non-select.
As I said Smart Women think they are the bomb. Non-Select men agree with them. The Good Guys who are realistic see these women as perfect compliments. No these women aren’t Dimes but to the Good Guys who like them, they are. They want a good moral woman to come home to and that’s what the Smart Woman looks like. Many Good Guys want to build with these women. The problem is that the Good Guys aren’t good enough for the Smart Woman. Smart Women don’t see good men they can build a family with. Smart Women see men who are too short, too slim, too fat, and not handsome enough. They don’t see a man who has worked hard to get where he is. They see a man who is not making enough money, who may not have finished college, who is blue collar, and who lives in a modest apartment instead of a big townhouse. The Good Guys don’t have what the Smart Women want.
The Smart Women want Mr. Goodbar and the Masked Man. They want the man who can make them scream. It’s more than that though. They want the top men period. Women are very competitive with each other. They want the man that other women want. They want to be able to say they got THE ONE! This is a key aspect of a woman’s game. Some women are realistic enough to be happy for what they can actually get. Dude may be short and pudgy but he loves them and will always do right by them. That ain’t good enough for the Smart Woman. She wants that tall, handsome, built man with degrees and money. Some will even reject Goodbar if he isn’t classically handsome or broke. Here’s the funny thing. In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with a woman going for the top man. Go for it girl! Get yo man! The problem that pops up is that the top men don’t see the Smart Women in the same light.
There was a Masked Man I knew years ago. He said something that summed up what I heard other Masked Men say over the years in one way or the other. He mocked Smart Women by saying, “I’m educated. I have a house and car. I keep my hair fixed and wear nice clothes. I’m 250 lbs. I can’t figure out why men don’t want me.” Men in general don’t care about woman’s accomplishments and material possessions. The few that do usually do so because they may be in a social circle where being with a person who projects a certain image is important. Usually in upper middle class social groups. In general that shit don’t matter or is at least not the first thing men notice. When men talk with other men about a woman they just met they don’t talk about her degree, her profession, or her big house. They say she pretty with a phat ass. To Select Men most Smart Women are average at best. When a man doesn’t see a woman as a Dime he will not give her his best. This is especially the case if he has numerous women to choose from. Each sub-category of the Select will respond to Smart Women in interesting ways.
Mr. Goodbar sees most women as sex partners. For the most part the Goodbars are the ones stroking the Dimes. Smart Women usually don’t appear on a Goodbar’s radar. When they do the Smart Woman is usually nothing more than physical gratification. Even then she probably had to work hard and spend money to get Goodbar’s attention. At some point the Smart Woman’s emotions become involved and she falls in love with Goodbar. Goodbar on the other hand just likes her doggy style. At some point the Smart Woman becomes a burden and Goodbar moves on. He usually has other women anyway. Now of course the Smart Woman feels that Goodbar took advantage of her. She forgets that she chased him and not the other way around. She really played herself.
Now the Masked Man is a completely different story. A Goodbar may not set out to intentionally dog a woman. The Masked Man may make it his life mission to do so. Now this isn’t all Masked Men yet there a sizable number who will intentionally hurt a woman emotionally. The Masked Man didn’t start out as Select. He had to work to get there. Physically he had to hit the gym hard. He had to build his body, he had to work on his grooming, his dental work, and his clothing style. That’s just the physical piece. He also had to go through college and maybe graduate school. For the few blue collar Masked Men they had to put in long hours to learn and master their craft. The Masked Man had to pay some dues. The issue is that while they were paying their dues they had very little female companionship. When these men were Non-Select they got rejected for numerous reasons. I knew this dude who eventually became a high paid attorney. He said while he was in school women rejected him because he didn’t have money to spend on them. Never mind he was in school to become an attorney. I’ve heard plenty of stories like that. The irony is that once many of these men started making money the same women that rejected them would get real friendly saying something like, “I knew you were going places. I always thought you were fine.” Really? What happens is the Masked Man has had years to build up some resentment. There’s another dynamic with this.
When the Masked Man was just a Good Guy he wanted the Smart Woman. She just didn’t want him back. Once he crosses the boundary into the Select World that Smart Woman doesn’t look as good to him anymore. This is even in situations where her physical appearance hasn’t faded. The Masked Man got his money right, his house and car are big, his body is muscular and he can wear expensive tailor made suits. Dude wants a Dime to complete the picture. He’ll be cool as long as he dealing with a Dime. When he deals with a Smart Woman he will treat her in an inferior way. All this pain and frustration he has carried for years will be taken out on a Smart Woman even though she may genuinely be attracted to him.
Years ago I did a radio show where I talked specifically about men who dog women. I told the beautiful host that the biggest and most dangerous dogs are not trying to talk to women in the streets. The biggest dogs aren’t some men with their pants hanging off their ass. The most doggish men, the ones who make it their life mission to hurt women, are often the ones who are professionals with corporate jobs. It’s all part of a vicious cycle. Smart Women think they should get the top men and reject men who aren’t there. When those men get to the top they reject those same women that rejected them.
I had to speak on this. I’ve heard so many women complain about not finding a good man but it’s always their egos that get in the way. A woman can have five Good Guys chasing her but because she thinks she’s the woman she wants Mr. Goodbar or the Masked Man. Then she will have the nerve to complain that there is a “shortage of good man.” She get out her ego and humble herself she will see that there are several men for her to choose from. Her ego though makes her chase that man who may dog her. Many men are told to stay in their lanes when looking for mates. That good piece of advice works both ways.