So the question must now be if Rom doesn’t teach game, how can I get women?  I’ll say this.  Game does work.  There is no disputing that.   A man using game can definitely get women.  Even at the rudimentary level that is being taught by dating coaches and seduction gurus.   The real issue is what type of women are receptive to game.   The women most receptive to a man running game on them are not the top quality women men pay hundreds of dollars for books and seminars to meet.   The women most receptive to game tend to be either plain Janes or simply ugly, overweight, low self-esteem females who lack street smarts.   Even the physically attractive women who seem to be receptive to game have some things going on.  The attractive women tend to be promiscuous anyway and quite frankly will have sex with a man whether he used game or not.    If I wanted to teach game I would simply teach men how to tell if a woman is promiscuous or easy regardless of her mask.   My point in all this is that men using game are not getting the best they can get.   They are getting grocery store hamburgers instead of steakhouse Filet Mignons.  So what should a man do?

            First thing a man needs to understand is that women WANT to have sex.   Many men have the false belief that women are not as interested in sex as men.   As a result many men approach women thinking they have to convince the woman to have sex.   She’ll have sex just maybe not with him.   The first mistake is that men tend to approach women who are not trying to seduce them.  Women are really as sexually aggressive as men.  They just express their aggression in a different way.   Instead of approaching a man, a normal woman will dress, and behave in such a way as to draw a man to her.  Women by nature are seductive.  They want to draw your attention to them.  That’s how they hunt.   A young girl on my day job had a short sexy dress.  I complimented her and said, “You’re hunting aren’t you?” She answered, “Yeah I’m looking for a new man.”   A man doesn’t really need game to get a woman.  He simply needs to pay attention.   If he pays attention he will notice that at least one woman has been trying to seduce him.   The key for a man is to develop himself into the type of man a woman will want to seduce.

            The first thing a man has to do is develop his physical sex appeal.  Women are turned on by a man’s body period.   A woman has to be able to look at a man and want to PHYSICALLY have sex with him.   Forget all that mess about WORDS turning a woman on.   A man’s body turns a woman on, period.   Now let me explain why it seems like a man’s words turn a woman on.   Women are moved primarily by emotion.  They are built that way.   Men need to stop expecting women to be rational.  They can be but they are primarily moved by emotion.  A woman’s emotions are moved by her hormones.  That’s why a woman’s moods changes by the week, even day to day.   Now what women do is rationalize their emotions.   Let me get Dexter Goodbar in here to illustrate my point.   A married woman, Gwen, meets Dexter at a store he owns.   She immediately lusts him.   Dexter picks up on it and immediately hits her with his sexually enticing conversation.   Gwen wants him bad because her lust is affecting her emotions.   She starts thinking that her husband isn’t attentive or that good in bed.   What she is doing is rationalizing her desire to sleep with Dexter.   She sleeps with Dexter and tells her friends.   Instead of saying that she was simply turned on by Dexter’s body she says that he said all the right things.   The truth is that Dexter was trying to get a sale and his best sales technique with women is to flirt with them.   Gwen had decided she was going to sleep with Dexter when she first laid eyes on him.   She just had to rationalize her choice.

            Men need to understand the reality of a woman’s sexual aggression.   If there is a man thinking he still thinking he needs game let me share this.   There are plenty of stories in the media about female teachers having sex with underaged male students.   Those are just teachers.   There are many older women who seduce and sleep with teenaged boys.  Something I’ve NEVER shared before but I will do so now.   When I was seventeen I had a brief relationship with an older woman.  I don’t want give away the details.  I didn’t see it as abuse or a bad thing.  It’s just something that happened.   The thing about it though is that I didn’t use any type of game.  I just allowed myself to be seduced.   She was pretty and besides the physical aspect we were both science fiction fans.   My point is that I was able to get her without using any type of game.  She wanted me and I allowed it.

            So a man needs to understand a woman’s true sexual nature as well the need to work on his body.  Just a note about that.  A man does not have to be super-muscular or drop dead handsome to attract a woman.  It doesn’t hurt but if someone isn’t blessed with great genetics he call still turn on a woman physically.   Women like different types of bodies.  Some women like tall and beefy, some like short and slim.   A man needs to work on developing the best body that he can.  He then needs to pay attention to see which women are turned on by his particular body.   All men really don’t need to have movie star looks to get women.   Most women don’t want to be with a man who looks better than they do.  All a man has to be is decent looking with a body that appeals to a particular women.   The only women that tend to want a man that looks better than them are buttaface women.   The reason is that it makes them look good by being able to seduce a good-looking man.   Most men classified as Mr. Goodbar have average to slightly above average faces.   Men who are extremely handsome tend to have issues with women for numerous reasons I’ll get into in a future blog.

            Other than his physical presentation a man needs to work on his overall character.   A man doesn’t need to and shouldn’t change his basic personality to get a woman.  If he is naturally cool and calm he shouldn’t become gregarious because he thinks it will attract women.  Many women are attracted to cool and calm men.   A gregarious man shouldn’t try to be laid back because he thinks it will attract women.   Many women are attracted to gregarious men.   See what many dating coaches and seduction coaches teach men is how to wear a mask.   That’s why so many men fail.   Men have to be themselves.   They have to develop their character.   Too many want to become a clone of someone else.  For example, many men try to emulate pimps because they see how pimps control women.   First of all pimps do is manage women, they don’t control them.   Most women who get with a pimp are naturally promiscuous anyway.   All most pimps do is take advantage of the prostitute’s basic nature.   There are plenty of women out there who sell their bodies for money and they don’t have a pimp.   I first learned of that hustle during my childhood.   I also know some former sugar babies.   People really don’t know how deep the sexual underworld goes.   Yet another future blog.  My point about pimps is that men try to emulate that which they don’t know about.  The books on the market about pimps, even those by pimps, are just the tip of the iceberg.   Ask me how I know.

            When I talk about character that deals more with how some men interact with other people.   The reason most men fail with women is not because they are ugly, or broke, or don’t have game.   Some men are just not likeable.   I was at a wedding reception one time.   I was sitting at the table with a lame ass dude.  We’re at a joyous occasion and all this lame dude was doing was complaining about how women don’t like him.   I guess not.   He really wasn’t likeable as a human being.   He wasn’t the type of person I would invite out with a group for some beers.   Many so-called Nice Guys are whiny and obnoxious.   A woman could be turned on physically by a man and still get turned off when he opens his mouth.   Words won’t seduce a woman but they will sure as hell turn her off.   A man needs to work having a positive character.   Nobody wants to be around a negative individual.  A man who wants to attract women needs to work on being likeable by women.  This doesn’t mean agreeing with everything a woman says.   It means being cool to be around.  A man has to get to the point where a woman wants to be around him because it feels good to her.  A negative man isn’t going to make a woman feel good.

            I use the character of Dexter Goodbar as an example of a man who gets women based on his physical appearance.  A few blogs ago I introduced the character of Jimmy Cool.  Jimmy is Dexter’s cousin.  Jimmy isn’t fine like Dexter but women love him because he is cool to be around.  Let me share another thing about myself.  I attracted many women because they liked how I looked physically.   There were other women I got with who looked at me and said, “He aw’ight.”  There were a few women who didn’t like me all at when I first met them.    I won these women without trying because they were able to get to know me and considered me to be really cool.  For the most part I'm a positive person to be around.   I’m not the type who complains a lot.   If I complain publically about something I usually try to come up with a solution.   See I was a person women liked being around even if I wasn’t having sex with them or spending money on them.  I’ve always had a lot of female friends.  Ironically I’ve only heard the term “I only see you as a friend” a few times.   Those women who friendzoned me were women I either eventually had sex with or they expressed a desire to do so.  All because I stayed cool and kept a positive character.

            This doesn’t need to be too complicated.   Instead of taking the shortcut of game and getting subpar women a man needs to develop his body and his character.  The more his body and character is developed the better the quality of women who will try to seduce him.   At the end of the day that’s what it’s all about: a  man being the best version of himself and getting the best out of life.

            One of the greatest mysteries of life is why a small group of men seem to have sex with a multitude of women while a large percentage of men struggle to get a simple hello from the same women.  This issue is addressed from many different angles notably dating coaches.   Doesn’t work too well for most men though.  Many quite frankly have been scammed out of thousands of dollars and in many cases have a worse time relating to women.   The reason is that most men have the wrong perspective.  There is the belief that women are not as interested in sex as men.   This is a universal false belief.   Women want sex as much as and in many cases more than men.    Let me give my view on things.

            All people have two faces.  They have a social face and a sexual face.   The social face of a person is what the public sees.  When I say public I include friends and family.   This is the outer person that works, goes to church, shops for groceries, and appears to be a stable member of society.   The sexual face is the person in the bedroom who engages in threesomes and alternative sexual practices.   The point is that the sexual face may be different or even contradictory to the social face.   Now here’s the interesting thing.   For many men their social face and their sexual face are nearly the same.   There is no real stigma for men to express their sexuality.   It’s even encouraged in certain venues such as the sports fields and construction sites.   Not so with women.   Most women only show subtle hints of their sexual face and in many cases are shamed by men for even showing that little bit.   As a result the average man confuses a woman’s social face for her sexual face.

            When most men approach women they try to appeal to her social face thinking it will trigger sexual attraction.   The average man will try to show that he is SOCIALLY dominant by talking about his status, or using pickup lines, or appealing to her logically or emotionally.   The bottom line is that he is trying to TALK her into finding him attractive which is really just appealing to her social face.   Depending on the man this may work if he is able to fulfill the woman’s social needs.  She may want to enhance her social face by being in a relationship with a man that looks good to the public.   Thus many men think that they can get a woman with a good conversation, a mouthpiece as the Macks would say, or routines as the Pickup Artists (PUA) use for seduction.   Most men, however, fail to get women through talking.  Most make the mistake of thinking that they can talk a woman into giving them sex.

            My homie Roger, the star of the “Do The Work” blog entry had this say via text:

            “Man a lot of dudes esp. PUA’s approach women like it’s sales.   Overcoming objections with words.  Engaging a woman’s mind is useless.  Even if she gives you the pussy it won’t be good cause she’s battling in her head.”

            What Roger is saying is that though a woman may be socially attracted to a man she may not be sexually attracted.   Now Roger has read my books, Nice Guys and Players and Sexual Chemistry and has had the benefit of talking with me for years.   He understands the concept of a woman’s social face being different from her sexual face.   A man cannot appeal to a woman’s sexual face through logic and contrary to popular opinion through emotions.   A woman’s sexual face is dominated by her vagina.  A woman’s vagina makes her sexual decisions for her and is RATIONALIZED by her logic, emotions, and other SOCIAL considerations.

            Consider the following scenario starring Dexter Goodbar.   The title of this scenario is, “So Who’s Your Friend?”

*************

            Dexter Goodbar went to a private party at a hotel with some friends of his, John, Rob, and Frank.   Rob called the party a “Beautiful People Party.”  The attendees were primarily young, professional African-American men and women.  Most of the men were dressed up in suits with fresh haircuts and confident demeanors.   They gave off “Alpha Male” vibes.   The women were dressed in sexy dresses and looking like they were fashion models.   Dexter Goodbar was dressed in a simple shirt and slacks and quite frankly needed a shape up.   All eyes were on the fellas as they walked into the party.   John, Rob, and Frank immediately picked out women to strike up conversations with.  Dexter headed over to the buffet table, got some buffalo wings and found a table in the corner to sit down and eat.

            John approached a petite young lady who introduced herself as Pamela.  They talked for a bit about their jobs and the vibe of the party. 

            “I’ve been having a good time so far,” Pamela smiled.

            John looked Pamela up and down, “You look like you’re having a good time.  I’m enjoying the party already.”

            “I saw you walk in with a group of brothas.   Y’all turned a lot of heads.”

            “Yeah we’re looking good,” John said smugly thinking that Pamela was feeling him.

            Pamela looked toward the corner where Dexter was sitting and asked John. “So who’s your friend?”

********

            Rob was on the floor dancing with Barbara.   Barbara was a curvy sista with big breasts, small waist, and big booty and legs.   Rob focused intently on Barbara as they danced.  Barbara however seemed to be constantly looking past Rob.   After the song finished they walked off the floor.  Rob told her about his job, his future plans, his education, and the home he just bought.   Barbara responded politely but didn’t say much letting Rob talk.   Rob finished talking about himself and asked Barbara about her goals and ambitions.  

            “Nothing special.  Just getting my masters,” Barbara responded.   “That guy you walked in with.  What’s his name?”  

            “Which guy?” Rob asked, slightly annoyed, thinking she was talking about John or Frank.

            “That one over there in the corner eating the chicken wings.”  Barbara pointed to Dexter.   “So who’s your friend?”

********

            Frank chatted up Alicia, a slim sista with a pretty face, while they were in line getting some food.   The conversation was going well in Frank’s eyes.  She seemed like she was interested.   They got their food and looked around for a place to sit.   Every table had a group of people except for Dexter’s table where he was by himself.   Alicia started walking towards the table without saying anything to Frank.  Frank caught up with her.

            “So you want to sit over here in the corner?” Frank asked.

            “Yeah, I don’t think he will mind,” Alicia answered as they walked towards the table.

            “He shouldn’t. I know the brotha,” Frank said reluctantly.

            “Really? So who’s your friend?” Alicia asked a little too cheerfully as her pace quickened.

*********

            Dexter didn’t get invited to anymore parties with the fellas.

            This scenario illustrates a very important point.  John, Rob, and Frank were SOCIAL alpha males.   They were young, in shape, dressed sharply, and very confident.  These traits appeal to women socially.  The women in the scenario were turned on by Dexter sexually.  Dexter appealed to their SEXUAL faces.

            The true player’s “game” is very simple.   He pays attention to the women around him and looks for clues that a particular woman is turned on sexually by him.   Few people have an understanding of how the true player operates.   They will see the true player talking to a woman and will see that she is definitely interested in seeing him naked.  They will observe his behavior and then try to mimic his actions.   For example some guys at a bar may see a true player rub a woman’s wrist while talking with her.   The woman is responding visibly.  The guys will then try the same thing on different women and fail miserably.   See the true player didn’t turn on the woman by rubbing her wrist.   She was turned on sexually when she first laid eyes on him.

            One of, if not, the biggest myths about women is that they are not turned on visually by a man.   Popular belief suggests that women are turned on by a man’s intelligence, resources, and how he makes them feel emotionally.   These attributes appeal to a woman’s SOCIAL face.   The woman’s SEXUAL face doesn’t care about all of that.   The woman’s sexual face is LOOKING for a man to make her vagina tingle.   When a woman sees a man she considers sexually appealing not only does her pupils dilate but her cervix as well.   A woman can literally have an orgasm just by looking at a man.   Sometimes a man with an intense stare can look a woman in her eyes and make her moan.  Ask me how I know.

            The woman’s sexual face doesn’t want the man’s car, house, job, or status.   The woman’s sexual face wants the man’s body to fuck the shit out of her.   The sexual face wants that raw, primal, scream at the top of the lungs, lose consciousness, speak in tongues, levitate off the bed type of fucking.   Not make love with rose petals and soft music playing in the background.  That’s more of a social thing.    That primal thing is a physical thing.  It doesn’t speak and quite frankly because of the suppression of female sexuality in most cultures, the average woman isn’t aware of her sexual face.   They think their social face represents their sexual nature.

            Until they run into somebody like Dexter Goodbar.  

            That’s why you will have a woman who is in a happy stable marriage in an upper middle class neighborhood all of a sudden run off to live with a man in a seedy neighborhood in an abandoned home.   That man appealed to the woman’s sexual face.

            Now two types of men generally appeal to a woman’s sexual face.   All women have individual preferences but if a man has one of two things going for him he will generally have more women than he knows what to do with.   The first thing is a good body.   People like to say that biggest sex organ is the brain meaning that imagination and creativity make sex enjoyable.  That’s a social thing with people who are sexually repressed.   Sex is a physical thing.  A man can have rose petals, music, chocolate, give massages, and even eat the pussy.   For the actual act of intercourse the woman has to be physically be comfortable with the idea of this man on top of her, under her, and behind her.   She has to physically want to have sex with the man.   This is more about the body than the face.   Many otherwise handsome men have trouble getting women unless they have money and status as well.

            Now the type of body depends on a woman’s preference.   In general women are turned on by muscular bodies.   A man who builds his muscles will always improve his chances to women.   Now some men aren’t as muscular but they have a body type that turns on a particular woman.   I have a friend I’ll call Sabrina.  Now Sabrina is a big girl about five-nine, size 16 but shapely.   She doesn’t have a fat stomach.  Her man, Donny, is six-seven over three hundred fifty solid pounds.  Sabrina and I were talking one day and I said, “Yeah you got that big, hominy grit eating muthafucka because you need somebody who can flip your phat ass over in bed.”  Sabrina busted out laughing and gave me a high five.   All women have a physical body type that get them open sexually.   The only real issue is that that the man who is sexually appealing to a woman is rarely the man who is socially appealing. 

            Think on this one.

            Now there are a minority of men who turn women on sexually but not because they have great bodies.   These men are extremely rare.   Women don’t get turned on by the bodies on these men.  These men get sex because for whatever reason they can appeal to a woman’s sexual face.  These men have sexual charisma.   I’ll use myself as an example.  I worked in an office job back in the day.  I had that Clark Kent thing going.  I wore big glasses and plain clothes to work.   I had a co-worker I’ll call Lauren.   Now Lauren was a self-professed gold-digger.   The type that was known by the pro athletes in DC.  Now I had a good body build but not like a pro-athlete and I certainly didn’t have their money.   It got back to me that Lauren said this about me, “Rom looks like a nerd but I betcha he can fuck.”   Many women will look at an otherwise plain man and get turned on.  

              The true player has mastered the art of paying attention to a woman.   The true player rarely does a cold approach on a woman.   He looks for signs that she is sexually interested.   One thing I have always done is pay attention to how a woman looks at me.   There is a look that I can’t describe, or teach men to look for, when women is turned on by a man.   A man has to experience this look for himself.   This look may last only a second but a woman shows her sexual face in that second.  The true player recognizes the look and acts accordingly if he finds her attractive as well.

            Many men call themselves players and use status, money, and good conversation to get women.   They think it works.   Really it’s irrelevant.  Women make a decision when they first lay eyes on a man as to whether he is potentially a sex partner.  At this point a man can only blow his chances.   Many men blow it by talking too damn much.   Many men focus on developing the wrong things to attract women.   Any man who wants more women needs to focus on building their body and their sexual charisma.  Everything else is just extras.

            A few weeks ago I was driving to the mall with my sons and my cell phone started blowing up with texts.    Since I’m a responsible driver I didn’t look at the texts until I got to the mall and parked my car.   It was about 9 texts from a good friend I’ll call Roger (not his real name).   The texts were about some incidents that happened the day before.   To sum it up Roger had encounters with 6 or 7 women not including his actual girlfriend.   None of these incidents were platonic in nature.  I’ll let your imagination take over from there.    Now in the years I’ve known Roger he’s not the type to make things up.   He’s not one of those cats who will lie on his dick.   

            Now it makes sense that women find Roger attractive.    Men have jealously commented on his looks calling him a “Pretty Ricky.”  Plus he works out religiously.  On top of that he’s a poet/rapper with a pretty good video out.   He also has a strong sales background so he’s not shy about approaching people in general and women in particular.   This wasn’t always the case.

            As a teenager and young adult Roger was a very skinny and shy.   Women weren’t checking for him.   Roger was a frustrated young man.   Instead of going on the internet and complaining about “women wanting bad boys” and whining with other similar men, Roger decided to change his life.   He started first with his shyness.   Roger got involved in sales to specifically address his shyness.   As someone with a sales background myself I can tell you the sales profession cures anyone of shyness.   To succeed you not only have to be comfortable talking with different types of people but you have to become comfortable with rejection.   Even a master salesman will get rejected.   What the master salesman does, however, is not let the rejection bother him.  He learns from the rejection.  

            A few years after getting into sales Roger discovered my books, “Nice Guys and Players” and “Sexual Chemistry.”   My books put an emphasis on developing alpha male qualities.   Under my tutelage as well as Tantra masters Yao Nyamekye Morris and Shantam Nityama, Roger grew from a man who was too shy to talk to women to a man who has women routinely throwing the pussy at him.   I’m not exaggerating.   When women are sexually turned on by a man they become very aggressive.  Ask me how I know.

            The takeaway from this story is that Roger DID THE WORK!!!   The internet is full of websites, blogs, and videos of men who have trouble connecting with women on any level.   The one theme connecting all of this is that women don’t want nice guys, beta males, omega males, etc.   Now a man when faced with a problem can do one of two things.  He can complain with other similarly situated men.   What they are doing is sharing the problem and blaming everything and everyone instead of doing the one thing they need to do:  change the man in the mirror.

            Other men when confronted with the same issue will look in the mirror and make the changes.   A male becomes a man when he takes responsibility for his own life.   A real man will look at his circumstances and instead of blaming everybody else will say, “Things are going to be different.”  A man can only control one thing in his life: himself.   A man has to DO THE WORK!!!   Let me share a story from my past.

            I’m a person who can put on weight easily if I don’t consciously make an effort to work out. Back in the late eighties I was in one of my overweight periods.   I came to a defining moment in my life one evening.   There was a Prince concert.  I took as my date a hot Italian friend of mine I’ll call Maria.  Now me and Maria weren’t quite platonic as we had made out before and grinded at a party.   We had not had intercourse either.   For this concert Maria had on a full body cat suit and some heels.   Damn she was hot and sexy.   So we had a good time at the concert and I was thinking since we had kissed before she would want to have sex.   When I brought it up she told me straight up she didn’t want to because I was so big.   My response was, “okay.”   See most men would be pissed and entitled if they had paid for the date.  One thing about me is that I always learn from rejection and I would rather deal with an honest woman than one trying play me.   

            After that incident I started running to lose weight.   I vowed never to be that close to a woman that hot and sexy and lose out because of my weight which was something I could control.   Now I never did get with Maria sexually but after losing about 30 pounds three equally hot and sexy women sucked my dick within weeks of each other.  Two of these women had previously friendzoned me. The reason was that I DID THE WORK!!!

            Complaining about women and their dating choices doesn’t do any good.   I personally don’t see women changing their criteria because men are complaining on the blogs and videos.   In fact, women tell men what they want by their actions.  Women in general go for assertive men with nice bodies.   Even though women choose the men, men are still expected to approach.    When women choose they choose by being receptive to the man.  The man still has to have the balls to take the initiative.   If a man is shy he needs to do whatever it takes to get over that shyness.   Roger did so by getting into sales.   Another man may do so by speaking to random women throughout his day.   DO THE WORK!!!

            Most men are rejected by women because the women are not PHYSICALLY attracted to them.   Forget all that nonsense in the media about a woman not caring about looks.   A man’s looks includes his body build.   Women are turned on by a man’s body period.   I’ve known male exotic dancers who pull out wads of cash like they’re drug dealers.   There’s always discussions on the internet and in the real world about why women like “Bad Boys.”   People make the mistake of focusing on the personality traits of these men.   The personality traits are virtually irrelevant with the exception of being assertive.   I have had honest conversations with a few thousand women about their preferences in men.   Regardless of the personality traits they desired which was across the board, the women all expressed a preference for a body type.   Most women prefer men with athletic builds.  Not big and bulky like a professional body builder but not quite slim like a basketball player.   There are women, however, who prefer big and bulky, and those who prefer slim.    The bottom line is that women have a body preference.   When men wonder why a woman likes a particular bad boy, I would say ask the woman what she likes in a man physically.   A church going man with the same body type would at least get a look from the woman.   The physical piece is important because a woman has to be sexually attracted to a man.   Contrary to popular sentiment women are as visual as men.   A gym membership will at a minimum draw more attention from women.  The key is that the man has to DO THE WORK!!!

            Ultimately a man has to make a choice.  Does he continue to be lonely and sexually frustrated and blame the world?  Does he do the work to be surrounded by sexy women and have a fulfilling sex life?  

            The real man chooses the second option.  He will DO THE WORK!!!

The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.

When it comes to scoring points with a woman, nice guys definitely finish last. Usually dead last. But Charles did not know this. He confuses the proper conduct for a human socially, with the proper conduct for a male sexually. (Rom’s emphasis) For today many men are led to believe certain things about the attitudes of the modern woman which are contrary to the natural reality. The magazines say the woman wants such and so, and that the man should act thus and so. But the magazines don’t tell the brothers that these things only apply to about 15% of the male population. These are the men from the ‘select’ group who can get away with just about anything and usually do. But if the typical male takes the advice in the articles, and changes to conform to the patterns of behavior dictated, he will sadly discover that nothing has changed in the neighborhood. In the jungle of sexuality Charles will not kill any game unless he acquires the instincts of a hunter. And this is to some extent what Charles is doing. In his interaction with Michelle he finds that he needs to be decisive, to have an agenda. When he is wishy-washy they tend to argue. When he takes charge and is aggressive in the bedroom it seems that Michelle enjoys it better. Charles matures as a result of his relationship with Michelle. And Michelle benefits also. After being together for three years, the relationship has peaked. Charles receives an offer of promotion at the telephone company, but it requires that he move to another city. Michelle decides to stay behind, but they agree to part as good friends.

Charles has gone a long way to shedding his “nice guy” persona. He has developed into a more balanced man. And being in a new environment gives a chance to shape peer perception of him from scratch. Charles no longer feels like the invisible man. Attractive, charismatic women have begun to notice him in the office. At work females flirt with him. They do not flirt with him because of his involvement in community work and church, but because he manifests a more complete masculine persona. It is now time for Charles to relate to a carnal woman, but his relocation causes the cycle to take a little longer than before. But soon Charles meets Wanda, and is reminded by her of a dream he had. He knows at once that she is the next one. Wanda is very attractive, and has the masochistic personality like Elaine. But she is not Elaine and he is not the old Charles. Charles has the same nervous reaction around Wanda that he had a teenager around Beverly. But he is more disciplined man now and it does not show on the outside. He plays it cool with Wanda and they hit it off. The relationship with Wanda however is short. It only lasts a few months. For Charles discovers that she is insecure and somewhat immature for her age. Charles does not realize it, but he is being used by nature to shape Wanda into a more balanced woman. The physical relationship between Wanda and Charles is hot and passionate. It is the most intense lovemaking Charles will ever experience. And this aspect alone keeps Charles in the relationship longer than he would have been otherwise. But that is one of the lessons he must learn, that physical sex is not everything. Soon he learns that lesson, and moves on. He counts the relationship as being unsuccessful but he has gained by it spirituality and carnally and so has Wanda. They part as friends.

Charles spends almost a year in no relationship, because the next female in the cycle would not relate to him. Then he transfers back to the main office, and moves back in to his old neighborhood. In the meantime Elaine has dated several men who treated her badly. After she caught one of them cheating on her with one of her girlfriends, she decided to give a different type of guy a try. So she joined a church. The same church that Charles used to be a member of. It has been several years since she has seen Charles. At church one Sunday she runs into her old friend Charles and they rekindle their friendship. She remembers vividly how kind, concerned and thoughtful he had been to her. Looking at the man before her now, Elaine sees a more confident poised person. The other men in her life had only been macho, but not truly masculine, and each had proved unworthy. Charles was a successful executive now. He owned his own home. And five years of working out and martial arts had created a hard chiseled body. Elaine asked him out for dinner, but Charles refused. He was still attracted to her, but no longer willing to be just a shoulder for her to cry on. He told Elaine how he felt. And although they exchanged telephone numbers, Charles never called Elaine. But the spirits would not let it end there. Charles and Elaine were a good potential match for each other. They were strongly archetype complimentary. The spirits made another effort to bring them together.

There was a former boyfriend of Elaine’s who has abused her. And as “fate” would have it, she ran into him as a club one night. He hounded her and her girlfriend all night. Finally they gave him the slip and left the club. But he followed her home. And he arrived just as her girlfriend was leaving. When she would not open the door for him he became angry. He went to a phone booth nearby and called Elaine and threatened her. In the meantime Elaine had called Charles who lived near her. And Charles arrived on the scene just as the man was kicking down her door. Although the man was bigger, Charles beat him severely. And in so doing he rescued Elaine from a sure beating. The police did not arrive for another fifteen minutes. After that crisis Elaine and Charles saw each other in another light. And each began to se that maybe mistakes could be forgiven, and old misconceptions erased. The next night Elaine came to visit Charles. And that might they both tried to make up for all of the love each other had been missing for the better part of their lives. For Charles and Elaine the alternating cycle of attraction was completed.

Amanmere pp. 219 –220

  Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is http://www.oraclekhemsanu.com/