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Big Rom Remix: Acculturated Prostitution

11/29/2015

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The following blog was originally published back in February 2015.   It addressed an issue that is having a major effect on male/female relationships.

**************************

            In my books and blogs I talk about different categories of men and how they relate to women.   For the most part women agree with the characterizations.   There have been many occasions when a woman has offered even more categories.   Some of these women will also complain about the games that men play in order to get sex.   Okay that’s cool.   The only issue I have with this is that many women try to come off as if they are innocent actors in the world of sexual politics.  

            Yeah right.

            Women got their stuff too.   I would even argue that with that thing called Game the average woman runs circles around most men.   As I raise my sons I’ll probably spend more time teaching them how to spot a woman’s games than I do on showing them how to get a woman.   Though there are several games women play there is one game that women run that is actually socially acceptable.   That game is Acculturated Prostitution.

            I was first introduced the term by Master Yao Nyamekye Morris in his landmark book, Amanmere.   Acculturated prostitution is a socially acceptable form of prostitution.   The acculturated prostitute isn’t out on a corner wearing sexually provocative clothing taking money from men in return for sexual favors.    Indeed most acculturated prostitutes will get highly offended if a man offered them money right up front.   The game of the acculturated prostitute is to use her sex appeal to get favors from men.   Sometimes she will imply that she will sleep with the man if he pays her bills.   She may sleep with a man if he takes her to a fancy restaurant.   On a job the acculturated prostitute will use sex appeal to get a raise or a favorable work assignment.   Female servers at restaurants may use their sex appeal to get bigger tips from men.   I actually know women who were instructed to be extra friendly to male customers.  These are the most subtle examples.

            The more blatant acculturated prostitutes are the gold diggers and the sugar babies.   There is a whole subculture of women who focus on getting a professional athlete.   These women will know more about a superstar athlete than the most hardcore fan.   They also know the travel schedule and hotel accommodations of these men.   Quiet as it kept certain professions such as Wall Street Traders have groupies.    As far as sugar babies there are websites that openly connect young women with older wealthy men.   I find it interesting in that many people will have a moral issue with men paying for sex with street walkers, in brothels, or engaging in sex tourism.   Yet the same people are silent on the acculturated prostitution that goes on around them all the time.    The sex tourist, the John, the horny supervisor, and the rich athlete are all paying for female companionship.

            Indeed with the acculturated prostitute she will stand up in a public forum and say that a man has to have a certain amount of money to have the pleasure of her companionship.   This man could be extremely intelligent, have a great moral character, be very responsible, and have a sense of humor.   Yet many women will reject this man because he makes a modest income.   The bad part is we accept that as a culture.  

            I remember I went on a date with a woman back in the nineties.    I half-jokingly said something about going Dutch to gage her thinking.   This woman stopped smiling and said that she would be offended if a man didn’t spend money on her.   I nodded my head and said, “Okay that’s fair.  Would you be offended if the man after he spent money on you told you to get on your knees and suck his dick?”   She got real quiet then.   We didn’t discuss money anymore after that.   I’ve known many women who have slept with a man not because he was sexy but because he spent money on them.    Yet those same women will complain about men going to places like Brazil for sex tourism.

            I’m bringing this up because in the media there is so much focus on the actions of men and what we are doing wrong in relationships.  I was on a panel discussing relationships back in the nineties.   A woman in the audience stood up with much attitude, pointed her finger at me, and complained that men were always throwing money at women.   She wanted to know why men did that.   I looked at her very calmly and said, “Because y’all take the money.”   After the forum three women came up to me privately and told me how they got money from men.   These weren’t women who dressed like strippers or ratchets.   These women looked like church ladies.   

            The problem with acculturated prostitution is twofold.  One, it creates dysfunctional relationships.   An acculturated prostitute doesn’t have to develop her character.   She only needs to maintain her shape and ability to pick out clothes to make her butt look real nice.   She’s not looking for a partnership, she’s looking for a sponsor.    It’s a business arrangement.   Yet many acculturated prostitutes will go on national television and wonder how come they can’t find a “good man.”    I personally think that the real reason many American women complain about men going to places like Brazil or the Dominican Republic is that these men won’t spend money on them.   Indeed, I’ve listened to the complaints of Black women about Black men who dated interracially.   I’ve never heard a complaint about losing a Black man with good character to a white woman.  The complaint always centers on a “white woman getting that brotha’s money.”

            A bigger problem with acculturated prostitution is that it turns men into tricks.   There are thousands of dating coaches, seduction gurus, relationship workshops, websites, and blogs that provide information and advice to men for the express purpose of getting women.   Most men don’t feel like doing all of that.    Let’s get raw.  A man knows that if he got enough money he can get pussy from an attractive woman.   Many men will simply go straight to a prostitute.   Other men through experience will discover that many women on the dating landscape are acculturated prostitutes.  Why should a man develop his character?   Why should he be respectable?  In some cases why even be law abiding?   Anyone who really knows the drug game knows that many boys turn to drug dealing because the money attracts beautiful girls.   Instead of honor and integrity men focus on getting money by any means necessary.

            I addressed acculturated prostitution because many people are looking for solutions to the relationship problem out there.   It would be trite for me to say that women should stop the practice of acculturated prostitution.   It’s just one symptom of a bigger problem.   The only real change comes when we start looking at issues realistically and start thinking about how we are contributing to the issue.   Men complain about “Thots” and yet many will pay the utility bills of a sexy woman.   Women complain when men call them hoes but will talk trash about a man who cannot afford to take them to an expensive seafood restaurant.   Popular songs are even made about broke men.

            Acculturated prostitution is just one issue we need to seriously examine if we really want functional relationships.




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Raw Brotha Remix: Bimbos are Geniuses

8/30/2015

0 Comments

 
          

     The following post was originally published on November 23, 2014.   I shared some deep knowledge in this one.  Let me know what you think.

*******************

       
I’ve been writing and talking about relationship issues for nearly twenty years now.   I’ve been paying attention to male/female relationship dynamics for even longer.   Despite all of the relationship writers, therapists, movies, and old school player comedians, things have not got any better.  Thing have got progressively worse.  Way worse.   An associate once said that it’s not that the plane is going down in flames, it has already crashed and the survivors are walking around dazed and confused.   


            Now I’m one of those people who likes to see the big picture on one hand and will also dig deep and break something down.   There’s a reality that many people who care about these matters don’t see.  For those who see this reality they don’t stop and ponder the significance of what they are seeing.   The reality is that there are people out there who consistently get what they want out of relationships.   This subpopulation of people will consistently get dates, marriage proposals, money, and lots and lots of sex.    So who are these people?   They are those women we call Bimbos and their male counterparts, Himbos.   Grouped together for purposes of this blog I’ll call them “Icons.”

            Now I know someone reading this will think this is obvious.  Of course, physically beautiful people are going to get the most sexual attention.  Duh!   Someone else will think, “Yes, they look good but they are not that smart.”   Yet these physically beautiful and yet intellectually shallow people have the key to solving many of our relationship issues.

            At this point a sexually frustrated intellectual reading this blog will say, “I knew Rom was crazy but he’s gone off the deep end.   The key to solving relationship issues is to have conferences with certified professionals coming together and hammering out solutions.”   No joke I have actually read this in print and have had people say this to me.   Let me share a true story.

            Years ago I was invited to a relationship conference where most of the participants were Ph.Ds.  I was one of the few people there who was not officially certified in some type of relationship work.   A professional Dominatrix was there as well.   She had an interesting presentation but I digress.  What struck me about these certified professionals was that very few of them were in functional relationships.  Many struck me as having trouble even connecting with the opposite sex.   Well except for this cat I’ll call Professor Goodbar.   Watching him work the women at the conference kept me entertained.   The takeaway I got from observing these people was that they had good sounding theories but very little real world application.  

            Now I contrast this with Icons.   These beautiful, yet shallow people are never at a loss for companionship.   People can call them dumb all they want, but the Icons get what they want out of relationships.   Seems pretty smart to me.   Take the Bimbo.  She may not be able to discuss world events, and you may not be able to take her around a group of intellectual professionals.   Yet the Bimbo may have men who will take care of all her material needs.   Many women are taking care of the financial needs of boy-toys.   Think about it, a person can toil on a thankless job for years making just enough to keep basic bills paid or by keeping up their physical appearance they can have people hand them money and material goods.

            Now someone will say, “Well they are still shallow and they can’t talk about anything of substance.”   Here’s a newsflash.   The average person on the street cannot talk about anything of substance.   Most people live second hand lives where at most they can talk about their favorite sports team, their dysfunctional family, and what’s going on with particular celebrities.   Most people don’t even vote.  Only fifty percent of the population is even registered to vote and out of that it is considered a high turnout if fifty percent of the registered voters bother to vote.   Again I digress.  I used to be an editor at a website which followed politics.  I had a flashback.

            So why do I say that Bimbos are geniuses?   Let me drop some science, knowledge, mother wit, game, however one wants to frame the information.    In past blogs I’ve talked about social faces and sexual faces.   The social face being how someone behaves publically.  The sexual face being how someone behaves in the bedroom.   I also in my books, blogs, and videos talk about physical appearance and sex appeal.   The problem with the overwhelming amount of commentators, therapists, dating coaches, seduction gurus, and comedians in fly suits is that they focus on the more intellectual side of relationships.  They may say “look your best” but it’s more like a footnote.   I can’t think of ANY expert that will spend a whole seminar, video, or book talking about the physical appearance side of attraction.  

            If someone is an expert or knows of such a person hit me up here.   I want to interview you.  I’m dead serious.

            Here’s the science.   There are two subconscious sexual orientations.   This is something that goes deeper than gender.   I’ve only seen this information discussed in two places.   One is a book called Amanmere – The Natural Blueprint for Sexual Relationships by Master Yao Nyamekye Morris.   Master Yao wrote that all people have two sex drives.   One sex drive is the one we are all familiar with, the carnal sex drive.   This is being attracted to someone based on pure lust.   We are attracted to their face, hair, and body build.   The second sex drive is the desire to connect with someone mentally.   We are attracted to someone because they have similar interests and compatible personalities.   Many men end up in the dreaded friend zone because a woman will have some mental attraction for them but will not be turned on physically.  

            All people have both drives within them, however, the overwhelming majority of people will express one drive and suppress the other.   Very few people are balanced between both drives even if they think they are.   People who express the carnal drive but suppress the mental drive are called Sensual Bohemians (Bohemians).   People who express the mental drive but suppress the carnal side are called Reverent Intelligentsians (Intelligentsians).  To be clear Intelligentsians are not necessarily smarter than Bohemians.   Many Bohemians have high standard IQ’s.   The key difference is how each group relates to people sexually.

            The Bohemian will typically emphasize their physical appearance.   They will wear their clothes in such way as to draw sexual attention to them.   This is a man wearing a muscle shirt.  This is the woman wearing a tight top and jeans showing off her booty.   These men and women will typically have gym memberships or will otherwise be very resistant to weight gain.   Bohemians have a strong lean towards being materialistic.    A key point is that they tend to be very comfortable with their bodies.

            The Intelligentsian will typically emphasize their mental capabilities.   They will focus more on making a mental connection with people.      Most often they will get into relationships with people they have been friends with for a long time because of the mental connection.   An Intelligentsian will relate to a person based more on logic than their feelings.  Intelligentsians typically wear their clothes in a way to deflect sexual attention away from their bodies.   Even if an Intelligentsian female has an hourglass figure she may wear drab colors, and loose clothing which hide her body.   The men will wear clothing which may hide the presence of an otherwise muscular physique.

            Now there’s the thing I have found in my many years of dealing with different relationship experts.   The overwhelming majority of them are Intelligentsian.   I can think of one I’ve met who was Bohemian and even what she teaches is more Intelligentsian orientated.    The problem with Intelligentsian experts is that they are focused on one side of the equation.    What they are bringing to the table is extremely important but there are definite problems.   Intelligentsians will talk about things like communication, virtues, and other practical skills needed to SUBSTAIN a relationship.   The problem is that people learn these skills and still have trouble getting into a relationship.   That’s because they have the skills but they have trouble physically attracting a mate.   That’s where the Icons come in.

            The Icon does not have any problem attracting a mate.   Their problem come from keeping the relationship going long term.   Many people have met a person who turned them on sexually and will engage them in a relationship.   The issue is that no matter how beautiful and sexy a person is, after dealing with them for a while their flaws will eventually turn someone off.  If a person eats their favorite flavor of ice cream every day for a month eventually they will get bored and want something else.   Same thing with people.  A man can get that hot woman and have steamy sex every day for a few months.   He will eventually get bored with her if she doesn’t bring something else to the table.

            The point of this blog though is to say that the Bimbos do bring something to the table that is sorely missed from the relationship dialogue.   I think about a conversation I had with a lady friend recently.   She said she was going to take her son’s fiancé to a strip club so she could learn some tricks to keep the marriage strong.   The Bimbo is a Bohemian.  She and her male counterparts are very much in touch with their carnal sex drive.   People can call them dumb and maybe some areas they are not very smart.   The thing is that social intelligence is just as important as academic intelligence.   Indeed I have met hundreds of men and women who would trade their degrees and their careers just for someone to love them.   The Bimbo has figured out how to at least attract mates.

            See there are those rare individuals who have a genetic bone structure which people will deem handsome or beautiful.   Most good-looking people had to cultivate their physical beauty.   They had to work out to stay in good shape.  They had to figure out how to cut their hair and groom themselves for maximum effect.   They had to through trial and error figure out which clothes drew the most attention to them.   Though they may not be able to discuss world events they figured out how to amp up their sex appeal.

            The big problems is that the Icons are shunned in matters outside of sex.  In media, and in real life they are considered dumb.  They are called sluts, hoes, manwhores, and playas, whatever.  As a culture we are stuck on thinking only one group has the answers.   We think that someone who has some credentials can tell other people how to have good relationships when they themselves are involuntarily celibate.   Yet a high school dropout with a nice booty will have men buying her everything.   Many Icons have deep insights into male/female relationships and quite frankly more fulfilling relationships.  

            If we are serious about dealing with creating better relationships we need to expand the discussion and let the Icons have a voice.

 
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Introducing Shophar

6/14/2015

4 Comments

 
Picture
Shophar
            One of my most popular blogs was entitled “Do The Work.”  In the blog I introduced a good friend of mine I called “Roger.”   He was someone who had read my books, Nice Guys and Players, and Sexual Chemistry, back when they first came out.   In the blog I mentioned how he was texting about the several women he had encountered during one very hectic weekend.   “Roger” is very a long time student of sacred sexuality in general and Tantra in particular.   So when he has sex with a woman he calls it the “Lord’s Work.”   As busy as different women keep him I must say that he is a very devout brotha.  

            Now it would be easy to say that “Roger” was a made-up character I was using to sell my books.  Naw.  “Roger” is very real.   That’s his picture at the top of this blog.   His real name is Shophar.  With his permission I’m revealing his true identity because after “doing the work” for thirteen years Shophar is ready to help men and women transform their lives as he has done his.   He has just launched a website, http://foshoenergywork.com/.    I highly recommend his services.  I honestly feel like a master who has watched his student grow into his own mastery.  The student has become the teacher.   I mean that literally.  If I write some wack shit on my blog rest assured I get several texts right away.   If it’s really wack I get a phone call.   Thing is I trust his counsel and insights even when I don’t agree with them initially.   The work he has done has earned him this right.

            I remember when I first encountered Shophar.  My book was recommended to him by one of my mentors, Master Yao Nyamekye Morris.   Master Yao gave the brotha my number and when he called me he told me his story.   Shophar was a legitimate Nice Guy.   He wasn’t getting any panties.  It was interesting listening to him because for a young man who described himself as painfully thin he had a deep ass voice.   I thought I was talking to a Barry White clone.   I would have been done if he said, “Sho you right.”   I finally met him a few months later and saw a shy and skinny young man who didn’t have any game for getting the ladies.   That was actually a good thing.  Let me explain why.

            I had a weird thing going on with my book, Nice Guys and Players.   The men who enjoyed the book and got the most out of it were the men who needed the book the least.  It was the players who agreed with everything I wrote because they knew the REAL game.   Many of them said it confirmed what they had experienced in their own lives.   Another group of men who got something out of the book were those who able to get women but maybe needed a little tweaking to get better women.   Outside of those two groups the book didn’t do as well.  

           I got negative reviews from men who THOUGHT they had game.   These were the types who got lucky every now and then with fat and ugly women.   These were the thirsty men who would chase women, tell lies, and generally pester the hell out of women.   Since they got lucky every few months they thought they had it going on.  What I wrote went against their belief systems so they simply dismissed the whole thing.   One man even said that I must not know how to get women.   Honestly the haters made me laugh more than anything else.   My biggest disappointment came from the Nice Guys.

           It was the Nice Guys who I wrote the book for to begin with who rejected my books the hardest.   I was doing one event where I was the featured author.  It was men and women at the event.  Some of the Nice Guys who were there who had read the book beforehand stood up and said my book was crap.   The irony of that event was that while the Nice Guys were jumping on my case the women agreed with what I was saying.   While the women were nodding their heads, the true players in the room, the Mr. Goodbars, were working the women.  Several came up to me after the event to talk with me.  A few would later on tell me their stories.  

             Getting back to Shophar, he was a definite Nice Guy but really he was a latent Goodbar.   What Shophar did different from other men was that he humbled himself to learn.   He would always say that he was hungry for knowledge.   I didn’t have to argue with him about anything in my books.   Not once did I have to convince him about anything.  He read what I said in my books.  He absorbed what I said in my books.  He APPLIED what I said in my books.   He DID THE WORK!!!

           The main work Shophar did was physical.   Many men search for the secret to getting women, particularly beautiful women.   All of my books focus on TURNING ON A WOMAN SEXUALLY.  The dating coaches, seduction gurus, and blog writers focus on the social aspect of dealing with women.  They focus primarily on approaching and talking to women. That thing called “game.”  Lip service is sometimes given to fitness.   The key to turning on women is not talking to them.  It’s not even having a handsome face.  The key to turning on a woman is the BODY.   Everything else is icing.  Indeed, if a woman is turned on by a man’s body he doesn’t need game.  All he needs is to do is pay attention.   My books tell a man how to work off the arousal caused by his body.   The key then is for a man to develop his optimal body.

            Now Shophar is still slim but he has added muscle over the years and many women are attracted to a slim but muscular build.   To be clear Shophar has studied under many masters and has done a lot of mental and spiritual work.  The base though has always been his physical work.  The nature of the man is to take action.  The man is expected to lead, to protect, to provide, and to make love.   A man cannot do these things if he has not developed his body.   A woman is not going to follow a weak man.  A man can’t protect a woman if he has no strength.  He can’t provide if he is so out of shape he can’t work a regular job.   He can’t make love if he doesn’t have the stamina to last more than a minute.   The body of a man represents more than aesthetics to a woman.   Subconsciously the woman is evaluating the man’s ability to lead, protect, provide, and make love.  A man’s body communicates these things to a woman.   To directly quote Shophar, “If you can't walk around with your shirt off and get some attention then you got some work to do.”

           Trust me there’s a lot I can say about Shophar.  One of the things I’m proud of is that he is now a business owner.  A man having his own business is a part of my books nobody seems to talk about.  A man having his own business works to give him confidence which in turn women find very sexy.   Shophar is the icon of what I write about in my books.   He lives in world where he controls his economic destiny and is filled with very beautiful women.  This is the dream of many men.   Check out his website, http://foshoenergywork.com/.  Support him as you have supported me.   It started with me.  Shophar has stepped up.   Others will join us.  Let’s rise and transform together.

           I’ll end this with a video Shophar did a few years ago.   To follow this path means to bring out all of your talents. 

 

4 Comments

Bimbos are Geniuses!

11/23/2014

2 Comments

 
            I’ve been writing and talking about relationship issues for nearly twenty years now.   I’ve been paying attention to male/female relationship dynamics for even longer.   Despite all of the relationship writers, therapists, movies, and old school player comedians, things have not got any better.  Thing have got progressively worse.  Way worse.   An associate once said that it’s not that the plane is going down in flames, it has already crashed and the survivors are walking around dazed and confused.   

            Now I’m one of those people who likes to see the big picture on one hand and will also dig deep and break something down.   There’s a reality that many people who care about these matters don’t see.  For those who see this reality they don’t stop and ponder the significance of what they are seeing.   The reality is that there are people out there who consistently get what they want out of relationships.   This subpopulation of people will consistently get dates, marriage proposals, money, and lots and lots of sex.    So who are these people?   They are those women we call Bimbos and their male counterparts, Himbos.   Grouped together for purposes of this blog I’ll call them “Icons.”

            Now I know someone reading this will think this is obvious.  Of course, physically beautiful people are going to get the most sexual attention.  Duh!   Someone else will think, “Yes, they look good but they are not that smart.”   Yet these physically beautiful and yet intellectually shallow people have the key to solving many of our relationship issues.

            At this point a sexually frustrated intellectual reading this blog will say, “I knew Rom was crazy but he’s gone off the deep end.   The key to solving relationship issues is to have conferences with certified professionals coming together and hammering out solutions.”   No joke I have actually read this in print and have had people say this to me.   Let me share a true story.

            Years ago I was invited to a relationship conference where most of the participants were Ph.Ds.  I was one of the few people there who was not officially certified in some type of relationship work.   A professional Dominatrix was there as well.   She had an interesting presentation but I digress.  What struck me about these certified professionals was that very few of them were in functional relationships.  Many struck me as having trouble even connecting with the opposite sex.   Well except for this cat I’ll call Professor Goodbar.   Watching him work the women at the conference kept me entertained.   The takeaway I got from observing these people was that they had good sounding theories but very little real world application.  

            Now I contrast this with Icons.   These beautiful, yet shallow people are never at a loss for companionship.   People can call them dumb all they want, but the Icons get what they want out of relationships.   Seems pretty smart to me.   Take the Bimbo.  She may not be able to discuss world events, and you may not be able to take her around a group of intellectual professionals.   Yet the Bimbo may have men who will take care of all her material needs.   Many women are taking care of the financial needs of boy-toys.   Think about it, a person can toil on a thankless job for years making just enough to keep basic bills paid or by keeping up their physical appearance they can have people hand them money and material goods.

            Now someone will say, “Well they are still shallow and they can’t talk about anything of substance.”   Here’s a newsflash.   The average person on the street cannot talk about anything of substance.   Most people live second hand lives where at most they can talk about their favorite sports team, their dysfunctional family, and what’s going on with particular celebrities.   Most people don’t even vote.  Only fifty percent of the population is even registered to vote and out of that it is considered a high turnout if fifty percent of the registered voters bother to vote.   Again I digress.  I used to be an editor at a website which followed politics.  I had a flashback.

            So why do I say that Bimbos are geniuses?   Let me drop some science, knowledge, mother wit, game, however one wants to frame the information.    In past blogs I’ve talked about social faces and sexual faces.   The social face being how someone behaves publically.  The sexual face being how someone behaves in the bedroom.   I also in my books, blogs, and videos talk about physical appearance and sex appeal.   The problem with the overwhelming amount of commentators, therapists, dating coaches, seduction gurus, and comedians in fly suits is that they focus on the more intellectual side of relationships.  They may say “look your best” but it’s more like a footnote.   I can’t think of ANY expert that will spend a whole seminar, video, or book talking about the physical appearance side of attraction.  

            If someone is an expert or knows of such a person hit me up here.   I want to interview you.  I’m dead serious.

            Here’s the science.   There are two subconscious sexual orientations.   This is something that goes deeper than gender.   I’ve only seen this information discussed in two places.   One is a book called Amanmere – The Natural Blueprint for Sexual Relationships by Master Yao Nyamekye Morris.   Master Yao wrote that all people have two sex drives.   One sex drive is the one we are all familiar with, the carnal sex drive.   This is being attracted to someone based on pure lust.   We are attracted to their face, hair, and body build.   The second sex drive is the desire to connect with someone mentally.   We are attracted to someone because they have similar interests and compatible personalities.   Many men end up in the dreaded friend zone because a woman will have some mental attraction for them but will not be turned on physically.  

            All people have both drives within them, however, the overwhelming majority of people will express one drive and suppress the other.   Very few people are balanced between both drives even if they think they are.   People who express the carnal drive but suppress the mental drive are called Sensual Bohemians (Bohemians).   People who express the mental drive but suppress the carnal side are called Reverent Intelligentsians (Intelligentsians).  To be clear Intelligentsians are not necessarily smarter than Bohemians.   Many Bohemians have high standard IQ’s.   The key difference is how each group relates to people sexually.

            The Bohemian will typically emphasize their physical appearance.   They will wear their clothes in such way as to draw sexual attention to them.   This is a man wearing a muscle shirt.  This is the woman wearing a tight top and jeans showing off her booty.   These men and women will typically have gym memberships or will otherwise be very resistant to weight gain.   Bohemians have a strong lean towards being materialistic.    A key point is that they tend to be very comfortable with their bodies.

            The Intelligentsian will typically emphasize their mental capabilities.   They will focus more on making a mental connection with people.      Most often they will get into relationships with people they have been friends with for a long time because of the mental connection.   An Intelligentsian will relate to a person based more on logic than their feelings.  Intelligentsians typically wear their clothes in a way to deflect sexual attention away from their bodies.   Even if an Intelligentsian female has an hourglass figure she may wear drab colors, and loose clothing which hide her body.   The men will wear clothing which may hide the presence of an otherwise muscular physique.

            Now there’s the thing I have found in my many years of dealing with different relationship experts.   The overwhelming majority of them are Intelligentsian.   I can think of one I’ve met who was Bohemian and even what she teaches is more Intelligentsian orientated.    The problem with Intelligentsian experts is that they are focused on one side of the equation.    What they are bringing to the table is extremely important but there are definite problems.   Intelligentsians will talk about things like communication, virtues, and other practical skills needed to SUBSTAIN a relationship.   The problem is that people learn these skills and still have trouble getting into a relationship.   That’s because they have the skills but they have trouble physically attracting a mate.   That’s where the Icons come in.

            The Icon does not have any problem attracting a mate.   Their problem come from keeping the relationship going long term.   Many people have met a person who turned them on sexually and will engage them in a relationship.   The issue is that no matter how beautiful and sexy a person is, after dealing with them for a while their flaws will eventually turn someone off.  If a person eats their favorite flavor of ice cream every day for a month eventually they will get bored and want something else.   Same thing with people.  A man can get that hot woman and have steamy sex every day for a few months.   He will eventually get bored with her if she doesn’t bring something else to the table.

            The point of this blog though is to say that the Bimbos do bring something to the table that is sorely missed from the relationship dialogue.   I think about a conversation I had with a lady friend recently.   She said she was going to take her son’s fiancé to a strip club so she could learn some tricks to keep the marriage strong.   The Bimbo is a Bohemian.  She and her male counterparts are very much in touch with their carnal sex drive.   People can call them dumb and maybe some areas they are not very smart.   The thing is that social intelligence is just as important as academic intelligence.   Indeed I have met hundreds of men and women who would trade their degrees and their careers just for someone to love them.   The Bimbo has figured out how to at least attract mates.

            See there are those rare individuals who have a genetic bone structure which people will deem handsome or beautiful.   Most good-looking people had to cultivate their physical beauty.   They had to work out to stay in good shape.  They had to figure out how to cut their hair and groom themselves for maximum effect.   They had to through trial and error figure out which clothes drew the most attention to them.   Though they may not be able to discuss world events they figured out how to amp up their sex appeal.

            The big problems is that the Icons are shunned in matters outside of sex.  In media, and in real life they are considered dumb.  They are called sluts, hoes, manwhores, and playas, whatever.  As a culture we are stuck on thinking only one group has the answers.   We think that someone who has some credentials can tell other people how to have good relationships when they themselves are involuntarily celibate.   Yet a high school dropout with a nice booty will have men buying her everything.   Many Icons have deep insights into male/female relationships and quite frankly more fulfilling relationships.  

            If we are serious about dealing with creating better relationships we need to expand the discussion and let the Icons have a voice.

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Why I Don't Teach Game Part 2: Demon Lovers

6/16/2014

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            Most people who want to learn that thing called “game” are motivated by desires for sex and love.   They realize that they are not the most physically attractive person so they want to learn any method they can to improve their sexual value.  I get that.  Whole industries have developed to help them with that.   For men an example is the seduction industry with books, videos, and seminars.   Quite as its kept women have their own things as well.  Most women’s magazines have articles on methods to deal with men.  Also you have the cosmetics industry to make a woman look more beautiful than she actually is as well as intimate apparel to make their bodies look tighter.   Also high heel shoes serve no real functional purpose yet women wear them to make their legs and butt look more sexually appealing.   Now that’s game.   Most of the men who attend seminars and the women who shop at lingerie stores are essentially good people who really want love.   In general they don’t have negative intentions towards the opposite sex.    That’s not the case with Demon Lovers.

            There are men and women in our society who are…different from everyone else.  Their thinking and outlooks on life are different.   These…people are predators plain and simple.   They are like serial killers in a way.  Instead of killing people they kill a person’s spirit.  They do so through sexual relationships.   They are the Demon Lovers.   The vampire myths probably arose from people dealing with these entities in ancient cultures.    In his book, The Natural Blueprint for Relationships (Natural Blueprint) Yao Nyamekye Morris devotes a whole chapter to Demon Lovers.  He refers to them as “fiends of the sexual underworld.”   He had this to say:

             The fiends of the sexual underworld do not necessarily look like the demons we see in comic books.  It is just the opposite.  Most often, they are men and women who are above average in the looks department.  Many of them look trustworthy and innocent on the surface.  They have one thing in common.  He or she is skilled at saying the things you want to hear.  They may not have a degree in psychology but they are very perceptive in sizing someone up.  They have trouble relating to the opposite sex in normal ways, so they compensate by exploiting weaknesses and unfulfilled desires.  The men know that most men are not as romantic and sensitive as the typical woman would like.  So they learn how to be better at that than the average male.  They listen for clues and act on them.  These men are very willing to take risks and do what is socially unacceptable if it will please a woman because they have nothing to lose.  They are not emotionally invested in the outcome of the relationship.  They don’t care about you or what you think about them.  But they make you think they care very much.

             The female demon lovers know that most black men do not feel appreciated and respected by the black woman.  And the first thing they do is show him how much they respect and appreciate what he is about.  They normally dress in a provocative manner and make it clear that fulfilling the man’s sexual desires is a high priority for them.  They listen for clues about what the man likes and then are quick to act on them.  Those women are very willing to take risks and do what is socially unacceptable if it will please her man.  They are not emotionally invested in the outcome of the relationship.  They don’t care about you or what you think about them.  But they make you think they care very much.

              The Natural Blueprint for Relationships P. 251.

*************

               Even though Natural Blueprint was written for an African American audience, the part about Demon Lovers can be applied to any race or culture.   I’ve met a few white Demon Lovers.  

               So what does this have to do with game and why I don’t teach it?  For one thing Demon Lovers are the top of the pyramid as far as “game.”  You’re talking the ultimate manipulators.  Even Pimps have nothing on Demon Lovers. What dating coaches and seduction gurus teach is a pathetic joke next to what a Demon Lover can do.   You’re talking about people that will consciously destroy a person’s life for no other reason than their own amusement.   There are the men playing mind games with women for no other reason than to pass the time.   You have women are stealing another woman’s loving husband for no other reason than that she can.   Those are the “nicer” Demon Lovers.   Some Demon Lovers are literally weapons of mass destruction.  I’m not exaggerating.  

               Every now and then there is a story in the media about a person intentionally infecting a large number of people with a sexually transmitted disease such as HIV.   Think about it, a single man or woman has unprotected sex with several hundred people and infects them with HIV.   Those men and women go out and get into relationships or have sexual encounters, thus spreading HIV to several thousand more people.   Many will die or at the very least get very sick and may get financially ruined paying medical expenses.   That’s a weapon of war right there.   A single Demon Lover can literally destroy whole communities.

              Stop and think about it.

              Now what is my connection to Demon Lovers?  Remember in part 1 of this blog series I said I spent a part of my childhood in a dysfunctional environment.  It wasn’t just my home but pretty much a mile radius around my house.  There were folks around there who made the characters on The Wire look like the law-abiding citizens.   My mother’s “friends” were one thing.  My own were another.   So I’m hanging around other kids my age and to say they were “interesting” is an understatement.  There was one friend I’ll call Zeke.  Zeke had the pretty boy thing going as well as being a true thug.   The little girls loved him enough to engage in an eight year-old’s approximation of sex.   Zeke kept me on my toes because he would manipulate anyone around him without remorse.   He was fairly sociopathic.  Last I heard about Zeke he was serving time for premeditated murder.  Another kid I’ll call Bo used to suck older boy’s dicks but chased little girls as well.  Bo had a big crush on my sister.   He probably grew up to be a DL brotha.   Another kid I’ll call Dan was just nasty.  Every conversation with him involved sex.   He probably grew up to be pimp or a porn actor.   As far as myself, I’ll put it like this, my street name was “Romeo.”   At my house, some of my mother’s WOMAN friends did things like walk around in their underwear and at least one always wanted to “hug” me.  That’s all I care to say about that.   My point is that looking back I was exposed to Demon Lovers at a very young age.   

          I also took on many of their traits.

          When people used to ask me to teach them how to be a dog they didn’t do so because I was some smooth player who brought a smile to woman’s faces and could be a fun date.   I was a straight up dog.   Love them and leave them wasn’t a tactic for me.  It was just how I rolled.   It didn’t bother my conscience at all because MOST of these women had boyfriends or at least good guys who were interested in them.   I wasn’t going to get emotionally invested in a woman cheating on a man who obviously loved her.   If the woman got her heart broken because I didn’t return her phone call so be it.  She had a man, cry on his shoulders.   Quite frankly I roll my eyes when women complain about men cheating.   Women do it more and are way better at it.  See a woman will cheat within the rhythm of her daily activities.   There’s a certain period of time when her man thinks she’s doing one thing when she may be with someone in a hotel room.    A woman can send her man off to work, invite her 16 year-old neighbor over to the house, suck the young boy’s dick, and then have her husband’s dinner on the table when he gets home.  She may even have sex with her husband that night.   The man is oblivious to his wife’s cheating because she’s submissive, she cooks, and gives him regular sex.   He thinks he’s running things.   Yeah right.

           As far as myself I was like Blade.  I had all the Demon Lover powers but none of their weaknesses.  I wasn’t the villain of the story.  More like the morally ambiguous anti-hero of the story.   Another unique aspect of my childhood was that I used to read the Bible a lot.  Could have been a child preacher. My mother before her nervous breakdown used to open our home to some of the local kids to teach them the Bible.  That’s how I made some of my first friends.   My mother’s spiritual nature was  unique in itself.  She read the Bible but she also read New Thought material such as Norman Vincent Peale and Rev. Ike.   Many things people are talking about now she was talking about then.   She even got money for praying for people.   My home environment was sexualized and spiritual at the same time.   Plus if someone actually reads the Bible there were some players up in there.   King David set up his boy to get killed just to get at his wife.  King Solomon (whom my mother compared me to) had 700 wives.  Shoot, getting with multiple women was sanctioned by God as far as I was concerned.  I say all that to say I had some type of moral compass to keep from going totally to the dark side.   Don’t get it twisted though there were times that had nothing to do with women where I did cross the line.   Y’all might not hear those stories.

          Now the average Demon Lover grew up in an environment where there wasn’t any type of moral compass.   See, religion is more than just a way to worship a person’s vision of God.   In this culture religion is a behavior control system.   Specifically most religions serve to control a person’s sexual nature.   If you pay attention to very religious people, particularly women in Protestant churches, you will notice that they typically dress in a way which deflects attention away from their bodies.  When a man looks at them his first thought isn’t going to be, “I want to bang her.”   Her clothing and body language will not arouse him even if she is otherwise beautiful with a voluptuous body.   If the same woman was wearing a short dress and heels he would likely get a massive hard-on.   Now you raise a child in a non-religious environment with few other restrictions, they will not do anything to limit their natural sex appeal.  Indeed they will dress in a way to magnify their body.  Girls from dysfunctional homes typically dress in sexually provocative clothing even in instances where more conservative clothing would be appropriate.

          So you have a child in a dysfunctional environment who isn’t taught to suppress their sexual nature.   Let’s add some more ingredients to this mix.   You have a kid who has very good physical genetics.   The boys will grow up to have a tall muscular body while the girls will grow up to have a shapely body with optimal contrasts between the breasts, waist, and hips.   Add to this above average facial features.   On these factors alone the kids will grow to attract multiple mates.   There’s still more to add to the mix.   A Demon Lover has above average, even genius level social intelligence.  Most IQ tests only test a person’s linguistic and mathematic ability.   It’s hard to test a person’s social genius or street smarts.   Indeed if there were such a test the Demon Lover would purposely underperform on it.  Demon Lovers really aren’t normal.  Yet they will make an effort to appear normal.   Looking normal is how Demon Lovers get over.

        When people think of players, there’s an image of men in flashy clothes, with tattoos and loud talking being the center of attention.  With women it’s the image of someone wearing sexually provocative clothing.  Demon Lovers are smart enough to look clean cut and innocent.   A male Demon Lover is likely to look like he is a church going nerd if it works for him.  A female Demon Lover may look like a “goody goody girl” if it works for her.   I had an acquaintance who was bragging about his new girlfriend.   She was just perfect for him in his eyes.  I met her and I knew something was up.  She was very beautiful and very innocent looking.  I caught something in her eyes though for a brief second.   I started to take the acquaintance to the side but he was so enamored with her he wouldn’t have received what I said.  A few months I saw him again and found she stole money and personal items from him.  Nothing is safe with a Demon Lover.  Many a bank account has been emptied behind one.

         One thing sometimes people will see a Demon Lover in action and not know what they’re seeing.  Men will see a bunch of women hovering around a Demon Lover and foolishly try to emulate what they see.   They think they can be a jerk and insult a woman and she will sleep with him.   Really it’s not the behavior itself that’s turning on a woman.   The woman is tolerating the behavior because the man is fulfilling some other need the woman has.  One major need is sex.  Women want to sleep with a sexy man period.   Also the Demon Lover picked up on the psychological need which he at least pretends to fill.   Notice I said pretends.   The Demon Lover exploits the needs for his own ends, which could be money or simply a place to stay.  He might just want some ass and nothing else.   He might want the challenge of turning out a church girl.   A female Demon Lover may want to change her living situation.   A sexy woman can change her social class and financial situation by simply pussy whipping a rich man.   Many men can make money but lack common sense.   A female Demon Lover will stroke his dick and his ego and all of sudden she has a nice home and money.

          This is serious stuff.  Many men out here want to learn game because they think with game they can go from a man who doesn’t get the time of day to becoming a player.  Seriously if a man isn’t getting attention from women he has bigger problems he needs to deal with.  Learning some dubious techniques won’t help him.  The knowledge I have is dangerous.   Say hypothetically I give the knowledge to a bitter man.   That man isn’t going to go out and get into a functional relationship.   He’s not going to be loving towards women.   He’s going out for revenge.  He’s going to take out all those years of frustration on some women who did nothing to him.   Many women now are catching hell now from men who didn’t get sex regularly when they were young.   Let me share something with you.  All Demon Lovers don’t come from dysfunctional backgrounds.   There are a few men and women who develop the traits later in life.  Let me use an example.

            You have a man named Fred.   Fred grew up in a home with both parents in a middle class neighborhood.  Now Fred is slim and nerdy.  He was never the type who went to parties or played sports.  The girls in high school and college weren’t checking for him.   He gets a good career out of college and gradually makes enough money to get a house and late model car.   He has everything except the girl.  So he starts checking out seduction material.   He improves a little bit because he is given rudimentary game.  He’s instructed to approach several women a day and he has brief sexual encounters with a few women who are quite frankly unattractive and easy.   Fred is still frustrated until he runs into Dexter Goodbar and his cousins, Jimmy Cool and Damon Lover.  He sees them in action at a club and offers them money to teach him.  Dexter and Jimmy decline.  Damon though agrees to teach him.   Damon blows Fred’s mind.  Damon tells him some things that he can’t hear in a seduction seminar or find on the internet.  Over the period of a year Fred is transformed but not in a good way.   Fred is able to get better women but because he learned from a Demon Lover he starts dogging them.  See the thing that Fred didn’t deal with was his bitterness.   Fred made it his mission in life to dog as many women as possible because of numerous past rejections.  Fred the Nice Guy closed his eyes, Fred the Demon Lover opened them.

          There’s too many Fred’s out there.   Too many men who allowed their spirits to be consumed by bitterness.  When many men asked me to teach them how to be dogs they didn’t have good intentions.   These men would have been dangerous to women and I couldn’t be responsible for any damage caused.  Now this is not to say that I won’t give insights.  I mentioned “Roger” in the “Do The Work” blog.   I tell him whatever he wants to know.  Why?  He has a genuine love for women.   A love he likes to share with several women at the same time but still a love.   I’ll never put what I know in a book.   The knowledge I give in my books will increase the number of women a man can attract.   It requires work though in such a way that will enable a man to deal with his bitterness and other issues preventing him from attracting women.   Until a man deals with his personal demons he can’t be allowed access to the deeper knowledge.

          I’m going to do a part 3 to this series.   I’m going to talk about how man can attract women without using game.

 

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Do The Work!!!

4/6/2014

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            A few weeks ago I was driving to the mall with my sons and my cell phone started blowing up with texts.    Since I’m a responsible driver I didn’t look at the texts until I got to the mall and parked my car.   It was about 9 texts from a good friend I’ll call Roger (not his real name).   The texts were about some incidents that happened the day before.   To sum it up Roger had encounters with 6 or 7 women not including his actual girlfriend.   None of these incidents were platonic in nature.  I’ll let your imagination take over from there.    Now in the years I’ve known Roger he’s not the type to make things up.   He’s not one of those cats who will lie on his dick.   

            Now it makes sense that women find Roger attractive.    Men have jealously commented on his looks calling him a “Pretty Ricky.”  Plus he works out religiously.  On top of that he’s a poet/rapper with a pretty good video out.   He also has a strong sales background so he’s not shy about approaching people in general and women in particular.   This wasn’t always the case.

            As a teenager and young adult Roger was a very skinny and shy.   Women weren’t checking for him.   Roger was a frustrated young man.   Instead of going on the internet and complaining about “women wanting bad boys” and whining with other similar men, Roger decided to change his life.   He started first with his shyness.   Roger got involved in sales to specifically address his shyness.   As someone with a sales background myself I can tell you the sales profession cures anyone of shyness.   To succeed you not only have to be comfortable talking with different types of people but you have to become comfortable with rejection.   Even a master salesman will get rejected.   What the master salesman does, however, is not let the rejection bother him.  He learns from the rejection.  

            A few years after getting into sales Roger discovered my books, “Nice Guys and Players” and “Sexual Chemistry.”   My books put an emphasis on developing alpha male qualities.   Under my tutelage as well as Tantra masters Yao Nyamekye Morris and Shantam Nityama, Roger grew from a man who was too shy to talk to women to a man who has women routinely throwing the pussy at him.   I’m not exaggerating.   When women are sexually turned on by a man they become very aggressive.  Ask me how I know.

            The takeaway from this story is that Roger DID THE WORK!!!   The internet is full of websites, blogs, and videos of men who have trouble connecting with women on any level.   The one theme connecting all of this is that women don’t want nice guys, beta males, omega males, etc.   Now a man when faced with a problem can do one of two things.  He can complain with other similarly situated men.   What they are doing is sharing the problem and blaming everything and everyone instead of doing the one thing they need to do:  change the man in the mirror.

            Other men when confronted with the same issue will look in the mirror and make the changes.   A male becomes a man when he takes responsibility for his own life.   A real man will look at his circumstances and instead of blaming everybody else will say, “Things are going to be different.”  A man can only control one thing in his life: himself.   A man has to DO THE WORK!!!   Let me share a story from my past.

            I’m a person who can put on weight easily if I don’t consciously make an effort to work out. Back in the late eighties I was in one of my overweight periods.   I came to a defining moment in my life one evening.   There was a Prince concert.  I took as my date a hot Italian friend of mine I’ll call Maria.  Now me and Maria weren’t quite platonic as we had made out before and grinded at a party.   We had not had intercourse either.   For this concert Maria had on a full body cat suit and some heels.   Damn she was hot and sexy.   So we had a good time at the concert and I was thinking since we had kissed before she would want to have sex.   When I brought it up she told me straight up she didn’t want to because I was so big.   My response was, “okay.”   See most men would be pissed and entitled if they had paid for the date.  One thing about me is that I always learn from rejection and I would rather deal with an honest woman than one trying play me.   

            After that incident I started running to lose weight.   I vowed never to be that close to a woman that hot and sexy and lose out because of my weight which was something I could control.   Now I never did get with Maria sexually but after losing about 30 pounds three equally hot and sexy women sucked my dick within weeks of each other.  Two of these women had previously friendzoned me. The reason was that I DID THE WORK!!!

            Complaining about women and their dating choices doesn’t do any good.   I personally don’t see women changing their criteria because men are complaining on the blogs and videos.   In fact, women tell men what they want by their actions.  Women in general go for assertive men with nice bodies.   Even though women choose the men, men are still expected to approach.    When women choose they choose by being receptive to the man.  The man still has to have the balls to take the initiative.   If a man is shy he needs to do whatever it takes to get over that shyness.   Roger did so by getting into sales.   Another man may do so by speaking to random women throughout his day.   DO THE WORK!!!

            Most men are rejected by women because the women are not PHYSICALLY attracted to them.   Forget all that nonsense in the media about a woman not caring about looks.   A man’s looks includes his body build.   Women are turned on by a man’s body period.   I’ve known male exotic dancers who pull out wads of cash like they’re drug dealers.   There’s always discussions on the internet and in the real world about why women like “Bad Boys.”   People make the mistake of focusing on the personality traits of these men.   The personality traits are virtually irrelevant with the exception of being assertive.   I have had honest conversations with a few thousand women about their preferences in men.   Regardless of the personality traits they desired which was across the board, the women all expressed a preference for a body type.   Most women prefer men with athletic builds.  Not big and bulky like a professional body builder but not quite slim like a basketball player.   There are women, however, who prefer big and bulky, and those who prefer slim.    The bottom line is that women have a body preference.   When men wonder why a woman likes a particular bad boy, I would say ask the woman what she likes in a man physically.   A church going man with the same body type would at least get a look from the woman.   The physical piece is important because a woman has to be sexually attracted to a man.   Contrary to popular sentiment women are as visual as men.   A gym membership will at a minimum draw more attention from women.  The key is that the man has to DO THE WORK!!!

            Ultimately a man has to make a choice.  Does he continue to be lonely and sexually frustrated and blame the world?  Does he do the work to be surrounded by sexy women and have a fulfilling sex life?  

            The real man chooses the second option.  He will DO THE WORK!!!

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Charles The Invisible Man Part 3

1/20/2014

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The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.

When it comes to scoring points with a woman, nice guys definitely finish last. Usually dead last. But Charles did not know this. He confuses the proper conduct for a human socially, with the proper conduct for a male sexually. (Rom’s emphasis) For today many men are led to believe certain things about the attitudes of the modern woman which are contrary to the natural reality. The magazines say the woman wants such and so, and that the man should act thus and so. But the magazines don’t tell the brothers that these things only apply to about 15% of the male population. These are the men from the ‘select’ group who can get away with just about anything and usually do. But if the typical male takes the advice in the articles, and changes to conform to the patterns of behavior dictated, he will sadly discover that nothing has changed in the neighborhood. In the jungle of sexuality Charles will not kill any game unless he acquires the instincts of a hunter. And this is to some extent what Charles is doing. In his interaction with Michelle he finds that he needs to be decisive, to have an agenda. When he is wishy-washy they tend to argue. When he takes charge and is aggressive in the bedroom it seems that Michelle enjoys it better. Charles matures as a result of his relationship with Michelle. And Michelle benefits also. After being together for three years, the relationship has peaked. Charles receives an offer of promotion at the telephone company, but it requires that he move to another city. Michelle decides to stay behind, but they agree to part as good friends.

Charles has gone a long way to shedding his “nice guy” persona. He has developed into a more balanced man. And being in a new environment gives a chance to shape peer perception of him from scratch. Charles no longer feels like the invisible man. Attractive, charismatic women have begun to notice him in the office. At work females flirt with him. They do not flirt with him because of his involvement in community work and church, but because he manifests a more complete masculine persona. It is now time for Charles to relate to a carnal woman, but his relocation causes the cycle to take a little longer than before. But soon Charles meets Wanda, and is reminded by her of a dream he had. He knows at once that she is the next one. Wanda is very attractive, and has the masochistic personality like Elaine. But she is not Elaine and he is not the old Charles. Charles has the same nervous reaction around Wanda that he had a teenager around Beverly. But he is more disciplined man now and it does not show on the outside. He plays it cool with Wanda and they hit it off. The relationship with Wanda however is short. It only lasts a few months. For Charles discovers that she is insecure and somewhat immature for her age. Charles does not realize it, but he is being used by nature to shape Wanda into a more balanced woman. The physical relationship between Wanda and Charles is hot and passionate. It is the most intense lovemaking Charles will ever experience. And this aspect alone keeps Charles in the relationship longer than he would have been otherwise. But that is one of the lessons he must learn, that physical sex is not everything. Soon he learns that lesson, and moves on. He counts the relationship as being unsuccessful but he has gained by it spirituality and carnally and so has Wanda. They part as friends.

Charles spends almost a year in no relationship, because the next female in the cycle would not relate to him. Then he transfers back to the main office, and moves back in to his old neighborhood. In the meantime Elaine has dated several men who treated her badly. After she caught one of them cheating on her with one of her girlfriends, she decided to give a different type of guy a try. So she joined a church. The same church that Charles used to be a member of. It has been several years since she has seen Charles. At church one Sunday she runs into her old friend Charles and they rekindle their friendship. She remembers vividly how kind, concerned and thoughtful he had been to her. Looking at the man before her now, Elaine sees a more confident poised person. The other men in her life had only been macho, but not truly masculine, and each had proved unworthy. Charles was a successful executive now. He owned his own home. And five years of working out and martial arts had created a hard chiseled body. Elaine asked him out for dinner, but Charles refused. He was still attracted to her, but no longer willing to be just a shoulder for her to cry on. He told Elaine how he felt. And although they exchanged telephone numbers, Charles never called Elaine. But the spirits would not let it end there. Charles and Elaine were a good potential match for each other. They were strongly archetype complimentary. The spirits made another effort to bring them together.

There was a former boyfriend of Elaine’s who has abused her. And as “fate” would have it, she ran into him as a club one night. He hounded her and her girlfriend all night. Finally they gave him the slip and left the club. But he followed her home. And he arrived just as her girlfriend was leaving. When she would not open the door for him he became angry. He went to a phone booth nearby and called Elaine and threatened her. In the meantime Elaine had called Charles who lived near her. And Charles arrived on the scene just as the man was kicking down her door. Although the man was bigger, Charles beat him severely. And in so doing he rescued Elaine from a sure beating. The police did not arrive for another fifteen minutes. After that crisis Elaine and Charles saw each other in another light. And each began to se that maybe mistakes could be forgiven, and old misconceptions erased. The next night Elaine came to visit Charles. And that might they both tried to make up for all of the love each other had been missing for the better part of their lives. For Charles and Elaine the alternating cycle of attraction was completed.

Amanmere pp. 219 –220

  Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is http://www.oraclekhemsanu.com/
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Charles The Invisible Man Part 2

1/17/2014

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The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.


“Nice” guys do not finish first. At least as far as their sexual life is concerned. Charles has found out that being a sensitive kind of guy does not always pay. Charles has discovered that being a nice guy has placed him into the second category of men, the “non-select” group. He has discovered that most often his kindness is seen as a sign of weakness. But this situation is his own fault. He can change it. The alternating cycle of attraction will help.

At the age of twenty-two we find Charles excelling on his job, popular in his church, and respected by his neighbors. Many of the mothers in his old neighborhood wish their daughters would bring home a man like Charles. But the daughters disagree. At this point Charles meets Elaine. For Charles, Elaine is one of the carnal women sent by his cycle. Elaine just wants to be friends with Charles. Elaine has the masochistic personality structure. She is also an intelligentsian. Charles tried to romance Elaine but it didn’t work. He took her out on dates and spent money on her, but she insisted the relationship remain platonic. Charles remembered her birthday and knew her favorite color. He calls Elaine beforehand if he will be late for a date. Charles is not cheap, dishonest, or crude, but none of this impressed Elaine. Elaine called Charles to ask him to help her assemble a new piece of exercise equipment. He helped her. She called Charles when she needed help to move into a new apartment. He helped her.

At the same time that Elaine was friends with Charles, she was intimate with Joe. Joe has the psychopathic personality structure. Charles did not know about Joe. Joe rarely took Elaine out for anything, and when they went out Elaine paid half. But she didn’t mind. Joe forgot Elaine’s birthday, and she spent that night alone in tears. Joe has broken two dates with Elaine and never gave her a good explanation. Elaine called Joe to help her assemble that equipment before she called Charles, but Joe said he was busy. He was just watching the game in reality, and just did not wish to be bothered. Two nights later Joe came over while Elaine was working out on her new machine. He made love to her right on the exercise machine Charles had helped put together. The irony never occurred to Elaine. In a few weeks Elaine caught Joe in a lie. She suspected he was seeing another woman, and he had lied about having a beeper. That and other things caused the temporary break up of the relationship between Elaine and Joe. After the break up, Elaine called Charles to cry on his shoulders.

Charles finally decided to give up on Elaine and move on. Female adults have a dual sexual character. That is, they have a spiritual sexual nature, and a carnal sexual nature. And so it follows that they have dual sexual needs, both a set of spiritual sexual needs and a set of carnal sexual needs. But in many females half of their sexual needs are not apparent, or poorly expressed. They are not necessarily fully aware of the needs themselves. For a man to be fully attractive, and fully able to satisfy the opposite sex, he must be aware of and able to fulfill both sets of needs. Charles is not. He is not able to, nor fully motivated to fulfill her carnal set of needs. And therein lies the problem. Charles had a good male friend from Haiti that he met in college. One evening he and his friend were talking about Elaine and women in general over a beer. His friend recommended that Charles pay a visit to a Yoruba priest that he knew. It took a few more beers to convince Charles, but finally he said “what the heck”, and they left to go to the shrine house. It turned out to be a defining event in Charles’ life. The shrine turned out to be a scary place to Charles at first. There were many strange looking objects about that gave the interior a weird vibration. He was expecting the priest to be a strange looking individual and he was. But once he opened his mouth Charles could tell that this was no ordinary man. Charles made his complaint to the shrine, and the priest proceeded to give him a reading. Charles was astonished that the shrine seemed to know a lot about his childhood and family. But the advice that the priest gave him did not seem to make much sense. He had expected that the shrine would give him some magic powder or roots. But what he was told to do had to do with his own personal nature, and his development in life, from his ancestors to that present moment. The deities at that shrine had performed their own sexual portfolio on Charles, better than any we can outline in a book. And they had determined the best steps for Charles to take now, all factors in his life considered. They told Charles what signs to look for in his next female companion.

And so Charles began a transformation. He began to work out at the company gym. He began to reduce his community and church activities and began to focus more energy on building up his masculine nature. He began to read about his inner nature. He took a class in Kung Fu. He followed the instructions of the shrine and went back for several follow-up visits. And soon, just as the shrine had said, Charles met a woman named Michelle, and he could recognize her by certain signs. Michelle had a spiritual persona when compared to Charles, but she was still very physically attractive. She and Charles slowly developed a good relationship. Through his interaction with Michelle, Charles, began to get into greater alignment with the carnal aspect of his masculine persona. He began to get in touch with his assertive, aggressive nature. His root chakra began to open. This was due to the work being done on his behalf at the shrine. And during this period feelings or suppressed anger were stirred up and brought to the surface. The opening of the psychic body created urges and emotions in Charles that he may at first find hard to control or justify. He did not like some of the things he felt himself becoming. For this man can be cruel as well as sensitive. This man does not take rejection well. And sometimes Michelle found him difficult to tolerate. But this phase passed.

To be continued…

Amanmere pp. 217 - 219

Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is http://www.oraclekhemsanu.com/
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Charles  The Invisible Man Part 1

1/13/2014

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The following is an excerpt from Amanmere - The Natural Blueprint For Relationships by Yao Nyamekye Morris. Reprinted with permission.

Charles, The Invisible Man

A few months after his fourteenth birthday, Charles began to have several very intense and vivid dreams. During these dreams Charles found himself in a sexually provocative situation with a female who was sexually exciting to him. There are symbols and hidden messages in the dream. Charles wakes up and finds that during the night he has had a real orgasm. The experiences is more vivid than most dreams, this is because it is not really a dream but a psychic experience. Charles was both excited and embarrassed about his “wet dream.” But because he has not participated in an authentic rites-of-passage program, Charles does not appreciate the spiritual significance of what was happening to him. He tells no one about his first wet dream. Charles does not recognize the girl in his first dream. This dream event was a marker from the spirit world signaling Charles that a change has occurred in his life.

After a few weeks, Charles begins a series of dreams about a girl in his class, Beverly. These dreams do not end in orgasm, but there is a heavy sexual content in them. Beverly is very attractive, outgoing, confident but arrogant. In the dreams, Charles sees Beverly in some circumstance that is extremely provocative. He wants desperately to approach her in the dream but there is some power which seems to hold him back. Beverly seems to suffer in some intangible way for the lack of Charles’ assertiveness. In real life, Charles has always felt some attraction to Beverly, but after the dreams he becomes almost obsessed with her. It is hard to be close to her and not have his heart beat fast. But in real life Charles sees Beverly react to boys in a very crude and demeaning way. He is afraid to approach her for fear that he will be made a fool of in front of the entire school.

At this point in his life, Charles has begun the alternating cycle of attraction, and the third period in the simple cycle of evolution. The wet dream is a signal from the spirit world to Charles. It is not some random biological event. It is done on purpose to alert Charles that the game of life for him has changed significantly. If Charles lived in a spiritual community, he would know that his dream dictated a visit by him to the local shaman, or village elder. The elder would sit down with Charles and his grandparents, and explain the meaning of the dream, and the natural laws the Charles needs to now acquaint himself with. He was supposed to overcome his fear of embarrassment and approach Beverly. Had he done so, he would have found Beverly more receptive than he imagined. The encounter would have been brief, and in a few weeks would have ended with Charles getting his feelings hurt. Nevertheless, the experience would have helped Charles tremendously in his life. As a result of his failure, nature will make the next encounter harder for Charles to avoid. In relation to Charles, Beverly is a Bohemian. In the cycle; she counts as one of the carnal women Charles will encounter in the cycle.

There are two general classes of personality that compose the two types of the cycle. The first type, the bohemians, constitutes the members of the opposite sex who stimulate us in a carnal way. However, they may have some shortcomings as far as the virtues are concerned. Beverly has an anal personality structure. While Charles is very attracted to Beverly, she probably will not be as attracted to him. There is a down side to any interaction between Beverly and Charles and that is a part of the lesson that Charles is supposed to learn from the encounter. But Charles avoided the encounter, which was a mistake. It is also important to note that Charles has an obligation to Beverly as well as himself to follow through on the cycle. For there is an important lesson for Beverly to learn from Charles. She may not hold much interest in Charles now, the potential lesson she can learn, would be of very great important to her later in life. Also remember, that while Charles may find Beverly very appealing, some other male may not.

After the first encounter is over, the spirits of nature begin to influence things so that the second female comes into Charles’ sphere of activity. Her name is Joan, and she is an intelligentsian. Joan has a psychopathic personality structure. Prior to meeting her, Charles has a dream to alert him to her coming. He dreams that he is given a job to do in a church. In the dream a woman comes to his assistance. He can not see her face in the dream, but gets a sense of her personality. Soon after the dream, Charles meets Joan after a church service. Her personality reminds him of the feeling her had in the dream. The cycle has reversed in its polarity. This is how it works. Now Charles is the bohemian compared to Joan. For Joan, Charles is a carnal man. She sees Charles in the same way that Charles saw Beverly. Joan is very attracted to Charles physically. Charles likes Joan, but is not really excited about her in a sexual way. Charles can appreciate other abilities that Joan has, but at such a young age he is more concerned about sexual appeal and peer acceptance. He is unaware of the importance of this encounter as far as his sexual future is concerned. More importantly, he is unaware, and not much concerned about the effect of this encounter on Joan.

Charles and Joan begin to see each other when the parents will allow. The relationship is not an intimate one although Joan would like for it to be. For a few months Joan’s life is a little brighter, but the encounter takes a turn for the worse. A new girl moves into the neighborhood and takes an interest in Charles. She is older and prettier than Joan and her parents allow her to date. The boys in Charles’ crew think that the new girl is “hot”. Charles likes the feeling of being around a girl that other boys want very much. Very soon Charles decides to put more distance between him and Joan. Joan is rejected and experience leaves her feeling sad and bitter. She feels inferior to the older girl. Her self esteem suffers. Her parents and friends try to consul her, but in her heart a rift begins to form. She feels more distant from Black men.

Charles’ second sexual encounter has ended. Although Charles has no knowledge of it, he is being evaluated by spiritual beings in another realm. He has failed again. He does not understand the game. He has no conception of the nature of the playing field, or the nature of the referee. While our spirit guides want for us to succeed, they can only assist us so much when we make poor judgements. Charles is judged as a failure in his second encounter because he did not stay in the relationship long enough to learn the lesson intended. And even more important, the manner in which he ended the relationship caused undue pain, and negated any positive experience that Joan might have had. In a relationship, Charles is just as much responsible for the evolution of Joan as he is for his own evolution. That is how the agents of heaven and earth see it. That is how we are evaluated.


 We skip ahead a few years to rejoin Charles as an adult. He has just finished college. Remember Charles from our discussion of the oral personality structure? Charles is five feet, nine inches tall, and weighs one hundred fifty-five pounds. Charles grew up in the suburbs with one parent at home, his mother. Charles has just started to work for the telephone company. Charles is comfortable in academic settings and in church. He believes strongly in community service and works to support several civic organizations. He is respected in the community. In youth Charles was not good at most sports. He ran track in high school but was never outstanding. He made good grades and the combination caused him to be branded. The first defining moment of Charles’s life relates to his intellect and not his romantic life. This was the day he graduated with honors from a very prestigious university on the East Coast.

Charles was born on February 15 to archetype seven. That gives him the imprint of the “pilot” upon his inner nature. Next is his psychic persona which is the oral personality structure. A quick examination of Charles’ sexual portfolio and general sexual behavior will reveal that Charles exhibits the characteristics of a reverent intelligentsia male. He is sexually repressed carnally, and has an imbalanced sexual persona. Over this is layered his final persona, his outer persona, which is determined from astrology, and he is an aquarius. On the scale most women would rate him a six in looks, and a five overall.

Charles has developed into a pretty good fellow. But he has a big problem. He has been branded by his female peers. He and his male peers have not been that successful in the dating game. Charles’ crew does not attract attention to themselves, although some would like to. There is a saying among them that, “If you want to get noticed as a Black man, you must sing, play ball or commit a crime.” Perhaps that is not totally true, but they do seem to have been neglected. Charles does not sing, play professional sports, sell drugs, or have pick-up lines. In fact he has done a lot of good in the community. Even so, he is an outcast. He has been stigmatized in a very negative way. Attractive women have branded him in the most debilitating manner that a man can be. He has been labeled a “nice” guy.

To Be Continued…

Amanmere pp. 214 - 217

Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is http://www.oraclekhemsanu.com/.

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