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Do Right Men Win in the End

3/29/2015

            There’s a general feeling in society that “Nice Guys” finish last.   At least in regards to getting attractive women.   Even with the categories of men I present, Nice Guys are on the lowest rung of the sexual totem pole.   Like everything else in life there are nuances that must be taken into consideration.   When one looks at it there are several types of Nice Guys.   Let’s break it down.

            When a woman places a man into the Nice Guy category she is not necessarily saying that he is a “good” person.   “Nice” is womanese for “doesn’t turn her on sexually.”   That’s it.   Many men in the Nice Guy category are assholes and after talking with them for as little as a few minutes it’s easy to see why women are not feeling them.    Contrary to popular belief women really don’t like assholes.   Now I know we have all seen a beautiful woman in the company of a man we know to be a jerk.   The issue is men tend to assume it was the man’s behavior that got the woman.   I’ve talked to women who get with “bad boys.”   In EVERY case the woman will say one of two things.   They will say that they find the man very physically attractive or they will find the man very sexually attractive.   Now some men looking from the outside will say that the bad boys were ugly so it must have been their personality.   Bullshit.   A heterosexual man CANNOT look at another man and see what a woman SEES and most importantly FEELS. The simple reason is that men do not have vaginas.

            So a Nice Guy is simply someone who doesn’t turn on women.   It has nothing to do with his actual personality.   Now there is another type of Nice Guy that turns on women.   These are the men women are talking about when they say they want a “Nice Guy.”   For the sake of identification I will call these men, “Do Right Men.”    This is a term that was used back in the day to describe men who were genuine good men.   They were “good peoples” as we also said back in the day.

            The Do Right Man is the type of man who isn’t trying to be a womanizer.    This cat wants to be in a relationship with a good woman.   The Do Right Man stays out of trouble.   He is sincere in whatever spiritual path he chooses to follow.   He is very hard-working and responsible.   Even though some women may call him lame or corny he isn’t a punk.   If he has to throw hands he can do so with the best of them.   The Do Right Man isn’t male model handsome and he doesn’t give women an immediate vagina tingle.   He’s a regular dude just trying to make it in the world.   Many of them go a step beyond and try to make a difference in their communities whether it is coaching a youth football team or mentoring young boys in their neighborhoods.   To be honest with you they are not among the select group of men.    Yet they are the ones that win in the end.   I’ll explain why I say that.

            What I do is pay attention to sexual dynamics and politics.   In doing that I pay close attention to the men who are successful in their relationship goals.   On the surface it looks like Mr. Goodbar is successful.   Mr. Goodbar gets the most sex but many reach old age alone.   Many Mr. Goodbars have confided in me about how jacked up their lives really are.   Many Masked Men go through life afraid to take off their masks because they know they will be rejected.   Gamesmen are not winning the relationship sweepstakes even though they delude themselves into thinking otherwise.   The average Nice Guy becomes bitter and drops out of the game.   The men who are the most successful in reaching their relationship goals are the Do Right Men.

            Let’s be clear about the Do Right Men.   They don’t just meet Ms. Right and live happily ever after.   The Do Right Man has to go through some stuff to get to the right woman.   Straight up the average Do Right Man will not meet that right woman until his late thirties, or early forties.   Some don’t meet that right woman until they are in their fifties.   Now I know what I wrote has just depressed some men but I keep it raw.   Too many men fantasize about that twenty year old with the pretty face and tight body but a big problem in the Male Dating Advice Industry is that too many men have unrealistic notions about male/female relationships.   First of all a person will only be in the 18 – 25 years of their life for a little while. What about the rest of their lives?   Also that woman who is 120 lbs. at 22 years old may be 220 lbs. at the age of 32.    The reality is that VERY few men are going to meet a woman who is right for them in their early twenties.   Anybody telling you otherwise is scamming you.

            The Do Right Man is going to have to go through some things to get to that right woman.   The issue is not so much him. Yes all men need to be working to improve themselves but a reality is that many women out here are wack.   One problem in the dating world is that it is considered okay to criticize men for any perceived shortcomings but it is considered bashing if men criticize women. Whatever.   The reality is that many women out here got major work to do.   Now the Do Right Man is going to go through a negative women.   Let me count the ways.

            The Do Right Man by his very nature is a responsible mature man.   A criticism, if one can call it that, is that the Do Right Man isn’t the life of the party type of dude.    Many women are turned off by mature acting men.   Many women, including many who are in their thirties, forties, and sadly their fifties are immature.   They are LITTLE GIRLS.

            Here’s some raw game for the reader.   I always do categories of men but in my notes and observations there are several categories of women.   There are two general categories of females.   There are Little Girls and there are Grown Women.   Little Girls on the surface may look like productive members of society. They may have a degree, good paying job, a house, car, and good credit.   Emotionally, however, they are little girls.   If you think about little girls two things stand out. One, they are “me, me, me.”   Everything is about satisfying their ego.   Two, and this ties in closely with the first, is that they get caught up in romantic illusions.   These are the women in their forties who are SINCERELY looking for Prince Charming. Regardless of what they have to offer they want a tall, rich, and handsome man.   These women live in fantasy land.   They can have a great man and break up with him or divorce him because he’s not romantic enough in their eyes.   Little Girls only want to receive but they never really give anything.

            The Grown Woman in contrast is very giving.   She doesn’t have a problem catering to a man. She’ll make a big dinner for him and be submissive. She knows that she will get back what she gives. When the Grown Woman mates she doesn’t do so based on romantic notions.   The Grown Woman is realistic.   She don’t have time for the romantic illusion bullshit. She appreciates flowers and a romantic dinner but she also appreciates a hardworking man who’s going to be responsible and handle his business with respect to the family.   The Grown Woman don’t have time for Little Girl games. The Grown Woman has a lot of common sense. At the same time while she is giving and submissive she doesn’t take any bullshit off of a man.   She doesn’t mess with little boys.   A man has to come correct with a Grown Woman.

            Before I go further I want to say something about the whole submission thing which seems to be a dirty word with many women.   My thing is this, submission works the best with getting a man.   I’ve known both submissive and non-submissive women.   The non-submissive women are usually by themselves. If they get a man he's a weak man they don’t respect and thus they are unfulfilled in their relationships.   Many non-submissive women are suffering depression and have other mental health issues because they don’t have a man even though they present a strong mask publically.   In contrast most submissive women I have encountered are happy and will have a man who is working two jobs to keep them happy.   If that man slips there are usually three or more men waiting in the cut to take his place.   Think on following:

            A WOMAN BY BEING SUBMISSIVE HAS MORE CONTROL OVER A MAN THAN A NON-SUBMISSIVE WOMAN.

            Chew on that for a bit.

            Back to the regularly scheduled blog, Do Right Men do not attract Little Girls.   That’s not a bad thing.   At the time it seems bad.   A man works hard, does the right thing, volunteers to mentor young boys, goes to church and yet he sees the sexually attractive women fight over the chronically unemployed loser with his pants hanging off his ass.   The Do Right Man should count his blessings.   A woman will always be attracted to her inner reflection.   If a woman rejects a Do Right Man that means she is not a Do Right Woman.   She is not Grown Woman, she is a Little Girl.   Even in rejection the Do Right Man wins.   Many good men are getting their checks garnished because they got caught up with a Little Girl.   Many good men are paying for children that are not biologically theirs as paternity fraud is big.   Even in being rejected Do Right Man wins.

            The Do Right Man as long as he keeps his integrity and continues to stand up always attracts the Grown Women.     Now he will go through some stuff to get there.    Let there be no illusions.   The Do Right Man may have to go through a bad marriage, a bad relationship, and even some baby mama drama.   That’s life though.   Life isn’t supposed to be a picnic.   People have to work for whatever they want and they will be tested.   I’m here to say that if they pass the test they win.

            To the Do Right Men reading this, keep doing you.    I know it seems like the women are preferring bad boys or thugs.   Those are Little Girls and thank whichever Deity you worship that these females passed you by.   Steel is forged through fire and sharpened by other steel. Life is that fire. Relationship disappointments are that steel.   Don’t get bitter and realize that at the end of the day you will stand triumphant.

4 Comments

Lying on that D

3/15/2015

6 Comments

            Something that has cracked me since I was young is dudes who lie about the number of women they’ve had sex with.   As we used to say back in the day, “lying on they dick.”   We’ve all met them. Usually they say something like “I’ve been with so many women I can’t even give you a number.”   Or they give a number that’s in the three figures.   They’ll say they had sex not only with over 100 women but that all the women were very attractive rating from 8 to 10 on the infamous scale.   Yeah…

            Where do I start with this?

            First of all in the world of men, ONE thing that will cause a heterosexual man to respect another man is the ability to pull women.   I remember back in the nineties I was on the street in front of my apartment building. Across the street was a brotha who was dealing with a stalled car.   At the same time a relatively tall Asian woman with a mini skirt and killer legs walked out of the building.   Now me and the Asian woman were having a fling at the time.   So when she walked out we spoke for maybe ten minutes and then she left to take care of business.   The brotha who witnessed the interaction and picked up that there was more going on between me and the young lady, walked across the street, looked at me and then looked at the young lady as she walked away.   The brotha then invited me to a private party.   As the saying goes, “game recognizes game.”   He respected me because he knew I had pulled a fine ass woman.   That’s how it is in the world of men. This is why successful men will go for trophy women.

            Now many men in order to get respect from other men will inflate the number of women they have been with.   Total opposite of women.   For example a woman has had sex with ten men.   If anybody were to ask her she will say she has had sex with five men.   Of course she was in relationships with the five men at the time.    She omits the two one night stands she had.   She neglects to mention the fling she had with a neighbor.   She doesn’t talk about being a side piece for a year to a married man.   Finally, there was the time she had pity sex with the ugly, out of shape loser who was a genuine nice guy.   Of course she only talks about when she was penetrated in her vagina.   Her sexual CONTACT number is in the forties.   She doesn’t count the number of dicks she sucked, or the times she let a man eat her out or suck her titties.

            So while women are under counting, men are over counting.   If a man tells me he’s been with fifty women I always divide that in half.   So we down to twenty-five.   Unlike women most men count every sexual contact.   Out of that twenty-five, the man only penetrated vaginally nine women.   Six of the women only let him perform oral sex on them. Five of them let the man suck their breasts and nothing else.   Four of the women just sucked his dick.   One woman spent the night in his bed half naked and let him feel her up but allowed nothing else.   Of course the typical man is going to inflate his numbers in order to look good to his peers.

            Okay, dudes are going to lie on their dicks.   Overall it’s not major issue if men do so in barbershops or on the street corner.   Men bond on talking some bullshit. It’s part of the game and the average man with street smarts knows this.   The problem I have is when men do so in the context of the Male Dating Advice Industry.   You have dating coaches, bloggers, and seduction gurus who will say they’ve been with hundreds of women in order to get men to buy their products.   They will back up their claims with pictures of them with beautiful women or videos of them kissing women in the streets.   Someone naïve thinks that these men are actually having sex with these women when in reality many of these “experts” are hiring models.

            Here’s the biggest single issue I have with many men saying they’ve been with hundreds of women: They never talk about the problems that come from dealing with multiple women.    I don’t care how Playa, Mack, Pimp, or Pick-Up Artist a man thinks he is, there are going to be issues when dealing with multiple women.    Let me count the ways.

            First of all, you have ordinary looking men with average bodies and modest incomes talking about they have sex with several very attractive women.   That’s some bullshit for one simple reason.   The overwhelming majority of women in ANY culture are not going to be facially beautiful with sexy bodies.   In American society the AVERAGE woman is plain looking, short, and slightly overweight.   Seriously I challenge any man reading this to ask himself the following question, “How often do I see a woman I would rate as at least an Eight?”   Even men who spend most of their time in bars and clubs are not going to see a lot of women that attractive.   Even on college campuses where there are young women in their sexual prime how many of them are extremely attractive? I watch a lot of college basketball and the camera ALWAYS finds the cheerleaders.   Anybody who knows anything about the cheerleading subculture (yes it’s a subculture) knows that the women are chosen based on physical attractiveness even if this is not stated publically.   Watching these cheerleaders on TV if you look at most from the neck up they are not extremely attractive but were probably the best candidates at a particular school.   Models, pin-up girls, and the like make money because they are RARE.   If a man has truly had sex with over a hundred women it is likely only three of them were extremely attractive.   The rest were likely average and slightly overweight.

            Another issue is that when men claim to have high counts it they NEVER seem to have any stories of any major drama.   It’s always a case of meeting a very beautiful woman, running some type of game, and having sex with her that same night.   Then this very beautiful woman just goes her own merry way and the man goes to work on his next drop dead gorgeous conquest.   Bullshit!   First of all if a man has sex with a physically attractive women he will likely want to have sex with her again.   Very beautiful women make the most cold-blooded players think in terms settling down. Especially if she is good in bed and can make a sweet potato pie. That’s the male fantasy right there.   The reality is different.

            Men who have high counts are for the most part messing with average and even ugly women with average shapes. A man is typically not going to catch feelings for an average woman.   Even though the propaganda is that average women are nicer than beautiful ones, that is usually not the case.   Many average women have major issues.   A man dealing with multiple women has to deal with a lot of mental illness.   Women know if they’re dealing with a man who really doesn’t care for them beyond sex.   Yet they will still deal with that man.   Then when the man decides to move on, the women start engaging in obsessive behavior particular if the dick was real good.   These women will show up at a man’s place unannounced, do a drive by at 2 in in the morning, call or text him at all day long.   I’ve known women who have camped out in front of a man’s home. Some men get assaulted. Domestic violence goes both ways.

            So if man says he has had sex with over a hundred women and I feel like challenging him I’m going to ask a few questions.   I will ask about level of attractiveness and mental health issues.   I will also ask how many pregnancy scares has he had.   I will ask how many times he has had to pay for an abortion.   I will ask how many kids he has.   I will ask how many times he has had to get a shot in the butt because he caught an STD.   The more women a man deals the more chances that there are going to be some unintended consequences.

            The thing is that there are men who have been legitimately been with multiple women.   The conversation with them is way different from men who are lying on their dicks.   Let me let y’all in on something.   The back of my book, Nice Guys and Players says the following:

            Are you a nice guys constantly passed over by women? Are you a player who can get every woman except the one you love?

            The men who have supported my book the most have never been Nice Guys. In fact the biggest criticisms of my book has come from the men who need the book the most.   The men who have supported me the most have been the pretty boys, the musclemen, and the Macks.   I’ve had true to the game Pimps give me props.   The reason for that support is that they can truly relate to my perspective.

            Men who have truly been with a large number of women know the problems that come from a high count.   These men are trying to limit their number. Many will even get married in an attempt to control their nature.   Yeah the sex is good, even great in some cases but what comes along with it can be emotionally draining.   See when a man penetrates a women physically she is also penetrating him mentally.   A man is trying to plant his physical seed and a woman is trying to plant her mental seed.   Many men get in trouble because they have sex with a woman with a jacked-up mentality.   They have sex with her a few times and then wonder why their lives start falling apart.   That’s because she is planting negative thoughts in their head.   It’s like what a friend said about an extremely sexy woman we both knew, “She can get a man killed.”   This woman was both sexy and highly intelligent.   She knew how to plant seeds in men’s minds.   A man dealing with multiple women has to be mentally strong because every single woman he deals with is trying to plant her seed in order to fulfill HER agenda.

            There are men paying thousands of dollars to learn how to be players.   It’s not a lifestyle for every man.   It’s telling that the men who are actually living that lifestyle are trying to get out. Some will even go into therapy for sex addiction.   I actually had more than one player wish they could be ordinary men. One even thought about suicide.   When it gets down to it that’s why I feel a little anger when men obviously lie on their dicks.   They try to paint a picture of a great lifestyle but it is an illusion. It’s a drug. The high feels good but when one comes down they feel terrible.

            Ultimately men need to focus on quality and not quantity. The most impressive thing to say to me is not, “I’ve been with over hundred women.”   It impresses me more when a man says I’ve been with five women who helped me to become a success.”

            Now that’s what men need to be saying.

6 Comments

Raw Game Remix: Blowing it with Mr. Right

3/8/2015

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         I wrote the following blog back in April 2014.   In this blog I first introduced the character of "Dexter Goodbar."   "Dexter" helps me to illustrate important points.   In this particular blog I talked about a reality that people see but don't publically acknowledge.   That reality is that many women will leave a good man but because they want to save face will not simply say, "I made a mistake."   Many women are invested in the idea of being strong and being right. All they are really hurting is themselves.   I wish I had a dime every time a woman told me about a man from their past that they wished they had either got with, or had never left.   Of course they say this privately.   Many of the women who complain publically about a "shortage of good men" know they had one at one time and blew it through their own behavior.   Ironically the same "Patriarchy" that many women, particularly Feminists, complain about allows women to run from accountability for their actions.   It's easier to blame the man but in all cases there are two sides to a story.

       In terms of Raw Game there is a ton of it in this blog.   Read this one with a third eye open.

*********************

            Where are the good men?” This is a universal question asked by millions of women.   Whether in the news media, social media, living rooms, beauty salons, or bars, women want to find the good men.   Men usually answer by saying, “I’m right here.”   Of course many women don’t agree with the men. When you think about it there is a whole industry devoted to the concept that women have trouble finding “good men.”   There is another angle to this that is rarely discussed publically.   The angle is that many women will have a “good man” and leave the relationship.

            Now understand where I’m coming from when I say women will leave a good man.   I’m not talking about a woman leaving some boring man or an abusive asshole, both of whom consider themselves good men.   I’m talking about women leaving men they consider to be Mr. Right.   The women will have a great relationship and think highly of their men.   The women will be happy.   There will be minor problems that come up because both parties are human but nothing that can’t be worked out.   Thing is, though the couple can be happy, there are outside forces that can destroy a good relationship.   Let me give y’all a scenario based on real-life conversations and experiences I’ve had with hundreds of women and scores of men.

****************

            Freddy and Linda Doright have been married for five years with a young daughter.   Everything is good in their marriage for the most part.   They don’t have the same excitement they had while dating but they still have a good time together.    There are some things that could be improved.   Freddy could be a little more romantic in Linda’s eyes.   Instead of communicating this with him she talks with her girlfriends, Betty, April, and Doreen.   Her girlfriends are all single and have a tendency to bash men.

            So they start getting in Linda's ear. They magnify everything Freddy isn’t doing right.   After a few months, they collectively tell Linda, “girl you deserve better.”   Now Freddy is a hard worker, handsome, nice body, and committed to being a one-woman man.   The sex life is even good.   Yeah they could go out more but Linda never expresses her desire to do so. Freddy thinks everything is cool.

            After listening to her girlfriends, Linda starts holding back on sex and minor things become major arguments.   After one major argument she tells Freddy he needs to leave.   So Freddy moves out and now they are separated.    Her girlfriends come over to console her. After a few weeks they come over to take her on a “girl’s night out.”   So they’re at the club having a good time and then HE walks up. Dexter. Dexter Goodbar.   Six foot, handsome, almond eyes, muscular, a stylish dresser, with a sexy walk.   Linda and her girlfriends had been checking out Dexter as he erotically danced with a woman on the dance floor. Dexter sees that he has been chosen and thus makes his move.

            Dexter starts spitting that smooth game with that sexy voice.   Getting Linda wet as he hits her with a verbal aphrodisiac and a piercing gaze. Next thing you know Linda is going home with Dexter. They get to his place and Linda says, “You know I usually don’t do this.”   Dexter looks at Linda, grabs her hand, pulls her to him and kisses her fiercely.   Next thing you know the clothes are off and Dexter is doing her. Not just doing her but doing her…WELL. Linda has several orgasms

            After a month of sex with Dexter, Linda decides to file for divorce. She’s convinced she’s found her soulmate.   She files the papers and tells Dexter.

            Linda: I’ve filed for divorce from my husband.   We can be together now.

            Dexter:    Together? Who told you it was like that?

            Linda:   We have something special together. I want to be with you.

          Dexter:   You better get out of here with that shit. I just wanted some pussy.   Don’t get me wrong, you suck a mean ass dick but my other women got skills too.

            Linda: I thought I was the only one?

            Dexter: I ain’t never tell you that.   You need to get your shit and go.

            Linda: Just like that?

            Dexter: Yeah just like that.

           Linda leaves Dexter’s place feeling depressed and humiliated.   She is consoled by her girlfriends, April and Doreen.   She thinks she made a mistake in filing for a divorce.   She thinks she should try to reconcile with Freddy.   While talking with April and Doreen, Linda asks about Betty.   They say that Betty has pulled away from them lately. They are not sure what’s going on with her.   So where’s Betty?   Hmmmm.

          While Dexter had Linda’s ankles up by her head, Freddy was at his small place trying to make sense of everything. All he was doing was going to work and coming home sleeping. One day he is on a social media site and he gets a private message from Betty. She asks how he is doing.    He said he’s making it. Betty said it’s too bad what’s happened and that Freddy is a good man.    Ironically Betty was the main one telling Linda she needed to leave Freddy.   They message each other a few more times and then talk on the phone.   Betty calls him one day and asks if she can come over for a few minutes because his apartment is on the way to an appointment she has.   Freddy without thinking says, “Yeah sure.”

         A few hours later Freddy hears a knock on his door, when he answers it he sees a stunning sight.   Betty is standing at his door with a short black dress on that shows off her perky breasts, hugs her round ass, and showcases her shapely legs.   She has her hair done and some four inch heels.   On top of that she is holding a plate of food talking about Freddy would appreciate a home cooked meal.    Freddy takes the plate to the kitchen and when he gets back to the living room Betty has made herself at home on the couch.   Freddy sits on the couch with her. Betty crosses her legs in Freddy’s direction revealing just enough thigh to make a normally reasonable man stupid.   Game over.

        Actually it was game over when she was standing at the door with the plate of food.

        A few weeks later Linda stops by to surprise Freddy and to talk about reconciling.   Linda gets the surprise though when Betty answers the door in a silk bathrobe.   In one moment Linda realizes she lost a good man.

********************
        This scenario is based on conversations I’ve had with the Freddy’s and Linda’s of the world.   I’ve had a WHOLE lot of conversations with the Betty’s of the world.   Scandalous women like and trust me for some reason. It’s probably why I have a great understanding of women. But I digress. That’s another blog.

         See many women will have a good man and not even know they have a good man.   Many women out here may excel at their careers and have a lot of book smarts but will lack street smarts.   Many women grow up sheltered and may not have any significant contact with men until they are young adults and out in the world.   They didn’t run the streets.   They weren’t going to parties. Many went through high school without a boyfriend. They were usually the awkward girls, the ugly ducklings, the late bloomers, the nerdy girls.   They weren’t the party girls who have been sexually active since the age of ten and who ironically enough know a good man because they have a lot of experience with the bad ones.

           Many women will get married or in a relationship without having a lot of contact with men.   I don’t just mean sexual contact but contact period. Many women don’t even have male friends or even male cousins around to truly learn about the male species.   So they really don’t have enough experience to know they got something good on their hands.   An old school player told me when I was a teenager that he would rather marry a woman who has been with thirty men than one who has been with only two. His reasoning was that the woman who has been only two men would at some point get the urge to cheat because she would always wonder what she is missing out on.   Whereas the woman who had thirty men knows most men aren’t for her and would truly appreciate a good man.

             Only a true player understands that wisdom.   I learned the game from street cats and hustlers. Men who could read a person better than a psychologist because their lives depended on it.   Keep in mind many Pimps end up marrying their top prostitute.

        In the scenario Linda’s marriage was wrecked by her “friends.”   Many women think the women they have around them have their best interest at heart.   Women are very competitive with each other and very bitchy.   Many women will sabotage their “friend’s” relationship because they hate to see another woman happy. Jealousy is a beast. Women will say they don’t have a lot of female friends for this reason.

        Another factor is that you have women who have no problem going after the husband or boyfriend of one of their friends. In fact, some women are so bad with this that you could introduce them a single man who has everything going for him but they will reject him. Yet the man becomes desirable the second he’s seen with a woman.   Every single woman needs to take any advice about their man from another woman with a grain of salt.

           Then there’s the Dexter factor.   Most women don’t get a chance to get with that physically attractive man oozing sex appeal. There are women who had good men who provided for them and satisfied them sexually. The women would tell me they had good men and tell me how good they were.   Then all of sudden that smooth man with the big chest and soothing voice walks into the scene and it’s game over.   There is a sub-population of men who have that type of sex appeal. Women meet these men and their common sense goes out the door.   Some women have enough sense to limit their interaction with a Dexter to a fling.   Many women however think there’s something more there and leave a good man thinking there’s a future with Dexter. Of course they get their feelings hurt when they realize they were just a warm body to satisfy Dexter’s lustful nature.   A few women are lucky enough to get back with their men.   Most lose out because the Bettys swoop in to get that man.

       Straight up, many women need to stop complaining about a shortage of good men.   Many women know they had a good man and they blew it by listening to their jealous girlfriends.   They know they blew something good because they wanted to chase Mr. Goodbar.

        Someone without street smarts may question everything I wrote.   When I tell somebody something, or post something on a message board, or text somebody some deep knowledge I will often say, “Ask me how I know.”   There’s some women who knew me in the early nineties.   They worked in the adult entertainment industry.   If they see my picture on the internet or run into me they won’t call me Rom.   They’ll call me Dexter.

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Different Worlds of Men

3/1/2015

1 Comment

            I lurk on a lot of websites, blogs, and pages on social media.   I like being a fly on the wall just to see what people think about different things.   As someone who studies subcultures I find the worldviews expressed in these different communities to be very fascinating. Yes I call them communities because even how people interact in the comments section of popular blogs is the same way that people interact in the real world.   You have your dominant persons and you have your followers.   Even within the virtual communities there are cliques.    I’m not going to get to deep into the workings of virtual subcultures.   Well maybe in another blog when I need something to write about. This particular blog I want to write about the different worlds of men.

            A foundation of my relationship books is the different categories of men.   What is interesting about these different categories is that they represent actual personality structures that have developed in this culture.   The development is the combination of nature and nurture.   Most men in the Mr. Goodbar category have good genetics.   Most have symmetrical and muscular body builds which naturally arouse women.   Women will naturally choose them.   Whether or not they take advantage of the good genetics is a matter of nurture.   A boy with good genetics growing up in a low income, crime ridden neighborhood is likely to grow up to be Mr. Goodbar. A boy with the same good genetics who grows up in an upper class gated community is likely to be a Masked Man.

            That’s some raw game there that I don’t give away for free.   The member’s only site is coming soon.

            Getting back to the different websites I lurk on I have found some rather interesting dynamics with regard to men in particular.   I check out some women’s web spots as well when I can find them.   Women as a group tend to keep their real juicy conversations away from prying eyes.   Women are real good at hiding their sexual faces despite what many men think.   How to read those sexual faces will be something else for the member’s only site.    Men though, we put it out there.   Most men tell everything whether it’s true or not.   I find the different worlds of men to be interesting in regard to how they interact with women.    I’ll share examples of some of these worlds.   I won’t give websites because none of these dudes are paying me to advertise for them.   I’ll use colorful nicknames.

            There one site I lurk on I’ll call “Incel World.”   Incel refers to “involuntarily celibacy.”   These are men who go long periods of time without sex.   From how they describe themselves they are not the most handsome or muscular men.    A belief in this community is that only the most handsome and robust men who they refer to as “slayers” get the lion’s share of sex from attractive women.   I emphasize attractive women because many Incels are only attracted to the most physically beautiful women and they have little to no interest in the average and ugly women who are more in their league.   These men spend an inordinate amount of time judging each other’s looks as well as the looks of “male models.”   This community is based on the primacy of looks, status, and money.   Intangibles such as personality and charisma are outside of belief system of this community.

            Another site I check out every now and then is what I call “Scuzzy Playa World.”   This community is about that game.   These are lower end Gamesmen.   These men are about getting the pussy by any means necessary.   It doesn’t really matter the quality of women either.   The men in this community idolize attractive women like most normal men but are not above sex with any female with a pulse. From how these men talk I really don’t think most of them would pass up a drunk, average looking, overweight young woman who was on the autism spectrum.   Most people have met that one man who will stick his dick in anything female.   The “Scuzzy Playa World” is a whole community of such men.

            Several websites make up what I call the “Bitter Man Nation.”    These websites, blogs, and pages on social media are filled with men who spend their time bashing women.   These are typically men who are in the Nice Guy category who have started to act out after being constantly rejected not only by attractive women but average ones as well.    These men didn’t start off bashing women.   Indeed as a group these men at one time put women on pedestals. That is until they’ve been friendzoned for the umpteenth time. Another scenario is when they find out their prudish girlfriend who is making them wait for sex is doing the freaky-freaky with the local meth dealer. At some point they snap.   Constant rejection can literally kill somebody. Most male suicide is because of rejection.   The bitter men instead of slowly killing themselves have decided to strike back viciously.

            One website I check out I’ll call the “Better Man World.”   These men as a group are generally positive towards women. In this community these men are dedicated to improving themselves not just for women but for themselves in general.   The men in this community are likely to talk about business and making money as they are about women. They recognize that everything is connected.   These are not men who were blessed with great genetics. These are average dudes who know they need to improve their bodies, work on their social skills, and make more money.    A key word used in this community is “upgrade.”   As far as women they idolize the most attractive women but also look for women who have “their minds right.”   Men in this community will skip over a woman with the pretty face and phat booty if she brings nothing else to the table.

            Now one community I’ll call “Poly World.”   This community is UNDERGROUND. A search engine will not find this community. A man has to be INVITED to be a part of this community.   The men in this community go beyond what is taught publically as game, dating advice, or seduction.   The conversations in this community isn’t about dressing well, working out, or what type of game to run to get a woman.   The men in this community are typically involved in relationships with three or more women at any given moment.   The conversations in this community focus on how to manage multiple women. The typical complaint in this community is having too many women and dealing with the drama that brings.

            Here’s the interesting thing about all of this.   The men from these different worlds RARELY interact with each other socially.   There are invisible boundaries that separate these worlds. It is in a man’s true nature to set up boundaries.   These boundaries range from the personal space of a man to being the citizen of a particular country.   When men join with other men they set up a boundary.   Boys who live on a particular street will set up a boundary based on that location.   They will have loyalty to the boys on that street and see others as outsiders.   Street gangs are nothing but boundaries.   Many boundaries are set up around religious and political themes.   The Samurai were a boundary as were the Nazis as well as ISIS.   The boundaries of the communities I just outlined are set up around having the same mindset about relationships with women.

            Boundaries like everything in life have good and bad sides depending on the perspective of the men.   A boundary can be good if it promotes personal evolution.   At the same time it can be bad if it prevents a man from learning something new.   Using the above examples I provided the boundaries are preventing many men from growing.   A great example is the Incel World and the Poly World. One group of men has trouble getting any woman while the other group has to limit the number of women they are willing to deal with.   The Incels could learn a lot from the Polys but the boundaries would prevent this. One issue is just the perspective.   It’s hard for two people with two different perspectives to communicate. Two, race would be a boundary since the Incel World is primarily white, and the Poly World is primarily Black.   Yet there is something in the Incel perspective that is valuable because looks are a factor in mating decisions. The Poly perspective is valuable for the most part these are average looking men.   Yet that conversation isn’t happening.

            The Bitter Men could learn a lot from the Better Men.   The Better Men have been rejected but instead of becoming mad they were inspired to improve which helps them in life period.   Better Men can learn from Bitter Men because Bitter Men do have a tendency to call out negative behavior in women.   Yet the boundaries are in place.   The groups are not interacting.

            One good thing about scuzzy playas is that they are realistic and pragmatic. Many men have problems with women because they are looking for the perfect Tens.   Women who would be rated a Ten without the help of makeup, body shaping clothes, and someone good with Photoshop are rare.   The average woman in Western society is short and slightly overweight. Most women are average looking.   Yet they are still very good women who have a lot to offer a man.   With the right makeup and clothes many of these women are very attractive.   Many men lose out on these women. The scuzzy playa will talk to that woman even if she is wearing sweats.   The scuzzy playa has a lot to teach.

            The takeaway I want a man to get from this blog is to go outside your boundaries or better yet expand them.   Any man can have several boundaries.   “Circles within a circle.”   To navigate life a man needs to have knowledge. As a former pimp once said to me a man had to be in the streets. What he meant was that a man needs to know what’s going on in the world.   Most men don’t grow because they stay in their little worlds.   Personally I know a lot about different things because I’m always exploring to gain knowledge.   Knowledge brings me power to move through life with authority.

            Fellas, go visit some new worlds.

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