The following post was originally published on November 23, 2014. I shared some deep knowledge in this one. Let me know what you think.
I’ve been writing and talking about relationship issues for nearly twenty years now. I’ve been paying attention to male/female relationship dynamics for even longer. Despite all of the relationship writers, therapists, movies, and old school player comedians, things have not got any better. Thing have got progressively worse. Way worse. An associate once said that it’s not that the plane is going down in flames, it has already crashed and the survivors are walking around dazed and confused.
Now I’m one of those people who likes to see the big picture on one hand and will also dig deep and break something down. There’s a reality that many people who care about these matters don’t see. For those who see this reality they don’t stop and ponder the significance of what they are seeing. The reality is that there are people out there who consistently get what they want out of relationships. This subpopulation of people will consistently get dates, marriage proposals, money, and lots and lots of sex. So who are these people? They are those women we call Bimbos and their male counterparts, Himbos. Grouped together for purposes of this blog I’ll call them “Icons.”
Now I know someone reading this will think this is obvious. Of course, physically beautiful people are going to get the most sexual attention. Duh! Someone else will think, “Yes, they look good but they are not that smart.” Yet these physically beautiful and yet intellectually shallow people have the key to solving many of our relationship issues.
At this point a sexually frustrated intellectual reading this blog will say, “I knew Rom was crazy but he’s gone off the deep end. The key to solving relationship issues is to have conferences with certified professionals coming together and hammering out solutions.” No joke I have actually read this in print and have had people say this to me. Let me share a true story.
Years ago I was invited to a relationship conference where most of the participants were Ph.Ds. I was one of the few people there who was not officially certified in some type of relationship work. A professional Dominatrix was there as well. She had an interesting presentation but I digress. What struck me about these certified professionals was that very few of them were in functional relationships. Many struck me as having trouble even connecting with the opposite sex. Well except for this cat I’ll call Professor Goodbar. Watching him work the women at the conference kept me entertained. The takeaway I got from observing these people was that they had good sounding theories but very little real world application.
Now I contrast this with Icons. These beautiful, yet shallow people are never at a loss for companionship. People can call them dumb all they want, but the Icons get what they want out of relationships. Seems pretty smart to me. Take the Bimbo. She may not be able to discuss world events, and you may not be able to take her around a group of intellectual professionals. Yet the Bimbo may have men who will take care of all her material needs. Many women are taking care of the financial needs of boy-toys. Think about it, a person can toil on a thankless job for years making just enough to keep basic bills paid or by keeping up their physical appearance they can have people hand them money and material goods.
Now someone will say, “Well they are still shallow and they can’t talk about anything of substance.” Here’s a newsflash. The average person on the street cannot talk about anything of substance. Most people live second hand lives where at most they can talk about their favorite sports team, their dysfunctional family, and what’s going on with particular celebrities. Most people don’t even vote. Only fifty percent of the population is even registered to vote and out of that it is considered a high turnout if fifty percent of the registered voters bother to vote. Again I digress. I used to be an editor at a website which followed politics. I had a flashback.
So why do I say that Bimbos are geniuses? Let me drop some science, knowledge, mother wit, game, however one wants to frame the information. In past blogs I’ve talked about social faces and sexual faces. The social face being how someone behaves publically. The sexual face being how someone behaves in the bedroom. I also in my books, blogs, and videos talk about physical appearance and sex appeal. The problem with the overwhelming amount of commentators, therapists, dating coaches, seduction gurus, and comedians in fly suits is that they focus on the more intellectual side of relationships. They may say “look your best” but it’s more like a footnote. I can’t think of ANY expert that will spend a whole seminar, video, or book talking about the physical appearance side of attraction.
If someone is an expert or knows of such a person hit me up here. I want to interview you. I’m dead serious.
Here’s the science. There are two subconscious sexual orientations. This is something that goes deeper than gender. I’ve only seen this information discussed in two places. One is a book called Amanmere – The Natural Blueprint for Sexual Relationshipsby Master Yao Nyamekye Morris. Master Yao wrote that all people have two sex drives. One sex drive is the one we are all familiar with, the carnal sex drive. This is being attracted to someone based on pure lust. We are attracted to their face, hair, and body build. The second sex drive is the desire to connect with someone mentally. We are attracted to someone because they have similar interests and compatible personalities. Many men end up in the dreaded friend zone because a woman will have some mental attraction for them but will not be turned on physically.
All people have both drives within them, however, the overwhelming majority of people will express one drive and suppress the other. Very few people are balanced between both drives even if they think they are. People who express the carnal drive but suppress the mental drive are called Sensual Bohemians (Bohemians). People who express the mental drive but suppress the carnal side are called Reverent Intelligentsians (Intelligentsians). To be clear Intelligentsians are not necessarily smarter than Bohemians. Many Bohemians have high standard IQ’s. The key difference is how each group relates to people sexually.
The Bohemian will typically emphasize their physical appearance. They will wear their clothes in such way as to draw sexual attention to them. This is a man wearing a muscle shirt. This is the woman wearing a tight top and jeans showing off her booty. These men and women will typically have gym memberships or will otherwise be very resistant to weight gain. Bohemians have a strong lean towards being materialistic. A key point is that they tend to be very comfortable with their bodies.
The Intelligentsian will typically emphasize their mental capabilities. They will focus more on making a mental connection with people. Most often they will get into relationships with people they have been friends with for a long time because of the mental connection. An Intelligentsian will relate to a person based more on logic than their feelings. Intelligentsians typically wear their clothes in a way to deflect sexual attention away from their bodies. Even if an Intelligentsian female has an hourglass figure she may wear drab colors, and loose clothing which hide her body. The men will wear clothing which may hide the presence of an otherwise muscular physique.
Now there’s the thing I have found in my many years of dealing with different relationship experts. The overwhelming majority of them are Intelligentsian. I can think of one I’ve met who was Bohemian and even what she teaches is more Intelligentsian orientated. The problem with Intelligentsian experts is that they are focused on one side of the equation. What they are bringing to the table is extremely important but there are definite problems. Intelligentsians will talk about things like communication, virtues, and other practical skills needed to SUBSTAIN a relationship. The problem is that people learn these skills and still have trouble getting into a relationship. That’s because they have the skills but they have trouble physically attracting a mate. That’s where the Icons come in.
The Icon does not have any problem attracting a mate. Their problem come from keeping the relationship going long term. Many people have met a person who turned them on sexually and will engage them in a relationship. The issue is that no matter how beautiful and sexy a person is, after dealing with them for a while their flaws will eventually turn someone off. If a person eats their favorite flavor of ice cream every day for a month eventually they will get bored and want something else. Same thing with people. A man can get that hot woman and have steamy sex every day for a few months. He will eventually get bored with her if she doesn’t bring something else to the table.
The point of this blog though is to say that the Bimbos do bring something to the table that is sorely missed from the relationship dialogue. I think about a conversation I had with a lady friend recently. She said she was going to take her son’s fiancé to a strip club so she could learn some tricks to keep the marriage strong. The Bimbo is a Bohemian. She and her male counterparts are very much in touch with their carnal sex drive. People can call them dumb and maybe some areas they are not very smart. The thing is that social intelligence is just as important as academic intelligence. Indeed I have met hundreds of men and women who would trade their degrees and their careers just for someone to love them. The Bimbo has figured out how to at least attract mates.
See there are those rare individuals who have a genetic bone structure which people will deem handsome or beautiful. Most good-looking people had to cultivate their physical beauty. They had to work out to stay in good shape. They had to figure out how to cut their hair and groom themselves for maximum effect. They had to through trial and error figure out which clothes drew the most attention to them. Though they may not be able to discuss world events they figured out how to amp up their sex appeal.
The big problems is that the Icons are shunned in matters outside of sex. In media, and in real life they are considered dumb. They are called sluts, hoes, manwhores, and playas, whatever. As a culture we are stuck on thinking only one group has the answers. We think that someone who has some credentials can tell other people how to have good relationships when they themselves are involuntarily celibate. Yet a high school dropout with a nice booty will have men buying her everything. Many Icons have deep insights into male/female relationships and quite frankly more fulfilling relationships.
If we are serious about dealing with creating better relationships we need to expand the discussion and let the Icons have a voice.