So the star of the show in my books, blogs, and coaching is Mr. Goodbar. Well I write what I know. It’s who I am. Actually women in the past have called me cocky, arrogant, player, bad boy, jerk, and those were the nicer comments. They called me sexy too so for some odd reason the other names didn’t prove to be a hindrance to getting sex. That might have to be the “Being Mr. Goodbar” book I need to get around to publishing. Anyway Mr. Goodbar is in my blood as the men in my family had zero problems getting women. My great-grandfather was a minister that had the women in his congregation swooning. My paternal grandfather was a “whoremonger” as my grandmother called him. He knew a woman’s body better than a doctor. My maternal grandfather was a smooth numbers runner who was a straight Mack. My maternal uncle as a cop looked like Billy Dee Williams with a personality like Alonzo Harris from Training Day. My father is a blue collar man who has women young enough to be my daughter chasing HIM. I have a couple of cousins who got paid by women for sex.
My point though is not to provide my family background. My real point is Mr. Goodbar isn’t one single character type. The men in my family represent different types of Goodbars. My great grandfather was Black upper class while his daughter, my grandmother, married into a numbers running family. She in turn had a son who became a cop. My father’s people were blue collar. My cousins were on that line between working class and Black Elite. All these men came from different places but represented different types of masculine sex appeal. In the manner of role playing games and young adult novels I have identified eight types of Goodbars or as I’ll call them, Goodbar Clans. What follows is a description of each group and their appeal to women. One thing I will point out is that in earlier blogs I talked about Lovermen, Demon Lovers, and Male Freaks. These titles don’t constitute separate groups because they are traits that can be found in men in any of the clans.
One thing to note is that these clans are categorized according to how women are sexually turned on by them. For example a woman will be turned on by men in two of the clans but unmoved by men in the other five clans. There is no hierarchy in how these clans are presented. Think of them as different styles of sexual seduction.
The Lookers are the pretty boys of the Goodbar Clans. These men are extremely handsome. They have been blessed with great facial bone structure, and in many cases pretty eyes. Lookers tend to have average bodies and be of average height. Women really don’t care about a Looker’s body. A few rare Lookers may be a few pounds overweight. Women are too busy staring at the face of a Looker to care about the rest of him. Lookers tend to take care of their face and will always have a fly haircut.
Many women don’t want to be around a man that looks better than they do. These women get turned on by a man with an average face and muscular body. The Bodymen are those cats with the killer physiques. They will have the big chest, broad shoulders, tall, muscular legs, and tight butts. Women say “dat ass” too. Women will want kiss the Lookers but will want to lick the chest and back of the Bodymen. Ask me how I know.
This clan is made up of men who are stylish dressers. These men will have fly glasses or shades. Maybe a nice gold chain. Cotton shirts or polos. Their pants will be pressed and creased. Rest assured their shoes will be shined to the point where you can see your reflection. Even when dressed casually these men will have on crisp jeans or athletic suits. Many women are turned on by a man who knows how to dress.
The Bad Boys are the Clan that catches the most hell. Many non-Goodbars think this group gets the most attention. Not really but they get enough. The Bad Boys tend to be decent looking with decent bodies. A big part of their appeal is their non-conformity. From a physical point of view they don’t look like the mainstream population. Their hair will be longer. They will have more tattoos than the average person. They tend to make money in sometimes illegal ways or if legal outside the normal nine to five. Many may be artists.
The Cool Dudes are the charismatic Clan. They don’t have the looks and the body. They are average dressers and they tend to be more mainstream. They are the men who can click with damn near everybody. Women are rarely turned on by the Cool Dudes at first. A woman may meet a Cool Dude and immediately put him in the friend zone. Then she talks to him for an hour and is ready to take him to a motel. The Cool Dudes know how to connect to a woman emotionally.
The Bangers are not necessarily handsome or have the best looking bodies. They tend to be built solid but not with muscular definition. Many may have a bit of a gut. They are not stylish dressers and are surprisingly conformist. They are very down to earth. The thing about them is that they look like they would fuck the shit out of a woman. The Bangers tend to be the men women go to when they just need to some good dick. Many people think women go to the Bad Boys or Bodymen for straight sex. Naw they go to the Bangers. See the other groups tend to be picky and will limit their sex partners to women who rate as an eight or above. The Bangers will fuck anything female. And they will do it WELL. These men aren’t making love with candles and rose petals. Some women just want straight pounding and the Bangers happily oblige them.
The Thoroughs don’t necessarily turn on women from raw sex appeal in terms of face and body. The Thoroughs turn on women because of how they handle themselves in life. The Thoroughs turn on women because they are confident and aggressive in how they approach life. These men are natural leaders. Most women and men for the matter were built to follow. The Thorough is the man who will always take the lead. He will take charge of a situation without thinking about it. Women will unconsciously submit to a Thorough. Many women are turned on sexually if they submit to a man.
The eighth clan is a recent creation starting in 2007. There is a tiny but slowly growing subculture of primarily Black men who are learning how to bring a woman to orgasm without touching them. They are doing this through energy projection. Check out this video starting at the 4:00 mark. For the most part these men look like Nice Guys. These men don’t have game. As a result of learning energy techniques as well as going through some other regimens women are being sexually aroused by these men by simply being in the same room. I estimate the number of men doing this to be less than 100 right now. In another ten years the numbers may be in the thousands.
So there you have it. If you look at the clans any man can become a Mr. Goodbar. Many men will say that they’re ugly, or short, or broke and thus will not attract women. Other than the Lookers, the Goodbars aren’t the most handsome. Only the Bodymen have killer physiques. The other clans are made up of average looking men. The only thing they all have in common is sex appeal. A man can be ugly, short, and broke and still get sex as long as he is a Cool Dude or Thorough. He can still dress well like a Swag Cat. The Tantra Brothas are mostly nerdy in behavior and physical appearance. Yet many of them have multiple women.
It’s all about self-improvement. Many of the men in the Mr. Goodbar category didn’t start off that way. One Looker showed me pictures of him that were very nerdy. When I met him he was modeling. Every Bodyman had to pick up that first weight. Every Swag Cat had to take years to develop their personal style. Every Bad Boy had to make a decision to be a non-conformist. Every Cool Dude had to talk to that first girl. The Bangers had to have that first sexual experience. Every Thorough had to develop his confidence. The Tantra Brothas had to learn their techniques.
If a man wants to become a member of one of the clans he has to be willing to do the work.