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The Masked Man and His Choices

9/7/2014

10 Comments

 
            The Masked Man is very desired by women.   They see a handsome, successful man who is a great catch.   He doesn’t have the raw sex appeal of Mr. Goodbar but that’s okay.  The woman has had her fun times with the pretty boys, bad boys, and hot boys.   The sex was hot but these men didn’t have anything else to offer.   The woman has a child from the deadbeat with the pretty eyes and smile.   The child is cute and all but also has an appetite.  Many women learn the hard way that that the man who got that good dick doesn’t always translate to a man who’s going to be a good provider or parent.   So the woman’s needs change and I talk about this in my book, Nice Guys and Players:

            Ultimately, what it boils down to is that women choose men according to their needs.  If a woman needs a man who is going to give her attention he is the type of man she will choose.  An insecure woman chooses a man who can make her feel secure.  Women seeking excitement look for men who can provide it.  Nurturing women find men they can nurture.  Women don’t choose men simply because they look good or are confident or aggressive.  They choose men because of some need that has to be satisfied.  Needs dictate desires.  Women will always choose men according to their needs.

Nice Guys and Players Page 52

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            Many women get to the point where they desire the Masked Men because they need someone who can provide resources and also has some level of sex appeal.   Also many women want a man who looks good to their peers.   I’ve always said that a man has to not only appeal to a particular woman but her girlfriends as well.   Yet another future blog.  

            Now there’s an issue with a woman’s desire for a Masked Man.  The issue is that Masked Men in general are not cooperating with the desires of women.   The woman may see a successful man who is a good catch.  She may see a way out of her drab nine to five existence.   She may see a good stepfather to her gang of kids by different bad boys.   She may simply see a genuinely good man.   The Masked Man on the other hand sees a hot mess.

            When Masked Men look at most women they don’t see smart, beautiful, and sexy women who they should be happy to have in their lives.   They see average looking women at best who could stand to lose some weight.   When they see women with a gang of kids they see a person who made some bad choices in men.   Even if the woman is a career woman they see someone who is not in touch with their feminine sex appeal.   Mainly Masked Men will see a woman with a lot of emotional baggage and very, very, very few men want to sign up for that.  

            Now there are many forces in the world that try to SHAME a Masked Man into loving a woman regardless of her issues.   There are memes floating around the internet suggesting that a man, to be a real man, needs to accept a woman regardless of what she brings to the table.   If she is overweight, the real man needs to accept her and find her attractive.  If she has kids by multiple men the real man needs to take responsibility and raise the kids that he didn’t help create.   If she has a bad attitude, the real man needs to accept her moods. I guess a real man needs to accept whatever is thrown his way in order to satisfy the delusions of women who have made some unfortunate choices in life.

            In reality, a real man is going to live by his will and not follow the dictates of people who don’t fuck, finance, or feed him.  

            To understand why a Masked Man will reject many women it’s important to understand the price of success.  Masked Men are in the position they are in because of hard work.   If they are making six and seven figures they had to put in the work.  See in this society we are used to seeing instant millionaires.   A kid coming out of high school can become a millionaire overnight by signing a contract to play a sport.   A kid with a great singing voice can win a competition and become an overnight sensation.   An actor can land a role that makes him a household name.   The thing is we don’t see the work the athlete or the entertainer had to put into their craft in order to be successful.   We see the end result but not the work.  It’s the same thing with the Masked Man.

            People see the handsome face, the muscular body, and the late model car.   The see the man walking with confidence.   What people don’t see is the hours working on grooming.   People weren’t there when the man was spending hours in the gym.   People see the fine clothes, cars, and houses but they don’t see the work the man had to do to get to that point.   This is especially the case if the man made his fortune as an entrepreneur.  

            Here’s the thing.   When men get to point of making six and seven figures they didn’t do so through a regular nine to five job.   A significant portion of Masked Men are entrepreneurs.   The life of an entrepreneur is not easy.   Many very successful men will tell stories of sleeping on air mattresses, or eating maybe one meal a day, of making sacrifices to get where they are.  It’s not an easy life.   Many will struggle for years to make a business work.   Some may give up and find a regular job even though this will slowly kill their spirits.  Many men will make their goals and live their dreams.   Now here’s the thing, when many men make it to the promise land, they don’t have a woman with whom to share their victory.   Let me share a rarely talked about reality.

            Many of these men who become millionaires were not considered Mr. Goodbar by the girls and women growing up.   They didn’t have that raw sex appeal to turn on women.  A few may have been lucky to get attention from women every now and then.  A few may even get married to some woman who quite frankly is still pining for Mr. Goodbar.  They end up getting divorced anyway.    Most entrepreneurs go through their hard years without a supportive woman.   Indeed many women will reject these men because they didn’t have money to spend on dates.   Typically the men didn’t have that thing called Game to offset the lack of sex appeal and money.   The men are going through constant rejection and quite frankly the only thing keeping them going is working on their dreams.

            Now when Masked Men arrives in the promised land of success an interesting thing happens.   All of sudden women find them attractive.  Indeed many women who had rejected the man in the past will approach him talking about how they always thought, “He was cute.”   Of course these women will not be as sexy as they once were and will have a one or two bad ass kids.   The woman will talk about rekindling something that never really was to begin with and the man will look at her like she’s crazy.

            A  Masked Man has done all the heavy lifting at that point.   He is at a point where he can reject women because they are coming at him because his money has turned him into an image of Mr. Goodbar.   At this point the only women the Masked Man will only deal with is the most sexually attractive women.   The reason is that at that point he doesn’t need a woman for anything else.   Think about it.  What can a woman offer a successful man?   He doesn’t need her counsel or support.   He made it without her.   If he wants children he can find a childless woman and doesn’t have to be bothered with a woman who already has kids.   He doesn’t need her money which she likely has from a nine to five job.  Even if she makes a high salary or is an entrepreneur herself he doesn’t need her resources.  He really isn’t going to care about them.

            Understand that Masked Men see most women as not bringing anything substantial to the table.  When men who are either successful or on the path to success get together to talk on social media, message boards, or in person the topic of conversation will often turn to women.   Two primary things will be discussed.   One a particular woman’s level of sex appeal.  Two, and this is very specific to successful men, what the woman brings to the table.   The sex appeal piece is obvious.   The Masked Man wants to know what the woman is adding to his life.   Women may think they have it going on but the man sees something different.   What he sees in many cases is a woman who is asking for a lot and putting a big burden on the man but is not really giving anything in return.   For a Masked Man a woman needs to at least be sexy.   Many women are approaching Masked Men lacking sex appeal.   Then the women have a carload of emotional baggage they are bringing with them.   And they are asking the Masked Man to make everything okay.   The Masked Man has zero incentive to deal with that type of drama.  

            Bottom line the Masked Man has worked hard to be where he is in life.   He had to be a hard worker and smart.   He has earned the right to make the choices he does as far as female companionship.  All the memes and shaming tactics in the world will not change that.   The Masked Man got to where he is by exercising some willpower.   The will is about the ability to make choices in order to enhance one’s own existence.  The Masked Man will make choices that benefit him and not other people who want to latch on to his success.

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My Problem with the Woman Want Thugs Theme

6/29/2014

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            I see things different from most people.   My life experience has given me a different perspective on a great many things.   Something that has happened to me since I was little is that I will make an observation about a person or situation and people would think that I was out of my mind.    Every single time though somebody would come back to me and say, “Rom you were right about that person,” or “that thing played out the way you said it would.”   Now I’ve been wrong about some things but I considered those to be learning experiences.   So how did I get this wisdom?   I’ve had a unique life path.

            I’ve talked about in the Why I Don’t Teach Game blog series that I spent my early childhood in a dysfunctional environment.   That’s only part of the story.   When I was placed in my Grandmother’s custody as a ten year old, we moved into new house in more middle class neighborhood.   Instead of being around mental patients, low level criminals, and sociopathic 8 year-olds, I was now around young professional families with well-behaved children.   Took me awhile to adjust but it gave me a different perspective on life.   Eventually I would attend a prominent all-boys Catholic school where most of my peers came from middle to upper middle class backgrounds.   It further enhanced my perspective on life especially with relationships.

            Going to an all-boy school was good for me in two ways as far as my future relationship life.  First being at an all-boy school meant I could focus on school work without being distracted by the presence of a female.   Many teenage boys don’t do well in school because they are more interested in impressing girls than focusing on their studies.   I learned how to take care of business and not be pressed about girls.   Second, I learned how to be aggressive with girls outside of the school.   If there was a party I was either there or knew about it.   If I met a girl at a party or on the street I had to get her phone number right there on the spot.  I couldn’t watch her for weeks from the back of the classroom.  I didn’t get to watch her in the school cafeteria.   No girls in the school meant I couldn’t hesitate when I met them outside of the school.   My experience at the all-boys school taught me not so much how to overcome fear but how not to have it to begin with.

            So by the time I reached college I had experienced the dysfunctional underclass and the striving for excellence middle class.   After my college and post graduate studies I moved in a world of upper middle class mores and attitudes.   Particularly relevant were the attitudes towards dating and relationships I observed with the many women I encountered both romantically and platonically.   See there is the belief that women want bad boys, thugs, and lowlifes.  When men in particular make these statements they are only going on what they see.  They see women with lowlifes.  They see women with men with bad dispositions and multiple tattoos.   So when someone like me comes by and says the whole “women wanting thugs” thing is blown out of proportion I’m looked at like I’m crazy.   Not crazy though just stating what I have seen.  And I’ve seen some things that would turn the average man’s stomach.

            The main problem with the “women wanting thugs” viewpoint is that some men and surprisingly many women are seeing things from a limited perspective.   Let me use an example from the animal kingdom; ants and a hawk.   Imagine the world of an ant.  His world is in someone’s backyard not extending too far from the ant hill.  The reality of the ant is whatever is in that backyard.   The hawk’s world however extends for several miles.   He not only sees the ant hill in the backyard but the ant hills in several backyards plus other animals including humans and their houses.   The hawk has a better perspective of the world around him.   In human terms many people are ants and a few people are hawks.  I say without conceit that I’m a hawk.  

            Applying it to this notion that women want thugs I know it’s overstated because I have seen and more importantly experienced the big picture.   One of things that is not talked about in a straight –forward manner is class influenced behavior and its effect on male-female relationships.   I mean we’ll call men thugs and women ratchets but I don’t think people think about the overall implications of these terms.   Without turning this blog into a major dissertation I will state that “women wanting thugs” is a primarily underclass mating practice.   I roll my eyes when I see professional men especially complain about women wanting thugs.   The reason I roll my eyes because I question why a gainfully employed professional man would want the type of woman that would find a thug attractive.   So many men are complaining about women wanting thugs that I don’t think they are paying close attention to the actual women.

            The women who tend to find the thugs attractive are usually women from similar underclass backgrounds.   This is even the case when the woman is a college educated professional.   I’ve met plenty of degreed women who were physically beautiful and spoke like they grew up in a privileged environment.   I get them nice and comfortable and their whole demeanor changes.   Their body language and even their speech intonation changes and I find out they came from the underclass and worked their way out.   A lot of women are like that.  Women in general tend to be attracted to the types of men they grew up around.  If they grew up around thugs they will tend to always be attracted to that energy.   Indeed many women from the underclass look for that thug energy in a suit and tie professional.  

            Here’s the thing now.  Most women did not grow up in an underclass environment.   A majority of the women in this culture grew up in a middle class, church going environment.   I emphasize the word “church.”   Other than class affecting relationships, a person’s religious upbringing will influence their mating choices.  That’s a future blog.   My point is that because of her background a woman may not find a thug anything other than physically attractive.   Now I know I talk about the importance of physical attraction but physical attraction is balanced out by social attraction.   Let me explain what I mean by social attraction by using an example.

            A woman named Abby meets a man named Abdul.   Abby is very attracted physically to Abdul and the attraction is mutual.   Abby wants to do nasty things to Abdul’s muscular body.   They talk a few times and Abby decides to move on.  She was turned on by Abdul physically but socially she is turned off to the point that her vagina stops tingling.   See Abby is a socially conservative Christian girl from a solid middle class background who is in law school.  She is a fifth generation college graduate and moves in a world of affluence.   Abdul is from a dysfunctional family that experienced several generations of poverty and he has done prison time.  In jail he converted to Islam and despite that he still has many street mannerisms.   Abby was taught to mate from the neck up while Abdul let’s his dick make relationships decisions.  Physically Abdul and Abby may have been compatible but socially they were very incompatible. 

             By the way though I've stated that I won't teach game I just gave away a major principle that a man can use to get sex from a women.   Hit up my contact form if you can figure out what it is.

            Women in general tend to mate within their social class or higher.  The practice of women mating with a man in a higher social class is called hypergamy.   The average woman is always looking to trade up.   The women who get with thugs, if you really look at them, don’t have the ability to do better.  Even if they are otherwise physically attractive a conversation with them will reveal why a professional man would not want to get with them.   Quiet as it is kept upper middle class successful men are very picky.   Some Joe Schmoe on the street may have sex with whatever woman makes herself available but a successful man making six figures, with a big house, luxury car, and stock portfolio has too much to lose to be indiscriminate with where he sticks his dick.  

            Now one argument that men who complain about women wanting thugs may have is that despite what I just wrote the thugs are not so much getting women but they are getting the most physically attractive women.   Actually they are not.   I say this from personal experience.   As I said I used to move in more affluent circles and still have some connections to those worlds if I need something.   Why I don’t move in those circles anymore have to do with my present philosophical beliefs.  But I digress.  

            When I was younger and going to parties I observed two things: the social class of the party goers and the level of attractiveness.   In the late eighties I used to go to some hotel parties given by some affluent men.   They would give four parties during the year at different luxury hotels.  They never put flyers or any other advertisements and yet their parties were always packed.   You had to know somebody to find out the party locations.   The women at the parties were typically upper middle class professionals who rated as nines and tens.   One party I brought a couple a female friends who were more average in appearance.  My friends didn’t like the party because there were so many “Black Barbie Dolls.”   The women at these parties were drop dead gorgeous with fit bodies and classy attitudes.   These women wouldn’t give a thug the time of day unless he was extremely attractive.  Even then the thug wouldn’t get any further if he opened his mouth and start spouting some ghetto nonsense.  

            My point is that too many men are worried about the actions of women who are not even the top of line.   The women on these social networks with the big juicy booties and multiple tattoos are not top of the line.  Yeah they get a man’s dick hard but trust me most of them will not age well.   Women who deal with too many low-level men never age well and their looks will fade.   On the other hand upper class women tend to maintain their beauty well into 60’s and 70’s, even beyond.  

            Let’s forget about the women for a second.  Too many men use the “women want thugs” thing as an excuse not to improve themselves.   It’s too easy to find a website or social network page where men are complaining about the thugs.   It’s easy to complain.   Thing is the women who go for thugs are going to go for them anyway.   More power to them.   My message to men is to leave them alone.   A man should focus his energy on improving himself, and finding social circles containing beautiful classy women.   I know those booty models are sexy.   I’ve met some middle class women with bodies that will blow away the booty models.   Many of those women are saving their sexy bodies for genuinely good men.   I’ve even known some that prefer so-called corny men.   Stop hating on the thug for getting a ratchet woman.   Build yourself and look for classy women.

           

           

           



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