Is she you? Now I'm old school. Back in the day the fellas and I would be checking out some girls and we would ask each other, "Is she you?" What was meant by this phrase was whether this particular young lady would be a good match for the young man checking her out. A sad reality is that most men are not with a woman who truly compliments their personality, their goals, indeed their very being. To make it simple most men are not with the right woman.
The majority of men who are in relationships or just dating are dealing with women that the men consider, shall we say, less than optimal. These women may have a negative disposition, a boring personality, and in most cases, physically unappealing. The one positive about these types of women is that they are receptive to the man, at least to some extent. Ask yourself, how often have you seen a fairly decent man with some overweight, ugly woman with a bad attitude? The reason you see this constantly is that the woman will at least have sex with the man. The man in this case is simply settling for sex to the point he will put up with the other negatives. The man may feel like he can do no better.
On the other hand there are some men with women who are drop-dead gorgeous with beautiful faces and killer bodies. This is what most men want right? There's still a problem. A beautiful woman is great when you first get one. You're feeling good and men envy you. Then after being with her awhile you start finding out that all that glitters is not gold. You find out that once you get beyond the pretty package, you and this woman have nothing in common. It's kinda like that car that looks good in the showroom but once you take it off the lot you find yourself in the repair shop every other week. The relationship becomes more of a burden than you thought it would be. You hang in there though because she looks so good.
It's very important that a man focuses his energy on finding the right woman. Now I understand that every now and then we might have to make that midnight call. Sometimes that dumpy woman is one who will be available at two in the morning. It is good for the ego to get with the sexy woman every other man is sweating. When we're talking long term or a woman who truly compliments the MAN, fellas have to exercise care in finding the right one.
Now I know some men reading this may think they have to put a facade to get certain women but a man can be who he is and still find the right one. In my books I don't ask that a man shed traits he thinks aren't appealing to women. My books simply ask that you add to the foundation that you have already established. A man must always focus on finding someone who fits with HIS personality and life goals. Trust me, a man can still get a beautiful and complimentary woman this way. I'll use my own experiences as an example.
Now in my player days I practically lived in the gym. So I had the confidence, the looks, the body, and the educational/professional status. I was also a big science fiction fan and comic book geek. Most men would hide their geeky side and show only the confidence, education, and looks. I showed all sides and still got the women. Women would call me up to talk and I would tell them, "Call me back, I'm watching Star Trek." Sometimes I would take a woman to the comic book store with me. The interesting thing I found though was that there are a great many drop-dead gorgeous women who are science fiction fans and comic book geeks too. It was a drop-dead gorgeous woman, who was a 9 on a bad day, who told me to check out The X-Files many years ago.
My point is that I invested time and energy in women who fit the MAN I represented. I never tried to be cool and fit a woman's reality. No man can truly do that. The man either clicks with woman or he doesn't.
So the question all men need to ask themselves, "Is she you?"
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