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Is She You?

9/28/2014

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           Is she you? Now I'm old school. Back in the day the fellas and I would be checking out some girls and we would ask each other, "Is she you?" What was meant by this phrase was whether this particular young lady would be a good match for the young man checking her out. A sad reality is that most men are not with a woman who truly compliments their personality, their goals, indeed their very being. To make it simple most men are not with the right woman.


         The majority of men who are in relationships or just dating are dealing with women that the men consider, shall we say, less than optimal. These women may have a negative disposition, a boring personality, and in most cases, physically unappealing. The one positive about these types of women is that they are receptive to the man, at least to some extent. Ask yourself, how often have you seen a fairly decent man with some overweight, ugly woman with a bad attitude? The reason you see this constantly is that the woman will at least have sex with the man. The man in this case is simply settling for sex to the point he will put up with the other negatives. The man may feel like he can do no better.



         On the other hand there are some men with women who are drop-dead gorgeous with beautiful faces and killer bodies. This is what most men want right? There's still a problem. A beautiful woman is great when you first get one. You're feeling good and men envy you. Then after being with her awhile you start finding out that all that glitters is not gold. You find out that once you get beyond the pretty package, you and this woman have nothing in common. It's kinda like that car that looks good in the showroom but once you take it off the lot you find yourself in the repair shop every other week. The relationship becomes more of a burden than you thought it would be. You hang in there though because she looks so good.



        It's very important that a man focuses his energy on finding the right woman. Now I understand that every now and then we might have to make that midnight call. Sometimes that dumpy woman is one who will be available at two in the morning. It is good for the ego to get with the sexy woman every other man is sweating. When we're talking long term or a woman who truly compliments the MAN, fellas have to exercise care in finding the right one.


        Now I know some men reading this may think they have to put a facade to get certain women but a man can be who he is and still find the right one. In my books I don't ask that a man shed traits he thinks aren't appealing to women. My books simply ask that you add to the foundation that you have already established. A man must always focus on finding someone who fits with HIS personality and life goals. Trust me, a man can still get a beautiful and complimentary woman this way. I'll use my own experiences as an example.
         Now in my player days I practically lived in the gym. So I had the confidence, the looks, the body, and the educational/professional status. I was also a big science fiction fan and comic book geek. Most men would hide their geeky side and show only the confidence, education, and looks. I showed all sides and still got the women. Women would call me up to talk and I would tell them, "Call me back, I'm watching Star Trek." Sometimes I would take a woman to the comic book store with me. The interesting thing I found though was that there are a great many drop-dead gorgeous women who are science fiction fans and comic book geeks too. It was a drop-dead gorgeous woman, who was a 9 on a bad day, who told me to check out The X-Files many years ago.
         My point is that I invested time and energy in women who fit the MAN I represented. I never tried to be cool and fit a woman's reality. No man can truly do that. The man either clicks with woman or he doesn't.
          So the question all men need to ask themselves, "Is she you?"




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September 21st, 2014

9/21/2014

2 Comments

 
2 Comments

September 14th, 2014

9/14/2014

11 Comments

 
11 Comments

The Masked Man and His Choices

9/7/2014

10 Comments

 
            The Masked Man is very desired by women.   They see a handsome, successful man who is a great catch.   He doesn’t have the raw sex appeal of Mr. Goodbar but that’s okay.  The woman has had her fun times with the pretty boys, bad boys, and hot boys.   The sex was hot but these men didn’t have anything else to offer.   The woman has a child from the deadbeat with the pretty eyes and smile.   The child is cute and all but also has an appetite.  Many women learn the hard way that that the man who got that good dick doesn’t always translate to a man who’s going to be a good provider or parent.   So the woman’s needs change and I talk about this in my book, Nice Guys and Players:

            Ultimately, what it boils down to is that women choose men according to their needs.  If a woman needs a man who is going to give her attention he is the type of man she will choose.  An insecure woman chooses a man who can make her feel secure.  Women seeking excitement look for men who can provide it.  Nurturing women find men they can nurture.  Women don’t choose men simply because they look good or are confident or aggressive.  They choose men because of some need that has to be satisfied.  Needs dictate desires.  Women will always choose men according to their needs.

Nice Guys and Players Page 52

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            Many women get to the point where they desire the Masked Men because they need someone who can provide resources and also has some level of sex appeal.   Also many women want a man who looks good to their peers.   I’ve always said that a man has to not only appeal to a particular woman but her girlfriends as well.   Yet another future blog.  

            Now there’s an issue with a woman’s desire for a Masked Man.  The issue is that Masked Men in general are not cooperating with the desires of women.   The woman may see a successful man who is a good catch.  She may see a way out of her drab nine to five existence.   She may see a good stepfather to her gang of kids by different bad boys.   She may simply see a genuinely good man.   The Masked Man on the other hand sees a hot mess.

            When Masked Men look at most women they don’t see smart, beautiful, and sexy women who they should be happy to have in their lives.   They see average looking women at best who could stand to lose some weight.   When they see women with a gang of kids they see a person who made some bad choices in men.   Even if the woman is a career woman they see someone who is not in touch with their feminine sex appeal.   Mainly Masked Men will see a woman with a lot of emotional baggage and very, very, very few men want to sign up for that.  

            Now there are many forces in the world that try to SHAME a Masked Man into loving a woman regardless of her issues.   There are memes floating around the internet suggesting that a man, to be a real man, needs to accept a woman regardless of what she brings to the table.   If she is overweight, the real man needs to accept her and find her attractive.  If she has kids by multiple men the real man needs to take responsibility and raise the kids that he didn’t help create.   If she has a bad attitude, the real man needs to accept her moods. I guess a real man needs to accept whatever is thrown his way in order to satisfy the delusions of women who have made some unfortunate choices in life.

            In reality, a real man is going to live by his will and not follow the dictates of people who don’t fuck, finance, or feed him.  

            To understand why a Masked Man will reject many women it’s important to understand the price of success.  Masked Men are in the position they are in because of hard work.   If they are making six and seven figures they had to put in the work.  See in this society we are used to seeing instant millionaires.   A kid coming out of high school can become a millionaire overnight by signing a contract to play a sport.   A kid with a great singing voice can win a competition and become an overnight sensation.   An actor can land a role that makes him a household name.   The thing is we don’t see the work the athlete or the entertainer had to put into their craft in order to be successful.   We see the end result but not the work.  It’s the same thing with the Masked Man.

            People see the handsome face, the muscular body, and the late model car.   The see the man walking with confidence.   What people don’t see is the hours working on grooming.   People weren’t there when the man was spending hours in the gym.   People see the fine clothes, cars, and houses but they don’t see the work the man had to do to get to that point.   This is especially the case if the man made his fortune as an entrepreneur.  

            Here’s the thing.   When men get to point of making six and seven figures they didn’t do so through a regular nine to five job.   A significant portion of Masked Men are entrepreneurs.   The life of an entrepreneur is not easy.   Many very successful men will tell stories of sleeping on air mattresses, or eating maybe one meal a day, of making sacrifices to get where they are.  It’s not an easy life.   Many will struggle for years to make a business work.   Some may give up and find a regular job even though this will slowly kill their spirits.  Many men will make their goals and live their dreams.   Now here’s the thing, when many men make it to the promise land, they don’t have a woman with whom to share their victory.   Let me share a rarely talked about reality.

            Many of these men who become millionaires were not considered Mr. Goodbar by the girls and women growing up.   They didn’t have that raw sex appeal to turn on women.  A few may have been lucky to get attention from women every now and then.  A few may even get married to some woman who quite frankly is still pining for Mr. Goodbar.  They end up getting divorced anyway.    Most entrepreneurs go through their hard years without a supportive woman.   Indeed many women will reject these men because they didn’t have money to spend on dates.   Typically the men didn’t have that thing called Game to offset the lack of sex appeal and money.   The men are going through constant rejection and quite frankly the only thing keeping them going is working on their dreams.

            Now when Masked Men arrives in the promised land of success an interesting thing happens.   All of sudden women find them attractive.  Indeed many women who had rejected the man in the past will approach him talking about how they always thought, “He was cute.”   Of course these women will not be as sexy as they once were and will have a one or two bad ass kids.   The woman will talk about rekindling something that never really was to begin with and the man will look at her like she’s crazy.

            A  Masked Man has done all the heavy lifting at that point.   He is at a point where he can reject women because they are coming at him because his money has turned him into an image of Mr. Goodbar.   At this point the only women the Masked Man will only deal with is the most sexually attractive women.   The reason is that at that point he doesn’t need a woman for anything else.   Think about it.  What can a woman offer a successful man?   He doesn’t need her counsel or support.   He made it without her.   If he wants children he can find a childless woman and doesn’t have to be bothered with a woman who already has kids.   He doesn’t need her money which she likely has from a nine to five job.  Even if she makes a high salary or is an entrepreneur herself he doesn’t need her resources.  He really isn’t going to care about them.

            Understand that Masked Men see most women as not bringing anything substantial to the table.  When men who are either successful or on the path to success get together to talk on social media, message boards, or in person the topic of conversation will often turn to women.   Two primary things will be discussed.   One a particular woman’s level of sex appeal.  Two, and this is very specific to successful men, what the woman brings to the table.   The sex appeal piece is obvious.   The Masked Man wants to know what the woman is adding to his life.   Women may think they have it going on but the man sees something different.   What he sees in many cases is a woman who is asking for a lot and putting a big burden on the man but is not really giving anything in return.   For a Masked Man a woman needs to at least be sexy.   Many women are approaching Masked Men lacking sex appeal.   Then the women have a carload of emotional baggage they are bringing with them.   And they are asking the Masked Man to make everything okay.   The Masked Man has zero incentive to deal with that type of drama.  

            Bottom line the Masked Man has worked hard to be where he is in life.   He had to be a hard worker and smart.   He has earned the right to make the choices he does as far as female companionship.  All the memes and shaming tactics in the world will not change that.   The Masked Man got to where he is by exercising some willpower.   The will is about the ability to make choices in order to enhance one’s own existence.  The Masked Man will make choices that benefit him and not other people who want to latch on to his success.

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