Back in the nineties, I was vending at an event in a popular DC restaurant and nightclub. While I was there I passed out a survey to many old and young women. The survey required the women to read a statement and then answer a question. The statement described a man who was handsome, muscular, educated, and had money. The question to the women was what they would do with such a man. The older women looked at the question and said things like get to know him and treat him with respect. An interesting thing happened with the younger women. Not a single one answered the question. I saw one of the women just sit down and stare at the survey. I thought about their reactions and searched for reasons why they would respond this way. The search for solutions eventually led to the publication of my book, Nice Guys and Players (NGAP).
The problem is that most men and women think in “either/or” terms with regard to how men are categorized. They think that a man can only be a Nice Guy or a Player but not both. A popular concept in certain male-dominated circles is “Alpha Fux, Beta Bux.” This line of thinking says that women will have their sexual adventures with tall good looking Alpha males but when it comes time to marry they seek Beta males as stable financial providers. This isn’t theory. This something anybody with a little bit of common sense sees happening all the time. How many women have had wild uninhibited sex with pretty boys and jocks when they were young, in some cases having their babies, and then end up with an average looking dude who has a steady job? Some women even marry the Average Joe and still hook up with the Fine Man every now and then. It doesn’t have to be this way. Who says a man can’t be an Alpha who fux and a Beta with bux? A man can be both a Nice Guy AND a Player.
When I was selling my book at expos and other vending events I had the same basic sales pitch. I would say that, “Women like the Nice Guy because he’s supportive emotionally but he doesn’t turn them on sexually. Women like the Player sexually but he has five other women. The ideal man for a woman has the supportive traits of a Nice Guy but can turn on a woman like a Player.” Women and Players got the concept right away. They were my biggest customers. Selling the book to Nice Guys and men who thought they had game was like pulling teeth. I’ve actually got into arguments with Nice Guys to the point I was ready to go to their jaws. These Nice Guys couldn’t conceive that a man could be everything to a woman. It’s very possible though. I don’t write theories. Every single thing I’ve written in my books is something I’ve observed in the real world. I’ll share some examples.
I’ve spent a lot of time in gyms both as a member and as an employee. As such I’ve got to know a lot of men. Also in my former corporate life my social circle consisted primarily of educated professionals with post graduate degrees. I’ve known several men who women described as handsome, these men were muscular, athletic as I played ball with some of them, and were sexually appealing to women. The women these men had as wives, girlfriends, and lovers, were straight Dimes. At the same time these men were high earning attorneys, doctors, and business owners. I knew one dude who could dominate pickup basketball game, then bench press 400 lbs., go visit his beautiful girlfriend, and the next morning prepare for an important court case.
Too many men limit themselves. The key is being holistic. If a man really reads my books without looking for some type of technique to pick up women they will see I give them the keys to the kingdom. Everything comes down to developing both the mind and the body. Most people who read my books see that I emphasize developing the body. What most people don’t see is that I also talk about developing the mind as well. I saw a negative review of NGAP that tried to make fun of me saying that men need to read more books. The reviewer thought he was being slick but really he was an idiot. The point of reading is to introduce ideas to the mind which will develop a person’s thinking. Personally to keep my mind sharp I like reading books which challenged my belief systems. Sometimes my thinking would change on a particular subject, and sometimes my stance would become stronger. The thing is my mind gets the same level of exercise as my body.
I don’t see any reason why a man cannot be a Nice Guy AND a Player. I’ve known men who developed into both. I’ve known men who were good guy, do right types who changed their luck with women simply because they developed muscular bodies and changed their wardrobe. When I used to have a bookstand years ago, men who were straight up, true to the game Thugs would buy out the books I had that dealt with history, religion, and holistic living. These men became even more appealing to women as a result.
In a nutshell, if a man wants not just women but a fulfilling life where he is living his purpose he must strive every day to develop both his mind and his body. He has become both the Alpha who fux and the Beta with bux. He must become both a Nice Guy AND a Player.
The problem is that most men and women think in “either/or” terms with regard to how men are categorized. They think that a man can only be a Nice Guy or a Player but not both. A popular concept in certain male-dominated circles is “Alpha Fux, Beta Bux.” This line of thinking says that women will have their sexual adventures with tall good looking Alpha males but when it comes time to marry they seek Beta males as stable financial providers. This isn’t theory. This something anybody with a little bit of common sense sees happening all the time. How many women have had wild uninhibited sex with pretty boys and jocks when they were young, in some cases having their babies, and then end up with an average looking dude who has a steady job? Some women even marry the Average Joe and still hook up with the Fine Man every now and then. It doesn’t have to be this way. Who says a man can’t be an Alpha who fux and a Beta with bux? A man can be both a Nice Guy AND a Player.
When I was selling my book at expos and other vending events I had the same basic sales pitch. I would say that, “Women like the Nice Guy because he’s supportive emotionally but he doesn’t turn them on sexually. Women like the Player sexually but he has five other women. The ideal man for a woman has the supportive traits of a Nice Guy but can turn on a woman like a Player.” Women and Players got the concept right away. They were my biggest customers. Selling the book to Nice Guys and men who thought they had game was like pulling teeth. I’ve actually got into arguments with Nice Guys to the point I was ready to go to their jaws. These Nice Guys couldn’t conceive that a man could be everything to a woman. It’s very possible though. I don’t write theories. Every single thing I’ve written in my books is something I’ve observed in the real world. I’ll share some examples.
I’ve spent a lot of time in gyms both as a member and as an employee. As such I’ve got to know a lot of men. Also in my former corporate life my social circle consisted primarily of educated professionals with post graduate degrees. I’ve known several men who women described as handsome, these men were muscular, athletic as I played ball with some of them, and were sexually appealing to women. The women these men had as wives, girlfriends, and lovers, were straight Dimes. At the same time these men were high earning attorneys, doctors, and business owners. I knew one dude who could dominate pickup basketball game, then bench press 400 lbs., go visit his beautiful girlfriend, and the next morning prepare for an important court case.
Too many men limit themselves. The key is being holistic. If a man really reads my books without looking for some type of technique to pick up women they will see I give them the keys to the kingdom. Everything comes down to developing both the mind and the body. Most people who read my books see that I emphasize developing the body. What most people don’t see is that I also talk about developing the mind as well. I saw a negative review of NGAP that tried to make fun of me saying that men need to read more books. The reviewer thought he was being slick but really he was an idiot. The point of reading is to introduce ideas to the mind which will develop a person’s thinking. Personally to keep my mind sharp I like reading books which challenged my belief systems. Sometimes my thinking would change on a particular subject, and sometimes my stance would become stronger. The thing is my mind gets the same level of exercise as my body.
I don’t see any reason why a man cannot be a Nice Guy AND a Player. I’ve known men who developed into both. I’ve known men who were good guy, do right types who changed their luck with women simply because they developed muscular bodies and changed their wardrobe. When I used to have a bookstand years ago, men who were straight up, true to the game Thugs would buy out the books I had that dealt with history, religion, and holistic living. These men became even more appealing to women as a result.
In a nutshell, if a man wants not just women but a fulfilling life where he is living his purpose he must strive every day to develop both his mind and his body. He has become both the Alpha who fux and the Beta with bux. He must become both a Nice Guy AND a Player.
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