This is what I see out here as far as sexual dynamics. Women are complaining about a shortage of “good men.” Yet when challenged these women admit to having good men who are interested in them. Some of these women are even married to a good man. The women should really just say that they are looking for a man who deliver what a mentor of mine calls “Romantic Intoxication.”
Romantic Intoxication is the state of euphoria a woman feels when she is “in love.” This euphoria comes from a combination of lust and the hormones women release when they really feel good. Many mistake these feelings for love when it is really no different from a man giving a woman a highly potent drug. Women don’t really love the man but rather the feeling they get from being with the man. If women could get the same euphoric feeling from hugging a pumpkin, we would see books and movies with titles like “Addicted to Pumpkin” and “Fifty Shades of Pumpkin.” Mr. Goodbar’s real secret is that he is skilled at inducing a state of euphoria in women. That’s it. Women place men into different categories according to their ability to romantically intoxicate.
Mr. Goodbar is at the top of pyramid because of his combination of looks, personality, and sex appeal. His greatest skill, however, is that he has a highly developed understanding of women. I devote a couple of chapters to this in my book, Nice Guys and Players, the chapters are called “An Understanding of Women,” and “Sexual Chemistry.” A man can improve his success with women just from reading those chapters. Anyway, Mr. Goodbar is like a piece of chocolate or an ice cream sundae. Women want to indulge as much as possible.
The Masked Man doesn’t deliver the same level of intoxication based on looks and raw sex appeal. Masked Men may look good but because they are successful they tend to be more focused on making their money which means they are more serious minded. Serious minded men are not going to approach a woman whispering sweet nothings and promising a good time. Women tend to be attracted to Masked Men because of their money and stability. Mr. Goodbar may be sexy and all but many are also living in their mother’s basement and men who are caught up in having sex with a lot of women tend not to be as focused on making a lot of money. There are exceptions but many Mr. Goodbars are just sexual playthings for many women. When women want grown men they tend to go for the Masked Men. That’s a whole other set of issues I’ll get into with another blog.
Gamesmen and Nice Guys are non-select because they don’t give women that state of euphoria. That’s why women can be around a man who wants them, adores them, and has real love for them and they will put the men into the dreaded friend zone. Some women may still deal with non-select men for lack of better options but will treat these men poorly. These men usually get dropped or cheated on as soon as Mr. Goodbar returns the text. Yet another blog.
Now I’ve observed that many women have no problem chasing Mr. Goodbar. Some will even argue that they are entitled to having these sexy men. What’s not being talked about how Mr. Goodbar truly views these women. This shit gets deep when you think about it. A woman will cheat on her hardworking, devoted, nice man with Mr. Goodbar and then have the nerve to justify it. Her girlfriends will support her choices. I’ve seen cases where even her husband will support her. Now the woman is all happy. She’s having her multiple orgasms, walking around fully in that state of romantic intoxication. All of sudden, she gets real sad. Mr. Goodbar has moved on to greener, and quite frankly, slimmer pastures. The woman is distraught, maybe on suicide watch as her girlfriends (and sometimes husband) try to console her. Mr. Goodbar on the other hand simply doesn’t give a fuck.
Here’s the reality of Mr. Goodbar. He has so many women chasing him, offering him sex and money, making it easy for him to the point that he can be deal with women on his terms. The most common scenario is that when Mr. Goodbar tires of a woman he dismisses her. Kind of like a maid. If he is relatively nice he may tell her. Most just stop calling or texting. MOST women cannot hold Goodbar’s attention.
One major issue I see in this culture’s sexual dynamics is that most women feel like they are more sexually desirable than they actually are. Women feel like if they are in halfway decent shape, have a decent face, nice clothes, and some material things that they should get the top shelf men. Really their heads have been gassed by Gamesmen and Nice Guys. Mr. Goodbar really sees average looking women as merely physical gratification, a mere notch above masturbation.
Many women for whatever reason don’t get the concept that men can be picky too. I see these TV specials and articles with women talking about how wonderful they are and how come men can’t see this. The irony is that some men do see how wonderful they are but women put these men into the friend zone. Mr. Goodbar has all types of women coming at him. He can afford to be picky. Like any normal heterosexual man he is going to be moved by the woman who can get his dick the hardest. So if he has a choice between the pretty fitness chick with the flat stomach and “dat ass” and the Plain Jane with twenty extra pounds around her stomach who do you think he is going to choose? Keep in mind that beautiful women with great bodies want to feel that euphoria as well as any woman. Indeed they will feel it more because they are in better shape.
Oops I just gave away a great game secret.
Some women know this so when they deal with Goodbar they know they have to make it easier. A Plain Jane knows that she can’t insist on Goodbar taking her on an expensive date because he has zero incentive to do so. She may have to tell him straight up she’ll suck his dick or pay his way on the date. Some may buy Goodbar some clothes or let him drive their cars. Plain Janes are at the mercy of Goodbar. A few may have to allow Goodbar to do things sexually with them that they would slap another man for even thinking about. Even with all of that Goodbar will still come and goes as he pleases. The number of women in arrangements like this is actually quite high.
There are many women who initiate divorce from their good men in order to get with Goodbar. Then they end up getting their hearts broken when Goodbar dogs them out. The lucky ones get to go back to their husbands. The rest get screwed because their husbands have enough self-respect to kick them to the curb.
Women really need to think about their choices. Now some women get mad when a man tells them they need to look at their choices. I say this though. Women don’t have to heed what myself or any other man says. Go ahead and do you. See understand that men have a selection criteria as well. The top thing on that criteria is physical appearance. The second thing is personality. The only thing that might make a man relax his physical requirements is a great personality and that’s usually only the case when the man is more emotionally mature. Even those mature men still like “dat ass.” But I digress.
The reality of Mr. Goodbar is that MOST women will never have a shot at him. He’s a fantasy figure. The only women who have any sort of chance of winning Mr. Goodbar are the most physically attractive women. And that’s usually when Goodbar is older and ready to settle down. See the movies, romance novels, and comedians turned relationship experts got most women thinking they have a chance. Even the women who do get with Mr. Goodbar are likely to have their feelings hurt and will deal with the repercussions for the rest of their lives. A few women may even take their own lives.
Women have to let go of romantic illusions and start facing reality.