Category: Pimp

That Style Game

12/20/2015

  I’m going to start this joint out with a few words from a beautiful woman, Kenya K. Stevens, CEO of Jujumama.com.

            Men are so beautiful. A fine man is like a morsel of well-prepared food – delicious and totally inviting. Men of any race, size and age are even more appealing depending upon personal style choices, and enhancements that make a man just right. A man’s personal style includes his clothing, his scent and choice of shoes, but can also include his vehicle, his walk and his personality. A large element of style is also his physique. Oh baby, you know the ones I mean, the well-groomed personal style, and clean-cut with a body to match! Watch out ladies, I’m heating up as I even speak the words! There is nothing more appealing to a woman than a man with a well-tailored personal style. From the initial point of contact of men with all of these elements in place, we find ourselves completely entranced by his appearance and style and we simply go gaa, gaa, and find ourselves considering ways to get him to notice us and we mean business, right ladies?

            Male style and our attraction to it is actually an ancient ritual. In many ancient cultures, it was the woman who chose the men. Yes, it was the reverse of today’s modern courting style. Ancient women were in the position to choose and men just sat pretty and waited for a woman to make her choice. Men would dress their delicious, cut bodies with markings and jewels and dance the alluring warrior’s dance to attract a suitor in the village of women. This ceremony might happen a few times a year. During the dance and show of men, the women would come forward to choose their men. A chosen man would literally dance more vigorously even after hours of dancing to show his excitement for being chosen. Wow, do we not wish those days were back? Well, in a way this tradition still exists. Women today choose men based, first and foremost, on their sense of personal style. If anyone tries to deny this, they need a reality check.

From Change your Man, pages 193-94
****************************
            There are two major takeaways from this passage other than something I always preach which is women choose the men.   The first takeaway is that at no point did Kenya mention a man’s facial features. This is major because many, many men feel that that they are not handsome enough to attract women.   This is not to say that women don’t like a handsome face but it’s not the only thing. Far from it. Yes looks matter to women but not so much as the face as it is the overall “look.”   When women check out men they are not only looking at his face but his haircut, his grooming, his clothes, and especially his shoes.   A man can probably get a good hug of off a nice pair of shoes alone.   This leads to the second takeaway.   A man may not be able to control his facial bone structure but everything else is within his control.

            ANY man develop his own unique personal style.   First of all any man can develop his body.   He doesn’t even have to be super-muscular.   Some women like slim dudes and many like thick dudes.   Even height isn’t a bar as many women will deal with a short man if his STYLE is appealing.   Women are more visually stimulated than is commonly believed.   Any man can experiment with different haircuts until he sees which one gets attention from the ladies. He can experiment with facial hair.   He can work with different types of clothes until he sees what works.   He can even try different types of colognes.   Women love to smell a man.

            One would think that everything I’m writing is obvious but it’s not.   I’ve lost count of how many times I have seen men looking like bums approach women and then got mad when they were rejected.   Too many men think they can look any type of way and a woman will respond. For example the other day a lady friend told me that a “homeless” man approached her and made her feel uncomfortable because he was coming on very strong sexually.   Now she didn’t know if he was actually homeless but she still made a judgement based on his appearance.   Now her reaction might have been different if he had on a nice tailored suit, fresh haircut, and a nice cologne.   She might have at least gave him her phone number.

            Another example I think of is this guy I knew years ago.   He had definite speech impediment and might have been on the autism spectrum.   He worked as a janitor.   Yet despite having trouble speaking clearly and having a low status job he had little trouble attracting women.   They loved him because he not only was genuinely nice but dude’s style game was off the chains.   His haircut was always fresh.   His designer eye glass frames fit his face perfectly. His clothes were always so crisp you would think he was sleeping with the owner of a dry cleaners. On top of that his shoe game was wicked.   This was his style just to empty trash cans. He took it to another level outside of work.

            It’s funny that so many men try to study Pimps in order to figure out what to do with women.   The same men don’t seem to realize that a MAJOR part of the Pimp game is their personal style.   If a man is turning on a woman visually she becomes very receptive to whatever is coming out of his mouth.

            This doesn’t have to be long one fellas.   Work on that personal style.   It has to be unique to who you are. It’s trial and error to develop one but in the end women will thank you.

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Goodbar Land

5/17/2015

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            I had an interesting day yesterday.   I was out and about doing what I do. I had several conversations with men about what men usually talk about if it is not sports, women.   One young man was telling me how tired he was feeling because his girl wore him out the night before. He was also telling me how jealous she gets because other women check him out and that she always checks his phone.   He also had a lot of insight into the true nature of women.   Now this is a young Black male who society would label as a thug because of his braided hair and rough appearance.   I had a conversation an hour or so later with a muscular white man who had a lot of insight into women.   This dude was a self-described Poon Hound.   Watching his head swivel every time a woman walked past us was entertaining.   As he said, “I like women. All women.”   This the type of cat who would fuck anything female that moves.   He walk by an aquarium the fish would stop swimming. He walk outside the wind stops blowing.   Outside these two, I got texts throughout the day from men who get more women than they know what to do with. It was a Goodbar type of day.   It very refreshing.

            As I’ve written several times I have talked with literally thousands of women. What I don’t say is that I’ve talked with literally thousands of men. Now when men get together the two main topics of conversation will be sports and women.   Indeed a man can go anywhere on the planet and connect with locals talking about sports or women, especially women. I’m convinced a phat ass can bring world peace.   Now most of the conversations are men complaining about their lack of success with women.   I spend a significant amount of time listening to every negative thing possible being said about women.   Even online the majority of men’s social media pages, blogs, videos, and websites are talking negative. This is the case even with sites dedicated to men improving with women.   I referenced a few of these sites in my blog, Different Worlds of Men.    There was one, however, I didn’t reference.   That world was Goodbar Land.

            I have yet to find a website that caters to Mr. Goodbar.   I’ve found some that are arguably close.   In my Different Worlds blog I mention Better Man World and Poly World.   These aren’t Goodbars though. These are Masked Man types.   These are men who had to do a lot of work to become select.   There was another underground site I didn’t mention in that article that I was privy to that catered to real Pimps.   You had to know somebody to get the link for that site. It still wasn’t a Goodbar site.   Contrary to popular belief the Pimps really don’t have as much insight into the female mind as a Goodbar. Pimps are skilled at finding and managing women who are willing to sell their body. Pimps are lousy at dealing with regular or what they call square women.   The image of the pimp is more in public consciousness. Goodbar is something else entirely.

            I have a vivid memory of a seminar I did back in 2001 based on my book, Nice Guys and Players.   It was with a group of young Black professionals.   It was standing room only and a lot of energy.   A fun part of the seminar was people acting out in skits the different character types I had in my books. It was all improv with a man and woman in each skit. They were given a brief description of each character and they went to work.   The Nice Guy and Masked Man skits were good. The Gamesman skit had me on the floor laughing.   Dude had legitimate good game which quite frankly is rare.   He later told me he had seven sisters who taught him a lot. Anyway when they got to the Goodbar skit the man came on to the woman very aggressively and I stopped laughing.   It was all wrong.   I explained the problems of the interpretation and people looked at me as if I had an antenna growing out of my head.

            Let me explain something about Mr. Goodbar.   He is the top of food chain as far as sexual desirability.   He is an Apex predator.   People think Pimps or Macks are the top dogs, the Alpha Males, but it’s really Mr. Goodbar.   The key piece with Goodbar is not that he chases women but rather they chase him.   Women actively try to seduce Mr. Goodbar.   This is an alien concept to most men who are not Goodbars. Women already know even though they don’t talk about it publically and especially not in mixed company.   Goodbars don’t street harass or spend money trying to impress women. Women will street harass and spend money trying to impress Goodbar.   Gigolos and Male Strippers are Goodbars who have gone pro.   I remember this one dude who telling me he had “arrived.”   He felt that since he was starting to get sex with decent women that he was the man.   He found out the hard way that he wasn’t.   He was getting women based on his salary, his home, and his cars.   He had arrived as a Masked Man, the mask being the resources but he wasn’t Goodbar.   A man knows he is Goodbar when women show up to his place with a trench coat on and nothing else.   A man knows he’s Goodbar when he get late night texts talking about, “What you doing?”   If a man has to open his wallet he’s not Goodbar.   Only a small percentage of men have it like that.

            Now many people think that Goodbar is probably a really handsome man that looks like a male model.   Not really.   First of all handsome is a subjective thing. What’s handsome to one woman is ugly to another.   When it comes to dating advice, there is too much emphasis on facial features even when it is said, “Looks don’t matter.”   For people who believe looks matter they feel that as long as a man has a handsome face he will get attention.   I would say I’ve seen this to be the case when a man has an EXTREMELY handsome face.   Otherwise there are standard handsome men who have a lot of trouble with women.   The issue is not their faces.   The key to turning on a woman sexually is not the face.   There are millions of handsome men who are also seen as Nice Guys.   Facially many may be better looking to women than a Goodbar.   These men are also skinny or overweight.   The key ingredient for a Goodbar is not the face but his body.   What separates Mr. Goodbar from other men is his body.   More on that later.

            See a failing with many men in relating to women is that they are too much in their heads.   They are approaching women using logical thinking.   Logical thinking by its very nature is microcosmic. It is left-brained. It sees a small part of the overall picture.   It is thinking based on information. It is limited if the information on a particular subject is limited.   For example, many men base their actions in relating to women on studies and statistics.   One example is the idea that fifty percent of Black women have herpes.   This is according to a Center for Disease Control study.   This study is based on actual test results.   Many men will base their logical thinking on this study when dealing with Black women.   The problem with this type of thinking is obvious to someone using common sense.   In order for the statement that fifty percent of Black women have herpes every single Black woman in the country would have to be tested.   A more accurate statement would be to say that fifty percent of the Black women TESTED for herpes had the disease.   A woman would only get tested for herpes or anything else for the matter only if they showed symptoms.   An analogy would be that a woman wouldn’t get tested for pregnancy unless she showed symptoms.

            My point is that logical thinking is limited as far as relationships are concerned.   It’s good for professions which have well established rules, regulations, and standards.   Dealing with women is another thing entirely.   A man who is too much in his head will see a Goodbar at a bar say something to a women and see her immediately get sexual with him.   So the man in his head thinks, “If I say the same thing I will get the same result.”   Most “game” advice focuses on saying the right things to women.   So the man says the same things as the Goodbar and fails miserably.   Depending on where he is he may get kicked out of the club or even arrested.   What the man using logic didn’t see was that the Goodbar turned on the woman sexually before he even said a word to her.   The woman was turned on by the man’s body.   All the Goodbar had to do was pick up on the woman’s interest which leads to another difference between Goodbar and the rest of the male population.   Mr. Goodbar doesn’t think the same way as other men.

            There are actually four modes of thinking.   Logical thinking is one mode which is linear, left-brained, and microcosmic.   There is also analytical thinking which is abstract, left-brained and microcosmic.   It uses analogy to compare one thing to another in order to come to a conclusion.   There is a mode called synthesis which is holistic, right-brained, and macrocosmic.   Synthesis looks at the big picture and how different parts of the picture fit together.   People who have a lot of common sense are using synthesis. Finally there is integration which is intuitive, right-brained, and macrocosmic.   People who use integration are the type that do things based on “gut feelings.”   They are drawing from their subconscious mind.   They can read a person or situation accurately without any outside information.   Most human innovations came from integration.

            As far as the four categories of men, Nice Guys, Gamesmen, and Masked Men tend to use logical and analytical thinking.   Good for working in many professions and keeping a car running but not so good for dealing with women. Relationships are a right-brain thing.   Men and even women who approach relationships using their left-brain are doomed to failure and at best a passionless coupling based on pragmatic concerns.    Goodbars tend to use synthesis and integration.   One way that I know when a man is a Goodbar or at least has the potential is that he can read women real well.   This isn’t the type of reads that are taught in PUA boot camps which treat all the women the same. A Goodbar reads each woman as an individual and adjusts his actions accordingly. Goodbar is using intuition and also a lot of common sense.   Goodbars know that women are into sex as much, even more than men.   Strangely, many men think women don’t want sex as much as men and are scandalized when women show how sexual they can really get.   Goodbar intuits a woman’s sexual interest.   Using common sense Goodbar realizes that just like men are attracted to a woman’s body, women are attracted to a man’s body.

            Many dating advice professionals will advise men to join a gym and get fit.   The problem is that the men will still approach women while still in their heads.   They still think some magic words or behaviors will turn on a woman sexually.   Here’s a reality. The men who get the most panties thrown at them are not the brightest as group.   I thought so at one time because of a personal bias but if I’m being honest the men who get the most women are not that bright at least not in a left-brain logical way.   There are exceptions like in everything else.   The women are responding to the man’s body.   Just like a man wants to suck those breasts and grab that ass, a woman wants to lick that chest and grab that ass too. Ask me how I know. Women as a group are DRAWN to a certain body type, which tends to be mesomorphic or very close to it. The affect is literally magnetic to women. Men who are not close to that ideal need to be extremely handsome AND tall. For any man not at those ideals women will be a struggle and are doing well to simply get a cooperative girlfriend.   One thing Goodbar doesn’t do is overthink situations with women.   Women really aren’t that deep.

            There is so much I can say.   For anyone trying to get into Goodbar Land hit the gym.   If you’re skinny add some bulk.   If you’re overweight lose some weight.   Even after you do all that learn to think differently.   I know many men want to take workshops and read books on women.   Many men will listen to other clueless men.   Ultimately every man needs to cultivate his intuition and common sense.   Follow those gut feelings.   There has been many beautiful woman I passed over because my gut feeling screamed, “Oh hell no!”   I have no regrets.   I always found out something negative about the woman later on.   Use some common sense.   Dealing with women in a cookie cutter manner is stupid. Each woman no matter how similar she is to other women is still an individual.   You gotta read that woman.   You can’t follow a script.   If you are having trouble with women it’s not the women. It’s you. You need to change your thinking because apparently it’s not working.

            One final thing.   The man who just read this needs to ask himself some basic questions.   Does he want to live in a world where he has to remember lines, spend money, and chase women who may end up friend zoning him?   Does he want to live in a world where women show up to his door wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels?

            Think on this.

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Lying on that D

3/15/2015

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            Something that has cracked me since I was young is dudes who lie about the number of women they’ve had sex with.   As we used to say back in the day, “lying on they dick.”   We’ve all met them. Usually they say something like “I’ve been with so many women I can’t even give you a number.”   Or they give a number that’s in the three figures.   They’ll say they had sex not only with over 100 women but that all the women were very attractive rating from 8 to 10 on the infamous scale.   Yeah…

            Where do I start with this?

            First of all in the world of men, ONE thing that will cause a heterosexual man to respect another man is the ability to pull women.   I remember back in the nineties I was on the street in front of my apartment building. Across the street was a brotha who was dealing with a stalled car.   At the same time a relatively tall Asian woman with a mini skirt and killer legs walked out of the building.   Now me and the Asian woman were having a fling at the time.   So when she walked out we spoke for maybe ten minutes and then she left to take care of business.   The brotha who witnessed the interaction and picked up that there was more going on between me and the young lady, walked across the street, looked at me and then looked at the young lady as she walked away.   The brotha then invited me to a private party.   As the saying goes, “game recognizes game.”   He respected me because he knew I had pulled a fine ass woman.   That’s how it is in the world of men. This is why successful men will go for trophy women.

            Now many men in order to get respect from other men will inflate the number of women they have been with.   Total opposite of women.   For example a woman has had sex with ten men.   If anybody were to ask her she will say she has had sex with five men.   Of course she was in relationships with the five men at the time.    She omits the two one night stands she had.   She neglects to mention the fling she had with a neighbor.   She doesn’t talk about being a side piece for a year to a married man.   Finally, there was the time she had pity sex with the ugly, out of shape loser who was a genuine nice guy.   Of course she only talks about when she was penetrated in her vagina.   Her sexual CONTACT number is in the forties.   She doesn’t count the number of dicks she sucked, or the times she let a man eat her out or suck her titties.

            So while women are under counting, men are over counting.   If a man tells me he’s been with fifty women I always divide that in half.   So we down to twenty-five.   Unlike women most men count every sexual contact.   Out of that twenty-five, the man only penetrated vaginally nine women.   Six of the women only let him perform oral sex on them. Five of them let the man suck their breasts and nothing else.   Four of the women just sucked his dick.   One woman spent the night in his bed half naked and let him feel her up but allowed nothing else.   Of course the typical man is going to inflate his numbers in order to look good to his peers.

            Okay, dudes are going to lie on their dicks.   Overall it’s not major issue if men do so in barbershops or on the street corner.   Men bond on talking some bullshit. It’s part of the game and the average man with street smarts knows this.   The problem I have is when men do so in the context of the Male Dating Advice Industry.   You have dating coaches, bloggers, and seduction gurus who will say they’ve been with hundreds of women in order to get men to buy their products.   They will back up their claims with pictures of them with beautiful women or videos of them kissing women in the streets.   Someone naïve thinks that these men are actually having sex with these women when in reality many of these “experts” are hiring models.

            Here’s the biggest single issue I have with many men saying they’ve been with hundreds of women: They never talk about the problems that come from dealing with multiple women.    I don’t care how Playa, Mack, Pimp, or Pick-Up Artist a man thinks he is, there are going to be issues when dealing with multiple women.    Let me count the ways.

            First of all, you have ordinary looking men with average bodies and modest incomes talking about they have sex with several very attractive women.   That’s some bullshit for one simple reason.   The overwhelming majority of women in ANY culture are not going to be facially beautiful with sexy bodies.   In American society the AVERAGE woman is plain looking, short, and slightly overweight.   Seriously I challenge any man reading this to ask himself the following question, “How often do I see a woman I would rate as at least an Eight?”   Even men who spend most of their time in bars and clubs are not going to see a lot of women that attractive.   Even on college campuses where there are young women in their sexual prime how many of them are extremely attractive? I watch a lot of college basketball and the camera ALWAYS finds the cheerleaders.   Anybody who knows anything about the cheerleading subculture (yes it’s a subculture) knows that the women are chosen based on physical attractiveness even if this is not stated publically.   Watching these cheerleaders on TV if you look at most from the neck up they are not extremely attractive but were probably the best candidates at a particular school.   Models, pin-up girls, and the like make money because they are RARE.   If a man has truly had sex with over a hundred women it is likely only three of them were extremely attractive.   The rest were likely average and slightly overweight.

            Another issue is that when men claim to have high counts it they NEVER seem to have any stories of any major drama.   It’s always a case of meeting a very beautiful woman, running some type of game, and having sex with her that same night.   Then this very beautiful woman just goes her own merry way and the man goes to work on his next drop dead gorgeous conquest.   Bullshit!   First of all if a man has sex with a physically attractive women he will likely want to have sex with her again.   Very beautiful women make the most cold-blooded players think in terms settling down. Especially if she is good in bed and can make a sweet potato pie. That’s the male fantasy right there.   The reality is different.

            Men who have high counts are for the most part messing with average and even ugly women with average shapes. A man is typically not going to catch feelings for an average woman.   Even though the propaganda is that average women are nicer than beautiful ones, that is usually not the case.   Many average women have major issues.   A man dealing with multiple women has to deal with a lot of mental illness.   Women know if they’re dealing with a man who really doesn’t care for them beyond sex.   Yet they will still deal with that man.   Then when the man decides to move on, the women start engaging in obsessive behavior particular if the dick was real good.   These women will show up at a man’s place unannounced, do a drive by at 2 in in the morning, call or text him at all day long.   I’ve known women who have camped out in front of a man’s home. Some men get assaulted. Domestic violence goes both ways.

            So if man says he has had sex with over a hundred women and I feel like challenging him I’m going to ask a few questions.   I will ask about level of attractiveness and mental health issues.   I will also ask how many pregnancy scares has he had.   I will ask how many times he has had to pay for an abortion.   I will ask how many kids he has.   I will ask how many times he has had to get a shot in the butt because he caught an STD.   The more women a man deals the more chances that there are going to be some unintended consequences.

            The thing is that there are men who have been legitimately been with multiple women.   The conversation with them is way different from men who are lying on their dicks.   Let me let y’all in on something.   The back of my book, Nice Guys and Players says the following:

            Are you a nice guys constantly passed over by women? Are you a player who can get every woman except the one you love?

            The men who have supported my book the most have never been Nice Guys. In fact the biggest criticisms of my book has come from the men who need the book the most.   The men who have supported me the most have been the pretty boys, the musclemen, and the Macks.   I’ve had true to the game Pimps give me props.   The reason for that support is that they can truly relate to my perspective.

            Men who have truly been with a large number of women know the problems that come from a high count.   These men are trying to limit their number. Many will even get married in an attempt to control their nature.   Yeah the sex is good, even great in some cases but what comes along with it can be emotionally draining.   See when a man penetrates a women physically she is also penetrating him mentally.   A man is trying to plant his physical seed and a woman is trying to plant her mental seed.   Many men get in trouble because they have sex with a woman with a jacked-up mentality.   They have sex with her a few times and then wonder why their lives start falling apart.   That’s because she is planting negative thoughts in their head.   It’s like what a friend said about an extremely sexy woman we both knew, “She can get a man killed.”   This woman was both sexy and highly intelligent.   She knew how to plant seeds in men’s minds.   A man dealing with multiple women has to be mentally strong because every single woman he deals with is trying to plant her seed in order to fulfill HER agenda.

            There are men paying thousands of dollars to learn how to be players.   It’s not a lifestyle for every man.   It’s telling that the men who are actually living that lifestyle are trying to get out. Some will even go into therapy for sex addiction.   I actually had more than one player wish they could be ordinary men. One even thought about suicide.   When it gets down to it that’s why I feel a little anger when men obviously lie on their dicks.   They try to paint a picture of a great lifestyle but it is an illusion. It’s a drug. The high feels good but when one comes down they feel terrible.

            Ultimately men need to focus on quality and not quantity. The most impressive thing to say to me is not, “I’ve been with over hundred women.”   It impresses me more when a man says I’ve been with five women who helped me to become a success.”

            Now that’s what men need to be saying.

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That Style Game

Video: Five Easy Steps to Attracting a Hot Woman

Video: The Look of a Ladies' Man

Video: Average Looking Men and Very Beautiful Women

Goodbar Land

Lying on that D

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