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Sexual Shadow World

10/26/2014

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            I write a lot of things regarding male/female relationships that either doesn’t make sense to people or seems like I don’t know what I’m talking about.   There’s a reason for that.   The reason is one of perspective.   Most people can only relate to things that match their own worldview.   Indeed most people will only seek out information that validates their perspectives.   If something doesn’t validate their perspective they tend to reject the information.   That’s the reason why despite all of the books, seminars, coaches, and bloggers out there it seems like relationships are getting worse and not better.   Most commentators, including professionals, have only seen a part of the picture and not the whole thing.   There were some incidents many years ago that illustrate my point.

            When I first published my books I did a lot of seminars.   I remember two in particular that stand out because of the contrasts between the participants.   The first seminar was with a group of Black professionals.  The organizers of the seminar had read my book, Nice Guys and Players, and had pulled my character types out for role play among the participants.   They were scary spot on acting out the characters of the Nice Guy, Gamesman, and Masked Man.   When they got to Mr. Goodbar the characterization was off.  By miles.   An interesting thing happened.   When the discussion was focused on the first three types the conversation was lively even heated.   When I talked about Mr. Goodbar the place was quiet.  You could literally hear a pin drop.   The concept of a man who had women walk up and drop their panties was alien to most people of the room.  Well, except for the Goodbar in the corner working his magic on a Buppie with the phat ass booty.  He looked at me, gave me a head nod, and went back to work.   Like most things I’ve encountered in life I placed the moment in a mental file cabinet to pull out and think about later.

            The second incident came a few years later.   I was doing a seminar with some true to the game thugs.   These were men convicted of minor crimes and were only sitting down with me because a Judge didn’t leave them any choice in the matter.   An interesting thing happened.  Usually when I discussed my books and ideas with groups the information would be received with disbelief and at times ridiculed because it went against the belief systems of seminar participants.   At times I thought maybe I was the one who was off.   Then I come across a group of real thugs.   An interesting thing happened.   After a little bit of an introduction to my books these men opened up about their experiences and told me the contents of my books.   Not only did they know about Mr. Goodbar they were Mr. Goodbar.   These men were telling me some things that quite frankly a person would be hard-pressed to find a mention of in any form of media.  

            See here’s the thing.   In a previous blog I talked about men and women having two faces, a social face and a sexual face.   The social face is the one everyone sees.   That’s the face with the business suit, going to the kids’ soccer games, and being good neighbor by keeping the grass cut.   Most relationship advice, most discussions about Alpha and Beta Males, most conversations about what women want focus on the social faces.   The sexual faces are something completely different.   Socially, a person has a professional job, is a good parent, and neighbor.   They even go to church regularly.   Sexually that person is a swinger who routinely has sex with strangers.   The sexual face is how a person behaves in sexual manner.   A major problem in relationship discussions is that the focus is on social faces.   The whole Alpha Male thing for example is based on a social face.   The Alpha Male is supposedly the take charge, center of attention man who gets all the hot women.   This of course is based on the assessment of what such a man is doing socially.   The man holding court in a bar is only dominating socially.   There may be a few women feeling his vibe but trust me they may never go home with him.    Many socially dominant men are weak behind closed doors.   So why do I say this?

            I’m one of those people who has encountered a WHOLE lot of people in life.   I personally have been acquainted with many alternative sex workers.   We’re talking about Dominatrixes, and Tantric Massage workers.   I’ve also known phone sex workers, sugar babies, true gold diggers, escorts, and strippers.    These women have told me a lot about their clients.   We’re not talking losers living in their mom’s basements playing video games all day.   The women I talked to told me about encounters with men who were SOCIALLY Alpha Males.   Straight up, a dude living in his mom’s basement couldn’t afford most of these women.    It’s funny as hell to me that a whole subculture of men focuses on being the Alpha Males they see socially without knowing anything about the sexual faces of these men.    Let me share some things about myself to give the reader an idea about why I say the things I say.  

            In my early twenties I was where many men pay thousands of dollars to get.   This was back in the late eighties and early nineties.   I was at the top of that thing called game.   I had zero anxiety approaching women.   To use the street language of the time, I had a “smooth rap.”  On top of that my fashion and grooming game was A-1.  I also had the status of being of Black man with a degree who was pursuing a post graduate degree.   The only real weakness in my game was my weight.   Though I’m a natural mesomorph, if I don’t work out consistently I would gain weight.   The good thing about me gaining weight is that my body tends to gain evenly and not just in one area such as my stomach.   Even though I had extra weight on I carried it very well.   At most my weight gave me an average physical appearance which I was able to compensate for by having a smooth rap and wicked fashion game, especially with my shoes.  

            With my game at the time I was able to date and have sex with some very attractive and shapely women.   Now I had still had to put in some work to woo the women.   Nobody was sleeping with me on the first date, maybe fourth or fifth date.   Of course there were some rejections.  Also I did hear the words, “Let’s just be friends.”   There were plenty of women in what I call the “Not Sure Zone.”   Women in that zone will have a little sexual attraction for a man but not enough to simply drop her panties.   A man has to work for a woman in that zone.  Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he don’t.   Where I was at the time I thought I was at the top of the game.   I was getting a LOT of play from attractive women primarily in the six to eight range.   Even a few Nines and Tens showed some interest.   Then around 1991 I entered the Sexual Shadow World and had my mind blown.

            I had started running in the spring of 1990 because a Nine didn’t want to have sex with me because of my weight.   I was weighing about 230 and quite frankly getting a little sloppy.   During that summer my weight came down to about 215 and to be honest I didn’t think anything of it.   I was getting pretty much the same play I was getting before from women in the six to eight range.   Then some interesting things happened to take everything to a different level.

            The first was that I was in the application process for a certain prominent federal law enforcement agency.   I had passed the panel interviews and now had to prepare to pass a physical fitness test.   I was required to do a certain number of pushups, sit-ups, and to be able to run 2 miles under 16 minutes.   So instead of jogging I had to start running.   I had to train more intensely.  So starting in the winter of 1990 until the summer of 1991 I dropped even more weight.   I went down to 190 pounds of lean muscle mass.  I passed the test with flying colors.  I was walking around at my optimal physique as the sit-ups had developed my abs and the pushups had developed my arms and chest.   Women started going crazy over my body to the point where I would ROUTINELY get approached on the street.   Even had some young girls yell out their car windows while I was walking on the street.   So I had a body that was attracting women to me.   That was one part of the equation.   The second part came from some unique individuals. 

            In the summer of 1991 I encountered some sex workers.   For legal reasons I can’t get into the particulars but during that summer I learned a lot about the inner sexual nature of women.   It was some things not discussed in public and still isn’t.   On the internet now there are some men who called themselves “Red Pill” because they think they know the sexual nature of women.   They don’t and they’re deluded.   They’ve barely scratched the surface.  They don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.    Even some men who get a lot of sex don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.   But I digress.

            These sex workers gave me a real education.   I already knew a lot from women I had been around as a child but these women took me to a new level.   There were also one older man who gave me some insight.   One of the reasons I don’t hold what is taught as game on the internet in high regard is because of that man.   I’ll call the man James.   James was an older Jamaican who had a scary insight into how people behaved psychologically.   He could look at someone and tell you what’s going on with them.   He would mess with people’s heads just to pass the time.   He was especially adept at fucking or as he said “getting some punanny.”   He was talking about setting up a 900 line which was popular back then to tell men how to bring a woman to orgasm.   He was actually the first man I had met who was talking about satisfying women sexually.  Most men fail because they don’t look like they can or even care about getting a woman to orgasm.  

            The combination of the sex workers and James took me into the Sexual Shadow World.   In that world Mr. Goodbar is the Alpha Male.   Yet in the social world the same man may be a minimum wage worker or shy in a crowd.    In the Sexual Shadow World the men at the top of the pyramid are not the tall good looking men with status or game.   Physical appearance is important, indeed of supreme importance but not in the classic way that is important in the social world.   First of all a man’s face doesn’t matter as much.   In the Sexual Shadow World a good looking face is a bonus but not a necessity.   If one takes an honest look at the SEXUALLY attractive people they are rarely very physically attractive in the face.   There are exceptions but in general SEXUALLY attractive people have average faces.   Don’t believe me?  Take a real good look at the men and women who turn on people sexually.   All they have in common are great bodies.   Many are buttafaces.   A good looking face is more important for in the social world.   When it comes down to sex, a man just needs a hot body, a decent size dick, and some fair sexual skills.  

            In this case physical appearance is more about the body, the print, and how the man moves which gives the woman a clue about how he would be in bed.   See most of what’s in the media is focused on what women want socially.   The key to a woman is what type of man she lusts for.   A woman may publically say she wants a man who’s tall, with a good looking face, with status and a decent body.    Many women when presented with what they say they want may still reject the man.   The reason is that they don’t lust the man.  Indeed when many women say they love a man they are really saying they lust him.   Socially a woman may want that classic good looking man who seems dominant.   Sexually she wants that rough looking man with hard body and big dick who would pound her pussy like it stole something. 

            A key component to the Nice Guys and Players Philosophy is to be a man who can satisfy a woman’s social needs AND her sexual needs.   Despite the talk about there being a shortage of men many women who are even reasonably attractive have two men in their lives.   The first man is the socially acceptable boyfriend or husband.   The first man takes her out, spends money on her, and provides emotional support.   He is acceptable to her friends and family.  In many cases he is considered an Alpha Male.   The second man is one nobody knows about.   His only purpose is to satisfy her lust.   He might not be classically handsome, he may be broke, and truth be told not even have what is commonly considered game.   He can fuck though. Well.

            Now I’m not talking about theory here.   During the period I lived in the Sexual Shadow World I would say the OVERWELMING majority of women I dealt with had boyfriends.   As far as I know I didn’t mess with any women with husbands.  I say as far as I know because women lie more than men.  I did know some men who didn’t have a problem with fucking another man’s wife.  I seriously consider women hypocrites when they talk about cheating men.   When women are in lust they don’t give a fuck.  A woman will fuck her best friend and sister’s husbands in a threesome if she lusts them.   They will find a rationalization to satisfy their lust.   It wasn’t certain trashy women either cheating either.  It was something that crossed class lines and even subculture.   I’ve dealt with church girls, nerd girls, and princesses who cheated on their men.  Those goody-goody girls can be the worse.  The Sexual Shadow World is where that perfect Ten will do the freaky-freaky while tied up.  

            Here’s the thing.   Many men reject what I tell them because it goes against CONVENTIONAL wisdom.   There are men out there who think if they just get some plastic surgery all of a sudden they’ll get hot woman.   There are men who think if they behave in a dominant manner the women will drop their panties.   There are men learning game in their attempts to get hot women or any women.   The only thing a man needs to do is develop himself to the point where a woman will LOOK at him and say to herself, “he can get it.”   At the point the man needs to be present enough to pick up on her SEXUAL desire.  He then needs to be smart enough not to say something stupid and give what one beautiful woman once said, “Instant dryness.”

            The only game is lust.   If a man wants more and better women he needs to develop his overall physical appearance so that it generates lust.   The man also has KNOW that women want sex as much as men.  Indeed the truth is the more sexually attractive a woman is the more they will choose a man based on pure lust.  

            I just gave y’all some raw game.  I wonder who will pick up on it.   Hit up me here.

            Peace!

 

 

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Why I Don't Teach Game Part 2: Demon Lovers

6/16/2014

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            Most people who want to learn that thing called “game” are motivated by desires for sex and love.   They realize that they are not the most physically attractive person so they want to learn any method they can to improve their sexual value.  I get that.  Whole industries have developed to help them with that.   For men an example is the seduction industry with books, videos, and seminars.   Quite as its kept women have their own things as well.  Most women’s magazines have articles on methods to deal with men.  Also you have the cosmetics industry to make a woman look more beautiful than she actually is as well as intimate apparel to make their bodies look tighter.   Also high heel shoes serve no real functional purpose yet women wear them to make their legs and butt look more sexually appealing.   Now that’s game.   Most of the men who attend seminars and the women who shop at lingerie stores are essentially good people who really want love.   In general they don’t have negative intentions towards the opposite sex.    That’s not the case with Demon Lovers.

            There are men and women in our society who are…different from everyone else.  Their thinking and outlooks on life are different.   These…people are predators plain and simple.   They are like serial killers in a way.  Instead of killing people they kill a person’s spirit.  They do so through sexual relationships.   They are the Demon Lovers.   The vampire myths probably arose from people dealing with these entities in ancient cultures.    In his book, The Natural Blueprint for Relationships (Natural Blueprint) Yao Nyamekye Morris devotes a whole chapter to Demon Lovers.  He refers to them as “fiends of the sexual underworld.”   He had this to say:

             The fiends of the sexual underworld do not necessarily look like the demons we see in comic books.  It is just the opposite.  Most often, they are men and women who are above average in the looks department.  Many of them look trustworthy and innocent on the surface.  They have one thing in common.  He or she is skilled at saying the things you want to hear.  They may not have a degree in psychology but they are very perceptive in sizing someone up.  They have trouble relating to the opposite sex in normal ways, so they compensate by exploiting weaknesses and unfulfilled desires.  The men know that most men are not as romantic and sensitive as the typical woman would like.  So they learn how to be better at that than the average male.  They listen for clues and act on them.  These men are very willing to take risks and do what is socially unacceptable if it will please a woman because they have nothing to lose.  They are not emotionally invested in the outcome of the relationship.  They don’t care about you or what you think about them.  But they make you think they care very much.

             The female demon lovers know that most black men do not feel appreciated and respected by the black woman.  And the first thing they do is show him how much they respect and appreciate what he is about.  They normally dress in a provocative manner and make it clear that fulfilling the man’s sexual desires is a high priority for them.  They listen for clues about what the man likes and then are quick to act on them.  Those women are very willing to take risks and do what is socially unacceptable if it will please her man.  They are not emotionally invested in the outcome of the relationship.  They don’t care about you or what you think about them.  But they make you think they care very much.

              The Natural Blueprint for Relationships P. 251.

*************

               Even though Natural Blueprint was written for an African American audience, the part about Demon Lovers can be applied to any race or culture.   I’ve met a few white Demon Lovers.  

               So what does this have to do with game and why I don’t teach it?  For one thing Demon Lovers are the top of the pyramid as far as “game.”  You’re talking the ultimate manipulators.  Even Pimps have nothing on Demon Lovers. What dating coaches and seduction gurus teach is a pathetic joke next to what a Demon Lover can do.   You’re talking about people that will consciously destroy a person’s life for no other reason than their own amusement.   There are the men playing mind games with women for no other reason than to pass the time.   You have women are stealing another woman’s loving husband for no other reason than that she can.   Those are the “nicer” Demon Lovers.   Some Demon Lovers are literally weapons of mass destruction.  I’m not exaggerating.  

               Every now and then there is a story in the media about a person intentionally infecting a large number of people with a sexually transmitted disease such as HIV.   Think about it, a single man or woman has unprotected sex with several hundred people and infects them with HIV.   Those men and women go out and get into relationships or have sexual encounters, thus spreading HIV to several thousand more people.   Many will die or at the very least get very sick and may get financially ruined paying medical expenses.   That’s a weapon of war right there.   A single Demon Lover can literally destroy whole communities.

              Stop and think about it.

              Now what is my connection to Demon Lovers?  Remember in part 1 of this blog series I said I spent a part of my childhood in a dysfunctional environment.  It wasn’t just my home but pretty much a mile radius around my house.  There were folks around there who made the characters on The Wire look like the law-abiding citizens.   My mother’s “friends” were one thing.  My own were another.   So I’m hanging around other kids my age and to say they were “interesting” is an understatement.  There was one friend I’ll call Zeke.  Zeke had the pretty boy thing going as well as being a true thug.   The little girls loved him enough to engage in an eight year-old’s approximation of sex.   Zeke kept me on my toes because he would manipulate anyone around him without remorse.   He was fairly sociopathic.  Last I heard about Zeke he was serving time for premeditated murder.  Another kid I’ll call Bo used to suck older boy’s dicks but chased little girls as well.  Bo had a big crush on my sister.   He probably grew up to be a DL brotha.   Another kid I’ll call Dan was just nasty.  Every conversation with him involved sex.   He probably grew up to be pimp or a porn actor.   As far as myself, I’ll put it like this, my street name was “Romeo.”   At my house, some of my mother’s WOMAN friends did things like walk around in their underwear and at least one always wanted to “hug” me.  That’s all I care to say about that.   My point is that looking back I was exposed to Demon Lovers at a very young age.   

          I also took on many of their traits.

          When people used to ask me to teach them how to be a dog they didn’t do so because I was some smooth player who brought a smile to woman’s faces and could be a fun date.   I was a straight up dog.   Love them and leave them wasn’t a tactic for me.  It was just how I rolled.   It didn’t bother my conscience at all because MOST of these women had boyfriends or at least good guys who were interested in them.   I wasn’t going to get emotionally invested in a woman cheating on a man who obviously loved her.   If the woman got her heart broken because I didn’t return her phone call so be it.  She had a man, cry on his shoulders.   Quite frankly I roll my eyes when women complain about men cheating.   Women do it more and are way better at it.  See a woman will cheat within the rhythm of her daily activities.   There’s a certain period of time when her man thinks she’s doing one thing when she may be with someone in a hotel room.    A woman can send her man off to work, invite her 16 year-old neighbor over to the house, suck the young boy’s dick, and then have her husband’s dinner on the table when he gets home.  She may even have sex with her husband that night.   The man is oblivious to his wife’s cheating because she’s submissive, she cooks, and gives him regular sex.   He thinks he’s running things.   Yeah right.

           As far as myself I was like Blade.  I had all the Demon Lover powers but none of their weaknesses.  I wasn’t the villain of the story.  More like the morally ambiguous anti-hero of the story.   Another unique aspect of my childhood was that I used to read the Bible a lot.  Could have been a child preacher. My mother before her nervous breakdown used to open our home to some of the local kids to teach them the Bible.  That’s how I made some of my first friends.   My mother’s spiritual nature was  unique in itself.  She read the Bible but she also read New Thought material such as Norman Vincent Peale and Rev. Ike.   Many things people are talking about now she was talking about then.   She even got money for praying for people.   My home environment was sexualized and spiritual at the same time.   Plus if someone actually reads the Bible there were some players up in there.   King David set up his boy to get killed just to get at his wife.  King Solomon (whom my mother compared me to) had 700 wives.  Shoot, getting with multiple women was sanctioned by God as far as I was concerned.  I say all that to say I had some type of moral compass to keep from going totally to the dark side.   Don’t get it twisted though there were times that had nothing to do with women where I did cross the line.   Y’all might not hear those stories.

          Now the average Demon Lover grew up in an environment where there wasn’t any type of moral compass.   See, religion is more than just a way to worship a person’s vision of God.   In this culture religion is a behavior control system.   Specifically most religions serve to control a person’s sexual nature.   If you pay attention to very religious people, particularly women in Protestant churches, you will notice that they typically dress in a way which deflects attention away from their bodies.  When a man looks at them his first thought isn’t going to be, “I want to bang her.”   Her clothing and body language will not arouse him even if she is otherwise beautiful with a voluptuous body.   If the same woman was wearing a short dress and heels he would likely get a massive hard-on.   Now you raise a child in a non-religious environment with few other restrictions, they will not do anything to limit their natural sex appeal.  Indeed they will dress in a way to magnify their body.  Girls from dysfunctional homes typically dress in sexually provocative clothing even in instances where more conservative clothing would be appropriate.

          So you have a child in a dysfunctional environment who isn’t taught to suppress their sexual nature.   Let’s add some more ingredients to this mix.   You have a kid who has very good physical genetics.   The boys will grow up to have a tall muscular body while the girls will grow up to have a shapely body with optimal contrasts between the breasts, waist, and hips.   Add to this above average facial features.   On these factors alone the kids will grow to attract multiple mates.   There’s still more to add to the mix.   A Demon Lover has above average, even genius level social intelligence.  Most IQ tests only test a person’s linguistic and mathematic ability.   It’s hard to test a person’s social genius or street smarts.   Indeed if there were such a test the Demon Lover would purposely underperform on it.  Demon Lovers really aren’t normal.  Yet they will make an effort to appear normal.   Looking normal is how Demon Lovers get over.

        When people think of players, there’s an image of men in flashy clothes, with tattoos and loud talking being the center of attention.  With women it’s the image of someone wearing sexually provocative clothing.  Demon Lovers are smart enough to look clean cut and innocent.   A male Demon Lover is likely to look like he is a church going nerd if it works for him.  A female Demon Lover may look like a “goody goody girl” if it works for her.   I had an acquaintance who was bragging about his new girlfriend.   She was just perfect for him in his eyes.  I met her and I knew something was up.  She was very beautiful and very innocent looking.  I caught something in her eyes though for a brief second.   I started to take the acquaintance to the side but he was so enamored with her he wouldn’t have received what I said.  A few months I saw him again and found she stole money and personal items from him.  Nothing is safe with a Demon Lover.  Many a bank account has been emptied behind one.

         One thing sometimes people will see a Demon Lover in action and not know what they’re seeing.  Men will see a bunch of women hovering around a Demon Lover and foolishly try to emulate what they see.   They think they can be a jerk and insult a woman and she will sleep with him.   Really it’s not the behavior itself that’s turning on a woman.   The woman is tolerating the behavior because the man is fulfilling some other need the woman has.  One major need is sex.  Women want to sleep with a sexy man period.   Also the Demon Lover picked up on the psychological need which he at least pretends to fill.   Notice I said pretends.   The Demon Lover exploits the needs for his own ends, which could be money or simply a place to stay.  He might just want some ass and nothing else.   He might want the challenge of turning out a church girl.   A female Demon Lover may want to change her living situation.   A sexy woman can change her social class and financial situation by simply pussy whipping a rich man.   Many men can make money but lack common sense.   A female Demon Lover will stroke his dick and his ego and all of sudden she has a nice home and money.

          This is serious stuff.  Many men out here want to learn game because they think with game they can go from a man who doesn’t get the time of day to becoming a player.  Seriously if a man isn’t getting attention from women he has bigger problems he needs to deal with.  Learning some dubious techniques won’t help him.  The knowledge I have is dangerous.   Say hypothetically I give the knowledge to a bitter man.   That man isn’t going to go out and get into a functional relationship.   He’s not going to be loving towards women.   He’s going out for revenge.  He’s going to take out all those years of frustration on some women who did nothing to him.   Many women now are catching hell now from men who didn’t get sex regularly when they were young.   Let me share something with you.  All Demon Lovers don’t come from dysfunctional backgrounds.   There are a few men and women who develop the traits later in life.  Let me use an example.

            You have a man named Fred.   Fred grew up in a home with both parents in a middle class neighborhood.  Now Fred is slim and nerdy.  He was never the type who went to parties or played sports.  The girls in high school and college weren’t checking for him.   He gets a good career out of college and gradually makes enough money to get a house and late model car.   He has everything except the girl.  So he starts checking out seduction material.   He improves a little bit because he is given rudimentary game.  He’s instructed to approach several women a day and he has brief sexual encounters with a few women who are quite frankly unattractive and easy.   Fred is still frustrated until he runs into Dexter Goodbar and his cousins, Jimmy Cool and Damon Lover.  He sees them in action at a club and offers them money to teach him.  Dexter and Jimmy decline.  Damon though agrees to teach him.   Damon blows Fred’s mind.  Damon tells him some things that he can’t hear in a seduction seminar or find on the internet.  Over the period of a year Fred is transformed but not in a good way.   Fred is able to get better women but because he learned from a Demon Lover he starts dogging them.  See the thing that Fred didn’t deal with was his bitterness.   Fred made it his mission in life to dog as many women as possible because of numerous past rejections.  Fred the Nice Guy closed his eyes, Fred the Demon Lover opened them.

          There’s too many Fred’s out there.   Too many men who allowed their spirits to be consumed by bitterness.  When many men asked me to teach them how to be dogs they didn’t have good intentions.   These men would have been dangerous to women and I couldn’t be responsible for any damage caused.  Now this is not to say that I won’t give insights.  I mentioned “Roger” in the “Do The Work” blog.   I tell him whatever he wants to know.  Why?  He has a genuine love for women.   A love he likes to share with several women at the same time but still a love.   I’ll never put what I know in a book.   The knowledge I give in my books will increase the number of women a man can attract.   It requires work though in such a way that will enable a man to deal with his bitterness and other issues preventing him from attracting women.   Until a man deals with his personal demons he can’t be allowed access to the deeper knowledge.

          I’m going to do a part 3 to this series.   I’m going to talk about how man can attract women without using game.

 

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