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Big Rom Replay: That Cool Dude

8/6/2016

The following blog was originally published on June 8, 2014.

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There are different types of players out there.  Different groups of men use different methods to effectively attract and seduce women.   The most obvious ones use looks and status.    You have the Dexter Goodbars of the world who use raw sex appeal to get women.  That never fails.  Works a little too well.  Ask me how I know.   Then you have the Eric Money’s of the world.  Oh wait I haven’t told you about Eric Money have I?   Eric Money is that successful cat who had to work his way to the top.  He wasn’t born with good genetics like Dexter.  Eric had to work hard to keep his body tight and his grooming on point.   Eric had to develop the confidence that comes from a man succeeding in life.   He also needs to have that status with the professional career (doctor, lawyer, accountant) with a big house/condo in an exclusive neighborhood with the latest model luxury car.   Eric can turn on women enough sexually and can take care of her material needs.  Eric Money is the man women want for the long term.  I’m going have Eric do a guest blog soon.

          Then you got Larry Gamer.   Larry gets the least amount of play from women even though he thinks he gets the most.  After all he has attended numerous seminars on how to pick up women, and he reads all the books.   On top of that he is on several websites and social media pages soaking up game.   Larry isn’t a pretty boy like Dexter and can’t afford one thousand dollar tailored suits like Eric.   Larry just got his game.  So he goes and hits on every reasonably attractive woman he sees, young and old for a couple of weeks until he runs into Jane Basic who is inexperienced with men but still isn’t inclined to give up the goodies to anybody other than Dexter or Eric.   Larry’s decent enough though so she lets him slob her down and suck her breasts.  Of course Larry gets on a player website and makes it seem like Jane fucked him like a porn star.

         Of course, I don’t have to say too much about Charlie Nice.  He could give a guided tour of the friend zone.   Being nice is Charlie’s game though.  He believes what women say publically and in the media about what they want in a man.   Now many men think these women are lying publically.  They’re not.  The message is just not meant for the Larry Gamers and the Charlie Nices of the world.   When women say they want “nice guys” they want Dexter and Eric to give them some attention.  Dexter’s too busy looking at the tattoos on a woman’s back and Eric is taking another vacation in Brazil.

          See there’s another cat out there I haven’t talk about.   There’s some outliers in the male population.   One of them is Jimmy Cool.   See Jimmy ain’t fine like Dexter.   He ain’t bone ugly either.  He alright.  A woman will hold his hand walking down the street and introduce him to Big Mama.   He doesn’t have Eric’s status and money.   He keeps a steady job though.   He can keep his rent and car note paid.   He doesn’t run game like Larry.  Jimmy got better things to do than chase women who don’t want him all day.   Jimmy has never really seen the inside of the friend zone like Charlie.  If a woman is his friend, she’s his friend.   There’s no ulterior motive on Jimmy’s part.  Once Jimmy sees a woman as a friend she becomes like a sister to him and he doesn’t have any sexual desire for her.   At the same time even if a woman doesn’t see him as a romantic partner she never friend zones him because by Jimmy’s nature the potential is always there for more.  So what’s Jimmy’s secret? He’s just a cool ass dude.

         Let me be raw about it.  Too many of you bamas out here are too pressed for pussy.  Men are stressing the hell out of women.   Seriously, nothing gets on a woman’s nerves more than a man who’s in her face and she doesn’t want him.   Now most women will try to be polite about it and let the man know in different ways that she isn’t interested.   Some men think they are doing something by being persistent anyway.  Usually the Larry Gamer types.  See Jimmy is Dexter’s cousin.   He knows that when a woman chooses a man she will find a way to let him know.   So Jimmy sits backs and do what he do.   If she chooses he decides whether he wants to choose her back and they go from there.

         That’s the thing about a woman’s choice, a man can try to influence it by hitting the gym, making some money, or running some game.  Ultimately though it’s the woman choice though.   A man can’t control the woman but he can control himself.   A cool dude isn’t going to stress because a woman isn’t sexually interested in him.   That's life.  A cool dude knows that every woman isn’t going to want him.  He just moves on.  If the woman is good peoples he may allow a friendship to develop.  If not, whatever.   They go live their lives.

          Being cool is not about wearing the latest fashions, and knowing the latest slang.  Being cool is simply about at peace with a particular situation.  Being cool is about being calm within yourself.  A wise person knows not to take anything personally.  In martial traditions, the warrior is taught how to stay calm in the midst of battle.  By staying calm he can gain victory.   It’s the same thing with men pursuing women.   Too many men get upset when a woman rejects them and go through all sorts of emotional turmoil.   The cool dude is like whatever.

          Let me school you for a second about rejection.  Rejection is a beautiful thing.   A woman will tell a man where he stands as a man right away.  The smart man learns from rejection.   Personally I have grown more from women who have rejected me than women who have cooperated with me.   When a woman rejects a man she is telling her truth.  The man may not agree with it but it’s her truth.   She is a mirror showing him who he is and what he needs to work on.   I mentioned in a previous blog that a woman rejected me for sex because of my weight.   Now what if she had sex with me anyway which women will sometimes do even if they are not attracted to the man?   I wouldn’t have thought about losing the weight, I wouldn’t have attracted the very sexy women I would later get,  I wouldn’t have my sons bothering me right now about getting on the computer while I’m typing this, and I wouldn’t have the impact I’ve had on people’s lives with my books.   I accomplished a lot because I was cool with a rejection.

        On another tip Women are simply attracted to cool men.  The average woman has a lot of emotional turmoil.   Very often they will gravitate towards that man who radiates a cool, calm energy.  That man they can just “chill” with.   Now say a man doesn’t have looks, money, or game.  By cultivating that cool vibe he can draw women to him like a magnet.  Say you have a woman, Vanessa Brickhouse.  She has a beautiful face, and that thick/slim type of body where she is at that middle point between fat and slim.   She can’t walk down the street in peace.  She can’t even relax at a family gathering because Uncle Junior is always trying to feel her up.   Vanessa don’t have too many female friends.  Women don’t want the competition and some of her attached friends don’t want her around their boyfriends/husbands.   She spends a lot of time by herself.   So Vanessa’s in a grocery store wearing sweats and a baseball cap when she notices Jimmy Cool going through the kale greens.   Jimmy glances her way and goes back to picking out greens for his Grandmother.  He then leaves the section.   Vanessa sees him in a couple of sections and he still ignores her.

          Finally, she sees him in the ice cream section and she acts like she’s looking for the same thing.  They strike up a conversation.   Vanessa notes that Jimmy isn’t coming on strong to her, he’s calm and controlled.   She does feel sexual heat from him because she sees his print. No heterosexual man is THAT damn cool. Vanessa even in sweats got a phat ass. Despite that Jimmy is very respectful by keeping his eyes on her face.   They talk, they vibe, and they decide to meet at a coffee shop later.   Later at the coffee shop they vibe so much that they decide to continue the conversation at her place.  From the living room they make it to the bedroom.

           Now what did Jimmy do?  By being cool he allowed Vanessa to get comfortable in his presence.  The average woman is defensive and unable to relax with men.  That’s because the average man is trying so hard to get in a woman’s panties that she can’t let down her guard.  In order to truly sexually arouse a woman a man has to let her be free in his presence.   In this society we force women to wear masks to cover their sexual faces.   The man has to be cool and calm to the point where a woman feels safe in taking off her mask.   A man has to not only be cool within himself but cool with a woman’s sexual nature.   Most men are judgmental.   They want a woman who can fuck them like a porn star but then call her a slut when she actually does so.   That’s not cool.  Let me tell you something about me.  I know what I know about women because I don’t judge them sexually.   Women will tell me everything once they see how cool I am.   There are a bunch of cats out here who call themselves “Red Pill” who think they know the real deal with women.   They don’t.   They see PARTS of the reality but not the big picture.   The big picture would cause a lot of men to commit suicide.  The shit is cold-blooded when you really see it.   That’s all I say about that.

           Anyway if you a man and you know you’re not 6’2” with pretty eyes and an eight pack.  You don’t have that six figure job and loft condo in an exclusive neighborhood.   You don’t have tactics and techniques which may give you a fighting chance.   That’s okay.  Learn to be cool with women.   You might not ignite that instant spark but sometimes that slow building fire is just as good, even better.

           Alright y’all be cool.

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Podcast: All About Evolution

7/30/2016

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Visit Rom Wills - Raw

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Focus On Your Own Game

5/22/2016

3 Comments

Big Rom Replay: Sexual Shadow World

12/13/2015

8 Comments

The following blog was originally published on October  26, 2014.

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  I write a lot of things regarding male/female relationships that either doesn’t make sense to people or seems like I don’t know what I’m talking about.   There’s a reason for that.   The reason is one of perspective.   Most people can only relate to things that match their own worldview.   Indeed most people will only seek out information that validates their perspectives.   If something doesn’t validate their perspective they tend to reject the information.   That’s the reason why despite all of the books, seminars, coaches, and bloggers out there it seems like relationships are getting worse and not better.   Most commentators, including professionals, have only seen a part of the picture and not the whole thing.   There were some incidents many years ago that illustrate my point.

            When I first published my books I did a lot of seminars.   I remember two in particular that stand out because of the contrasts between the participants.   The first seminar was with a group of Black professionals.  The organizers of the seminar had read my book, Nice Guys and Players, and had pulled my character types out for role play among the participants.   They were scary spot on acting out the characters of the Nice Guy, Gamesman, and Masked Man.   When they got to Mr. Goodbar the characterization was off.  By miles.   An interesting thing happened.   When the discussion was focused on the first three types the conversation was lively even heated.   When I talked about Mr. Goodbar the place was quiet.  You could literally hear a pin drop.   The concept of a man who had women walk up and drop their panties was alien to most of the people in the room.  Well, except for the Goodbar in the corner working his magic on a Buppie with the phat ass booty.  He looked at me, gave me a head nod, and went back to work.   Like most things I’ve encountered in life I placed the moment in a mental file cabinet to pull out and think about later.

            The second incident came a few years later.   I was doing a seminar with some true to the game thugs.   These were men convicted of minor crimes and were only sitting down with me because a Judge didn’t leave them any choice in the matter.   An interesting thing happened.  Usually when I discussed my books and ideas with groups the information would be received with disbelief and at times ridiculed because it went against the belief systems of seminar participants.   At times I thought maybe I was the one who was off.   Then I come across a group of real thugs.   An interesting thing happened.   After a little bit of an introduction to my books these men opened up about their experiences and told me the contents of my books.   Not only did they know about Mr. Goodbar they were Mr. Goodbar.   These men were telling me some things that quite frankly a person would be hard-pressed to find a mention of in any form of media.

            See here’s the thing.   In a previous blog I talked about men and women having two faces, a social face and a sexual face.   The social face is the one everyone sees.   That’s the face with the business suit, going to the kids’ soccer games, and being good neighbor by keeping the grass cut.   Most relationship advice, most discussions about Alpha and Beta Males, most conversations about what women want focus on the social faces.   The sexual faces are something completely different.   Socially, a person has a professional job, is a good parent, and neighbor.   They even go to church regularly.   Sexually that person is a swinger who routinely has sex with strangers.   The sexual face is how a person behaves in sexual manner.   A major problem in relationship discussions is that the focus is on social faces.   The whole Alpha Male thing for example is based on a social face.   The Alpha Male is supposedly the take charge, center of attention man who gets all the hot women.   This of course is based on the assessment of what such a man is doing socially.   The man holding court in a bar is only dominating socially.   There may be a few women feeling his vibe but trust me they may never go home with him.    Many socially dominant men are weak behind closed doors.   So why do I say this?

            I’m one of those people who has encountered a WHOLE lot of people in life.   I personally have been acquainted with many alternative sex workers.   We’re talking about Dominatrixes and Tantric Massage workers.   I’ve also known phone sex workers, sugar babies, true gold diggers, escorts, and strippers.    These women have told me a lot about their clients.   We’re not talking losers living in their mom’s basements playing video games all day.   The women I talked to told me about encounters with men who were SOCIALLY Alpha Males.   Straight up, a dude living in his mom’s basement couldn’t afford most of these women.    It’s funny as hell to me that a whole subculture of men focuses on being the Alpha Males they see socially without knowing anything about the sexual faces of these men.    Let me share some things about myself to give the reader an idea about why I say the things I say.

            In my early twenties I was where many men pay thousands of dollars to get.   This was back in the late eighties and early nineties.   I was at the top of that thing called game.   I had zero anxiety approaching women.   To use the street language of the time, I had a “smooth rap.”  On top of that my fashion and grooming game was A-1.  I also had the status of being of Black man with a degree who was pursuing a post graduate degree.   The only real weakness in my game was my weight.   Though I’m a natural mesomorph, if I don’t work out consistently I would gain weight.   The good thing about me gaining weight is that my body tends to gain evenly and not just in one area such as my stomach.   Even though I had extra weight on I carried it very well.   At most my weight gave me an average physical appearance which I was able to compensate for by having a smooth rap and wicked fashion game, especially with my shoes.

            With my game at the time I was able to date and have sex with some very attractive and shapely women.   Now I had still had to put in some work to woo the women.   Nobody was sleeping with me on the first date, maybe fourth or fifth date.   Of course there were some rejections.  Also I did hear the words, “Let’s just be friends.”   There were plenty of women in what I call the “Not Sure Zone.”   Women in that zone will have a little sexual attraction for a man but not enough to simply drop her panties.   A man has to work for a woman in that zone.  Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he don’t.   Where I was at the time I thought I was at the top of the game.   I was getting a LOT of play from attractive women primarily in the six to eight range.   Even a few Nines and Tens showed some interest.   Then around 1991 I entered the Sexual Shadow World and had my mind blown.

            I had started running in the spring of 1990 because a Nine didn’t want to have sex with me because of my weight.   I was weighing about 230 and quite frankly getting a little sloppy.   During that summer my weight came down to about 215 and to be honest I didn’t think anything of it.   I was getting pretty much the same play I was getting before from women in the six to eight range.   Then some interesting things happened to take everything to a different level.

            The first was that I was in the application process for a certain prominent federal law enforcement agency.   I had passed the panel interviews and now had to prepare to pass a physical fitness test.   I was required to do a certain number of pushups, sit-ups, and to be able to run 2 miles under 16 minutes.   So instead of jogging I had to start running.   I had to train more intensely.  So starting in the winter of 1990 until the summer of 1991 I dropped even more weight.   I went down to 190 pounds of lean muscle mass.  I passed the test with flying colors.  I was walking around at my optimal physique as the sit-ups had developed my abs and the pushups had developed my arms and chest.   Women started going crazy over my body to the point where I would ROUTINELY get approached on the street.   Even had some young girls yell out their car windows while I was walking on the street.   So I had a body that was attracting women to me.   That was one part of the equation.   The second part came from some unique individuals.

            In the summer of 1991 I encountered some sex workers.   For legal reasons I can’t get into the particulars but during that summer I learned a lot about the inner sexual nature of women.   It was some things not discussed in public and still isn’t.   On the internet now there are some men who called themselves “Red Pill” because they think they know the sexual nature of women.   They don’t and they’re deluded.   They’ve barely scratched the surface.  They don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.    Even some men who get a lot of sex don’t live in the Sexual Shadow World.   But I digress.

            These sex workers gave me a real education.   I already knew a lot from women I had been around as a child but these women took me to a new level.   There were also one older man who gave me some insight.   One of the reasons I don’t hold what is taught as game on the internet in high regard is because of that man.   I’ll call the man James.   James was an older Jamaican who had a scary insight into how people behaved psychologically.   He could look at someone and tell you what’s going on with them.   He would mess with people’s heads just to pass the time.   He was especially adept at fucking or as he said “getting some punanny.”   He was talking about setting up a 900 line which was popular back then to tell men how to bring a woman to orgasm.   He was actually the first man I had met who was talking about satisfying women sexually.  Most men fail because they don’t look like they can or even care about getting a woman to orgasm.

            The combination of the sex workers and James took me into the Sexual Shadow World.   In that world Mr. Goodbar is the Alpha Male.   Yet in the social world the same man may be a minimum wage worker or shy in a crowd.    In the Sexual Shadow World the men at the top of the pyramid are not the tall good looking men with status or game.   Physical appearance is important, indeed of supreme importance but not in the classic way that is important in the social world.   First of all a man’s face doesn’t matter as much.   In the Sexual Shadow World a good looking face is a bonus but not a necessity.   If one takes an honest look at the SEXUALLY attractive people they are rarely very physically attractive in the face.   There are exceptions but in general SEXUALLY attractive people have average faces.   Don’t believe me?  Take a real good look at the men and women who turn on people sexually.   All they have in common are great bodies.   Many are buttafaces.   A good looking face is more important for in the social world.   When it comes down to sex, a man just needs a hot body, a decent size dick, and some fair sexual skills.

            In this case physical appearance is more about the body, the print, and how the man moves which gives the woman a clue about how he would be in bed.   See most of what’s in the media is focused on what women want socially.   The key to a woman is what type of man she lusts for.   A woman may publically say she wants a man who’s tall, with a good looking face, with status and a decent body.    Many women when presented with what they say they want may still reject the man.   The reason is that they don’t lust the man.  Indeed when many women say they love a man they are really saying they lust him.   Socially a woman may want that classic good looking man who seems dominant.   Sexually she wants that rough looking man with hard body and big dick who would pound her pussy like it stole something.

            A key component to the Nice Guys and Players Philosophy is to be a man who can satisfy a woman’s social needs AND her sexual needs.   Despite the talk about there being a shortage of men many women who are even reasonably attractive have two men in their lives.   The first man is the socially acceptable boyfriend or husband.   The first man takes her out, spends money on her, and provides emotional support.   He is acceptable to her friends and family.  In many cases he is considered an Alpha Male.   The second man is one nobody knows about.   His only purpose is to satisfy her lust.   He might not be classically handsome, he may be broke, and truth be told not even have what is commonly considered game.   He can fuck though. Well.

            Now I’m not talking about theory here.   During the period I lived in the Sexual Shadow World I would say the OVERWELMING majority of women I dealt with had boyfriends.   As far as I know I didn’t mess with any women with husbands.  I say as far as I know because women lie more than men.  I did know some men who didn’t have a problem with fucking another man’s wife.  I seriously consider women hypocrites when they talk about cheating men.   When women are in lust they don’t give a fuck.  A woman will fuck her best friend and sister’s husbands in a threesome if she lusts them.   They will find a rationalization to satisfy their lust.   It wasn’t certain trashy women either cheating either.  It was something that crossed class lines and even subcultures.   I’ve dealt with church girls, nerd girls, and princesses who cheated on their men.  Those goody-goody girls can be the worse.  The Sexual Shadow World is where that perfect Ten will do the freaky-freaky while tied up.

            Here’s the thing.   Many men reject what I tell them because it goes against CONVENTIONAL wisdom.   There are men out there who think if they just get some plastic surgery all of a sudden they’ll get hot woman.   There are men who think if they behave in a dominant manner the women will drop their panties.   There are men learning game in their attempts to get hot women or any women.   The only thing a man needs to do is develop himself to the point where a woman will LOOK at him and say to herself, “he can get it.”   At the point the man needs to be present enough to pick up on her SEXUAL desire.  He then needs to be smart enough not to say something stupid and give what one beautiful woman once said, “Instant dryness.”

            The only game is lust.   If a man wants more and better women he needs to develop his overall physical appearance so that it generates lust.   The man also has KNOW that women want sex as much as men.  Indeed the truth is the more sexually attractive a woman is the more they will choose a man based on pure lust.

            I just gave y’all some raw game.  I wonder who will pick up on it.   Hit up me here.

            Peace!

8 Comments

Think On This

12/6/2015

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            This is something sexually frustrated men really need to think on.   These are direct quotes from my books. Take your time with this.

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            A woman feels good when she is aroused. A man who can appeal to a woman’s senses and mind will usually be chosen. An aroused woman is under a powerful influence. She is under romantic intoxication.   Romance, when you break it down, is nothing more than a form of arousal. Those flowers, dinners, and getaways are designed to arouse women. Romance novels are popular for that reason. Romantic intoxication is worse than any other addiction. Women will change personalities while addicted to romance. They become more excited, their skin tingles, they get butterflies, and they begin to glow. Women have left their families, jobs, and friends to feed this addiction. A woman will sleep with her best friend’s husband while romantically intoxicated. Players can keep a woman in a state of romantic intoxication.   Nice guys fail to do this. A man skilled in the art of arousal, yes, it is an art, can manipulate a woman to the point where he can get anything he wants from her.   Good, responsible men need to develop their arousal skills not only to keep their women happy but also to protect them from the more predatory players. The man who masters the art of arousing his woman need not fear competition.

From Nice Guys and Players

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            One of the biggest complaints women have about their relationships with men is that they are not being sexually fulfilled.   This is part of the reason so many women chase after Mr. Goodbar. He is perceived to be able to satisfy women. Sometimes a woman may not be completely satisfied even with a Mr. Goodbar. A woman’s sexual satisfaction partly falls on her own shoulders so the fault is not entirely the man’s even though a woman may want to believe this.   Many women have issues with sexuality that must be dealt with before they can truly enjoy sex. A discussion of these issues is a book in itself.   Men, however, must develop themselves and their sexual techniques to the best of their ability.

From Sexual Chemistry

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One of the most talked about issues in male-female relationships is the subject of good girls and bad boys. The reason good girls fall for bad boys is the sensuality projected by these men. These men, be they rock star, pro athlete, or drug dealer are connected with their primal maleness. This alone sets them apart from most men. To make it in any profession be it music, sports, or illegal activity, a man has to have control over his primal instincts. Rock stars, no matter how crazy they act, have to practice their music and deal with business matters. Pro athletes have to practice many hours because they may be cut from the team for making a costly mistake during the game. Drug dealers have to be very disciplined or they wind up in jail or dead. Applied to interactions with women, the man is turning the women on by his primal maleness but his disciplined nature keeps his primal maleness from harming her.

From Meeting Attractive Women

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Using the term, “Mr. Goodbar” is not a random piece of slang.   One woman said it meant a man had a good dick.   Not really. “Mr. Goodbar” is more of an allegory of what women experience with this type of man. Most women like chocolate and I don’t mean in a racial sense.   Give most women something with chocolate in it, be it a candy bar or an ice cream sundae and they will derive great PLEASURE from eating that chocolate.   Some women will even get mild orgasms from eating chocolate.   Mr. Goodbar is a human version of that piece of chocolate.   She wants to indulge as much as possible in his presence.   Her body chemistry will literally change when she is around this man.   This chemistry produces a state of euphoria in the woman that is similar to the feeling a person gets when they drink alcohol.   The woman in Mr. Goodbar’s presence is in a state of romantic intoxication.    An overwhelming majority of women are addicted to getting this feeling of intoxication, this euphoria, this PLEASURE.    Women are just like junkies in this regard. Instead of tapping their arms for their fix, they tap their thighs.   The Players and Bad Boys are not delivering this drug on a street corner.   These men are delivering this drug in bedrooms, offices, storage rooms, and sometimes in back alleys.
            Here’s something deep for you. The key to where a man stands with women is his ability to deliver this drug, this euphoria, this intoxication. We will call this drug, “Pleasure.”   The biggest mistake most men make is not knowing how women see them.   Many men see themselves as Alpha Males. They will have kick-ass manager jobs or successful businesses making big money.   They will be above average in looks and height. They will have homes and cars.   Same type of men I described in the previous section. Yet they will struggle in their relationships with women. They may get sex but not from the Dimes.   They may have to settle with the Plain Jane with a slight attitude.   These men don’t get the best women because they are unable to deliver the Pleasure.   When the average woman is looking at a man she is looking for clues that he can deliver that good stuff.   Many men despite what they have going on for them materially and how confident they are they don’t think in terms of delivering Pleasure. Indeed most men when they get a little bit of money feel like women should fall over them.   They see the woman as an accessory to their lives, a trophy to be won if the woman is a Dime.   Knowing that women judge men according to their ability to deliver Pleasure it then shines a different light on the sexual hierarchy of how women see men.

From A Player’s Eyes

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Think on this.

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Nice Guys and Players in a Nutshell

11/22/2015

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  Back in the nineties, I was vending at an event in a popular DC restaurant and nightclub. While I was there I passed out a survey to many old and young women.   The survey required the women to read a statement and then answer a question.   The statement described a man who was handsome, muscular, educated, and had money.   The question to the women was what they would do with such a man.   The older women looked at the question and said things like get to know him and treat him with respect.   An interesting thing happened with the younger women. Not a single one answered the question. I saw one of the women just sit down and stare at the survey.    I thought about their reactions and searched for reasons why they would respond this way.   The search for solutions eventually led to the publication of my book, Nice Guys and Players (NGAP).

            The problem is that most men and women think in “either/or” terms with regard to how men are categorized.   They think that a man can only be a Nice Guy or a Player but not both.   A popular concept in certain male-dominated circles is “Alpha Fux, Beta Bux.”   This line of thinking says that women will have their sexual adventures with tall good looking Alpha males but when it comes time to marry they seek Beta males as stable financial providers.   This isn’t theory. This something anybody with a little bit of common sense sees happening all the time.   How many women have had wild uninhibited sex with pretty boys and jocks when they were young, in some cases having their babies, and then end up with an average looking dude who has a steady job?   Some women even marry the Average Joe and still hook up with the Fine Man every now and then.    It doesn’t have to be this way.   Who says a man can’t be an Alpha who fux and a Beta with bux?   A man can be both a Nice Guy AND a Player.

            When I was selling my book at expos and other vending events I had the same basic sales pitch.   I would say that, “Women like the Nice Guy because he’s supportive emotionally but he doesn’t turn them on sexually. Women like the Player sexually but he has five other women. The ideal man for a woman has the supportive traits of a Nice Guy but can turn on a woman like a Player.”   Women and Players got the concept right away.   They were my biggest customers. Selling the book to Nice Guys and men who thought they had game was like pulling teeth.   I’ve actually got into arguments with Nice Guys to the point I was ready to go to their jaws.   These Nice Guys couldn’t conceive that a man could be everything to a woman. It’s very possible though. I don’t write theories. Every single thing I’ve written in my books is something I’ve observed in the real world.   I’ll share some examples.

            I’ve spent a lot of time in gyms both as a member and as an employee.   As such I’ve got to know a lot of men.   Also in my former corporate life my social circle consisted primarily of educated professionals with post graduate degrees.   I’ve known several men who women described as handsome, these men were muscular, athletic as I played ball with some of them, and were sexually appealing to women.   The women these men had as wives, girlfriends, and lovers, were straight Dimes.   At the same time these men were high earning attorneys, doctors, and business owners.   I knew one dude who could dominate pickup basketball game, then bench press 400 lbs., go visit his beautiful girlfriend, and the next morning prepare for an important court case.

            Too many men limit themselves.   The key is being holistic.   If a man really reads my books without looking for some type of technique to pick up women they will see I give them the keys to the kingdom.   Everything comes down to developing both the mind and the body.   Most people who read my books see that I emphasize developing the body.   What most people don’t see is that I also talk about developing the mind as well.   I saw a negative review of NGAP that tried to make fun of me saying that men need to read more books.   The reviewer thought he was being slick but really he was an idiot.   The point of reading is to introduce ideas to the mind which will develop a person’s thinking.   Personally to keep my mind sharp I like reading books which challenged my belief systems.   Sometimes my thinking would change on a particular subject, and sometimes my stance would become stronger.   The thing is my mind gets the same level of exercise as my body.

            I don’t see any reason why a man cannot be a Nice Guy AND a Player.   I’ve known men who developed into both. I’ve known men who were good guy, do right types who changed their luck with women simply because they developed muscular bodies and changed their wardrobe.   When I used to have a bookstand years ago, men who were straight up, true to the game Thugs would buy out the books I had that dealt with history, religion, and holistic living.   These men became even more appealing to women as a result.

            In a nutshell, if a man wants not just women but a fulfilling life where he is living his purpose he must strive every day to develop both his mind and his body.   He has become both the Alpha who fux and the Beta with bux. He must become both a Nice Guy AND a Player.

Purchase Nice Guys and players

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A Player's Eyes Sizzle Reel

10/25/2015

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     The following are excerpts from my upcoming book, "A Player's Eyes - One Man's View of Sexual Relationships." The book will be available for purchase in November.

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            For many I’m the villain of the story.   Jealous men and jilted women have thrown shade my way over the years.   The men mad that the women they sweated, wined, dined, and chased for years showed me love when all I did was say hi and maybe held the door for them.   Jilted women mad at me because despite their seductive best I wasn’t feeling their flavor.   Hey a brotha got standards.   Whatever.   I never worried about these folks though. As long as they didn’t have a gun in their hands (and I’ve had guns in my face) I wasn’t worried.   It’s all part of the game of life.   I’ve lost women I’ve wanted to other men and I’ve been rejected.   It is what it is.

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In the popular culture and indeed in conventional beliefs there is the notion that looks don’t matter to women as much as they do with men.   Even when women do say that looks matter they will put it low on the list of priorities of what they want in a man.   I’m throwing a flag on that. Fifteen yard penalty for unsportsmanlike bullshit.    The reality is that not only do looks matter but they matter more to women than they do to men.   This is especially true in sexual matters.   When women look for long term partners such as boyfriends and husbands they will look at personality compatibility, social class, money, religious affiliation, political views, education level, and even something as trivial as music tastes.   The trick though is that they look for these things in men they find PHYSICALLY attractive.   When women say that there is a shortage of “good men” what they really mean is that there is a shortage of “good LOOKING men.”

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The dating scene is different for a Goodbar.   He doesn’t have to approach several women on the street hoping that one will not only stop and talk but also give him the correct number and return the text within an hour.   Usually women are either making it extremely easy for Goodbar to approach them or they simply take the initiative and find an excuse to approach Goodbar.

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Game as it is generally shared in the public sphere doesn’t work on women.   Men think it works on women but on the for real for real, women just let men think it works.   When a man approaches a woman, she has already decided what she’s going to do with him.   If she wants to have sex with him she has already decided to do so.   Now if he wants to throw some corny lines at her, make a production of getting her phone number, take her on an expensive date, and let him think he convinced her to take her panties down, far be it for her to spoil his illusion.   She’ll let him think he has control when in reality she’s been in total control the whole time.

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The reason women get played is not because they lack common sense, love thugs, or have a sign on their foreheads that says, “Victim.” The reason women get played is because of their egos.

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The Sexual Shadow World (Shadow World) is not a place. It is a shadow.   A shadow out of the corner of one’s eyes.   It is the realm where a few men and a whole lot of women express their sexuality free from society’s constraints.   It is where the stay at home soccer mom who makes the nice cupcakes for the neighborhood families has had an ongoing relationship with her young hot neighbor for years. It is where the high functioning autistic but good looking man who works in a library supplements his income by indulging in the fantasies of lonely but affluent women.   It’s a world that occasionally leaks out into the mainstream but remains quite hidden.   Someone introduced to this world would have their minds blown.

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I’ve read several blogs, studies, and watched several videos of those who promote the concept that looks matter. Of course I agree as improving one’s body has been the foundation of my books.   That being said there’s another level.   If you look at the information in the public sphere it gives the impression that ALL one needs to do is look good. Many people feel like if they get some type plastic surgery then their relationship issues will disappear.   They may get a little bit more attention but if other things are not in place that person will not be considered “sexy.”

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Many women are very insecure.   They can strut around like Amazons ready to conquer the world and whatnot. They can make a business deal in the morning and then go home to their big expensive houses and whip a fabulous dinner for themselves to eat while they watch their big screen TVs.   Yeah many women are dripping strength and confidence until they meet that drop dead gorgeous man who’s tall and buffed. That same woman who just addressed executives at a board meeting has trouble saying hello to the man as he walks by.   If she does speak she’ll stutter and once he walks by she’ll rush home to change her panties because she peed on herself.   It’s not that women don’t want Pretty Boys.   It’s just that the butterflies are doing the tango in their stomachs.   Just like men get anxiety around beautiful women, women get it worse around beautiful men.

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There is the thought that women want Alpha Males.   It’s something that I’ve promoted myself on occasion.   The Alpha Male is supposedly that tall, handsome man with a take charge dominant personality.   He kicks ass in all areas of society.   He’s the CEO of the billion dollar corporation, the football quarterback, he’s the charismatic leader of the drug cartel.    He is… THE MAN.   The wisdom is that these men get the best women. Indeed it is thought these men will have harems of beautiful women who are at their beck and call.    Most dating and seduction advice geared towards men provide techniques for a man to either become an Alpha Male or to imitate alpha characteristics.   To be bad it’s all bullshit.

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One of the main problems is that there are not enough Dimes to go around.   A man may not want to deal with the woman built like a water buffalo but he may live in a town with a whole herd of them.   The only time a man may consistently see Dimes is when he lives near a big college town or if he hangs around the most popular club in a big city.   Even then many of the Dimes are just Nickels who shined themselves up real good.   It’s interesting that there is so much talk about a shortage of good men yet it would be easy for men to say that there is a shortage of good women. Unlike women, men would be honest enough to say that we mean beautiful and sexy.

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I have real problems with the “game” that is taught on the Internet in blogs, forums and in expensive seminars held in big hotel rooms.   My problem is that the shit don’t work for the majority of men who make efforts to learn this “game.”   I based that comment on not only several statements made by disgruntled men on the Internet who feel like they have been scammed but from dealing with men who have called themselves “Pick Up Artists” (PUAs).   I’ve coached men who have gone through these seminars and classes. Usually I have to deprogram them before I can teach them anything useful.   The problem is what the men are being taught is wack to begin with.

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Many men have been attracted to a woman who will look them in the eye and say; “You have so many great qualities but I only see you as a friend.” They will also say, “You’re going to make some woman very lucky one day.”   Most men just grin and bear it until they see the object of their desire walking around with another man.   Not just any man either.   The Good Guy has a degree, a career, his own home, and a late model car.   The woman who friend zoned him is walking around with an underemployed high school dropout who lives in his mother’s basement and doesn’t even have a driver’s license.

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It’s interesting to listen to Non-Select men complain about the choices women make.   They can’t for the life of them see the appeal of a Player or Bad Boy.   They think the women are the ones with issues and they should go for the Good Guys.   Even the women feel this way. Many women will wonder why they can’t seem to fall in love with a gainfully employed, church going, and respectful man. Instead the women are going crazy over a man who barely texts them, who may put them down, and will have multiple other women.   Even when women kick a Player to the curb they usually end up swooning for another Player. What’s the issue?   From "A Player’s Eyes" the answer is simple.   A woman will put up with a Player, Bad Boy, or Dog for one reason and one reason alone: That drug called PLEASURE.

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People don’t realize how deep it for a man to sleep with a great number of women in his lifetime.   That’s why a lot of men go crazy if they get dumped by their girlfriends or divorced from their wives.   Once a man finds that one woman who will fuck him on the regular he wants to hold on tight.   Many men will lock down their women for that reason.   Even when a man cheats he just has one other mistress.   The average man will have about thirty women in his life who will feel a natural attraction to him.   Thing is he’s not going to have sex with all thirty if he even meets them.   Most people will not meet all the persons most naturally attracted to them.   The man may be lucky to meet his thirty but fifteen of them will be in relationships.   He will not be naturally attracted to ten of them.   The timing will be off with at least two of the women.   So he may hook up with three women.

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The biggest single problem in male/female relationships is that most people are not realistic in searching for a mate.   You have plain looking, average shaped women with boring personalities thinking they can get a top tier male.   These women will not only reject men who are more in their league as far as looks and personality but they will do so with an attitude.   Even when they manage to hook up with a Select Man in most cases they are not really compatible.   Bomb sex doesn’t mean that two people need to be together outside the bedroom.   Dude could just have that good dick which he shares with five other women.   Yet Plain Jane thinks its love when she is really just a cool booty call.   Then when Plain Jane realizes that Mr. Goodbar doesn’t love her all men become dogs until she starts to swoon in the arms of another sexy dude.

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The reality is that only a small percentage of men have experienced what I have with dealing with women.   The majority struggle in their relationships. That’s even when they can get one.   Many men don’t believe anything they haven’t personally experienced.   I’ve told men that I’ve always been approached by Dimes and they think I’m lying.   The reason is they and their associates have never been approached by a beautiful woman. I mentioned to a couple of men that several women have showed up to my living space in the past without wearing underwear.   No way have they said, because it hasn’t happened to them.   I tell them I have to think hard about how many women I’ve had some sexual contact with in my life.   They think I’m automatically think I’m bullshitting because they remember the three women they have been with.

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How Women Really See Men

5/31/2015

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            One of the foundations of what I talk about in my books and blogs is how women categorize men into select and non-select categories.   These categories are further broken down into four subcategories.   For the most part it has helped many people and I will continue to use the categories in a general sense when discussing certain aspects of male/female relationships. That being said, I also believe in evolution.   I’m a student as well as a teacher and I will continue learn and evolve until the day I transition.   I’ve encountered a very significant issue with this classification system.   I’ve known about it for years but until now haven’t figured out a way to correct the issue.   The problem is that despite how descriptive I tend to be with the categories many men have a hard time figuring out where they are placed.

            Most men think they are select.   If I ask a man where he think he places many will say Mr. Goodbar.   Some with a little bit of money will say Masked Man.   Listening to these men talk and being in a position to watch women respond to them I realize that these men are non-select.   At the same time I’ve had men who would definitely qualify as Mr. Goodbar identify themselves as Nice Guys because they didn’t feel like they had game. Understandable since Mr. Goodbar types tend to be lousy at doing any work to get a woman.   Very few Goodbars have “game.”   Almost no man identifies themselves as a Gamesmen even though conversations with them reveal that the only they get women is through deception.   Thus the big problem.   Though many men get the concepts in general they have still not been as helpful as they could be.

            It’s the same thing for people who use the Alpha Male/Beta Male model.   Many men are confused as to what is Alpha and what is Beta.   This question will be asked and discussed on many message boards and blogs.   Some men will think they are Alpha when they are not. Some men will think they are Beta when they are not.   See the key to all this is not how men see themselves but rather how women see them.

            See when women categorize men they don’t do so in hierarchal terms.   They don’t go into a club and say, “Oh there’s the Alpha Male, let me try to get his attention.”   They don’t really use the terms I use either which are really like general allegories.   They don’t go into a club and say “Oh, there’s Mr. Goodbar, let me go jump on his dick because he’s taller and handsomer than the other men.”   Men and women think differently. Men tend to be more direct and focused.   Men are like Hawks.   A Hawk will fly from point A to point B in the shortest time possible.   Women are like Butterflies.   A Butterfly will still go from Point A to Point B but they will stop every time they get a chance.   They sure as hell won’t go in a straight line.   They might fly close to point B at some point and then fly back to point A.   Women are more circular in their thoughts and movements.   Women don’t rate men according to hierarchy but rather according to whatever their needs are at that particular moment.

            What follows are eight of the categories that women in general put men into. There are actually more depending on the woman. I won’t use allegorical names for this.   These are everyday terms that any man can recognize.   Also something to keep in mind is that all men can fall into every single category.   A man who is seen as Husband material to one woman is seen as a Creep to another woman.   A man who is seen as Dick to one woman is Invisible to still another woman.   The thing to understand from these categories knowing that regardless of how a man see himself a woman will have a completely different viewpoint.

HUSBAND

            As the name suggests women see this man as good husband material.   This doesn’t mean they see him as particularly handsome or sexy.   It means they see him as someone they could build a life with.   Usually it means someone that shares their value system and would be acceptable to family and social circle.   For most women it means a responsible man who will handle his business.   Women tend to take their time with this man.   They will date this man for a while before sleeping with him because most women know that men will not want to marry a woman who has sex with them too soon.   Women tend to get conservative when dealing with a Husband type.   Women tend to choose Husbands for pragmatic reasons and not for romantic reasons.

BOYFRIEND

            The Boyfriend isn’t seen as a marriage prospect.   Yes many women marry their boyfriends after a while but this is something different.   The Boyfriend serves two primary purposes, entertainment and companionship.   The Boyfriend is the steady guy to have fun with and provide regular sex.   He isn’t necessarily Husband material.   Many women know that beyond fun and games the man they’re dealing with is a loser. Some lie to themselves and try to see something that isn’t there but as I maintain, women are way more pragmatic than they are given credit for.   Many women who deal with bad boys don’t plan to marry these men. That’s why a woman can be with a Boyfriend for years and still end up marrying another man.

DICK

            When a woman sees a man as Dick, it literally means his value to her is his penis.   Dick is not seen as Husband or Boyfriend material. This is regardless of what Dick has going for him socially.   A significant number of women just want a hard penis up in them.   Dick is whoever a woman considers sexy enough to jump his bones with as few complications as possible.   Generally men in this category have solid body builds.   Facially these men may not be the most handsome and they may not be that intelligent.   It’s irrelevant as women just want their dicks.   Many women with Husbands and Boyfriends will cheat with Dick.   Dick’s calling card is great sex or at least the women will think so upon meeting them.   Much of a woman’s arousal is based on her imagination but that’s is another blog.

BUDDY

          A woman will have sex occasionally with Husbands, more with Boyfriends, and as much as possible with Dicks.   When a woman sees a man as a Buddy he’s been put in the dreaded friend zone.   A Buddy is the type of man a woman will be cool with.   She will have conversations with him. She will joke around with him but she does not see him in a sexual manner.   She might not even him as a friend.   A Buddy is more somebody a woman happens to know.   They probably have something in common like work or a social group. A woman is not going to share any deep secrets with a Buddy.

BROTHER

           A woman seeing a man as a Brother is probably the worst part of the friend zone.   That means the women sees ZERO sexual value in a particular man.   Even a Buddy with some effort can move into the Husband or Boyfriend category.   When a woman puts a man into the Brother category on some level she is saying, “I will never have sex with you.” What she will do is treat you like her brother or depending on the situation, her sister.   A woman will tell a Brother, “I haven’t had sex with my Husband in a year but that’s okay.   Dick has been giving me that good-good. He got a big one and knows how to use it.”   A man knows he’s been seen as a woman’s Brother when she has no problem discussing intimate details of her sex life with him.

THIRSTY

            A woman sees a man as Thirsty when he just pesters the hell out of her and she has no interest in him.   This is the guy who likes all of her pictures on social media or texts her all the time if he manages to get her number. Most women see men who catcall them on the street as Thirsty.   Most women are turned off by Thirsty men.   The reason why is because of how women think.   Their reasoning is that if a man is getting regular sex he’s not going to be thirsty.   Thus if a man is thirsty something must be wrong with him if he is not getting regular sex.   A few women will keep a Thirsty man around for a spare Dick.   Thirsty men are to women what fat ugly women are to men, easy.   Every now and then a woman needs somebody who is going to come over and eat the pussy without any major problems.   Many will string along a Thirsty man for this reason.

CREEP

          Thirsty men tend to be decent looking enough for some women to string along.   Creeps are Thirsty men who are physically repulsive to women.   They are unable to physically arouse women. Indeed their presence tends to evoke negative feelings in women.   A man in the Dick category can say, “Good morning” to a woman and she will go weak in the knees.   A Creep says the exact same thing he might get cursed out and have a video of him getting cursed out go viral on the internet.   Women will get mad that a Creep even approaches them.

INVISIBLE

         Women don’t even see these men.   There could be a social event where are thirty men.   Ten of the men are Invisible.   Later when asked how many men were at the event most of the women in attendance will say, “About twenty.”   Yeah it’s that deep.   An Invisible can say, “Good morning” to a woman on the street and she won’t respond because she literally didn’t hear or see him.   Many men don’t register on a woman’s radar. Women simply don’t see them.   Even a Creep registers more than an Invisible.

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            As I said these are only eight of the categories. Every SINGLE woman has a way she rates men which will be influenced by factors such as race, religion, economic class, and even whether she is in hurry to get home to watch a TV show.   The average woman sizes up a man according to her criteria in a few seconds.   They are very good at this.   Indeed I call bullshit on women who act surprised when a man they’re dealing with turns out to be a loser. Very few women are fooled that easily by a man.   Women learn how to read men from the time they are babies.   The problem is women like to play innocent victims and many simps and white knights want to believe them.   I’m going to go in on this in another blog.

            The takeaway is that a man must work hard to find out how women really see him.   Don’t ask family members. If they love you they won’t be honest.   Ask women you think will tell you the truth.   A player once told me that it’s very important to cultivate female friends who will practice tough love with you.   They will let a man know how other women see him.   They will even suggest improvements.   Once a man knows how women see him he can make real progress in getting the women he truly desires.

2 Comments

The Wolf

5/24/2015

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            I was watching a video the other day. It was a Pickup Artist (PUA) telling a hotel hall full of men how to get women. Same old thing.   I only watched a few minutes when a thought came in my head. The thought was, “That bamma don’t get no damn pussy.” At that moment I didn’t see him as many clueless virgin and involuntary celibate men saw him.   Since they were paying lots of money to sit and listen to him they obviously saw him as a player, ladies’ man, Alpha Male, whateva.   I doubt this bamma even got pity sex from a woman.   The reason I felt this way because despite sounding confident and knowledgeable he missed one key ingredient that drives women wild.   He didn’t have The Wolf.

            Now what is The Wolf?   To know The Wolf, one has to understand the three levels of real sexual attraction.   The first level is physical appearance.   The foundation of sexually arousing a person is having a good body build.   No amount of political correctness will change this.   Different groups of people are trying to alter this reality but movements that came about in the last fifty years are not going to change millions of years of evolution.   The only law nature adheres to is “survival of the fittest.”   The second level is the ability to emotionally connect with another person.   Two people physically attracted to each other go on a date but find they are incompatible.   The potential of a relationship is not there.   Most relationship advice focuses on the first two levels whether it’s the dating coach, therapist, or Tantra Master.   Then there’s a third level which no one seems to talk about.   The Wolf.

            The third level of sexual attraction is primal.   The body and mind are at best outer representations of an inner thing. That thing is energy. It is intangible.   You can’t see it.   A person can most certainly feel it even it’s on a subconscious level.   In a woman it is the energy that draws a man to want to impregnate her.   A woman’s egg does not leave the body to find a sperm.   To reproduce a woman has to entice a man to her.   This energy makes a woman passive and receptive. She is a juicy fruit on a tree. Subconsciously the energy is saying to the man, “come get this fruit.”   In a man, it is the energy that moves a man to take ACTION to get the fruit. The primal masculine energy makes the man assertive and aggressive.   The man will only reproduce if the sperm leaves his body and enters a woman’s body in search of the egg.   Thus we have The Wolf.

            The Wolf isn’t that suit and tie dude flashing his money and playing up his status.   The Wolf isn’t that passive aggressive dude using some type of game to get with a woman.   The Wolf isn’t about the money. The Wolf isn’t about talking.   The Wolf is about energy.   When a woman looks at The Wolf she will feel that energy.   The Wolf doesn’t have to say a word.    The very presentation of The Wolf says to the woman, “I will pick you up and slam against you the wall and bang the living shit out of you.   You will scream at the top of your lungs in pure ecstasy as I take you to the highest levels of orgasm.   You will feel the raw lust is that is aroused by the very sight, smell and touch of you.   I will take that muthafucking pussy!” All this is communicated to a woman in mere seconds.   A woman sees a man radiating this type of energy and she has three orgasms on the spot.

            A man knows when another man has that energy because he will either feel scared and his muscles will tense to prepare him to fight.   Many men who practice what they consider to be “game” try to “out Alpha” other men in their social groups.   They will use verbal putdowns to impress the women.   These men don’t have The Wolf.   Men who have The Wolf don’t talk much when confronting or competing with other men.     Most men do not fuck with The Wolf. It’s hard to adequately describe this energy because it is primal and older than human communication.   It’s like charisma, you know it when you see it.   You feel it.

            The Wolf is highly suppressed in this society.   Men don’t really do anything to bring out The Wolf.   Men can get in trouble for merely looking at a woman with The Wolf energy which is simply raw lust.   It’s not just sex. The Wolf is also a fighter but how much do men really fight with their hands now?   Guns are for cowards. It doesn’t take courage or heart to fire a gun at someone. The Wolf fights with his hands. That’s raw aggression.   Men watch TV to watch other men be men.   The Wolf is a hunter. How many men truly hunt for their food and not just for sport?   Many men are becoming like women energetically.   Muscular men get so much attention not because they are muscular but because there is little competition.   Men are physically looking soft.   And they have the nerve to wonder why women ain’t giving them no pussy.

            With the Wolf being so suppressed many men are turning to money and game to make up for what they lack inside. Yeah I said it.   There are many men who have nice bodies, are handsome, and they have an above average economic status. Yet they have trouble getting women.   These are Masked Men who lack The Wolf.   Men who rely on game have it worse. They lie to themselves thinking they are winning but if a man has to use strategy, wordplay, and quite frankly deceptive tricks they don’t have The Wolf.   The Wolf can walk down the street minding his own business and have women get wet just from looking and more importantly feeling him.

            If a man has to use money, game, or even looks to get women he doesn’t have The Wolf.

            Now there are some men who do have The Wolf. They are the Bad Boys and Thugs out there. To be clear not every Bad Boy has The Wolf.   Many of these so-called Thugs are nothing but a type of Masked Man.   Anybody can get a tattoo.   There are doctors and lawyers with tattoos.   It’s easy to take the appearance of a rebel.   I’ve mentioned before on this blog that I did a seminar with true to the game Thugs.   These were men with criminal records and The Wolf.   Dangerous men. Not a single one had a tattoo.   Indeed from appearances alone it looked like I was at a bible study.

            Getting back to Bad Boys with The Wolf the thing to understand is that the very nature of the energy makes it hard for a man to conform.   It’s takes a lot of will-power. Someone with The Wolf has hard time following society’s rules. Most of the laws and customs are tools used by the elite to control the movement of people.   The Wolf isn’t a sheep.   The Bad Boy is seen as such because he doesn’t follow the rules.   When women are drawn to Bad Boys or Thugs they are really drawn to their energy.   A store clerk with the same energy will draw just as many women as a Thug. Ask me how I know.

            If someone really reads my books what I do is give someone the blueprint for unleashing The Wolf.   Society needs men to be men.   A man’s nature is to bring order out of chaos.   To bring order a man needs to maximize his potential.

            Do the work and unleash the beast.

16 Comments

Goodbar Land

5/17/2015

0 Comments

            I had an interesting day yesterday.   I was out and about doing what I do. I had several conversations with men about what men usually talk about if it is not sports, women.   One young man was telling me how tired he was feeling because his girl wore him out the night before. He was also telling me how jealous she gets because other women check him out and that she always checks his phone.   He also had a lot of insight into the true nature of women.   Now this is a young Black male who society would label as a thug because of his braided hair and rough appearance.   I had a conversation an hour or so later with a muscular white man who had a lot of insight into women.   This dude was a self-described Poon Hound.   Watching his head swivel every time a woman walked past us was entertaining.   As he said, “I like women. All women.”   This the type of cat who would fuck anything female that moves.   He walk by an aquarium the fish would stop swimming. He walk outside the wind stops blowing.   Outside these two, I got texts throughout the day from men who get more women than they know what to do with. It was a Goodbar type of day.   It very refreshing.

            As I’ve written several times I have talked with literally thousands of women. What I don’t say is that I’ve talked with literally thousands of men. Now when men get together the two main topics of conversation will be sports and women.   Indeed a man can go anywhere on the planet and connect with locals talking about sports or women, especially women. I’m convinced a phat ass can bring world peace.   Now most of the conversations are men complaining about their lack of success with women.   I spend a significant amount of time listening to every negative thing possible being said about women.   Even online the majority of men’s social media pages, blogs, videos, and websites are talking negative. This is the case even with sites dedicated to men improving with women.   I referenced a few of these sites in my blog, Different Worlds of Men.    There was one, however, I didn’t reference.   That world was Goodbar Land.

            I have yet to find a website that caters to Mr. Goodbar.   I’ve found some that are arguably close.   In my Different Worlds blog I mention Better Man World and Poly World.   These aren’t Goodbars though. These are Masked Man types.   These are men who had to do a lot of work to become select.   There was another underground site I didn’t mention in that article that I was privy to that catered to real Pimps.   You had to know somebody to get the link for that site. It still wasn’t a Goodbar site.   Contrary to popular belief the Pimps really don’t have as much insight into the female mind as a Goodbar. Pimps are skilled at finding and managing women who are willing to sell their body. Pimps are lousy at dealing with regular or what they call square women.   The image of the pimp is more in public consciousness. Goodbar is something else entirely.

            I have a vivid memory of a seminar I did back in 2001 based on my book, Nice Guys and Players.   It was with a group of young Black professionals.   It was standing room only and a lot of energy.   A fun part of the seminar was people acting out in skits the different character types I had in my books. It was all improv with a man and woman in each skit. They were given a brief description of each character and they went to work.   The Nice Guy and Masked Man skits were good. The Gamesman skit had me on the floor laughing.   Dude had legitimate good game which quite frankly is rare.   He later told me he had seven sisters who taught him a lot. Anyway when they got to the Goodbar skit the man came on to the woman very aggressively and I stopped laughing.   It was all wrong.   I explained the problems of the interpretation and people looked at me as if I had an antenna growing out of my head.

            Let me explain something about Mr. Goodbar.   He is the top of food chain as far as sexual desirability.   He is an Apex predator.   People think Pimps or Macks are the top dogs, the Alpha Males, but it’s really Mr. Goodbar.   The key piece with Goodbar is not that he chases women but rather they chase him.   Women actively try to seduce Mr. Goodbar.   This is an alien concept to most men who are not Goodbars. Women already know even though they don’t talk about it publically and especially not in mixed company.   Goodbars don’t street harass or spend money trying to impress women. Women will street harass and spend money trying to impress Goodbar.   Gigolos and Male Strippers are Goodbars who have gone pro.   I remember this one dude who telling me he had “arrived.”   He felt that since he was starting to get sex with decent women that he was the man.   He found out the hard way that he wasn’t.   He was getting women based on his salary, his home, and his cars.   He had arrived as a Masked Man, the mask being the resources but he wasn’t Goodbar.   A man knows he is Goodbar when women show up to his place with a trench coat on and nothing else.   A man knows he’s Goodbar when he get late night texts talking about, “What you doing?”   If a man has to open his wallet he’s not Goodbar.   Only a small percentage of men have it like that.

            Now many people think that Goodbar is probably a really handsome man that looks like a male model.   Not really.   First of all handsome is a subjective thing. What’s handsome to one woman is ugly to another.   When it comes to dating advice, there is too much emphasis on facial features even when it is said, “Looks don’t matter.”   For people who believe looks matter they feel that as long as a man has a handsome face he will get attention.   I would say I’ve seen this to be the case when a man has an EXTREMELY handsome face.   Otherwise there are standard handsome men who have a lot of trouble with women.   The issue is not their faces.   The key to turning on a woman sexually is not the face.   There are millions of handsome men who are also seen as Nice Guys.   Facially many may be better looking to women than a Goodbar.   These men are also skinny or overweight.   The key ingredient for a Goodbar is not the face but his body.   What separates Mr. Goodbar from other men is his body.   More on that later.

            See a failing with many men in relating to women is that they are too much in their heads.   They are approaching women using logical thinking.   Logical thinking by its very nature is microcosmic. It is left-brained. It sees a small part of the overall picture.   It is thinking based on information. It is limited if the information on a particular subject is limited.   For example, many men base their actions in relating to women on studies and statistics.   One example is the idea that fifty percent of Black women have herpes.   This is according to a Center for Disease Control study.   This study is based on actual test results.   Many men will base their logical thinking on this study when dealing with Black women.   The problem with this type of thinking is obvious to someone using common sense.   In order for the statement that fifty percent of Black women have herpes every single Black woman in the country would have to be tested.   A more accurate statement would be to say that fifty percent of the Black women TESTED for herpes had the disease.   A woman would only get tested for herpes or anything else for the matter only if they showed symptoms.   An analogy would be that a woman wouldn’t get tested for pregnancy unless she showed symptoms.

            My point is that logical thinking is limited as far as relationships are concerned.   It’s good for professions which have well established rules, regulations, and standards.   Dealing with women is another thing entirely.   A man who is too much in his head will see a Goodbar at a bar say something to a women and see her immediately get sexual with him.   So the man in his head thinks, “If I say the same thing I will get the same result.”   Most “game” advice focuses on saying the right things to women.   So the man says the same things as the Goodbar and fails miserably.   Depending on where he is he may get kicked out of the club or even arrested.   What the man using logic didn’t see was that the Goodbar turned on the woman sexually before he even said a word to her.   The woman was turned on by the man’s body.   All the Goodbar had to do was pick up on the woman’s interest which leads to another difference between Goodbar and the rest of the male population.   Mr. Goodbar doesn’t think the same way as other men.

            There are actually four modes of thinking.   Logical thinking is one mode which is linear, left-brained, and microcosmic.   There is also analytical thinking which is abstract, left-brained and microcosmic.   It uses analogy to compare one thing to another in order to come to a conclusion.   There is a mode called synthesis which is holistic, right-brained, and macrocosmic.   Synthesis looks at the big picture and how different parts of the picture fit together.   People who have a lot of common sense are using synthesis. Finally there is integration which is intuitive, right-brained, and macrocosmic.   People who use integration are the type that do things based on “gut feelings.”   They are drawing from their subconscious mind.   They can read a person or situation accurately without any outside information.   Most human innovations came from integration.

            As far as the four categories of men, Nice Guys, Gamesmen, and Masked Men tend to use logical and analytical thinking.   Good for working in many professions and keeping a car running but not so good for dealing with women. Relationships are a right-brain thing.   Men and even women who approach relationships using their left-brain are doomed to failure and at best a passionless coupling based on pragmatic concerns.    Goodbars tend to use synthesis and integration.   One way that I know when a man is a Goodbar or at least has the potential is that he can read women real well.   This isn’t the type of reads that are taught in PUA boot camps which treat all the women the same. A Goodbar reads each woman as an individual and adjusts his actions accordingly. Goodbar is using intuition and also a lot of common sense.   Goodbars know that women are into sex as much, even more than men.   Strangely, many men think women don’t want sex as much as men and are scandalized when women show how sexual they can really get.   Goodbar intuits a woman’s sexual interest.   Using common sense Goodbar realizes that just like men are attracted to a woman’s body, women are attracted to a man’s body.

            Many dating advice professionals will advise men to join a gym and get fit.   The problem is that the men will still approach women while still in their heads.   They still think some magic words or behaviors will turn on a woman sexually.   Here’s a reality. The men who get the most panties thrown at them are not the brightest as group.   I thought so at one time because of a personal bias but if I’m being honest the men who get the most women are not that bright at least not in a left-brain logical way.   There are exceptions like in everything else.   The women are responding to the man’s body.   Just like a man wants to suck those breasts and grab that ass, a woman wants to lick that chest and grab that ass too. Ask me how I know. Women as a group are DRAWN to a certain body type, which tends to be mesomorphic or very close to it. The affect is literally magnetic to women. Men who are not close to that ideal need to be extremely handsome AND tall. For any man not at those ideals women will be a struggle and are doing well to simply get a cooperative girlfriend.   One thing Goodbar doesn’t do is overthink situations with women.   Women really aren’t that deep.

            There is so much I can say.   For anyone trying to get into Goodbar Land hit the gym.   If you’re skinny add some bulk.   If you’re overweight lose some weight.   Even after you do all that learn to think differently.   I know many men want to take workshops and read books on women.   Many men will listen to other clueless men.   Ultimately every man needs to cultivate his intuition and common sense.   Follow those gut feelings.   There has been many beautiful woman I passed over because my gut feeling screamed, “Oh hell no!”   I have no regrets.   I always found out something negative about the woman later on.   Use some common sense.   Dealing with women in a cookie cutter manner is stupid. Each woman no matter how similar she is to other women is still an individual.   You gotta read that woman.   You can’t follow a script.   If you are having trouble with women it’s not the women. It’s you. You need to change your thinking because apparently it’s not working.

            One final thing.   The man who just read this needs to ask himself some basic questions.   Does he want to live in a world where he has to remember lines, spend money, and chase women who may end up friend zoning him?   Does he want to live in a world where women show up to his door wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels?

            Think on this.

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