“Nice” guys do not finish first. At least as far as their sexual life is concerned. Charles has found out that being a sensitive kind of guy does not always pay. Charles has discovered that being a nice guy has placed him into the second category of men, the “non-select” group. He has discovered that most often his kindness is seen as a sign of weakness. But this situation is his own fault. He can change it. The alternating cycle of attraction will help.
At the age of twenty-two we find Charles excelling on his job, popular in his church, and respected by his neighbors. Many of the mothers in his old neighborhood wish their daughters would bring home a man like Charles. But the daughters disagree. At this point Charles meets Elaine. For Charles, Elaine is one of the carnal women sent by his cycle. Elaine just wants to be friends with Charles. Elaine has the masochistic personality structure. She is also an intelligentsian. Charles tried to romance Elaine but it didn’t work. He took her out on dates and spent money on her, but she insisted the relationship remain platonic. Charles remembered her birthday and knew her favorite color. He calls Elaine beforehand if he will be late for a date. Charles is not cheap, dishonest, or crude, but none of this impressed Elaine. Elaine called Charles to ask him to help her assemble a new piece of exercise equipment. He helped her. She called Charles when she needed help to move into a new apartment. He helped her.
At the same time that Elaine was friends with Charles, she was intimate with Joe. Joe has the psychopathic personality structure. Charles did not know about Joe. Joe rarely took Elaine out for anything, and when they went out Elaine paid half. But she didn’t mind. Joe forgot Elaine’s birthday, and she spent that night alone in tears. Joe has broken two dates with Elaine and never gave her a good explanation. Elaine called Joe to help her assemble that equipment before she called Charles, but Joe said he was busy. He was just watching the game in reality, and just did not wish to be bothered. Two nights later Joe came over while Elaine was working out on her new machine. He made love to her right on the exercise machine Charles had helped put together. The irony never occurred to Elaine. In a few weeks Elaine caught Joe in a lie. She suspected he was seeing another woman, and he had lied about having a beeper. That and other things caused the temporary break up of the relationship between Elaine and Joe. After the break up, Elaine called Charles to cry on his shoulders.
Charles finally decided to give up on Elaine and move on. Female adults have a dual sexual character. That is, they have a spiritual sexual nature, and a carnal sexual nature. And so it follows that they have dual sexual needs, both a set of spiritual sexual needs and a set of carnal sexual needs. But in many females half of their sexual needs are not apparent, or poorly expressed. They are not necessarily fully aware of the needs themselves. For a man to be fully attractive, and fully able to satisfy the opposite sex, he must be aware of and able to fulfill both sets of needs. Charles is not. He is not able to, nor fully motivated to fulfill her carnal set of needs. And therein lies the problem. Charles had a good male friend from Haiti that he met in college. One evening he and his friend were talking about Elaine and women in general over a beer. His friend recommended that Charles pay a visit to a Yoruba priest that he knew. It took a few more beers to convince Charles, but finally he said “what the heck”, and they left to go to the shrine house. It turned out to be a defining event in Charles’ life. The shrine turned out to be a scary place to Charles at first. There were many strange looking objects about that gave the interior a weird vibration. He was expecting the priest to be a strange looking individual and he was. But once he opened his mouth Charles could tell that this was no ordinary man. Charles made his complaint to the shrine, and the priest proceeded to give him a reading. Charles was astonished that the shrine seemed to know a lot about his childhood and family. But the advice that the priest gave him did not seem to make much sense. He had expected that the shrine would give him some magic powder or roots. But what he was told to do had to do with his own personal nature, and his development in life, from his ancestors to that present moment. The deities at that shrine had performed their own sexual portfolio on Charles, better than any we can outline in a book. And they had determined the best steps for Charles to take now, all factors in his life considered. They told Charles what signs to look for in his next female companion.
And so Charles began a transformation. He began to work out at the company gym. He began to reduce his community and church activities and began to focus more energy on building up his masculine nature. He began to read about his inner nature. He took a class in Kung Fu. He followed the instructions of the shrine and went back for several follow-up visits. And soon, just as the shrine had said, Charles met a woman named Michelle, and he could recognize her by certain signs. Michelle had a spiritual persona when compared to Charles, but she was still very physically attractive. She and Charles slowly developed a good relationship. Through his interaction with Michelle, Charles, began to get into greater alignment with the carnal aspect of his masculine persona. He began to get in touch with his assertive, aggressive nature. His root chakra began to open. This was due to the work being done on his behalf at the shrine. And during this period feelings or suppressed anger were stirred up and brought to the surface. The opening of the psychic body created urges and emotions in Charles that he may at first find hard to control or justify. He did not like some of the things he felt himself becoming. For this man can be cruel as well as sensitive. This man does not take rejection well. And sometimes Michelle found him difficult to tolerate. But this phase passed.
To be continued…
Amanmere pp. 217 - 219
Yao Nyamekye Morris is also author of the Urban Science Fiction Epic, The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. His website is http://www.oraclekhemsanu.com/