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Goodbar Speaks

6/1/2014

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I have a guest blogger this week.  The infamous Dexter Goodbar.   Just to let you know there is explicit language.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  - Rom Wills

*****************
            Yeah,

            So my big homie Rom asked me to write a guest blog for him this week.   I see he’s been telling people about me so he guessed y’all need me to lace you with game from the man himself.   I had to think about what I wanted to write about.  Since Rom telling y’all about all these women throwing themselves at me I thought I would talk about that.  He tried to get that playa Roger to do it.  Roger though didn’t have a break in the rotation of his women.  Roger said God put him on Earth to make women holler.   He couldn’t write the blog because he’s too busy doing the Lord’s work.  Praise him! And back that thing up!

            I’m getting older, I do the Lord’s work too but I rest on Sundays so here I am.

            You know what, bamas out here too damn pressed for women.   You got these men out here chasing women, simping and whatnot.   They got this dumbass idea that they have to convince a woman to have sex.   They actually believe women aren’t as interested in sex as men.  You know that’s some bullshit.   Naw, women just don’t want have sex with certain men.   They just like us.   Men want women with those big round breasts, small waists, phat booty, and shapely legs that can crush a man’s back.   They act like women don’t care about a man’s body as well.   Women looking for that big chest and smile.   Quiet as it kept they check out legs too especially that third one.   Bamas be trying to use logic to get a woman into bed or buy her with some money.  Naw just get that bench press up and stop eating that shit that’s making your stomach poke out.  

            Bamas know in general that women choose the men.   I don’t think they get it though and what it really means.   Women when they want a man will try to seduce him.   If a woman ain’t trying to seduce you she don’t want you.   Some men think that means she is going to approach him and initiate things.  Naw.  A woman seduces by drawing you to them.   That’s their game.  When women throw on those sexy clothes they going fishing with a net.   They catch ten men in that net and throw back seven cause they bamas.   Of the three she keeps she throws one back later cause though he cute, he dumb and broke.   Another one is cute and got some ends but he can’t fuck.  She get with him and after 3 minutes dude gets his rocks off and is now snoring.   Third one a little better but they don’t really click so she’s back to fishing.  Women though don’t go without good dick unless they really want to.  That’s when my cellphone starts blowing up.  Texts be looking like this:

            Woman:  What you doing now?

            Me:  Reading a comic book.

            Woman: I betcha you can’t read a comic book while I’m sucking your dick.

            Me:  Yeah I can.   We’ll find out in the future.

            Woman:  We can find out now.  I’m outside your door with a trench coat, heels, and nothing else.

            Me: Oh snap.

            I wasn’t doing anything else at the time anyway.  I did check her for coming over without calling first.  She had skills so I let her off with a warning.

            I learned early in life that women will give a man the punanny without him doing anything other than being himself.  When I was about nine I was playing tag with some kids around the way.   There was this seven year old named Susie who liked me.   Now we playing tag and I was it.   I counted to ten and start chasing them.  I’m chasing them and Susie told the group, “Y’all run ahead now I got this.”  She slowed down and then fell to the ground.  I ain’t gonna say what happened next cause people wanna go around with their heads in the sand and act like kids ain’t getting down.  Let’s just say we didn’t finish the game but started a different one.  

            Years later at fourteen, a 30ish single woman showed me some things.   Every neighborhood got that one woman who don’t like men her own age and like them some young boys.   That’s where that whole cougar thing started.   Feminists and their mangina enablers act like men are the only ones doing some foul shit with underage children.   Mothers with some street smarts know when they see their sons start to fill out that older women are going to be checking for their baby boys.  Many a dude got initiated by either an older neighbor, teacher, or babysitter.   Those same dudes are the ones that turn out to be playas and dogs.  Oh yeah, oh yeah, I can get gully with it and talk about the game that so-called relationship experts, dating coaches, and red pill bloggers don’t know about.   That’s some deep shit though.  I’ll let Rom take care of that.

            Now I know some bamas reading this don’t care about any deep shit.  They want to know how Dexter Goodbar is getting his.   Well one I’m fine, at least that’s what women tell me when they ask me to put my number into their smartphones.   Women are visual.   A woman can cum just by looking at a man.   Thing is most men are physically unattractive to women.   Too many men let themselves get out of shape.  They thinking that as long as they got money and some game they can get over.   Naw, money and game is just something women settle for when they can’t otherwise find a fine man.  

            Now a man can send a woman to heaven but he gonna need to be able to conversate with her afterwards.   I got the gift of gab.  I can talk to a woman about anything.   I got a bunch of sisters and female cousins so learned how to talk with women early.   See too many men don’t know how to talk to women without trying to get sex.   A man gotta be able to just vibe with a woman without trying to get in her panties.   It ain’t always about the sex.   Women bring a lot to the table.  Many men gotta stop tripping.   A man has to sometimes walk away from the punanny.  

            There’s was this one time when I went over to this fine sista’s house.   She was so fine my dick drove me over.   She opened the door butt naked, holding a freshly baked cherry pie.  She said, “Dexter you have a choice to make.  You can only get me or this cherry pie.  One or the other, not both.  Choose wisely.”

            Man that was the best cherry pie I ever had.

            Besides being fine and able to talk to the ladies, I turn them on because I run shit.   I own some clothing stores.   People think I’m just a pretty boy.  I’ve been hustling since I was little plus I got a degree.   Women talk all that independent stuff.  Most of the time that’s because they don’t have a sexy man to provide for them.   Here’s a little known game women run.   A man will meet an “independent” woman and think she’s bringing finances to the table.   As they date and some cases get married he finds out she doesn’t want to be a career woman.   She always wanted to be a happy housewife.   She was only “independent” because she didn’t have a choice.   She still had to eat.  As Rom would say, “Ask me how I know.”

            There’s so much I can say.   I got things to do so let me leave you with this.   You got a lot of men out there who bore women sexually.   Mainly it’s bamas who want to get a little too romantic.   I know many cats who want to make love to soft music, candles and shit.  They be reciting some erotic poetry and talking about doing some Tantra so they can “heal” the woman.   They got the silk sheets. And the room is bright and clean and whatnot.  You know all that is good but sometimes you gotta switch that joint up.

            Every now and then you gotta bring the mattress into the living room and sit there buck naked waiting for your woman to get home.   When she walks through the door you gotta rip her clothes off, throw her on the mattress, and tap that ass like you just got out of prison.   Every now and then women need that raw uncivilized primal masculine energy.   Studs know what I’m talking about.  Women will start talking trash when they want that energy.  They grab your ass and be yelling, “Take this muthafucking pussy! You know want it!  Take it! Take the pussy!” 

            All right I done talked enough smack.   I just got a text.  I have to go do the Lord’s work.




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