Where do I start with this?
First of all in the world of men, ONE thing that will cause a heterosexual man to respect another man is the ability to pull women. I remember back in the nineties I was on the street in front of my apartment building. Across the street was a brotha who was dealing with a stalled car. At the same time a relatively tall Asian woman with a mini skirt and killer legs walked out of the building. Now me and the Asian woman were having a fling at the time. So when she walked out we spoke for maybe ten minutes and then she left to take care of business. The brotha who witnessed the interaction and picked up that there was more going on between me and the young lady, walked across the street, looked at me and then looked at the young lady as she walked away. The brotha then invited me to a private party. As the saying goes, “game recognizes game.” He respected me because he knew I had pulled a fine ass woman. That’s how it is in the world of men. This is why successful men will go for trophy women.
Now many men in order to get respect from other men will inflate the number of women they have been with. Total opposite of women. For example a woman has had sex with ten men. If anybody were to ask her she will say she has had sex with five men. Of course she was in relationships with the five men at the time. She omits the two one night stands she had. She neglects to mention the fling she had with a neighbor. She doesn’t talk about being a side piece for a year to a married man. Finally, there was the time she had pity sex with the ugly, out of shape loser who was a genuine nice guy. Of course she only talks about when she was penetrated in her vagina. Her sexual CONTACT number is in the forties. She doesn’t count the number of dicks she sucked, or the times she let a man eat her out or suck her titties.
So while women are under counting, men are over counting. If a man tells me he’s been with fifty women I always divide that in half. So we down to twenty-five. Unlike women most men count every sexual contact. Out of that twenty-five, the man only penetrated vaginally nine women. Six of the women only let him perform oral sex on them. Five of them let the man suck their breasts and nothing else. Four of the women just sucked his dick. One woman spent the night in his bed half naked and let him feel her up but allowed nothing else. Of course the typical man is going to inflate his numbers in order to look good to his peers.
Okay, dudes are going to lie on their dicks. Overall it’s not major issue if men do so in barbershops or on the street corner. Men bond on talking some bullshit. It’s part of the game and the average man with street smarts knows this. The problem I have is when men do so in the context of the Male Dating Advice Industry. You have dating coaches, bloggers, and seduction gurus who will say they’ve been with hundreds of women in order to get men to buy their products. They will back up their claims with pictures of them with beautiful women or videos of them kissing women in the streets. Someone naïve thinks that these men are actually having sex with these women when in reality many of these “experts” are hiring models.
Here’s the biggest single issue I have with many men saying they’ve been with hundreds of women: They never talk about the problems that come from dealing with multiple women. I don’t care how Playa, Mack, Pimp, or Pick-Up Artist a man thinks he is, there are going to be issues when dealing with multiple women. Let me count the ways.
First of all, you have ordinary looking men with average bodies and modest incomes talking about they have sex with several very attractive women. That’s some bullshit for one simple reason. The overwhelming majority of women in ANY culture are not going to be facially beautiful with sexy bodies. In American society the AVERAGE woman is plain looking, short, and slightly overweight. Seriously I challenge any man reading this to ask himself the following question, “How often do I see a woman I would rate as at least an Eight?” Even men who spend most of their time in bars and clubs are not going to see a lot of women that attractive. Even on college campuses where there are young women in their sexual prime how many of them are extremely attractive? I watch a lot of college basketball and the camera ALWAYS finds the cheerleaders. Anybody who knows anything about the cheerleading subculture (yes it’s a subculture) knows that the women are chosen based on physical attractiveness even if this is not stated publically. Watching these cheerleaders on TV if you look at most from the neck up they are not extremely attractive but were probably the best candidates at a particular school. Models, pin-up girls, and the like make money because they are RARE. If a man has truly had sex with over a hundred women it is likely only three of them were extremely attractive. The rest were likely average and slightly overweight.
Another issue is that when men claim to have high counts it they NEVER seem to have any stories of any major drama. It’s always a case of meeting a very beautiful woman, running some type of game, and having sex with her that same night. Then this very beautiful woman just goes her own merry way and the man goes to work on his next drop dead gorgeous conquest. Bullshit! First of all if a man has sex with a physically attractive women he will likely want to have sex with her again. Very beautiful women make the most cold-blooded players think in terms settling down. Especially if she is good in bed and can make a sweet potato pie. That’s the male fantasy right there. The reality is different.
Men who have high counts are for the most part messing with average and even ugly women with average shapes. A man is typically not going to catch feelings for an average woman. Even though the propaganda is that average women are nicer than beautiful ones, that is usually not the case. Many average women have major issues. A man dealing with multiple women has to deal with a lot of mental illness. Women know if they’re dealing with a man who really doesn’t care for them beyond sex. Yet they will still deal with that man. Then when the man decides to move on, the women start engaging in obsessive behavior particular if the dick was real good. These women will show up at a man’s place unannounced, do a drive by at 2 in in the morning, call or text him at all day long. I’ve known women who have camped out in front of a man’s home. Some men get assaulted. Domestic violence goes both ways.
So if man says he has had sex with over a hundred women and I feel like challenging him I’m going to ask a few questions. I will ask about level of attractiveness and mental health issues. I will also ask how many pregnancy scares has he had. I will ask how many times he has had to pay for an abortion. I will ask how many kids he has. I will ask how many times he has had to get a shot in the butt because he caught an STD. The more women a man deals the more chances that there are going to be some unintended consequences.
The thing is that there are men who have been legitimately been with multiple women. The conversation with them is way different from men who are lying on their dicks. Let me let y’all in on something. The back of my book, Nice Guys and Players says the following:
Are you a nice guys constantly passed over by women? Are you a player who can get every woman except the one you love?
The men who have supported my book the most have never been Nice Guys. In fact the biggest criticisms of my book has come from the men who need the book the most. The men who have supported me the most have been the pretty boys, the musclemen, and the Macks. I’ve had true to the game Pimps give me props. The reason for that support is that they can truly relate to my perspective.
Men who have truly been with a large number of women know the problems that come from a high count. These men are trying to limit their number. Many will even get married in an attempt to control their nature. Yeah the sex is good, even great in some cases but what comes along with it can be emotionally draining. See when a man penetrates a women physically she is also penetrating him mentally. A man is trying to plant his physical seed and a woman is trying to plant her mental seed. Many men get in trouble because they have sex with a woman with a jacked-up mentality. They have sex with her a few times and then wonder why their lives start falling apart. That’s because she is planting negative thoughts in their head. It’s like what a friend said about an extremely sexy woman we both knew, “She can get a man killed.” This woman was both sexy and highly intelligent. She knew how to plant seeds in men’s minds. A man dealing with multiple women has to be mentally strong because every single woman he deals with is trying to plant her seed in order to fulfill HER agenda.
There are men paying thousands of dollars to learn how to be players. It’s not a lifestyle for every man. It’s telling that the men who are actually living that lifestyle are trying to get out. Some will even go into therapy for sex addiction. I actually had more than one player wish they could be ordinary men. One even thought about suicide. When it gets down to it that’s why I feel a little anger when men obviously lie on their dicks. They try to paint a picture of a great lifestyle but it is an illusion. It’s a drug. The high feels good but when one comes down they feel terrible.
Ultimately men need to focus on quality and not quantity. The most impressive thing to say to me is not, “I’ve been with over hundred women.” It impresses me more when a man says I’ve been with five women who helped me to become a success.”
Now that’s what men need to be saying.