Video: The Look of a Ladies' Man

8/9/2015

Michael

8/9/2015 06:24:08 am

You mentioned only a small segment of black women being attracted to that type of man( i.e. Thuggish type). What percentage of black women would you say it is? It seems hard to believe it's so small when most black goodbars are either from the lower income areas or grow up in wealth(I remember you sharing that with us) and off course Goodbars are on top off the sexual pyramid because women want them the most.

rom

8/9/2015 07:47:58 am

It's hard to estimate percentage wise but in making that statement I take into consideration several factors and personal experience. Discussions regarding specifically Black relationships rarely take into consideration class differences. The type of Black woman truly attracted to Thugs come from an environment where Thugs are the dominant males. Contrary to media images the average Black person in this country is in the middle class range economically going from blue collar workers to professionals. Thugs are going to appeal to ratchet women. College-educated women tend to deal with college-educated men. There are few exceptions. People tend to focus on Thugs because they are visible and the ones that attract many women tend to attract sexually attractive women. The truth is that many Thugs are really in the Gamesmen category and are seen as generally non-select by the average women. Many Thugs are tricks even when they get sex.

Again specific to the Black Community the Goodbars from poor environments aren't necessarily Thugs. The poor Goodbars tend to be pretty boys, exceptional jocks, or top hustlers who do what they can to move to a better life.

Also something to consider is that all Ladies' Men aren't Goodbars. There are men who fall into the Goodbar category who are very monogamous. Goodbar is just how the women see them. Masked Men and very good Gamesmen can be ladies' men.

It's a lot of nuances to all of this. Regarding specifically Black Women though, the man they check for in the long term is the Masked Man. Goodbar might be the sexiest but money is a big factor in Black relationships. Long term the sistas want a Masked Man.

Michael

8/9/2015 09:11:21 am

Thanks Rom....

Michael

8/10/2015 06:23:08 am

@Rom
Growing up in the black community there are many things that influence how women select men for relationships. We know looks does. You mentioned money. Another thing you mentioned last year was skin color. You mentioned that most black goodbars tend to be light skinned brothers or biracial. You're a brown skinned brother, did you feel growing up you had to work harder than your lighter skin counterparts and really be on your P's and Q's all the time? For example in the black community a white man can approach a sister in some flip flops and clothes from walmart, and a light skin brother can be below 6ft and not as handsome and both get the benefit of the doubt, but a darker brother we gotta really come with our A game all the time. We have the be the most attractive and competent one in the room to get the opportunities in dating & business that we really want.

Rom

8/10/2015 06:47:52 am

I faced some colorism growing up but it didn't make me work any harder than I already did. Some females made it an issue some didn't. I know some other chocolate brothas that went through mess with the sistas. A big change came in the late eighties, early nineties with the rise Denzel Washington, Wesley Snipes, and Blair Underwood. Chocolate Brothas became the in thing. Now it's a mix. Idris Elba and Boris Kudjoe get the same amount of attention. It's only an issue now if you allow it to be.

Video: The Look of a Ladies' Man

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